by Becky Monson
The DJ—who’s definitely trying too hard with his quick talking 1960’s radio nasal voice—announces that it’s time for our first dance.
“Ugh,” I say quietly to Jared.
“Is it that terrible to dance with your husband?” Jared asks, the left side of his lips pulled up in a mocking smile.
“Well, actually…”
“Come on,” he says, grabbing my hand and taking me to the center of the dance floor.
All eyes are on us, and the room is quiet as Bono starts crooning “All I Want Is You” from large speakers. There’d be no Etta James for us. Even though the words to “At Last” fit pretty well for this moment. The U2 song was playing on our drive back from eloping, and it was a pretty amazing moment when we both looked at each other and had the same thought that this should be what we dance our first dance to.
Both Jared and I share tears on the dance floor. Funny that everyone around us thinks we’re just happy to be married. In reality, we’re mostly caught up in the fact that we’ll be parents in the near future. It makes this moment even more beautiful having something that just him and I know. And Lisa too, I guess. Although I never confirmed with her. She only saw the pregnancy test.
After the song ends, the DJ brings everyone to the dance floor and I’m stuck out there having to dance. Jared does silly moves that somehow totally work and everyone keeps their eyes on him rather than the foot-shuffle-snapping thing I’m doing.
Just about when I’ve had enough with the dancing, the DJ announces that it’s time for toasts and the service staff starts handing out flutes of champagne. I grab one because we decided that I’ll pretend to drink it so I don’t bring attention to myself if I ask for something else.
Mark is up first. I feel a slight bit of nausea while his shoes make tapping noises as he goes over to the DJ to grab the microphone. Not nausea because of the pregnancy (although it’s definitely looming), but worry about what will come out of Mark’s mouth. He can be a bit of a loose cannon. Actually “bit” is putting it lightly.
“Hey everyone,” Mark says too loudly and feedback rings throughout the ballroom. Grumbling noises run through the crowd and I see my grandpa cover his ears with his hands. He takes a step forward, away from the speakers and then tries again. “Hello everyone,” he taps the microphone. “Is this thing on?” He taps it again and looks around the room. Seriously, did he not just deafen us all with the feedback? The microphone is on.
“Okay, so I’m the Best Man. So I guess I have the duty of giving a toast. I’m Mark, by the way.” A chuckle moves around the room. “Jared is my brother, and Julia is now my sister,” he says, very doofus like. I love Mark, but honestly, I would’ve rather had Mr. Calhoun give the speech and use his favorite word “proverbial” inaccurately over and over again. At least it would’ve been safe. With Mark you just never know.
“So, I was told by the maid of honor to keep this short,” he tips his head over to Anna, who’s glowering at him, “so let me just say that Jared has always been a great brother, even when he used to beat me up.” A few people giggle, probably more for support because it wasn’t that funny. “And,” Mark looks nervously down at the floor, “when our dad died, he really stepped up and helped our mom with me, and I’ve always looked up to him because of that.” Okay, well maybe Mark wasn’t a bad choice after all. I sniffle back some tears. “He deserves nothing but the best, and Julia,” he turns to me, “I think he’s found that in you.” He raises his glass to Jared and me. Jared, whose arm is around my waist, pulls me in tight to him and kisses the top of my head.
Wow, Mark actually came through.
“So here’s to Jared and Julia,” he goes to lift his glass. “Oh, wait, one more thing. Congrats on the baby, you two,” he nods over at us with a big smile. Then he lifts his glass again and takes a big gulp.
I can feel my heart beating in my throat. It’s gone completely and utterly quiet in the ballroom as everyone looks at Jared and me. I catch a glimpse of Bobby, who’s sitting at a table to my right. She looks stricken, and rather pale. My parent’s jaws are both nearly on the ground. Anna and Brown, who are standing across from me, are like wide-eyed twins.
“Jared,” I say in a whisper, because that’s all that would come out.
“Wait, didn’t everyone know?” Mark says into the microphone as he looks around the room at blank stares.
