Going, Going, Gone: Suzie's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

"Oh, hey, Christy called last night. She made it to California in one piece and moved into her apartment."

  "That's awesome. I'm glad she's getting settled."

  They talked a bit more about Christy, but then Marlee said she needed to hang up in order to concentrate on the road. Susie hung up reluctantly. She rubbed her eyes wondering if the voice she thought she heard had been her imagination. Maybe it had been the radio. But why didn't Marlee just say it was the radio, or someone in the next car, or whatever?

  Her phone rang again jolting her out of her spiraling depression. "What's up, Sam?" There was no enthusiasm in her voice.

  "Oh, that's nice. You sound like you lost your best friend."

  Susie sighed. "I just talked to Marlee on the phone."

  "You just talked to Marlee?"

  "Yeah, I think she might be interested in that Bree girl."

  "Bree? Who's that?" Sam sounded perplexed.

  "That Southbridge pitcher."

  "Oh, yeah," Sam said. "I saw her hanging around the field today."

  "See?"

  "I'm coming over."

  "Why?"

  "You need cheering up," Sam said. "I'll meet you in your room."

  "I'm in the basement."

  "Just go to your room."

  "Why?"

  "Just go," Sam demanded. "I don't want to go into that yucky basement."

  "Okay, fine. Whatever." Susie thought Sam was acting really weird. Maybe there was some truth to Bree turning Marlee's head. Maybe Sam, good friend that she was, wanted to break it to her gently. "I'll see you in a few." Susie made her way up the basement stairs.

  "Ciao." Sam hung up.

  "Mami," Susie called, "I'm taking a break in my room for a minute. Sam's coming over."

  "Not too long," her mother called back from her bedroom where she was organizing her closet. Apparently, watching Susie work so hard had motivated her as well.

  "Okay." Susie was too tired to really care, but she'd have to make sure Sam didn't stay too long.

  Susie trudged up the stairs to her room and washed her hands and face in the bathroom. She was about to throw herself on her bed in exhaustion when she noticed the rose quartz on the rock shelf. She held it up to the light and thought about Marlee. She gripped it tightly in her hand letting misery wash over her. She crumpled onto the bed, her back to the door, and tried not to think about Marlee alone with Bree.

  After a while, she heard the unmistakable sound of Sam's Sebring pulling in to the driveway. The car door opened and then shut, but Susie didn't bother to roll over. Sam knew the way to her room and would let herself in. Susie stroked the smooth surface of the quartz she still held in her hand. "Marlee, don't break my heart."

  "I won't."

  Susie bolted upright off the bed. "You'd better not be a hallucination." She raced into Marlee's open arms. She kissed her lips and then held her face so she could kiss every square inch of it. "What are you doing here? How did you--" She glanced out the window toward the house.

  "Don't worry. They don't know I'm here. Sam went inside to keep your parents occupied and to give us some alone time. I snuck out of her car and then up here."

  "I didn't even hear you." Susie drank in Marlee like she hadn't seen her in months instead of days. "I thought you were on your way home."

  "No," Marlee smiled and pulled Susie closer, "we just made you think that. I was in Sam's car when I called you."

  "That was Sam's voice I heard?"

  Marlee nodded.

  "Not Bree?"

  Marlee shook her head. "Susie, I'm not interested in Bree. She keeps calling me, at least twice a day, sometimes more, but I keep blowing her off. I told her not to call so much, that my mom needed the phone for business." She ran a finger down Susie's cheek. "I want to be with my latina girlfriend, Susana. Perhaps you've heard of her? Gorgeous girl, woman actually, with long brownish-reddish hair and biceps like granite?"

  Susie put her arms around Marlee's waist. "Never heard of her, but you can be with me if you want."

  "I want." Marlee pointed to the bed. "We've got five minutes, tops. Let's not waste it."

  Susie's growl came from somewhere deep within. She grabbed Marlee's hand and pulled. Susie flopped on the bed and pulled Marlee on top of her. If her mother found Marlee there, especially like this on the bed with her, Susie was sure she'd be dead meat or worse. But at that moment she didn't care.

  Marlee nestled herself on top of Susie and began stroking her face. She leaned down to kiss Susie's cheek and then kissed her way to an ear. She suckled the delicate skin of Susie's earlobe and then kissed her way along Susie's jaw line to repeat the torture on the other earlobe.

