Dangerous Curves Ahead: A Perfect Fit Novel
Page 16
“That was almost as fun as sex.”
He smiled down at her and then when he couldn’t help himself anymore, he pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, hoping that some of her happiness would seep into him.
“Mmm,” she moaned, closing her eyes for just a moment. “Now tell me what’s wrong.”
“What?” He stiffened, her question taking him by surprise. “Nothing.”
“Something.” She ran her fingers through his hair. “Tell me.”
He looked at her for a moment, prepared to tell her he was fine, but he couldn’t. She caught him off guard. She saw right through him. “A boy I arrested was killed in prison yesterday. He was only fifteen.”
She was quiet for a moment, her eyes taking in every inch of his face. “You feel guilty,” she said, reading his mind. “You feel like if you hadn’t busted him he would still be alive.”
He nodded. “There are kids that are just bad but then there are kids who just need a leg up. Darryl’s father had died the month before the robbery. Hit by a car, crossing the street. The kid was reeling and poor and running with the wrong crowd. If somebody would’ve taken the time out to help him I know he wouldn’t have robbed that store.”
“But he did, Mikey. And you were doing your job. There’s nothing you could have done differently. No reason you should feel like shit.”
“I know that.” He shook his head. “But it bothers me. I’ve thrown so many kids in jail only to find out later that prison has made them more violent, that they have really hurt someone when they got back on the streets. It makes me hate being a cop sometimes.”
She ran the back of her fingers across his jaw. “Is that why you moved here, because you weren’t happy anymore?”
“I moved here because some asshole nearly beat an eighty-nine-year-old to death and I barely batted a lash. I didn’t like that about myself. I didn’t like what I was becoming so I moved here. I figured the risk of being disgusted with myself was lower.” He’d never admitted that aloud to anybody and now that he had it off his chest he couldn’t stop himself from telling her more. “The only thing I’ve ever wanted to be in life was a New York City cop. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know when that stopped being enough.”
“What do you want out of your life?”
“I don’t know. I came here to figure that out.”
She cupped his face, kissing the tip of his nose. “You’re damaged and confused. I like that about you.”
“So you’re admitting you like me now?”
“I’ve always liked you. I had a crush on you four years ago, even before we met.” Her cheeks went red.
“Did you?” He was surprised by her statement and surprised how damn good it made him feel.
“Yeah. I shouldn’t have told you that,” she grumbled. “It’ll probably make your big stupid head swell to epic proportions.”
“Ellis…”
“Oh yeah, I was being nice to you, wasn’t I? There’s something good about you, Mike. Even before I knew you I sensed it. You’re a good man, and a good cop. You should be happy, and if being a cop doesn’t make you happy anymore I want you to find the thing that does.”
He looked down at her for a moment, unable to describe what was going on inside him. This woman … She was making it hard for him to be miserable.
“You’ve got grass in your hair.” He slid his lips along her cheek. “We should probably get you off the ground. It’s getting cold out here.”
“Really?” She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m not feeling it.”
He wasn’t, either. With his body pressed to hers he was feeling warm all over, but as comfortable as he was, he knew he couldn’t lie in the grass with her all night. He reluctantly pulled his body off hers. “I want to buy you dinner.”
“Okay. Anything but sushi.” She got up, dusting off her behind. “I hate sushi.”
“I do, too.” He retrieved her shoes. “If you’re going to give me fish, cook it.”
“I know. And don’t just cook it. Deep-fry it. I don’t want to feel too healthy eating it.”
He took her arm and led her out of the park. “Yeah, and whole fish gives me the creeps. Who the hell wants to have the eyes of the thing they’re eating staring at them?”
“Exactly! Every time I see someone eating one I keep thinking that there are worms in its belly. And I keep imagining them squirming around in there.”
Mike frowned at the visual. “I think we should stick to beef for dinner.”
“Cheeseburgers.” She nodded. “And milk shakes. Do you know they have beer-flavored milk shakes now?”
“I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“My mother loves them. Can’t get her to eat a piece of chicken but she can slurp down two beer milk shakes in less than twenty minutes.”
He listened to Ellis go on about her mother as they walked down the street, and for the first time in a long time he was perfectly content.
*
Ellis discovered that she really loved making Karen’s wedding dress. All the delicate white fabric, the intricate needlework, the skill she used to make the sketch come to life made her feel accomplished. Of course the dress was nowhere near done even though she had less than two and a half weeks to Karen’s wedding. Her finances were still dismal and she had more work than ever before, but she felt good. Happy even. She knew that changing the course of her life was the best thing she could have done.
“It’s going to be gorgeous,” Cherri said to her from the doorway of Ellis’s office. “Karen is going to cry when she comes in for her next fitting.”
“You mean like she cried at the last one?”
“Yeah.” Cherri smiled at her. “But way harder this time.”
“Remind me to stock up on tissues.”
“Will do.” Cherri fell silent for a moment, a tight look on her face.
“What is it, honey?” Ellis worried a little about her young employee. The girl never seemed to slow down.
“My grandmother.” She sighed. “She fell in the shower this morning. She’s fine but I keep thinking about what would have happened if I wasn’t there.”
