Enemies and Traitors: The Norsemen's War: Book One - Teigen and Selby (The Hansen Series 1)

by Kris Tualla

  Minnesota. Wisconsin. Iowa. They said the names as if trying to make them feel familiar, welcoming, comfortable.

  “But you’re going back?” The woman stared at Selby while their supper dishes were cleared. “Why?”

  “I’m a lieutenant in Milorg,” she explained to her shocked tablemates. “I was brought here to recuperate after I was—I was severely beaten in the streets of Trondheim. By a Nazi officer.”

  “Are you an actress?” the man beside her asked. “I heard something like that on the resistance radio.”

  “Yes.” The fact that she looked so different now made her suddenly self-conscious. “With the Royal Shakespearean Acting Troupe.”

  Another man across the table stared at her. “I’ve seen them perform. A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Which part was yours?”

  Selby wanted to sink through the floor. She felt her cheeks burning. “Titania.”

  “The lead?” He frowned. “What’d you say your name is?”

  Under the table Teigen’s hand moved to rest on her thigh. The heat of his palm seemed to ground her. She glanced at him and flashed a tiny smile of acknowledgement.

  “Selby Sunde.” Out of long-standing habit she never introduced herself as Selby Hovland. “You’re used to seeing me in a blonde wig.”

  The man snapped his fingers. “That’s right! Now I recognize you!”

  The first woman looked confused. “Are you an actress or Milorg?”

  “Both,” Teigen answered before Selby could. “The entire troupe is Milorg, and we pass information and supplies as we travel up and down the west coast.”

  “And what about you?” the woman asked Teigen.

  “I was a high school chemistry teacher in Oslo before I was arrested. After I was released from the Kirkenes labor camp a little over a year ago I joined Milorg and the troupe. I work backstage, and I arm Nazi desks to explode.”

  As the attention focused on Teigen’s startling succession of statements Selby sat back and helped herself to the Christmas biscuits and cookies that were set on the table. She knew him well enough to know that he had no love for the spotlight.

  What he had just done was take a figurative bullet and pulled the uncomfortable scrutiny away from her.

  Now her palm moved to his thigh.

  His glance slid to hers and he smiled.

  “Well, at least you have each other,” the woman said to Teigen after the initial hubbub calmed somewhat. “And your beautiful wife is a very lucky woman.”

  Chapter

  Thirty Five

  Selby stiffened. “He’s—”

  “Thank you,” Teigen cut her off and his hand clamped over hers under the table. “I happen to agree with you.”

  What the hell was he doing?

  She dug her nails into his thigh, gripping the muscle like a claw. He pulled her hand away and stood.

  “While we have enjoyed the time, I don’t want Selby to tire herself. She needs to be completely recovered before we sail.”

  Selby glared up at him as he pulled her chair back. “Ready?”

  Realizing that her reputation still mattered, Selby stood and smiled sweetly at their tablemates. “Happy Christmas.”

  Teigen took her arm and guided her from the room.

  Selby rounded on him in the factory hallway. “Explain yourself!”

  Teigen’s jaw was set. “Let’s go somewhere private.”

  Selby turned and headed for the elevator. “There are unused offices on the second floor.”

  Tense silence filled the elevator car as it rumbled creakily to the second level. When the doors opened Selby turned away from the medical ward and headed down a dim hallway until she reached the first door.

  Inside the office she flipped on the light. Fluorescent lights blinked to harsh life above them. Selby planted her feet and crossed her arms.

  “Okay. Talk.”

  Teigen crossed to the dusty desk and sat on it. His eyes were now level with hers. “There is something that I wanted to speak with you about before we leave the island.”

  “What?”

  Teigen squinted at the lights on the ceiling. “This isn’t the setting I imagined.”

  Selby huffed. “Just say it.”

  Teigen’s green eyes rested on hers. He looked as if he was steeling himself against her coming response.

  “Will you marry me, Selby?”

  She was struck momentarily speechless. She should have guessed this was coming, but…

  “I am deeply in love with you,” Teigen said, filling the deserted office with his words. “And I almost lost you. This life is too precarious for me to believe we can safely wait for another chance.”

  Selby found her voice, though it was nearly strangled by the lump in her throat. “You don’t want me.”

  “But I do.”

  “No…” Selby couldn’t look him in the eye. “I’m… broken.”

  She heard Teigen breathing. She waited.

  “I know you don’t trust men in general,” he said finally. “But I think you’ll agree that I’ve proven myself to be extremely trustworthy.”

  “You have,” she said to the floor.

  “So what’s broken?”

  “Me,” she whispered.

  Teigen’s knuckle slid under her chin and tipped her head up toward his. “How are you broken, Selby?”

  Tears blurred his handsome face. “If I tell you, then nothing between us will ever be the same.”

  “If that means you’ll be my wife, then I’ll be satisfied.” His eyes pinned hers. “Tell me.”

  “You won’t want to marry me anymore.”

  “Try me.”

  Selby desperately wanted to tell Teigen about her past. And just as desperately she wanted to believe he would still want to marry her after he heard her story.

