by K. Renee
He moves so quickly that I don’t have a chance to back away. His hand goes to my neck and I’m being pushed into the wall. Face to face, I stare into his eyes. He’s fighting with his emotions and I know it’s eating him alive right now. “I fuckin’ hate what you’ve done to us,” he finally whispers. Instead of responding, I close my eyes and suck in a breath.
When I open them again, I see the pain. “I love you.” I whisper. The timing is wrong, I know that, but if this is the last time I see him I won’t take of chance on him not knowing. I watch his expression change a few times. Love, anger, regret all flash through his expressions.
His grip on my throat tightens and he cuts off my air. He pushes me back into the wall and I just continue to watch him. Even with him cutting off my air, he doesn't scare me. The bad boy biker has nothing on the man underneath it all. He slowly releases his grip and I cough out a couple of breaths. Backing up from me, he shakes his head. He’s fighting with something in his head and I know that it has to do with me.
Rubbing my neck with my hand, I keep quiet and let him work it all out. He knows where I stand; now he needs to tell me where he stands. I just hope like fucking hell that I’m worth it to him.
When he comes back towards me, his words surprise me. “Fuck it.” His hands grip my face and he kisses me like it’s the last time. His fingers dig into the back of my head and he pulls me to him. His hands slide down my back and he grabs my ass, squeezing it roughly. We are all lips and teeth. His hands grab the bottom of my shirt and he rips it over my head, breaking our contact.
I grip the bottom of his tee and yank it up and over his head just as quick. His fingers start to work on my jeans and he gets them undone and starts to push them down my thighs. My dick is already hard and springs out of my jeans. I kick my shoes off to help him out and he drops to his knees before me. He takes me into his mouth quickly and runs his fingers around to my ass.
A finger slowly probes me before he pull back and spits on his hand. He gets back to sucking my dick and his finger slips into me. He doesn’t take his time like he normally does. This time it’s urgent. Suddenly, he stands back up to his full height and starts to undo his jeans. He pushes them down to his knees and spits on his hand to lube himself up.
When he’s done, he grabs my neck and pushes me back against the wall. His lips descend on mine and he’s kissing me like he’ starved. Spinning me around, he pushes my face into the wall. His hand on my back keeps me from moving. His other hand grabs my hip and he moves me where he wants me.
One slow thrust and he’s inside of me. The intrusion is painful but part of me gets off on the pain, almost like I deserve it for breaking his trust. His hand grabs the top of my hair and he pulls my head back, kissing his way down my neck as he picks up his pace behind me.
The feeling of him pounding into me hard from behind without the condom feels so fucking good. His piercing adds to the feeling and I’m glad we got checked. The force of his hips hitting my ass runs me into the wall. No words come of out his mouth and it stings. I know as soon as he gets off, he’s walking away. I knew it the moment I saw him in the bar with those twinks all over him. I’ve lost him.
I moan as the feeling of him taking me rough and hard. I’m on the edge and I know I’m going to come soon. He just feels too fucking good inside of me.
His grunts in my ear have me closing my eyes and just feeling it instead of trying to keep myself from falling apart.
Bracing my hands on the wall, he moves his hips so his thrusts hit my prostate. It doesn’t take long at this angle for me to fall apart. He grabs my arms and pulls me back into his body as I groan out my release, spraying my cum on the wall in front of me. It doesn’t take much more for him to come. His moan is low and I know this is it. He’s leaving.
Elijah rests his head on my shoulder for a second before he pulls out of me and starts to pull his jeans back up. I lean my forehead against the wall. I can’t watch him walk out that door. No fucking way. “Thanks for the fuck,” he states. He sounds pissed, but I ignore that. I get he’s mad. I don’t blame him really.