“Go home, Cherri. Be with your grandmother.”
Her eyes widened. “But I’m supposed to work another two hours. You have so much sewing to do.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said truthfully. No job was more important than family. “Go home and don’t feel guilty. You deserve a little time off.”
“Yes, Cherri,” a deep voice said. “You do. I’ll help out around here.”
Mike appeared behind Cherri wearing a gray hooded sweatshirt with his alma mater plastered across the front. Ellis’s heart beat faster.
“You will?”
She was surprised to see him so soon after last night. They had spent three hours together, doing nothing but talking. It was one of the best dates of her life because it didn’t feel like a date. She felt like she was with an old friend that she was wildly attracted to. And that scared her. She knew she was falling hard and fast for this guy. She didn’t want to. It was too soon after Jack. This time in her life was supposed to be all about her. Plus she wasn’t sure how Mike felt about her. There were hundreds of reasons for her to stay away but there was only one reason she wouldn’t. He made her feel good. He made her feel like it was okay to be herself.
He nodded. “You could use some dumb muscle, couldn’t you?”
She nodded, feeling a little shy around him for the first time. “You don’t have to. I can manage here by myself.”
She barely noticed that Cherri had disappeared as Mike crossed the room. He stopped in front of her, pulling the lace out of her hands and pulling her body into his. “I’m here, Ellis. In a dress shop. There’s only one reason for this.”
She leaned in to kiss his cheek, hoping that her face didn’t betray how much his words affected her. “Admit it. You can’t live without me.”
“You wish.” He hugged her tighter, his face falling to the curve of
her neck. “What do you need me to do tonight?”
“This.” She slid her hands under his sweatshirt and rubbed his lower back. They had both gone home alone last night. Not because she wanted to. She had forgotten all about keeping some distance from him. But he didn’t ask her to be with him. He didn’t make a single move. He just softly kissed her good night and escorted her back to her store.
“How are you feeling today, Mikey? I was thinking about you.”
He froze, pulling slightly away so that he could look at her face.
“What?” she said self-consciously. She hadn’t meant to let the last sentence slip. She didn’t want to give away how close she was to falling for him.
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m good.” He shook his head and stepped completely away from her. “Put me to work, Ellie.”
She did put him to work, confused by their interaction. For two hours she watched him as he cleaned out the storeroom, updated her software, and made himself useful around the shop. He barely said two words to her or spared her more than a passing glance. At one point she was tempted to send him home. She wasn’t sure why he was there. Her shop was no longer the big mess it had been after the robbery. She didn’t need rescuing but she had the sneaking suspicion that his presence in her store had more to do with him than with her. It was as if he needed to be there. He needed to feel useful.
She knew part of him was a little lost. He was, like her in a way, at a crossroads in his life. But Ellis was sure she’d found the thing that would make her happy. She knew Durant was the place she wanted to spend the rest of her life, but he wasn’t there yet. He had no idea what to do with himself. It was another reason she should stay away. He could decide that Durant wasn’t the place he wanted to be. He could pick up and move tomorrow and she could be left a little in love with him.
“Who’s the guy, Ellis?”
She turned to look at Macy, one of her good customers, surprised she was so caught up staring at Mike that she didn’t hear her come in.
“Oh him? He’s … Just a friend. What can I help you with?”
“Well, I came in to see what kind of dresses you had on sale but I’d rather spend my time gawking at the man merchandise you’ve got on display.”
“I saw him first,” she said as she gave Macy a little push toward the dressing rooms. “I’ll bring you some dresses.”
*
“Would you like to have dessert with me?”
Mike came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist as she waited for Macy to finish dressing.
She kept herself rigid, a little stung by his behavior tonight.
Say no. You don’t need this bullshit right now.
But his lips grazed the back of her neck and she unwillingly relaxed a little.
“Say yes,” he urged. “And none of the bullshit about you not eating junk food on a weeknight.”
“We had cheeseburgers and milk shakes last night,” she said, feeling a little petulant.
“Say yes anyway.” He rested her chin on her shoulder.
“No.”
“But I worked hard tonight. I even got a paper cut cleaning up the disaster area you call a desk. See?” There was a tiny cut on his index finger. “You owe me.”
“Okay,” she said, hating that it took so little prodding to get her to cave. “You were helpful tonight. So helpful that I think you should quit your job and work as my shop boy.”
“Only if you agree to pay me in sex.”
She closed her eyes as not-so-clean thoughts flooded her mind. Thoughts of him running his hands all over her naked body, of his lips brushing against her nipples, of him stroking between her legs. Her face grew hot. If she was ever going to have a shot at escaping with her heart intact she needed to stop thinking that way.
Like that’s ever going to happen.
“Oh, honey, say yes.”
Ellis opened her eyes to see Macy staring at them with a huge grin on her face.
“Ellis didn’t tell me we weren’t alone,” he said. “But I’m Mike.” He extended his hand without removing his arm from around Ellis. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too. Listen, Ellis, I’m going to take the green dress and the black pants but I need both of them altered. I’ll come back tomorrow to get measured. You go enjoy dessert with your friend.”
