by Becky Monson
“Anna, I don’t care about stupid traditions. Would you just get him for me?”
Seriously, our lives are about to change completely, and Anna’s worried about some stupid superstition about how Jared and I can’t see each other before the wedding? Plus, we’re already married. So there’s that.
A few minutes later there’s a soft knock at the door. “Jules?” I hear Jared’s voice and I swear just hearing it makes everything feel better.
Even if he’s not thrilled with the idea, he’ll learn to be. We both will. Although I can’t lie, part of me is feeling something verging on thrilled. It’s just being slightly overshadowed by the fact that we may have to come clean about eloping, and also the morning sickness. I could do without that.
I stand up slowly and go over to the door, opening it.
“No!” Anna screams when she sees me open the door.
“Get over it Anna,” I yell back and open the door wide enough for Jared to come in, then shutting the door behind him.
He looks very double-oh-seven in his tuxedo. I kind of want to attack him right here in the bathroom, if it weren’t for Anna screaming outside the door to “make it quick.” And the looming feeling of wanting to barf. How will I endure nine months of this? How will everyone endure my whining for nine months?
“How’re you feeling?” he asks, pulling me into his arms. Tears immediately form in the corners of my eyes. Just being in his arms makes me feel so safe. I can handle anything with Jared’s arms around me.
“I,” I cut off with a sniffle. The tears have now accumulated and are moving down my face.
“Are you crying?” He pulls back to see my face. “Jules, what’s wrong?” The concern on his face makes the tears come faster.
“Um, well,” I don’t know how to say this. So I pull out of his arms and take him by the hand over to the test that’s sitting on the top of the toilet. I nod my head toward it.
“Is that—” he cuts off as his eyes widen when he sees the pregnancy test. “Is that what I think it is?”
I nod my head yes, hesitantly. I’m looking at his face, but I’m still not sure how he’s feeling by his facial expressions. He looks confused. Or maybe scared. Or both. He’s probably not quite sure how he feels. I know I’m not.
He looks at the test and then looks back at me, and then looks at the test again. He reaches out and lifts it up, as if he can’t believe it’s real.
“But … how?” he asks, looking at me.
“Um,” I wring my hands together. How will he take this? “I sort of forgot to take my pill for a couple of days.”
I search his face. But his expression is still more contemplative as he takes in this information. Oh gosh, please don’t be mad at me. It was a simple mistake that has now changed our lives forever. So yeah, kind of a big mistake.
“You forgot your pill,” he repeats in a monotone voice looking down at the test again.
“Jared, I—” I start to apologize, but the hand that’s not holding the test comes up to his face and covers it. And his shoulders begin to shake.
Oh, pile of crap, I think he’s crying. My stomach sinks. I’ve ruined things.
“Jared?” I ask softly, putting a hand on his shoulder.
He takes his hand away from his eyes, and I can see them—actual tears streaming down his face. My heart beats faster and my mind goes numb trying to come up with something to say. Some way to save this.
But before I can, he puts the test down on the counter and then he does something I wasn’t expecting—he puts his arms around me and buries his face into my neck.
He whispers something into my neck so quiet I can’t even catch what he’s saying.
“What?” I ask softly.
He pulls his head back so he’s now looking in my eyes. “Thank you,” his voice breaks a little when he repeats what he had said.
“Thank you?” I question, my eyes searching his for answers. Thank you for what? For giving him a reason to jump ship? For making our already complicated lives that much crazier?
“Thank you for this,” he says, picking up the pregnancy test again and looking at it.
“Oh my gosh, you’re happy?” I say, seeing the biggest smile spread across his face when he looks again at the test with that definitive “pregnant” on the tiny screen.
“Of course I’m happy,” he says, his smile growing even wider. “Aren’t you?”
“I don’t know. I mean, yes—I think I am—but I’m also freaked out. Jared, this changes everything. And it wasn’t planned, and it was stupid of me to forget to take my pills … I just didn’t know how you’d take it.”
