Going, Going, Gone: Suzie's Story

by Barbara L. Clanton

  They said their goodbyes to her family, and the four friends headed to the parking lot in a dazed silence.

  Sam broke the stillness. "What just happened?"

  Susie didn't miss a beat. "I think hell has officially frozen over."

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Hunger

  MARLEE AND SUSIE sat in the van on their way to Marlee's house. They passed by the Valero gas station just outside of Clarksonville that Susie had walked to the night her car had run out of gas.

  "Aay," Susie said watching it go by from the passenger seat, "I'm so glad you and your mom came to get me that night. I don't know what I would have done."

  Marlee glanced at Susie. "I'm glad you were okay."

  "I'd like to erase that whole night from my memory."

  Marlee shot Susie a sympathetic smile. "I was floored when your mom invited me to dinner on Saturday."

  "I don't know what's happening." Susie laughed. "My dad must have talked some sense into her. I think maybe she's changed her mind about me. About us."

  "That would be nice. By the time dinner's over, your mom will be planning our wedding."

  Susie's eyebrows shot up. "Aay, mi vida, you have the best imagination. That's why I love you."

  "And I love you, too." Marlee reached for Susie's hand.

  As they passed the spot where Susie's car had run out of gas, Susie refused to think of the bad things that could have happened to her on that awful night. From there on out, she decided to try to find something positive in every negative. And that included things like Coach Gellar riding her ass, Bree stalking Marlee, and her mother hating her.

  "No, no," Marlee said as she turned into the parking lot of the Aldwell Auto Repair Shop. "No thinking."

  Susie was about to protest, but decided against it. "You know me too well, mi vida."

  Susie got out of the van and paid for the repairs. She was ecstatic when her car started up on the first twist of the key. She followed Marlee the three or four miles to her house.

  Marlee parked her van in front of the garage, and Susie pulled her car in beside it. Marlee's mother's new Cadillac wasn't in the driveway, which was expected because she was showing a commercial property in Northfork. Marlee hopped out of the van and lifted up the back tailgate. Susie grabbed her softball bag and dumped it in her trunk and then pulled out a bag of clothes she was going to put on after showering. They headed into the house. Patches raced toward them and rubbed against Susie's legs.

  "Oh, man," Marlee said. "I think I've lost my cat."

  Susie grinned at Marlee and reached down to pet the cat. "What can I say? All the McAllister women love me."

  "Hmm," Marlee stepped closer, "I think you're right." Marlee called out, "Mom, are you home?" When she got no answer she pushed Susie back against the refrigerator. "I had to be sure." Marlee put her hands on either side of Susie's ears in effect pinning her.

  The last time Susie had been at Marlee's house, she had so many things on her mind, that their alone time had been more about making the hurt go away than anything else. This time, though, Susie was hungry. Hungry to feel Marlee's body pressed up against hers. She pulled Marlee to her, and after sending steamy silent messages with her eyes, kissed Marlee like she'd been starving.

  They were both out of breath when they broke apart.

  Marlee looked dazed. "Wait 'til I get you alone."

  "Aren't we alone now?"

  Marlee grinned and pointed to Patches on the kitchen table watching them. "No."

  Susie laughed.

  "Actually," Marlee continued, "I have a new place for us."

  "Not Lake Birch?"

  Marlee shook her head. "Much more private than Lake Birch."

  "Ooh, where are we going?"

  "Nope. Showers first, then I'll show you."

  Susie let herself be ushered up the stairs to the bathroom where she got out of her uniform, showered, and then changed into shorts and a button-up shirt. She'd specifically chosen a shirt that buttoned up the front in the hopes that at some point Marlee would unbutton it. Thinking about that spurred Susie into dressing faster.

  "Hey," Susie called down the stairs, "I'm done. I'm just putting on my shoes." "Okay," Marlee called up. "You have to come down and make sure the chicken doesn't burn."

  "Chicken?" Just as she said the word, the wonderful aroma of fried chicken wafted up the stairs. Susie slid her sandals on, shoved her dirty uniform into her bag, and headed down the stairs. "Did you fry chicken?"