A little while later they were in a booth at Hot Lava Java, sharing a warm decadent blueberry crumble topped with vanilla ice cream. It was the first time she had been back there since they had bumped into each other the first time. She was beginning to wonder if she could ever walk into this place and not think of him.
“I’m going to make love to whoever made this,” Ellis said, sighing with happiness as she licked her spoon.
“I made it,” Mike lied. “It took me all day.”
She raised a brow at him. “Prove it?”
“Can’t,” he shrugged. “I’m a cop. I got rid of all the evidence.”
“That’s too bad then.” She placed a big spoonful of ice cream in her mouth and let it melt on her tongue, watching Mike as he stared at her. He made her feel self-conscious and comfortable all at the same time.
Her phone rang. “You Drive Me Crazy,” by Britney Spears. It was Dina. She didn’t pick up. A little guilt seeped into her. She’d seen her sister two days ago and still hadn’t told her about Mike.
“What’s wrong, Ellie?”
“That was Dina. I haven’t told her about us yet.”
“Why not? We’re not a secret.”
His words surprised her. That was the last thing expected him to say. “She won’t like it. She says she really liked you.”
“I doubt it.” Mike dismissed her concern. “It was just a fling.”
She looked away. His words didn’t comfort her. Mike had no idea how Dina thought. He didn’t grow up the insecure wild child who needed to have everything for herself. Her father stopped coming around regularly when she was six. Only seeing her once or twice a year when he felt like it. And then when she was twelve he stopped coming around altogether. She had daddy issues and man issues and she never saw things from anybody else’s perspective. Ellis knew Dina well enough to know that this would upset her. Not because she wanted Mike so much but because Mike was the one who broke things off and now he was with the chubby little sister whom she thought wasn’t good enough for him in the first place.
He left his side of the table and slid in next to her. “Why do you seem so bothered by this? It was four years ago and if I remember correctly she tried to bang some guy in your bed while you were having a party.”
“What exactly would I tell her? That we slept together?”
“No.” He cupped her face in his hands. “You’re going to tell her that we are seeing each other and we’re going to keep seeing each other until we’re sick of each other.”
“That could happen very soon,” she said as she leaned in to kiss him. “I’m nearly sick of you already.” Her lips brushed his and as soon as they made contact she let all the reasons why they shouldn’t be together fly out of her head. She needed to stop overthinking things. She needed to let herself live in the moment. She needed to do what made her happy.
He moved to deepen the kiss but as soon as his mouth opened over hers they heard, “Hello, son.”
Mike’s body went rigid. Ellis turned to see the owner of the gravelly voice that had that kind of power over Mike.
Oh shit.
The man had black hair liberally streaked with strands of sliver and eyes a shade of blue that Ellis had only seen in one other place. He looked exactly like Mike.
His father!
Ellis turned back to Mike to see his face expressionless, but she could feel the angry heat rolling off him.
“Mike…” The man sat down across from them. “I came here to see you. We need to talk.”
“Well, Harry, that’s too bad. I stopped wanting to speak to you twenty years ago.” Mike gave a gentle push to the small of Ellis’s back. �
�Come on, Elle. I’d rather be someplace else.”
Ellis rose, looking from father to son. They shared the same mulish expression but Harry couldn’t hide his feelings as well as his son. Ellis didn’t know what had happened, didn’t know if the man was even worth Mike’s time, but she recognized the look in his eyes. Regret. Shame. Sadness. Mike didn’t seem to notice or care. He didn’t bother to spare his father another glance as he grabbed her hand and led her toward the door.
“Son, wait.”
“Don’t!” Mike stopped but didn’t turn around to face the man who gave him life. “You lost the right to call me son the day you walked out on us. Stay the hell away from me.”
Chapter Fourteen
He clearly remembered the day his father walked out. It was a Thursday. His mother and older sisters were at the flower shop preparing an order for a big wedding that was to take place that weekend. He was home alone with his baby sister, Janice, waiting for Harry to return from work. He was supposed to be there by four, home in time to feed them dinner and take Mike to baseball practice. Four o’clock came and went, and there was no sign of him. So he waited, put on his uniform, and made Janice a grilled cheese sandwich when she got hungry. Five o’clock rolled around. No Dad. Mike started to worry. Car accident, work mishap, something gone wrong? Not wanting to worry his sister, he went into his parents’ bedroom to use their phone to call the shop. But as he reached for the phone he spotted a yellow piece of legal pad paper on his mother’s pillow.
I’m sorry Margie. I can’t live like this anymore. I’m leaving. Please forgive me.
The bastard couldn’t bother to tell them in person. The coward couldn’t face them to tell them good-bye. It was the next day they learned he had nearly cleared out the checking accounts, only leaving them enough money to make it through the end of the year. At thirteen, Mike knew what it felt like to have love die. His father, his hero, walked out on them the day before his birthday. The day before they were supposed to cut work and school and spend the whole day away from the women who ruled the house. Instead he spent it watching his mother worry and his sisters cry. It was that day he vowed never to let anybody get that close, close enough to make him feel more than indifference when they left.