Uncivilized

by Laura Stapleton

  She couldn’t stop herself before blurting, “Dear God, I hope not! If not for Mr. Du Boise, I wouldn’t be here and possibly not even alive. He should be rewarded, not punished.”

  “Of course not, ma’am. I’ll inform the commander when I return.”

  Realizing he still waited with an outstretched elbow, she took his arm and went with him to her family. As they passed a wagon, the Nelsons cheered to see her with the soldier. She waved, smiling and accepting their sympathies. After walking by a couple more families, they arrived at her father’s wagon. “Pa?” she shouted, sliding her arm from her escort’s. “Where are you?” Ellen ran to the front of the wagon when she saw Mr. Lucky caring for the team. “Mr. Lucky!”

  He ran over to her and gave Ellen a bear hug. “It sure is good to see you, miss! We thought we’d have to pay a ransom for ya!”

  “Thank goodness, no. Is my Pa around? I want to make sure he’s all right, after Lucy’s death and all.”

  Lucky indicated the wagon. “He’s in there. Won’t come out, won’t eat, just drinks whisky all day and night.”

  “Whisky? Where is he getting it?” Too late, she realized the soldier hadn’t left. “I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t tell you this is my family’s wagon. Thank you for bringing me home.”

  “It’s been my duty and pleasure, ma’am. If you’ll excuse me?”

  She said, “Yes, certainly.” He turned on his heel before leaving. Ellen asked Lucky in a quieter voice, “How is Pa getting the drink? Is there a saloon in the fort?”

  Lucky looked uncomfortable, reluctant to tell her. “Well, miss, he’s been trading for it at the store since we got here, maybe before then. He’s been real upset since your mother died.”

  “Has he been drunk since then?” The other man nodded and she thought of Buster and Skeeter. “Oh no!” She looked in the wagon to see her unconscious father lying there by himself. “He didn’t forget my brothers somewhere, did he? Where are they?”

  “Hold on, miss, they’re with Mrs. Granville and are doing good. She’s spoiling them rotten, if you ask me.” He led her to the front of the wagon and patted the lone ox’s back. “As you can see, you still have an ox. One went to a couple of bottles of whisky at the last trading post.” He glanced at her, then at the wagon. “He went through those pretty quick. So, he traded off a cow for another bottle.”

  “He’s had three bottles of whisky in as many days?”

  “Well, when you say it like that, it sounds bad, sure. To be fair, you do still have an ox and a cow. He could have traded off those as well.”

  “Oh dear. I suppose thank heaven for small mercies.” She peeked in on him again. “He slept through all the bouncing?”

  Lucky shook his head. “Yeah, and I don’t see how. I’d watch out, miss. He’s going to be mean when he wakes up. Especially since he’s out of whisky. No more hair of the dog.”

  Ellen thought for a moment. “Very well. Hopefully, he’ll stay asleep for a while so I can get the boys.”

  He waved her on. “If you see Miss Jenny, tell her I say hello.”

  “I will. “ She walked faster to the front, looking for Marie and her brothers. Ellen didn’t pause at any of the wagons she passed. She didn’t want to stop and let others give her condolences for her stepmother or their congratulations for surviving an Indian attack. Their sympathy would make her cry, and she didn’t feel deserving of praise for living.

  Skeeter saw her before she saw him. Ellen heard him yell and turned to see him barreling toward her.

  “Ellie! You’re here!” He jumped up into her arms, squeezing the breath out of her. “You’re here. Mama’s gone, did you know?” He started crying.

  Ellen’s gaze met Marie’s as she followed. “Yes, sweetheart, I know and I’m so sorry.”

  His voice muffled, he cried, “I miss her! Little Buster don’t know, but I do. Pa’s been sick this whole time too.” He squeezed her even more. “I’m glad you’re here with us.”

  She held him, returning his hug. “I am too, baby boy.”

  Little Buster leaned against Marie as she said, “Skeeter here has been the best child I’ve ever met. He’s polite, is kind to other children, and has helped me with Little Buster’s care. He’s already such a little man.”

  A lump formed in Ellen’s throat. “He’s always been the best brother ever.” Addressing him, she added, “Thank you, Skeeter, for helping with Little Buster. I know this can’t have been easy for you and you’ve been so brave.”