“Jules,” he takes my hand in his, “when you said you’d marry me, I didn’t think I could be any happier. But this?” He holds the test stick out in front of us. “Marrying you and having a family with you, well,” he stops, because his voice breaks again and tears form in his eyes.
Then tears form in my eyes. Well, actually tears start to fall like waterfalls from my eyes. I think I’d been trying to keep them at bay for too long. I make a snorting noise because, well, that’s what I do in perfect moments like this. Jared takes me in his arms and we cry together. And it’s all just so beautifully cheesy.
“We’re having a baby,” he says, his arms still around me.
“We are,” I say, feeling emotions pour through me that I’ve never felt before. Feelings of excitement, elation, and a tad bit of what-the-crap. I’m pretty sure these are normal feelings. I hope.
But then again, what do I know? I have no idea what “normal” is in this situation. All I know is that I was a terrible babysitter when I was younger. I spent most of the time talking to my friends on the phone and eating their food and completely ignoring the kids I was hired to watch. I’ve never been much of a baby person, or a child person for that matter. I mean I love my nephew, Liam, but I’m not going to lie, when he has a dirty diaper or is unusually whiney, I immediately hand him back to his parents. This kid’s going to be with me all the time. All the diapers. All the whining. I have to deal with all of it. What if I suck at it?
And what about my own life? I’m a bit of a disaster at this point. I mean, yes, I’ve sort of got a handle on the anxiety thing—well, I’m properly medicated (which coincidentally can be taken while pregnant according to the doctor, I had no idea why he would say that at the time, maybe I looked bloated)—but this is all new for me. I’m still a mess. My life is still chaotic. A baby certainly won’t make that better. From what I’ve seen, it’ll only make things harder.
“What’s wrong, Jules?” Jared asks after he’s pulled his head back and sees the look on my face.
“I’m going to totally mess this kid up,” I say, suddenly feeling the weight of all this land on me. And it feels like the heaviness of an elephant.
“Jules,” he says, a half smile on his face. “You’ll be great. And besides, you aren’t doing it alone, remember? I’ll be there to help mess him up too.”
I punch him lightly on the arm. “Don’t joke. And wait, did you say ‘him’?”
He just smiles.
I touch my stomach. “It could be a girl, you know.”
“Yes, and I’ll love Julianna just as much as I’d love Jared Junior.” He smirks.
I punch him again.
“We have a problem,” I say, not wishing to ruin this moment further, but it needs to be said.
“What problem?”
“What do we say to our families?” I felt suddenly nauseated at the thought. Or maybe it’s the pregnancy nausea. It’s hard to tell anymore.
“What do you mean?” he asks, confused.
“I mean, we’re having a baby. It won’t be hard for them to do the math when I have this baby seven and a half months from now.”
“Oh, so what. We’re married, so Bobby can’t be mad,” he says, batting my worry away with a flick of his wrist.
“Yes, but Bobby doesn’t know that,” I reply. “So do we admit to our families that we eloped?
Or do we let them think we had a little oops?” I ask, my hand going down to my stomach again. Hard to think of this baby growing inside of me as an “oops.” That seems kind of harsh. See there? I’m already defending the little tyke. Maybe I won’t be so bad after all.
“Hmm.” Jared considers that for a moment. “I guess we better tell them we eloped.”
“But they’ll hate us!” I exclaim. “They went to all this work for this big wedding, and you know your mom will blame me.” My shoulders fall. All of my work to keep on the good side of my mother-in-law will be ruined.
“Julia,” Jared hooks a finger under my chin and lifts my face up to his, “don’t you think she’ll be so thrilled that you’re giving her a grandchild that none of this will matter?”
“I never thought of that.”
“So we’ll tell them. But after the wedding,” he says with a single nod of his head.
“Okay,” I say.