  "Oh, sure, because I'm that good a cook." Marlee rolled her eyes. "I bought a box of fried chicken at Price Chopper last night, and I'm reheating the pieces in the oven. We're going on a picnic."

  "No way."

  "Yes, way." Marlee headed up the stairs. "Don't let them burn, okay?"

  "Hurry, I'm starving." In more ways than one, mi vida. In more ways than one.

  Susie checked the oven. The fried chicken covered an entire cookie sheet and seemed to be fine, so she ran out to her car to throw the bag of dirty clothes in the trunk. She breathed in the sultry summer air and, before heading back inside, took in the patchy blue skies and the acres and acres of meadow surrounding the house. Marlee had told her once that they owned about thirty acres of what used to be farmland. Susie loved living in upstate New York. She had been to Brooklyn a few times to visit her Tío Emilio and his family, but she had hated all the concrete and the fast pace. She'd take the North Country every time.

  With a start, she realized she was supposed to be watching the chicken in the oven, and sprinted back into the house. Her heart was pounding when she looked in. Phew. All was well, but the chicken looked done, so she turned the oven off.

  Marlee bounded down the steps, her hair still wet. "Man, that smells good, doesn't it?"

  Susie nodded. "What can I do to help?"

  "You can get the blanket and picnic basket from the top shelf in the hall closet."

  Susie pulled them down as requested. "This looks like a picnic basket you'd see in one of those old Yogi Bear cartoons." She set it on the kitchen table.

  "Oh, I know. It belonged to my mom's mom. My mom inherited it when she died. That was before I was born."

  As they packed the basket with all the fixings they needed for their lunch, Susie realized that there were a lot of things she didn't know about Marlee. Did Marlee have other grandparents still living? Aunts and Uncles? Susie had a bunch of cousins, some in Brooklyn and some in Puerto Rico. Did Marlee have cousins?

  "We're all set," Marlee declared, picnic basket in hand. "Ready?"

  "I'm starving. Where are we going?" Susie held the blanket draped over one arm.

  "Follow me." Marlee grabbed her keys off the kitchen table and locked the door behind them. They headed toward the van, and Susie thought they were going to get in, but Marlee walked right past it.

  "We're not taking the van?"

  Marlee shook her head. "Nope, we're going for a picnic in the McAllister back thirty."

  "No way." Susie followed Marlee into the meadow behind the garage. "Oh, this is so cool."

  There was the tiniest of paths carved out of the wilds. The path wasn't wide enough for them to walk side-by-side, so Susie followed behind. Some of the wild grasses were almost waist high. Purple and white and yellow wildflowers were everywhere. She quietly picked a handful of the purple asters and tied them into a bouquet with a stalk of wild grass.

  They walked on for another five minutes or so in relative quiet, the silence only broken when Marlee pointed out a butterfly or bird.

  Susie looked back to get her bearings. The garage and house were far off in the distance. "You do know where you're going, right?"

  "Yeah. I have my own private hideout back here. I made this path right after my dad died, so I'd have a place to cry and my mom wouldn't hear me. I even used to come out here in the snow."

  Susie's heart squeezed tight. "And you're sharing it with me? Your very own private hideout?"

  Marlee nodded. "It'll be our pr
ivate place now. Of course, it'll suck, if it starts to rain." She pointed to the dark-bottomed cumulus clouds moving in overhead.

  Susie, remembering that she vowed to find the positive in every negative, said, "But we'll be with each other, so it won't matter."

  Marlee stopped on the path so quickly, that Susie almost bumped into her. Marlee whipped around. "That's why I love you. Even if it rains, everything's going to be perfect because you're here."

  Marlee stroked Susie's cheek and started to spin back around, but Susie grabbed her arm and handed her the flowers. "See?" Marlee said. "You're perfect."

  Marlee hugged the flowers to her chest as they continued their trek to the private hideout. "We're almost there. Now, don't get too excited about it. It's just a flattened out piece of land." Marlee entered a small clearing in the middle of the acres and acres of meadow. "I've been coming out here for the past week and pulling out the tall stuff and stomping down the rest."