  “Thank you, Ellie.” He rested against her. “They buried my Ma way back there. I didn’t want to leave her, but Pa made me.”

  She brushed away her tears. Skeeter needed her to be brave for him. “I know, sweetheart. Ma would have wanted you to stay with Pa while she went with the angels.”

  “But she was with us, and then we put her in the ground. Pa didn’t even wrap her in a blanket. She’s probably cold.”

  Ellen glanced at Marie. Her friend answered the question in her expression. “The men made a box from scrap lumber. It worked very well for her. We ladies put her in a Sunday dress with a lovely wrap for her neck.”

  She understood what Marie didn’t want to say in front of Skeeter. “That sounds perfect. Thank you for taking such good care of Lucy.” Ellen pulled away a little from her brother. “It sounds like everyone here did very well for our mother. Her body is in the earth but her spirit is in heaven, I’m sure.”

  The boy nodded, seeming happier now. “Ma doesn’t know she’s in the ground, I suppose.”

  “She doesn’t,” Ellen assured him. “She’s somewhere else much nicer.”

  Sniffing, he added, “Probably she’s already at where we’ll be living, but as a ghost. Ma will be a good ghost, not one that scares me or anything.”

  “Of course not. She’ll keep watch over you every day. You and Little Buster both.”

  “All right.” He wiped his nose on his sleeve. “I can keep an eye out for Ma’s ghost, just in case she’s not there yet.”

  “You could do that, yes.” Ellen looked at Marie for help. The woman shrugged, shaking her head.

  “Can I go tell the other boys to help me watch for her?”

  He looked at her with such hope in his eyes she didn’t have the heart to say he might not find Lucy out here. “Of course, but keep in mind she might be at our new home waiting for us, all right?”

  “All right!” Skeeter ran off, looking for his friends.

  Ellen looked at Marie. “How else was I supposed to handle that? He thinks his mother is around here as a ghost. Pa is going to be so angry with me.”

  “Then maybe your father should have taken care of this himself. Instead, he’s drunk himself sick and ignored his sons. I’m sorry. I tried not to say that.”

  Ellen reached out to Little Buster who ran into her arms. “Good to know he’s not changed. I was worried.”

  “How are you? Really?” Marie hugged Ellen. “Did they hurt you?”

  “No, not at all. Del was there.”

  “Was he really? I’m so glad. You’ll have to tell me what happened. But wait until Jenny is with us, because I know she’ll want to know as well.” She stepped back. “I’m sure Adelard is telling Sam now. I’m so sorry about Lucy. Did you have to see them…?”

  “Yes. They told us not to scream. She did and they killed her without hesitation.” Ellen felt sick at the memory. “After that, I was too scared to make a sound.”

  Marie shook her head. “You poor dear. How about you wait until you’re rested to say anything about this? The main thing is you’re safe and here with us. The boys are fine and your father will sober up someday.”

  As if he’d overheard them, Jack moaned and hollered for her. Ellen said, “It sounds like he’s already started the process.”

  Marie reassured her, patting her arm. “Don’t worry about the boys; they’re safe with me. Just get him healed up first.”

  “Thank you, Marie. Both you and Jenny are the best friends ever.” She paused,
another yell from Jack distracting her.

  “I hear her! Ellen! Where are you? Get over here!” He stumbled over to her, head bleeding from a cut. “I fell out of the damned wagon. Where were you? My Lucy is dead and you weren’t here to help me. I need a bucket.” He staggered away and started retching.

  With an odd expression on her face, Marie swallowed, saying, “I need to let you take care of him. Good luck.”

  Aghast at her father’s cursing and display, she nodded, her chin dropped a little. “Thank you. I need every bit of luck possible.” She let Marie back away, stunned, with Buster still on her hip. Regrouping, Ellen went to get a pail as ordered. “Pa, here’s your bucket.”

  “What the hell for? I don’t need that. I’m fine getting sick here.” He looked her up and down; eyes squinted from the bright sun. “Get the hell away from me. Can’t you see I’m sick?”

  “Of course.” She backed away, glad to be so dismissed. “Holler when you need me.”