I hear him pull on his shirt and start to walk away. When the door opens, I hear his voice one last time. “I love you Spence.” Closing my eyes, I feel the tear slide down my cheek. The door closes softly behind me and I turn away from the wall. Sliding down the wall, I close my eyes and put my head in my hands. I hear the phone in my jeans ring, but I can’t bring myself to answer it. I don’t want to hear that I failed my team and I don’t want to hear Elijah tell me how much I hurt him. I rather just sit here on the floor of a dirty hotel room and pray that this was just a damn dream.
It takes a good hour before I’m able to pull my ass up and off the floor. The pain in my chest still hasn’t let up. The ache is constantly throbbing as I try to breath. My lifeline is gone. He walked away. Pulling my jeans back on, I grab my phone out of my pocket and see Canaan’s name on the screen. Hitting his contact, I wait for him to answer.
“Spence.” He says sounding out of breath.
“Hey.” I answer morosely. I don’t even feel like talking to him right now. Hell, I don’t feel like talking to anyone right now. I’d be okay just hiding out in my place until I can drink away the memory of Elijah.
“You need to –” The door to the room breaks apart as four men come rushing in wearing masks. One of them tasers me and I lose control of my arms and fall to my knees. I drop my phone somewhere on the shitty carpet before I pass out.
Waking up, I try to move my arms, but I remember what happened. Looking around the room, I see that I’m in a garage of some sort. Nothing looks familiar. I try to sit up, but I can’t. My hands are tied behind my back and my ankles are tied too. I’m on my shoulder and the pain that shoots through it is almost unbearable.
The door to the room opens and I see a few men shuffle inside. The door closes with a loud bang and I flinch at the ringing it causes in my ears. “Spencer Hart.” The voice brings chills to my spine. “You just couldn’t leave it alone, could you?” He steps out of the shadows and I see his face. The older gentleman standing in front of me is the head of the Souza Cartel. I’ve seen his picture everywhere when I was doing research on them earlier.
“Cat got your tongue?” He laughs. His laughter is more of a cackle and I feel my whole body tense. I’ve read about some of the things he’s done, but gotten away with. If he is behind my mother’s death, then I can only imagine what will happen to me.”
“You know son, I remember your mother. She was a real beautiful woman.” He runs his hand over his beard and then he takes a few steps closer to me. “It was a shame what had to be done.” He makes a tsk’ing noise before he squats down in front of me. “I didn’t expect you to be a fag.” A wicked grin creeps over his face and I see the craziness written all over his face. “I can’t wait to have my way with you.”
His hand reaches out to caress my face, but I turn my face. There is no way in hell I’ll let him touch me. Closing my eyes, I pray that Canaan can find me. He had to of heard what happened. Even if I die today, I at least got one more night with Elijah. He may never come looking for me again, but at least I heard him say the words that I’ve been dying to hear fall from his lips.
He loves me.
“I can only imagine what your boyfriend’s family will say when they find out that he’s a fag too.” He chuckles at himself and I just stare at him. “Bikers aren’t gay. Maybe they’ll put him down and I won’t have to worry about what you two gossiped about during pillow talk.” A finger reaches out towards my lips and I bite down on it.
His screams fill the small room and a gun comes down on the side of my face. My head hits the ground with a lot of force and I see stars from the impact. A fist comes down on my face next and I grunt out from the pain.
Blood starts to run down my forehead and into my eyes. “I’m going to find that bastard and kill him instead. How do you like that?” He stands up and kicks me in the stomach once before he starts towar
ds the door.
Once the door slams shut, I wipe my eye the best I can on my shoulder. Opening my eyes, I see that the room is completely bare. The walls look run down and the cement slab has stains all over it. I can only imagine what they use this room for.
He knows about Elijah. Fuck. We talked about it before, so I know what he hasn’t come out to his family and that he wasn’t going to. I hated his decision, but I also understood it to some extent. My father doesn’t know about me being gay either, but then again I haven’t spoken to him in years. I haven’t gotten a call that he’s died yet, so who knows what shape he’s in. Hell, I don’t even really care anyway.