My stomach swirls and I suddenly feel overwhelming nausea come over me. “Jared, I think I’m going to be sick,” I say, putting a hand on my stomach.
“What?” he asks, searching my face like he might find a way to fix the nausea.
“I’m going to be sick,” I say again, and before I can upchuck in front of all of these witnesses, verifying the news that Mark just laid on everyone, I hitch up the bottom of my dress and hightail it out of the ballroom. I make it to the bathroom before the entire contents of dinner come back up.
What in the actual hell? Why would Mark say that? Did Jared tell him? I don’t think Jared would’ve told him. How’d he know, then?
Oh my gosh, Lisa. Lisa told him. Even after she promised not to tell anyone. Why would she do that? I guess I now get to tell everyone her hair secret. Like that’s really a fair trade. What are we going to do? All of our family and friends and complete strangers now know that I’m knocked up.
“Julia?” I hear someone say my name as they enter the large, multi-stall bathroom. “Julia?” she repeats.
I open the door and peek out. It’s Lisa.
Feeling sick from just throwing up and all of the drama that I’m sure is ensuing inside that ballroom, I let into her.
“How could you?” I ask, my voice is full of malice as I march over, pointing my index finger at her as I do. I want to be showing her another finger at this moment.
“I’m so sorry, Julia,” she says, and her face actually looks sincere. Fake sincerity. I don’t think there’s a sincere bone in this girl’s body. “I didn’t mean to say anything to him, it just slipped out. And I told him not to say anything, but you know Mark. He probably didn’t even hear me.”
I close my eyes as more nausea rolls through my stomach. I might be making a second round.
“Get out,” I say, pointing toward the door.
“Julia, I promise, I didn’t think he’d announce it to the whole room.” She looks stricken and sick to her stomach herself.
“Julia?” Jared asks, as he peeks his head into the woman’s bathroom. “Is there anyone else in here?”
“No,” I say, motioning with my hand for him to come in. “Lisa was just leaving.”
“I sent her in here to find you,” he says as he walks in the bathroom, putting his arms around me and pulling me into him. I lean my head against his strong chest and breathe in the scent of him. I refrain from punching him for sending Lisa in here, of all people.
“I’m so sorry, you guys,” Lisa says, her eyes actually look like there might be tears there. “I had no idea Mark would say anything—“
“How did you even know?” Jared interrupts.
“She saw me buying the pregnancy test at the drug store,” I say.
“I told Mark that it might not even be happening, but I guess he wasn’t listening. I’m going to kill him,” she says, tossing her glossy dark hair back with her hand.
“Not if I kill him first,” I say with a huff.
“No one’s killing anyone,” Jared says, still holding me tight. “It was a simple mistake.”
“A simple mistake,” I repeat, pulling my head back from his chest so I can look him in the eyes. “Now everyone we know and love, and a bunch of people we don’t know, know that I’m pregnant.”
“And they don’t know you eloped,” Lisa says, realizing how much worse the situation is, especially with Bobby.
“Wait, how did you know that?” Jared asks, confused.
I let out a harrumph. “She overheard me telling the pharmacy tech at the drug store.”
“Why were you telling him?” Jared
scrunches his face.
“Because he was judging me for being pregnant on my wedding day. I could see it in his eyes,” I say.
Jared shakes his head, but the corners of his lips turn up slightly. “Jules, we have to tell them.”
I let out a resounding sigh, accepting what I already knew we’d have to do.
“Come on,” he says, releasing his hold around me and taking me by the hand. “Anna is getting our families together so we can explain.”
Oh gosh, Anna is going to be so mad at me. “Can’t I just stay in the bathroom and you tell everyone?” I plead.
“We’re doing this together, Jules,” he says. “Besides, the eloping was your idea so you should be the one to tell.” Aha! He’s nervous too.
“Some knight in shining armor you are,” I say, disgruntled.