  “Eh.” He waved her off and retched again.

  Like a prisoner on reprieve, she nearly fled his presence. Ellen went to the back of their wagon, hopping onto the tailgate. All their things lay strewn about as if dumped and searched through. She bet Pa had been looking for whisky money. Shaking her head, she knew he’d had no luck. She’d given him everything before the trip ever started. Anything she’d earned mending clothes for others consisted of traded items, no real money.

  She combed through their belongings but didn’t find the other pail. Chances are it lay where she dropped it during the kidnapping. Ellen shuddered as if chilled, remembering Lucy’s death and the nightmare later. Not wanting to think of the gruesome event, she scanned the mess. Just looking at the chaos tired her. Nothing seemed more appealing right now than stretching out for a nap even if only babies and the sick did so. She sighed and gathered her willpower. She crawled into the wagon and started straightening up the chaos. Jack called for her before she folded the first blanket. She peeked out. “Yes, Pa?”

  “Get out of there! I have things just the way I like them, and you’re probably messing it up.”

  “But, Pa, it’s a mess, let me—”

  “I said get the hell out of there!” His face reddened. “I’m hurting here and need in the wagon. I can’t sleep with you banging around in there, cleaning.” He jumped onto the tailgate. “Get out and stay out.”

  “Yes, sir.” Her way out of the back blocked, Ellen went to the front as her father climbed into the wagon. She sat on the bench behind the ox until Sam approached. Happy to see his smile, she hopped from the seat and into his arms.

  “First things first, Miss Winslow.” He held her tight. “Words can’t express how happy I am to see you whole, and how sorrowful I am about your step-mother.” Sam gave her a good squeeze before letting her go.

  She missed the affection from him already. First Del and now Sam’s arms helped her feel safe. “Thank you, Mr. Granville. Your sentiments are greatly appreciated.”

  Sam dipped his chin to speak in her ear. “Adelard told me some of your adventures. I suppose there’s no need for congratulations over a mock event.”

  “No, there is no need.” She tried to smile at him and failed.

  He straightened. “That’s too bad. He…well, he’s a good man, no matter where he is.”

  “I agree. My father doesn’t. Maybe someday he will.”

  “Maybe so. At any rate, I need to keep him on as a liaison with the Shoshone, then the Nez Perce. Which reminds me of how I need to help with his defense.”

  “Defense?” She shook her head, disagreeing that Del had been anything but stellar in his actions. “Sam, he shouldn’t need that.”

  “Don’t worry, his hearing is just a formality.”

  “I hope so. They can’t jail him, or even worse. He saved my life and would have saved Lucy had she been there.” A moan from Jack reminded Ellen she needed to be quieter. “Do I need to give testimony as a witness?”

  “Not yet and I’ll be the first to retrieve you if necessary. You’ll excuse me?”

  “Of course,” she said and he left, headed to the middle of the fort. Pa let out a healthy snore, and Ellen decided to find Buster. She soon found the Warrens’ wagon.

  Marie grinned when Ellen walked up to her. “There you are, young lady! Come over here and get this child. He’s been crying the entire time.”

  “Poor little guy!” Ellen said, hurrying to where her friend pointed. She looked into the wagon and found her baby brother lying there limp. “Buster? It’s Sissy.” The boy jumped up and clung to her.

  “I’d ask if you wanted me to continue taking care of him while you rested, but that may not be possible.”

  She held Buster tighter as she lifted him over the tailgate. “No, probably not.” He snuggled into her as if never letting go. “I missed him as much as he did me.”

  “I’m so glad you’re back. Go on and if you need help, please ask.”

  “Thank you, Marie.” She carried her brother back to their wagon. Ellen envied Pa his sleep. She wanted desperately to take a brief nap. Instead, she checked on her father again to make sure he was all right. He still lay there slack jawed. A quick peek in on Skeeter reassured her he was well too. Her younger brother had all his friends in a circle around him while he told stories of a ghost who watched over her son. Buster squirmed down to sit on his brother’s lap and looked at Ellen every so often as she built a campfire.