  Susie, meanwhile, stroked Marlee's back and let her hands reach just above Marlee's butt. Oh, how she wanted to reach lower, grab two handfuls, and press Marlee against her, but Marlee was in charge, and she couldn't rush her. Susie's breathing got heavier as Marlee's lips trailed a path along the soft skin of her neck. She couldn't stand it any longer and pulled Marlee front and center for a full kiss on the lips. Marlee moaned which sent Susie's stirred up libido into overdrive. Taking charge, she grabbed Marlee by the waist and then with one swift move, flipped her over and scrambled on top. She strategically placed her thigh where Marlee would appreciate it most and applied a little pressure. Marlee's moan meant she'd hit the mark.

  Susie kissed the same path Marlee had taken. She revered Marlee's sweet chiseled face as she went, but didn't stop there. She kissed her way down Marlee's neck trailing kisses along her collar bone, Marlee's moans spurring her on. She was just about to pull Marlee's shirt collar lower so she could kiss the sensitive skin there, when Sam's voice in the driveway stopped her.

  "Okay, Mr. Torres, I'll tell her. It was nice to see you all again."

  Susie heard the mudroom door slam and then Sam's footsteps on the driveway heading toward the garage.

  Susie stopped her trail of kisses and groaned. "Aay! There's never enough time."

  Marlee smiled sadly. "I know. We'll more than make up for it next time we're alone."

  Susie pushed herself off of Marlee and then helped her sit up. They sat on the bed and laughed as Sam made her presence known. She stomped on the bottom stair and called up loudly. "Susie, are you home? It's me, Sam. I'm coming up the stairs now. One," bam she pounded her foot on the stair, "stair," bam, "at a time." Bam, bam, bam. "Okay, I'm at your door." She stood on the other side, but didn't open it.

  "Sam," Susie laughed, "it's okay. Come on in."

  "Okay," Sam opened the door, let herself in, and shut it quickly. She smiled at Marlee and then at Susie. "I wish I could have given you more time."

  "I'm happy for the time we got." Susie snuggled against Marlee. "Thanks for smuggling in my girlfriend."

  "See? I told ya I had your back." Sam sat in the desk chair. "I just couldn't tell you I was bringing Marlee here, because, well, you'd get all goofy and then your mother would know."

  "I would not get goofy," Susie protested.

  Sam raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

  "Okay, whatever." Susie rolled her eyes for Marlee's benefit. "Isabella has amazing mind-reading skills."

  As if to prove Susie's point, they froze when they heard the mudroom door open in the main house. The sound of short quick footsteps on the driveway had Susie on her feet immediately. "Shit! It's my mother. What do we do? What do we do?" She searched her room frantically for somewhere to stash Marlee in case her mother came up the stairs.

  The outside garage door opened and the quick steps were on the stairs.

  Susie sprang into action and pushed Marlee toward the closet. "Get in," she hissed. Thank God Marlee didn't protest. "Hide behind my clothes in case she opens the door."

  Marlee's eyes grew wide in disbelief, but she didn't protest. Susie closed the door just as her mother jerked the bedroom door open and marched past the weight set toward Susie. Susie leaned against the closet door trying desperately not to telepathically give away that the love of her
life was hiding in the closet. She casually pushed off the door and headed back to sit on her bed hoping to divert her mother's attention.

  As soon as she sat on the bed, she regretted the decision. Did the bed look tumbled, like she'd been rolling around with somebody on it? She resisted the urge to fix her hair, fearful that she had bed head, and totally give herself away.

  "Susana, I also need you to get some groceries at Stewart's."

  "Stewart's?" Susie had no idea what her mother was talking about.

  "Oh," Sam said to Susie's mother, "I didn't get a chance to tell her." She turned toward Susie. "Your dad wants you to take all the garbage from the basement to the Waste Management place."

  Her mother threw up her hands. "He insisted you do it today. I told him you weren't done yet, but, you know men." She looked at Sam who was trying not to break out laughing. "They get something in their head, and you can't stop them." She turned back to Susie. "So, as soon as Sam leaves, get the trash out of the basement."