We walk hand in hand out of the bathroom with Lisa right behind us. Our family is all gathered together right outside the bathroom. Plus Brown, Debbie, and Patti.
I hear Patti say “bless her heart,” and I hold back and eye roll.
I swallow big as I look to Anna, who appears to be seething. This isn’t going to be pretty.
“We have something to tell you,” Jared starts, and my mom mouths “oh my gosh!” and covers her smiling mouth. At least she’s excited. I need at least one cheerleader.
“It’s true, Julia’s pregnant,” Jared says, and Brown screeches with excitement. There are varied expressions going around. Some look happy, some look confused, some look like they might choke me or Jared (mainly Bobby).
“But,” I say looking at Bobby, “it’s not what you think.” I look to Jared who gives me a confirming dip of his chin. “Remember all the anxiety I was dealing with?” I get some nods from a few people. “Well, a lot of it had to do with today. I felt like there was too much riding on this one day. Everything had to be perfect and everything had to go right.” I don’t mention that one of the bigger issues was all the people who were invited—no need to tick off Bobby more than I already had.
“So after I ended up in the hospital, I convinced Jared to elope with me. That way it’d take the pressure off. Today wouldn’t have to be perfect, because we would already be married. I’m sure a lot of you won’t understand why we did this, but it really did help me. Today was even more wonderful because it didn’t carry the weight that I’d been giving it.” I throw the last part in hoping that they all will see how much we still appreciated this day and all of the work that was put into it. Because it’s the truth.
“So when did ya elope?” Patti asks.
“When Jared took me away for the weekend. About six weeks ago,” I say.
“And how far along are you?” Brown asks, a big smile on her face.
“My guess is six weeks,” I say with a shrug of my shoulders.
“Well, then I’d say congratulations are in order,” my dad says, raising his champagne flute that he’s still carrying.
I look to Bobby to see if I can read what she’s thinking, by the look on her face. She looks as if she’s trying to piece things together in her head.
“So,” she says, after a few seconds of quiet, “I guess that explains why you were so upset about me living with you, Jared,” she says. A small smile appears on her face and then she breaks out laughing.
I look to Jared. He looks confused as well.
“Mom?” he questions.
“It’s just too funny,” she says, wiping under her eyes. “You elope and come home expecting to start your lives together, and instead you have to live apart because your old-fashioned mother-in-law is living in your house.” She starts laughing again.
My parents join in with the laughter, and I can feel Jared’s shoulders shaking lightly next to me. I look up to see him chuckling along with them.
Well, I guess she’s taking this well.
“Mom,” he says, when she finally stops laughing, “you’re going to be a grandma.”
When Jared says this, it’s almost as if this is news to her. Like she can finally wrap her brain around the situation. She beams up at him.
“I’d say that’s cause for celebration,” she says. “Someone get us more champagne. Not you, Julia, you need to take care of my grandbaby in there.” She walks over to me and pulls me into a hug. “Congratulations, my dear,” she says softly in my ear.
When she pulls away, I scan around for Anna, and see her and Brown talking. While Bobby is hugging Jared, I walk over to her.
“So,” I say, and then nibble on my bottom lip.
“So,” Anna repeats.
“Do you hate me?” I smile sheepishly.
“A little,” she says, but then she smiles. “But I’m mostly happy for you.” And then she pulls me into a hug. She must be drunk. This is not typical Anna. She’s rarely happy for me and she never hugs me. I’ll take it, though. She can sober up and be mad at me later. Right now I just want to enjoy this moment.
“Now it’s your turn to get knocked up,” Brown says to Anna.
“Actually, after seeing Julia throw up her guts today, I think I’ll wait a little longer,” Anna says, her nose scrunching up with mock disgust.
Brown starts talking about how we get to do this all together and go on family vacations together and have barbecues … and maybe our kids will marry each other and we can then be in-laws. She’s totally getting ahead of herself and I love it.
Anna seems genuinely happy for the both of us. Not an ounce of envy—or at least not any that we can see. I’m still willing to bet she’s drunk a little too much. I guess we’ll just have to see.