I just wish there was something I could do for Elijah.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Leaving the way I did is eating away at me. I love him. No, I don’t. Shit, yeah I do. If I’m fucking honest with myself, I love him more than anything. Coming to a stop a couple miles outside of Las Vegas, I turn around and head back to the dump I left him in.
The whole ride my head is consumed with thoughts of him. Did he lie to me? Yeah. Do I believe that he just found out about me, maybe. There is too much shit running through my mind right now. I don’t know what to fuckin’ believe.
I make it back to the hotel faster than normal and I see his truck still sitting in the parking lot. Getting off my bike, I make my way towards the room and see the door busted in. Running the rest of the way to the room, I make my way inside and see words written on the wall above the headboard.
HE’S NEXT
My body tenses as I look around the room. I see his phone sitting on the ground and I see that there is a number still on the screen. Grabbing it off the ground, I put it close to my ear. “Who is this?” I bark out. There’s a slight pause before a voice comes on.
His rough voice fills the phone and I tense with his words. “So help me god if you are the one who took Spencer, I’ll find you and gut you.”
“Naw, I saw him earlier when he came to the bar and pushed the twinks off me, but he was still here when I left.”
“Elijah Insico.” I close my eyes at the mention of my name. Of course he knows who I am. He must be a Fed.
“I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing your name before I came back for Spence.” I grit out.
“I’m his partner, Canaan Devlin. We are on the way to the scene.” I curse under my breath.
“Yeah, then I’m not sticking around. You’re just going to pin this shit on me.” I hear voices in the background and I freeze. When his voice comes back on the line his words keep me glued to where I’m currently standing.
“Our boss will give you full immunity if you help us find him.” The words settle in the pit of my stomach. Help the Feds. The club will fuckin’ kill me if they found out I took a deal to save Spencer.
“Only if you give my whole family and club the same deal. I want it in writing too.” I hear them whispering to each other some more before he gets back on the line.
“Deal.” He breathes. “We will be there in a minute.” I set the phone down on the dresser in front of the bed and take a seat on the bed. This shit is going to be a fucking nightmare. Instead of hanging around with the blood on the wall, I walk out of the room just as they are pulling into the parking lot.
They all jump out of the SUV quickly and make their way towards me. “I’m Dixon Tate and I’m the leader of this task force. I know that you and Spencer were having a relationship.” His eyes scan over me and he motions to the men around him. “This is the rest of the team, Canaan Devlin, and Fox Harmon.”
Each man nods his head at me before they start to move towards the room. I follow behind them. As soon as they walk into the room, they freeze. The words on the wall are the only thing they are looking at.
“Do you know what this means?” The one in charge demands. I shake my head no and watch them all for a second. I don’t fucking trust them. There is no way in hell I’ll be doing anything to help them until I have the deal in writing. “You want that deal, then you better start fucking talking.” He growls.
I raise an eyebrow at him and stand my ground. There is no fuckin' way I’ll be letting a Fed tell me what to do. “I need the paper in my hand before I help you. I can find him on my own, without your help and get him back before you can even figure out who did this shit.” A grin pulls at my lips. They probably think I’m lying, but I’m not. I can get the information they are looking for, but I have to go to Prez to get it. I’m going to have to out myself to save Spencer’s life.
“I can’t get it right this second. I need to go to the higher ups.” He frowns.
“Then I can’t help you. I’m going to go and find him.” I state was I walk past them. All three of them look at me in shock and I know that they are pissed I’m not helping. I can’t jeopardize my club and family. They are all I have.
Making the drive back to the clubhouse, I think about what I’m going to say. My whole fuckin’ life is about to change and either they will accept me this way, or they won’t.
The minute I pull into the lot, I see a few of my brothers standing around bullshitting. Shit is just about to get cracking here and I know that most of the members are going to be around. Walking inside, I see my old man and brothers standing together. As I walk up, their heads turn towards me.