  Because I love him, too.

  But what if it ruined everything?

  *****

  Teigen watched Selby carefully. Whatever had happened to her, or whatever she had done, didn’t matter to him. For over a year he had lived and worked by her side, and he knew what sort of woman she was.

  And he knew that he didn’t want to live the rest of his life without her.

  She seemed to come to a decision. “I need to sit down.”

  Teigen got off the desk and walked around behind it. He pulled the wooden desk chair forward and placed it in the center of the office. Then he flipped the little metal trash can upside down and sat on it in front of her.

  He took one of her hands and gently massaged it. “When you’re ready,” he said softly.

  Selby watched his ministrations as if in a daze. “This is terrifying.”

  “I’m here with you, remember? I’ll protect you,” he assured her.

  She did look at him then. “You can’t change the past.”

  “No,” he admitted. “But I can change the future.”

  After pulling a ragged sigh of resolution, Selby started her tale. “My father died in the Great War and the man my mother married afterwards was as cruel and perverted as any Nazi. I always hid in my closet when he raged at her.”

  Teigen turned her hand over and rubbed her wrist. “What was that like?”

  “He always accused her of sleeping with Russians, for some reason. And he threatened to kill her.”

  “As a child, I’m sure you thought he might actually do it.”

  Selby nodded, watching the movement of his fingers over her skin. “So I prayed that God would strike him dead.”

  “How long did this last?”

  “When I was twelve or thirteen I started stepping between him and my mother.”

  Teigen wagged his head. “I can’t imagine he was happy about that.”

  “No.”

  “Did he turn on you?”

  A full minute passed before Selby uttered the tiny word, “Yes.”

  Teigen set her hand down and lifted the other. “Did he rape you?”

  *****

  His tone was no more int
ense than if he had asked if she wanted coffee or tea with supper. But somehow that matter-of-fact tone unlocked a deep-seated and violent fury inside her.

  “No. But I think what he did was worse.” Her voice hardened along with her determination. If Teigen really wanted to hear about her past, then she wasn’t going to hold back.

  You’ll see.

  And then you’ll know I’m right.

  “Whenever I stopped him from beating my mother his rage turned into lust. He dragged me to my bedroom and threw me on the floor. He stripped me from the waist down. Then he opened his pants.”

  The words were gushing out of her like a dam had broken. “He used his hands on me while he pleasured himself. He was rough and mean, but he slapped me if I made any sound. He said I was trying to make him to have sex with me.”

  Teigen watched her silently, all the while rubbing her wrist and then moving up her arm.

  “He always said exactly the same thing: I know what you want, bitch, but I won’t let you give me the clap, you filthy whore.” She still could hear the rasp of his sneering taunt. “I think sometimes he started up with my mother hoping I would interfere.”

  The muscle in Teigen’s jaw rippled, but his expression remained calm. “And your mother?”

  “She tried to stop me from getting into it with him, and then she tried to stop him from hurting me. All that got her were multiple broken noses and teeth.” Selby reflexively touched her own damaged nose. “I finally couldn’t take it anymore. I ran away when I was fifteen.”

  “I don’t blame you.” Teigen switched hands again. “From what you’ve said before, I assume your mother is no longer alive.”

  Selby shook her head. “A month after I left, that man shot her and then himself.”

  He hummed a sympathetic sigh. “I’m so sorry, Sel.”

  “I went back to the house and cried for a week.” Fresh grief rolled down her cheeks. “I kept thinking that if I had stayed then he wouldn’t have killed her.”

  Teigen stopped the massage but he still held her hand. He looked at her sadly. “You know that’s not true, don’t you. He probably would have killed both of you.”

  That thought had occurred to her. Selby wiped her cheeks. “You might be right.”

  “Is that everything?”

  “Except that I stole everything I could use or pawn from the house before I left the second time.”

  “It wasn’t stealing,” Teigen countered. “You were collecting your inheritance.”

  “And then…” She drew a steadying breath. “I burned the house down.”

  *****

  Teigen was actually relieved. His worst-case expectation was that Selby had been raped multiple times.

  He let go of her hands and looked her in the eye. “Let me see if I understand your situation: you were beaten and attacked by a madman multiple times, you ran away to save your own life, and using what you could scavenge from your own home, you started a new life?”

  Selby looked confused. “Y—yes. And I burned the house down.”

  “It was your house.”

  “But—”

  “There wasn’t anyone inside?” Teigen clarified.

  She frowned. “Of course not.”

  Teigen shrugged. “Then you had every right to do whatever you wanted with it.”

  Selby stared at him. “Are you insane?”

  “Nooo,” he said slowly. “I don’t think so.”

  “Did you listen to what I said?” she snapped. “I burned a house down!”

  Teigen watched her carefully. “It all could have been so much worse for you than it was. You could have been raped or killed. Or did I get part of this wrong?”

  Her mouth opened, then closed. Finally, “No—I guess not.”

  “Good.” He gave her an encouraging look. “Now explain the broken part.”

  “What?” she snapped.