  The secret hideout was a small worn down area about ten feet around. Susie was struck by how far away from the house it was, as if Marlee had wanted to make sure no one would ever find her out there. Susie tossed the blanket on the ground and pulled Marlee into a tight hug. "I'm sorry you were so sad back then that you had to run away and hide."

  Marlee put the picnic basket down at her feet. She was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry your mom is making you sad, too. But you know what?"

  "What?" Susie pulled her head back a little, so she could see her sexy girlfriend's face.

  "It's natural."

  "What's natural?" Susie loved the way Marlee's eyes sparkled when she was excited about something.

  "Us."

  "What d'ya mean, jelly bean?"

  "I used Jeri's computer and did some research. I went to this National Geographic website, and it said that most species of animals have same-sex, uh, relations."

  "Really? Which animals?"

  "Most of them. I read about queer dolphins, penguins, sheep, seagulls, ducks, pigeons, vultures." She looked skyward as if looking there for more animals to name. "Oh, yeah. Swans, horses, dogs, cats."

  "Cats? You mean Patches might be queer?"

  Marlee chuckled. "Yeah, the furry wonder might be gay."

  Susie laughed.

  "But there are way more. Most monkey species, which we're supposedly evolved from, have sex for fun and some of its queer sex. There's even this one monkey species called the Bonobo, and the females have sex with each other all the time, more sex than the males."

  "Aay, that's weird."

  "And giraffes, too." Marlee's voice turned to a whisper. "I read that male giraffes have anal intercourse."

  Susie grimaced. "They do?"

  "Yeah, and so do Bison."

  "How come we've never heard about this before?"

  "The article said it was kind of controversial and most researchers didn't want to open up a can of worms or something."

  Susie shrugged. "That makes sense, I guess."

  "So, you see?" Marlee smiled. "You and me?" Marlee twirled Susie in a circle. "We're natural." She pulled Susie into a closer hug and they stood that way for a few quiet moments, until Marlee slid her hands in Susie's back pockets. "What's in your pocket?"

  Susie heard the crinkle of paper, but had no idea what it was. She'd only worn the shorts for her short trip to Wal-Mart the day before. Maybe it was a receipt. She reached in her back pocket and pulled it out. "Oh, it's that letter I was telling you about. The one from Clarksonville Community College."

  Marlee spread the blanket on the beaten down grass and sat down. "What's it say?" She pulled out two paper plates from the basket.

  Susie plopped down on the soft blanket hip to hip with Marlee. "I don't know. Let's see." The tall grasses made it seem like they were in their own cocoon, away from prying eyes. Not that there were people anywhere near, but still, it was comforting. Susie opened the envelope and read the first paragraph to herself.

  Marlee handed Susie a paper plate filled with chicken and potato salad. She slid a fork onto Susie's plate and a napkin into her lap.

  "Oh, thanks." Susie picked up the fork, but before stabbing the potato salad said, "It's from the Science Department at the college. It says something about offering a paid internship to high achieving high school students who want to study Earth Science in college." In addition to the letter, there was an application form.

  "Oh, cool. Did you apply for that?"

  Susie shook her head. "I have no idea how they got my name and address." She reread the letter. "It sounds like the best job ever. Can you imagine the things I'd learn? Before college? And get paid, too? Dios mio, it's my lucky day."

  "Will you have to go to Clarksonville College? Is that part of the deal?"

  "It doesn't say. I guess I'll have to check their website or call somebody there. I have butterflies in my stomach. This is incredible."

  "It does sound incredible, but to be honest, I think those butterflies in your stomach are hunger pangs." Marlee gestured toward Susie's food. "C'mon, let's eat."

  Susie put the letter back in her pocket and dug into the picnic food heartily. Since the subject of colleges had been brought up, she decided to pursue it.

  "What are your plans for college?" Susie picked up a forkful of potato salad so she could avoid eye contact.

  When Marlee didn't answer right away, Susie looked up.

  "I've been avoiding that topic," Marlee said, "but I guess we have to talk about it sometime, don't we?"

  Susie nodded, her stomach knotting up. Maybe Marlee didn't want them to go to the same college together.