“Where the fuck have you been?” Seb grounds out. He’s pissed I left all of a sudden earlier and left him with River. She’s been slowly starting to get back to the girl she was before, but that’s only because we went after the fucker that the photos came from. I still don’t know who took them, but I will find out.
“I need to talk to you guys and Prez.” My old man eyes me for a second before he pulls his phone out and sends out a text.
“Let’s head inside.” He says motioning to the church doors. I follow behind them and I hear booted steps coming behind us. When I take my seat, I see Prez whispering something in Brant’s ear. He nods his head and sends out a text.
When the door shuts, I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the thing I’ve keep close to the vest for a number of reasons. Bikers aren’t gay. My family wouldn’t understand. My brother’s wouldn’t understand. People wouldn’t understand. Fuck.
“What’s going on kid? It’s not like you to request a sit down.” Prez says from the head of the table.
“I need some help finding someone.” I stop there because I don’t know exactly how to say the rest.
“Is it a woman you’ve claimed?” My old man asks this time. I shake my head no and they both frown. “Then who the fuck is it?”
“His name is Spencer.” Their faces scrunch up in confusion and I take a breath before I continue. “He…” Shit, I can’t do this. My phone starts to buzz in my pocket and I see a message from an unknown number.
Unknown: Let me help you. He’s my partner and I’ll do anything to help find Spence.
I look back at the men surrounding the table. My family, my brothers. “Spence and I have been seeing each other.” I finally push the words out of my mouth. Gasps fall from their mouths and when I look at my father, I see the disappointment written on his face. Biting the inside of my cheek, I try to focus on the problem at hand. “He’s been looking into the death of the bitch that was dumped on our doorstep. He’s a Fed.”
Sebastian stands up and pushes his chair back from the table. “That’s what you’ve been doing while I sit at your place taking care of River? You’ve been fucking a damn Fed!? Seriously, we have enough shit on our plates and this is what you bring us?” He doesn’t catch the part where I’m gay. Not yet. The rest of them did, because they are all sitting there staring at me like they have no idea who I am.
“This Spencer guy…” My old man says quietly. I look over at him and see him trying to figure it out. “He means something to you?”
“Yeah, I love him.” I choke out. If their looks could kill me, I’d be six feet under already. “I think the Souza Cartel is behind it.” I try to get their attention off the fac
t that I’m gay and in love with a man that’s a Fed.
“How long have you two been together?” Prez’s voice is dark and I know why he’s asking. He wants to know how long I’ve been feeding him information about the club to him.
“Couple months, but I’ve never once told him who I was. He just found out today.” I take a breath before I continue. “He never got any information from me. I wouldn’t put the club at risk. I broke things off with him when I found out who he was.” I look down at my hands and close my eyes. If I hadn’t left him there, this shit wouldn’t be happening right now.
“What do you want us to do?” Brant says from beside me. All heads turn to him and he doesn’t take his eyes off me.
“Brant.” Our old man says, but Brant holds his hand up.
“Do you get how fucking hard that must have been for him to admit that shit to us? He’s gay, not stupid. You taught us better.” Before he can continue, the door opens and Dom, Bentley and Robbie walk in the door. The take their seats around the table and all eyes are back on me.
“Fill us in.” Dom says from his seat. His eyes move around the table and I see the questioning look on his face when he looks back at me.
Sighing, I just say the words. “I’m gay.” Their eyes widen and I push back from the table. I start to pace behind the table and I see the looks on their faces. They don’t accept it, but I expected that. Before anyone can ask any questions, Brant saves me again.
“Can we get back to that later? Spencer?” He says more as a question. I nod my head and he continues, “He’s been taken. We need to get him home.” My phone dings again and when I sneak a glance it’s the unknown number again.
Clicking the message I see that he’s here. Fuck. Just what I fuckin’ need. More fuckin' shit to deal with.
“His partner is here. He wants the same thing I do.” I state. All eyes on me narrow except for Dom and Brantley.