  The cow needed milking most likely, so she accomplished that task. She fell asleep for a moment with her face against the animal’s belly. A tail slapping at a fly hit her instead, and Ellen woke up with a start. She straightened her glasses, determined to get through chores as fast as possible. She fixed dinner in a tired haze, working around a deadweight Pa sleeping it off in the back of the wagon. The biscuits cooked nicely and she doled them out to the boys. They each got a small jar of milk and a bit of jam. Ellen spooned out the last of the jelly and tried to ignore memories of Lucy dying. If they’d not been picking berries that day, her stepmother would still be alive.

  She shook the terror from her mind, determined to focus on something more controllable. “Skeeter, can you help me set up our beds, please?”

  He followed her to the back of the wagon. She’d seen him play just fine with the other children. He seemed normal until near her. Then, he was far too quiet, not his usual chatty self. What had been annoying before now seemed very wrong in its absence. She set it in her mind to talk with her brother later. Right now, Buster needed changing and cleaning up, the dishes needed washing, and the animals needed staking out for the night. She’d have time after all that to visit Del, if he’d been freed by then.

  She rushed, doing all her chores in record time and yet wasn’t fast enough to visit Del. Stars twinkled overhead, echoing the various campfires’ light. She slipped into bed, satisfied her brothers slept, and marveled at how Pa hadn’t woken up with all the noise she’d made.

  Ellen dreamed of a shrill bird pecking in her ear. She shook her head, trying to escape the dream. Opening her eyes, she realized Pa was saying her name over and over again. “Yes, Pa? You need coffee, don’t you?”

  “What the hell do you think I’ve been saying? Get up and get it going, I’m tired of waiting on you.”

  She wiped the sleep from her eyes. “Have you taken the stock to the water yet?”

  “Naw, I’ve been trying to wake you up for my coffee and breakfast. It’s almost daybreak and you’re still laying around.”

  “All right. I’ll get some water and take the stock at the same time.”

  “Good. Hurry it up.”

  She took the pail and animals to the rocky creek bank. After filling the pail, Ellen let the ox and cow drink their fill. Since the various alkali-poisoned water they’d found, she couldn’t take clean, fresh water for granted ever again. If not for the heavy load on the poor remaining ox, she’d fill every pail, jar, and barrel with water. They might not ever need it, but always better safe
than sorry.

  At the camp, Ellen hurried through breakfast, making sure the boys had plenty. She took the last of the coffee, glad to get a couple of beans to chew. Activity in the camp increased as the sun rose higher. “Skeeter, could you keep an eye on Buster while I wash dishes?”

  “Sure, sis. I could probably do more too.”

  Surprised at his willingness to help instead of play, Ellen smiled. “That would be wonderful. You’ve seen me roll up our bedding. Do you think you could as well?”

  “Yep! Leave it to me,” he said and began his work. “I’ll show Buster so he can help when he’s as old as I am.”

  She almost laughed at how sweet her little brother was. Skeeter was growing up too fast, while she wouldn’t mind if Buster outgrew his diapers. Lucy had spared her a lot of the messy chores with him until now. She needed to go back to the Warrens’ and get his diapers from Marie. She hoped for her friend’s sake that she’d left the washing to Ellen and took the breakfast dishes to the river.

  Jack followed her to the water while wailing, “My poor little Lucy. She’s in the cold ground, in a horrible casket just cobbled together out of scrap wood.”

  People stared at the man crying his eyes out. Various women close to his age stopped and he hugged each one. “My poor, poor Lucy is gone, and now I have no one to take care of me. The only woman I ever loved is gone, gone forever.” He looked up from the lady hugging him. “Ellen, can you get me a handkerchief? Please, darling?”

  “Yes, Pa.”

  “No, you poor, dear man. Take my handkerchief, I insist.” The woman handed him a lace trimmed, embroidered scrap of cloth.

  “Thank you kindly, ma’am.” He held the napkin to his nose as if overcome with grief. “My heart is so broken. Thank you for your kind words, they mean so much to me.”

  She hugged him again and walked on to catch up with her family. Jack watched her go and winked at Ellen. “I’m wondering when she’ll want this back.” He waved the handkerchief.

  Ellen tried to smile at him. “Maybe we can have Skeeter deliver it for you later.”