  "I want to study physics or engineering," Marlee said. "I want to learn more about, like, quantum mechanics or maybe electromagnetism. I guess I want to be a science nerd like you." She bugged out her eyes. "Anyway, my math teacher from last year wants me to apply to Cornell, but to be honest, I don't think my mom and I can afford that."

  "I know what you mean, Jelly Bean." Susie desperately wanted to suggest that they apply to the same colleges in the fall, but didn't want to sound too needy.

  "How do you feel about, um--" Marlee hesitated.

  "About what?"

  "How do you feel about going to the same college? I mean, we don't have to, if you don't want--"

  "I want." Susie's stomach unknotted. Dios mío, why had she been so insecure with Marlee? They'd weathered the Bree and Isabella storms together, wasn't that proof enough that Marlee wanted her to stick around? "You won't get sick of me?"

  Marlee put her chicken leg down and pulled Susie into a tight hug. "Not a chance. I can't be away from you for four years. No frickin' way."

  Susie's eyes welled up. "Let's do it. Well, if my mother even lets me go to college that is." Aay, she'd worry about that later, because she and Marlee had finally had the college talk, and they were on the same page. Now they just had to figure out what that page was.

  Marlee pulled back from the hug, but Susie averted her eyes pretending to watch a red-winged blackbird in the meadow around them. When Marlee went back to her chicken, Susie quickly wiped at her eyes with the napkin.

  After they ate and put their food and trash back in the picnic basket, Marlee pulled out a plastic box of chocolate chip cookies.

  "Cookies, my sweet?" Marlee opened the lid and held them out to Susie.

  Susie shook her head slowly. The only sweet thing she wanted was Marlee. She'd waited long enough. Without saying a word, Susie took the box, closed the lid, and put the cookies back in the basket. She put both hands on Marlee's shoulders and pushed her down on the blanket. Marlee didn't protest.

  Susie, leaning on one elbow, kissed Marlee softly. Marlee had other ideas, though, and pulled Susie on top of her. Susie let her weight fall gently, but kept herself propped up on one hand, so she wouldn't crush her. Marlee pulled her tighter and wiggled just enough so that Susie's thigh nestled in between her own. She then turned her head inviting Susie to kiss her on the neck. Susie obliged and trailed kisses from Marlee's
neck across her collar bone to the other side.

  Marlee's quiet moans encouraged Susie to move further down. She pulled the collar of Marlee's t-shirt as low as possible and kissed as much of Marlee's chest as she could reach. What she really wanted to do was rip Marlee's shirt right off her, but didn't dare. She had to go at Marlee's pace.

  Marlee hugged Susie tightly with both arms and then, with one swift movement, flipped Susie onto her back. Susie giggled at the suddenness of it, and Marlee smiled, but the smiles soon faded as Marlee ran her fingers over every square inch of Susie's shirt.

  Susie was squirming. She needed Marlee's touch on actual skin. Marlee was probably shy about moving forward, so Susie guided Marlee's hand to the top button, giving her permission. Marlee, obviously taking the hint, undid the button. She kissed the skin underneath. Button after button came undone, kiss after kiss trailed after until Susie felt the warm August breeze on her bare stomach. Marlee sighed and kissed her way across Susie's stomach and then lower, from hip to hip following the path of Susie's hip-hugger shorts. Warm tingles flared into life throughout Susie's body.

  Susie tugged at Marlee's t-shirt, demanding equal time. The t-shirt soon landed somewhere on the other side of the picnic basket. Susie couldn't help the moan that escaped her lips when Marlee lay on top and their skin pressed together. More, she wanted more of Marlee. She couldn't help it. She wanted to go slow for Marlee's sake, but she was on fire. The good meal, the warm breeze, the hideout in the meadow, all of it was perfect, so perfect that Susie sat them both up and took her unbuttoned shirt off the rest of the way. She then reached behind her back and undid the clasp to her bra. Marlee bit her lower lip watching. Susie shrugged out of her bra and felt her face flush as she freed herself. She reached behind Marlee's back and undid the clasp. Marlee pulled her bra off the rest of the way. Susie sighed. Marlee was so pretty. She pulled Marlee back on top and her body sang when Marlee's silky smooth skin touched her own.

  "Dios mío, you feel so good." Susie's head fell back as a rush of heat shot through her.