  “You said you’re damaged but—unless there’s more that you haven’t told me—you’re still a virgin?”

  “Physically. Yes.” She looked angry. “But he ruined me.”

  Teigen was honestly confused by that. “I don’t understand.”

  “People who get married have sex.”

  He nodded. “That’s usually the case.”

  Selby smacked her palm against her chest. “I can’t let a man touch me in that way without being revolted.”

  “Have you tried?” The question was sincere. “Have you had a boyfriend before?”

  “No!” Selby stood suddenly and circled behind her chair. Her white-knuckled fingers gripped its back. “There’s no point, is there? Because I already know what will happen.”

  Teigen remained perched on his wastebasket-cum-stool and looked up at her. “You’re a grown woman now, Selby. Not a frightened little girl.”

  “No, Teigen—I am a frightened little girl!” she cried. “Don’t you understand that? I’ll always be!”

  “I understand your words, but they don’t make sense to me.” He hesitated a moment before bringing up the dangerous subject. “What about when you were with the German officers?”

  *****

  Selby straightened. “How dare you!”

  Teigen jumped to his feet. “Don’t misunderstand me—I’m not suggesting you did anything wrong!”

  “Then what?”

  “When you were plying them for information. Didn’t they touch you?” Teigen’s face grew violently red. Obviously he was embarrassed by his own question.

  She jammed her hands on her hips. “Of course they did. It was part of the ruse. But I never let it go far.”

  “Were you revolted?” he pressed.

  “Every single minute!”

  Who wouldn’t be?

  “That makes sense…” Teigen stood. He dragged his fingers through his hair and walked a jerky circle around the desk while Selby watched him.

  Frustrated by his silence she demanded, “Do you have something else to say?”

  “I do.” He looked at her, his expression pensive. “I’m putting it together.”

  “Well hurry up. I’m getting tired.” Selby walked the rest of the way around her chair and dropped back into the seat. She crossed her arms and her legs tightly.

  “Okay. Hear me out. Promise?” Teigen looked so hopeful that she couldn’t deny him.

  “Fine.”

  He perched back on top of the little metal wastebasket. He looked so ridiculous that if their discussion wasn’t so intense she might have laughed.

  “You have only had sexual contact with two kinds of men: your violent stepfather and your worst enemy.” Teigen paused. When she didn’t answer him, he prompted, “Isn’t that right?”

  Unsettled by the question, she tried to explain. “I was able to lead the German bastards on because at that point I believed that all men were like the man my mother married.”

  I’ll never call him my stepfather.

  Teigen pounced like a bird on a worm. “At that point?”

  “Ugh!” she grunted angrily. “Yes. You’ve shown me differently. Satisfied?”

  “Very.” Thankfully Teigen didn’t grin. If he had, she might have slapped it right off his face.

  He readjusted his weight on the creaking wastebasket in preparation before launching his next volley. “Has it ever occurred to you that the element of attraction was absent from every single one of those encounters?”

  Damn it.

  She unfolded her arms to plead with him. “I see where you’re going, but—”

  He stuck a stiff finger in her face. “No buts! You promised to hear me out.”

  “I know, but—”

  “Selby.” His stern tone silenced her.

  She pressed fisted hands into her lap. “Keep your finger out of my face.”

  Teigen retracted the offending digit then leaned toward her. “Have you ever in your life been physical with a man you were attracted to?”

  Her pulse surged. She felt her cheeks tighten.

  “Selby?” he said s
oftly. “Tell me the truth.”

  “You know the answer.”

  He shrugged. “Even if I do, you need to say it out loud.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

  “Because then you and I will be starting from the same place.”

  Starting?

  “Starting what?”

  His brow twitched and she saw his heart displayed across his features as clearly as if the words I love you were tattooed on his forehead. “Starting our life together.”

  He still…

  Don’t get your hopes up.

  Selby swallowed thickly. “No. I have never in my life been physical with a man I was attracted to.”

  A slow and sultry smile spread over Teigen’s face. “Then it’s time.”

  Chapter

  Thirty Six

  Selby blinked. “What?”

  Teigen rose from his awkward seat, moved it aside, and sat on the desktop again. He stretched a hand toward Selby.

  “Come here.”

  She couldn’t move. Whatever was about to happen here, in this dingy deserted factory office on a foreign island in the middle of the North Sea during a world-wide war, was going to define the rest of her life.

  “I’m scared,” she admitted.

  Teigen looked at her so kindly it hurt. “There’s nothing to be scared of.”

  “Yes there is.”

  His hand didn’t move. “What?”

  “That nothing changes.” Selby bit her lower lip and watched him.

  He gave her a small, reassuring smile. “But it will.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “But I do.”

  Still planted in the wooden chair, Selby shook her head. “You can’t.”

  “I can.” Teigen motioned with the extended hand. “Let me show you.”

  Selby realized that to remain in the chair, unmoving, was stupid. Nothing in her fraught life had kept her from making brave choices until now and this was yet another one.

  “We’ll still be friends, no matter what?”

  Teigen’s brow smoothed. “I expect to be by your side for the rest of our lives.”