He seems so at peace with it all. I wish I could feel the same. Anticipation bubbles in my stomach as I think about telling everyone. I wish I could just send them an e-mail while we’re on our honeymoon. Or a text. That’d be super tacky, but maybe it would be something we could all laugh about later. Remember that time Julia sent us a text to tell us she was preggers and that they had eloped so it wasn’t one of those twenty-first century out-of-wedlock babies? That was hilarious!
“JULIA!” Anna pounds on the door. “In case you forgot, you’re getting married in fifteen minutes!”
I tuck the pregnancy test in my toiletry bag and Jared gives me one last hug and then opens the door.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep everyone entertained until she’s ready,” he says to Anna with a smirk.
“That’s not comforting at all,” Anna says, oozing sarcasm, and then her eyes widen when she sees me. “Holy crap, what happened to your face?”
I turn and look in the mirror, and although the waterproof mascara has stayed intact, there are trail marks of tears through the rest of my makeup, and my eyeliner has smudged so that I’m looking rather goth. The red eyes aren’t helping matters either.
“Jared,” Anna says, trying to steady her breath, “what did you say to her?”
“Nothing,” I interject quickly. “We were just discussing … uh … stuff.”
“Well, now I have to fix this,” she motions at my person with her hands moving wildly around, “and get you ready in fifteen minutes. Why do you insist on ruining your own wedding? A crazy trip to the drugstore, crying your makeup off in the bathroom. Seeing your fiancé before the wedding?”
“I better leave, I think she’s about to blow,” Jared says to me in a stage whisper loud enough for Anna to hear.
“Get out of here!” She yells at him and he practically runs out of the room.
“Brown,” Anna yells. “You better get over here. We have massive work to do.”
CHAPTE
R 33
Lucky for me, I don’t throw up again. I’m finally able to keep some soda crackers down and my stomach feels like it settled. Or maybe all of the nerves I’m feeling before my dad walks me down the aisle cover up the nausea. Like two negatives that cancel each other out.
The church is filled to the brim with people. Many people that I know, and so many that I don’t. But it’s no matter, this day is about all of them and no longer about Jared and me. We had our day. A hippy and spider filled day, but it was ours.
My dad tucks my hand in the nook of his arm and we start walking down the aisle to a violin quartet playing The Wedding March. On the way down, I see some of my old coworkers from Spectraltech. I also see Debbie and George, Patti and her husband, Randall, Kate and someone I don’t recognize; all are smiles as I pass them. Lia, in her normal mismatched attire (although a slightly dressed-up version) beams at me as I walk past her. She gives me a little wink, and I know what she’s referring to. Our little secret. I do feel a little bond with her, knowing that she’s been at both of my weddings.
Up at the front of the church sits our families. Bobby, Mark, and Lisa on one side, my mom, grandparents, Lennon, Jenny, and Jonathon on the other. Liam, dressed in a tiny tuxedo, bounces around on Lennon’s leg.
As we approach the end of the aisle, I see Brown and Anna standing up at the front smiling at me. They look gorgeous in their bridesmaid’s dresses. It’s hard to believe all of this hoopla is for me. It’s quite overwhelming.
“I love you, Julie-Bear,” my dad whispers to me as we get to the end of the aisle, right before he’s supposed to hand me off to Jared.
And there go the waterworks.
“I love you too, Dad,” I whisper back, tears brimming in my eyes.
He hands me to Jared and tells him to take care of me and then Jared starts to tear up as well. Honestly, we’re already married, but all of this hoopla is seriously hard on the emotions. Also, there was a massive lack of sleep last night. Oh, and I’m full of pregnancy hormones.
The minister goes into his spiel and Jared and I wipe tears away from our eyes as we promise to love, honor, and cherish one another.
“The bride and groom would now like to say their own vows.”
The minister turns to me to go first and I let out a slow exhale. I was not looking forward to this part, and even with the eloping thing, it’s still feeling like a lot of pressure to get it right.