  "Sí, claro." Susie hated the way her voice sounded so meek. Marlee must think she was a sniveling coward in front of her mother. Which she kind of was.

  "Get milk, eggs, and butter."

  Susie sprang off the bed and grabbed a pad and pen from her desk. She wrote down the list with a shaking hand. "Anything else?"

  Her mother remained quiet for a moment. Susie's heart beat so loudly she was sure everyone could hear it. C'mon, Mami, I can't take this.

  "No," her mother said, "that's all I can think of. Bring your cell phone in case I think of anything else."

  "Okay."

  "And you go nowhere else." She poked the air with a finger to solidify her point. "Just to Waste Management and then to Stewart's."

  "Yes, Mami."

  Her mother turned on her heels and headed toward the door when the unthinkable happened. There was a noise in the closet. "What was that?" Her mother whirled around.

  Sam sprang to her feet and pointed to the ceiling. "Are those squirrels back, Susie?"

  "What squirrels? You never told me about squirrels." Her mother looked up where Sam was pointing.

  Susie couldn't help the look of panic on her face. She tried to act natural, but saw her life flashing before her eyes as the seconds ticked on.

  "Susana," her mother put a hand on her hip. "What's going on?"

  "Nothing, Mami. I promise." She swallowed guiltily and knew her mother saw it. "The squirrels sometimes--" Susie didn't get to finish her sentence because there was a shout from the driveway.

  "Mami, oww!" Miguel's baby-voice called. "I hurt myself."

  Susie's mother flew to the door and down the stairs in an instant. Susie raced to the window to see what had happened. Her brother Miguel sat on the driveway clutching his ankle in obvious pain, but when he saw his sister at the window, he flashed her a conspiratorial smile. The downstairs garage door flew open, and his smile was gone instantly.

  "Mami," Miguel cried, laying it on thick, "I fell off my skateboard." He pointed to the skateboard lying on its side nearby.

  "Dios mío," Susie whispered to Sam, "he's a good actor."

  "Is he hurt?" Sam stood by Susie's side watching the events unfold on the driveway.

  "No, he's totally faking."

  "Why?"

  "I think he's helping me." Susie headed to the closet door. "Watch for my mother, okay?"

  Sam nodded and looked out the window. "The brat is actually helping you?" She clutched her chest. "Hell must be freezing over."

  Susie nodded with a grin. She opened the closet door.

  Marlee eased herself out from behind the clothes. "Is she gone?" Susie nodded. "I'm so sorry. Some boxes fell as soon as you shoved me in here, and I was holding them up the whole time, until--"

  "It's okay, mi vida. It's okay." Susie stroked Marlee's face. "I'm so sorry I had to put you back in the closet." Susie grinned, hoping Marlee would chuckle at her pun, which she graciously did. Right then, Susie vowed to the universe that she would somehow, someway convince her mother that God wouldn't strike the family down dead if her daughter loved a girl. She didn't know what would be worse--her mother's anger or God's lightning bolt. Susie shivered. Anyone who knew Isabella Maria de Fatima Torres knew the answer.

  "Are you okay, Sweetie?" Marlee put a protective arm around her.

  "Yeah." She almost melted in the compassion she saw in Marlee's eyes, knowing she probably didn't deserve it.

  Sam cleared her throat. "Uh, guys, I think this may be our only chance to get Marlee out of here. Your mother is heading into the house with a limping Miguel."

  "Okay, let's give them two more minutes."

  Marlee and Sam nodded.

  "Where am I gonna meet you?" Susie said with a grin. It wasn't a question of if she were going to meet up with them, but where.

  "Back at Sandstoner Fields," Sam said. "I left Lisa there watching a little league girls' softball practice. I'll drive her home, okay? That way you two can take your time doing whatever."

  "Perfect, but it's gonna take me a few minutes to haul the garbage out of the basement and stuff it in my trunk, so wait for me. Okay?"

  They both nodded. Sam looked at her watch and said to Marlee, "Ready?"

  Marlee nodded, and she and Sam snuck toward the stairs ready to make a run for it.

  Chapter Ten

  For Real

  MARLEE HELD THE plastic basket over her arm as Susie placed a gallon of milk alongside the eggs and butter.

  "Is that too heavy?" Susie asked, ready to relieve Marlee of the basket.