All around us our family and friends are bustling with talk of babies and grand-parenting, and they all seem elated. Lennon has baby Liam give me a fist-bump (his newest trick) and then gives me a congratulatory hug. The thrill in the air is palpable as they all drink a toast to Jared, me, and this baby growing in my belly.
And just like that, everything feels right in my little world.
“Julia, I’m so sorry,” Mark says, walking up to me after the toast, Lisa in tow. “I had no idea that it was a secret. I promise it wasn’t Lisa’s fault. Don’t blame her for my big mouth.”
At least he can admit that he has a big mouth. Lisa looks so pitiful standing next to him, I almost think he might be telling the truth.
“No worries,” I say and I can see the relief in Lisa’s face. I don’t think she did it on purpose, and even if she did, I don’t truly care. Everything turned out just fine. And maybe even how it was supposed to.
The rest of the night goes off without a hitch, all things considered. We don’t get on the microphone and explain things to everyone. It’s none of their business, anyway. The people that mean the most to me know, and that’s all I care about. Anyway, I’m sure word got around, probably singlehandedly by Bobby.
There’s more dancing, the bouquet and garter toss (Lisa fought someone for the bouquet—guess she’s dying to be next), and I don’t have to threaten annulment after the cake cutting because Jared feeds me a bite of the lemon pound cake with lemon curd and raspberry filling like a gentleman. I, on the other hand, am not so kind. I smash the cake all over his mouth. And then, in front of my friends, family, and half of Denver that I don’t even know, I lick some of it off. What can I say? I was feeling a little giddy at this point.
By the end we’re all exhausted, our feet are hurting, and I’m pretty sure my cheeks are bruised from all the smiling, but this has been the best second wedding ever. Even with Mark announcing my pregnancy to everyone. That might’ve been the icing on the cake. It makes me wonder if I actually could’ve survived if we’d skipped the whole eloping thing. But we’ll never know now, and honestly, if I had to do it all over again, I’d have done it the exact same way.
Jared and I run through bubbles as we leave to get in the car and head out to our hotel. Everyone whoops and hollers as we go, and Jared’s car is quite the mess with versions of “just married” written all over the windows. I only get a quick look, but I believe ther
e are a string of condoms tied to the back. What a waste that was since that ship has sailed.
As we drive away with everyone cheering behind us, Jared grabs my hand and lifts it to his mouth. He places a soft kiss on my fingers and then gives me one of his best sexy smiles. I think about how much has happened since he first found me hiding under that conference room table, and I’m grateful for all of it. And there is still a lifetime together to look forward to.
EPILO
GUE
Seven and a half months later …
The sound of a baby crying makes both Jared and me burst into tears. It’s loud and shrill and probably the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
“Here’s your baby girl,” the doctor says as he lays a tiny bundle of beauty on my chest. She’s covered in red gunk and some white powdery looking stuff. I know I told the doctor before she was born that if he laid that grossness on my chest I would not pay him (I saw the doctor do that with Brown and her baby boy and there was no way I was going to allow that). But that was before. I couldn’t care less right now. She’s beautiful and perfect and she’s all mine. I mean, mine and Jared’s. But I did all the growing and two hours of pushing while he did basically nothing, so I think she’s a little more mine than his.
“Hello, Julianna,” Jared coos as she fusses, making jerky movements as she tries to make sense of this world she’s been thrust into.
“Jared,” I chide.
“Well she needs a name, so I’m giving her a temporary one,” he says as he carefully touches her little hand.
Jared and I could never agree on a name. We went around and around trying to come up with the perfect name. I said we should combine our mother’s names, just like in the Twilight series, and call her Bobkat. Jared did not appreciate it because he’s never read the books nor has he seen the movies, but I laughed enough for the both of us.
“I know it might be a little unorthodox, but I was thinking about the name James,” I say.
James is the name of Jared’s dad. Jared’s head drops and his shoulders begin to shake.