“Jared,” I start. “I’m not sure what I did right, but I must have done something to deserve a man like you. A man with so much integrity and such a big heart, I feel like I’ve been blessed beyond belief.” I basically mumble over the last part. Dear heavens, why would I put four B-words in a row? I should’ve paid someone to write this.
I clear my throat and Jared gives me a little smirk. “I promise to take care of you to the best of my ability,” I continue, “even if it means I have to relinquish some of the control, or at least make you feel like I did.” This gets me a chuckle from the audience.
“My only hope is that I can make you as happy as you’ve made me.”
There’s an audible “ah” from the crowd and Jared swipes a tear from his cheek. The two of us are quite the blubbering pair.
“Jared,” the minister motions to him.
“Julia, I think I fell in love with you the moment I found you hiding under that conference room table,” Jared says, and everyone laughs, even though they are probably totally confused by the visual. I kind of want to pinch the hand of Jared’s that I’m holding for even bringing it up, but I hold back. From the back, a boisterous laugh echoes through the church. Mr. Calhoun, I presume. He was the only other person there on that fateful day. And that’s what it was: fate.
“And every day since has felt like an adventure,” Jared continues. “You make me laugh. You make me feel like I can do anything. I have no idea what the future will bring for us, but I do know that I’ll work to make you feel my love every day of our lives.”
Another “ah” runs through the crowd as I swoon over this man that I love so much.
The minister starts speaking again, and has us exchange rings. This time when I put the ring on Jared’s finger, it’s there for good.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jared Moody,” the minister announces once we both have our rings. “You may now kiss your bride,” he directs to Jared.
Jared pulls me in, wraps his arms around me, and gives me a sweet, tender kiss that lasts slightly longer than I’d told him I would allow, but I honestly don’t care.
Everyone cheers as we walk back down the aisle and exit the church.
I must admit marrying Jared for the second time was just as fantastic as the first. And this time, there was no spider.
CHAPT
ER 34
The start of the reception is a blur of hugs and congratulations. I’ve been hugged by so many strangers today, it’s a darn good thing I’m not a germaphobe.
I know I said I didn’t want over-the-top for my reception, but Anna has gone above and beyond. The ballroom lo
oks fantastic with twinkling lights and stunning flower and candle centerpieces for the tables. The chairs are covered with gold lamé wraparounds that accent the cream colored tablecloths (about the only décor I picked out for this reception), and the formal place settings sparkle under the dim overhead lighting. Gorgeous flower arrangements adorn nearly every flat surface. Over in the far right corner I can see Patti, Debbie, and Kate taking pictures by the cake that they made. The cake is exactly what I wanted … because I told them exactly what I wanted and I’m their boss.
In the other corner of the ballroom sits the candy bar. I think it might be my favorite thing here. It has soft, muted colors, but still looks fanciful, like something you might see in an old-fashioned sixties diner. The champagne fountain is nowhere to be seen, thank you very much.
The only thing I don’t love is the huge dance floor in the center. But that’s not Anna’s fault. I hate dancing. I’m all Elaine Benes from Seinfeld on the dance floor. Only liquor can make me daring enough. Since I can’t drink anything now, I’m just going to have to avoid it.
I take mental pictures of everything, even though the flash from the photographer’s camera can be seen twinkling around the room every few seconds, so I’ll have actual pictures of it all. But I want to remember everything how I see it. Because I’ll one day be telling this baby growing in my belly all about this day. I’ll probably save the hippy elopement until he or she is older, for obvious reasons.
“Hello there, Mrs. Moody,” Jared says in my ear as he wraps his arms around me from the back. I tilt my head back and lean against his shoulder.
“Hello there,” I say. I’ve been Mrs. Moody for a while now, but I’m definitely not used to it.
His hand reaches down and caresses my stomach. I quickly push his hand away in case anyone caught sight of us.
“That’s a dead giveaway,” I say, half laughing. The fact that Jared is so thrilled about this baby makes me excited too. I’m not even worried about how much I’m going to mess this kid up. At least for now.