  Marlee shook her head, but used her other hand to balance the weight. "C'mon, let's look around the store. I need some chips."

  They strolled down the short aisles of the Stewart's convenience store side-by-side. Susie wished they could hold hands or even link arms, but she wasn't brave enough for such public displays of affection. Someday maybe, but not yet.

  "You must be starving after the game," Susie said.

  Marlee shrugged. "A little, but nothing a good Lay won't cure."

  Susie looked at Marlee in disbelief.

  Marlee smiled mischievously and reached for a bag of Lay's potato chips.

  Susie laughed. "You're crazy." But there it was again. That smile. The one that promised everything would be okay. She could live her entire life waiting for that smile.

  Marlee put the potato chips in the basket and looked sidelong at Susie. "I want to do this for real someday."

  "Do what for real?"

  "Shop. With you. For our home. For us."

  Susie melted on the spot. "Aay, Dios mío, me, too. Can you imagine us married in a big old house? Just us?"

  "It's possible, now that gay marriages are legal in New York."

  "I know. Somebody needs to tell my mother that."

  Marlee smiled. Her eyes were sympathetic. "So who's gonna mow the lawn?"

  "We'll take turns. Who's gonna cook?"

  Marlee laughed. "Uh, well, I'd really like to say we'll take turns, but you'd end up with grilled cheese sandwiches and chicken noodle soup every night. That or peanut butter and jelly."

  "Okay, I'll cook," Susie said firmly. "You'll want a cat, won't you?"

  Marlee nodded as if that particular issue would be a deal-breaker. "You?"

  "I do now."

  "Good. C'mon, let's get out of here."

  Susie paid for the groceries, including Marlee's potato chips and two bottles of Stewart's cream soda, one for each of them, and they headed back to the car. She put the groceries in the empty trunk. The trunk had been full when she went to the landfill, but thanks to Marlee's help, she was able to unload it all quickly. She unlocked the passenger door of her car for Marlee and held it open for her. "Thanks for helping me with that stuff at the Waste Management place."

  "You mean the dump?" Marlee reached over and unlocked Susie's door.

  Susie jumped in. "Oh, c'mon. 'Waste Management' sounds so much nicer than 'dump,' but, yeah, you're right. It's just the dump."


  Susie said a little prayer to the universe that her car would start, and it happily did on the first turn of the key. She didn't let on to Marlee that there might have been a chance they'd be stranded. She didn't want anything to ruin the stolen moments they were sharing. With her recent incarceration, she had gained perspective and knew that every moment she had with Marlee and with her friends was to be cherished.

  "I'm sorry I have to take you back to your van."

  "Me, too."

  Susie leaned over and gave Marlee a quick kiss. She put the car in reverse.

  Marlee pointed out the driver's side window past Susie. "Look at that lady staring at us."

  Susie stepped on the brake. "Where?" Her eyes flew open wide, and she looked away quickly. "Shit!" she muttered under her breath. She backed the car out of the lot as quickly as she dared, threw it into drive, and headed back onto C.R. 62. "That was Mrs. Johnson. And she saw us. She saw me kiss you. And now my mother's gonna find out." Susie pounded the steering wheel. "I'm dead meat."

  "Mrs. Johnson? The lady that fired you?"

  Susie nodded and let out a sigh that ended with a frustrated groan. When would her life ever be her own? When could she stop worrying about who saw her where and with whom? When could she stop worrying about what other people thought?

  "Hey," Marlee reached for Susie's hand and held it tight. "Someday it'll be just you and me, and we won't have to worry about who sees us, or who knows."

  Susie let herself be consoled. There wasn't much she could do about it anyway. She glanced at Marlee. "I hope that's true because I can't keep going on like this. Something's gotta give somewhere."

  By the time Susie pulled her car into the parking lot at Sandstoner Fields, she had calmed down and decided that she wasn't going to let Mrs. Johnson or anybody else invade her precious time with Marlee. The parking lot was half-full, because of the little league softball practice in progress on the field. Susie smiled at the elementary school-aged girls playing the game she loved. She'd only been grounded for a week so far, but she severely missed playing ball with her friends.

  "Hey, look," Marlee pointed, "there's something under my windshield wiper. Oh, man, I hope it's not a parking ticket."