The Woman Left Behind

by Linda Howard

  She leaned around Levi to shoot him the bird. Levi slapped her hand down and continued talking to her mom. “Yes, ma’am. No, ma’am. She’s had a drink and a half. We fed her first, but—you got that right. Yes, ma’am. I’ll have her call you when she’s safely home. I’ll send you a text right now. Good night, ma’am.”

  He pulled his own phone out, his face grim, and looked at the contact info on Jina’s phone while he thumbed in a text.

  “What’re you doing?” she demanded, grabbing for her phone. “Give me that. I want to talk to my mom.”

  “She’s already hung up. As for what I’m doing—” He shook his head. “I just texted your mother my contact info, because she’s holding me personally responsible if anything happens to you.”

  There was dead silence around the table, then Snake said, “That’s a first.”

  Twelve

  Her mother called first thing in the morning—really first thing, meaning five-thirty. It wasn’t even daylight yet. With the hours of daylight so short now, Jina had barely rolled out of bed and hadn’t made it to the kitchen for the first cup of coffee. “Hi, Mom,” she said around a yawn. “You’re up early.”

  “Thank goodness you sound all right,” her mother said grimly. “Your daddy and I were prepared to be called to D.C. to identify your body.”

  “Oh.” She yawned again. “I won’t say there was nothing to be worried about, because I guess if I was a mother I’d have been worried, too.” Even half asleep, Jina was too smart to dismiss her mother’s concerns. The woman had eyes in the back of her head, spies everywhere, and a built-in lie detector somewhere in her belly, close to her uterus.

  “Well—” Momentarily taken aback, her mother rallied. “That was not a great situation for you to be in.”

  “I had seven companions, two of whom are married, and their wives—”

  “Oh, thank goodness,” her mother said fervently, not letting Jina finish her sentence, which had been that the wives had given their okay. “Because it sounded like all men.”

  Jina didn’t correct the assumption that the wives had been there, because she wasn’t that sleepy or that stupid. Thinking back, she remembered seeing a number of women in the bar, so she didn’t have to lie. “Not even close. Anyway, I’m the first one to finish training, so they took me out to celebrate. Kind of. Hamburger and fries, nothing fancy.”

  “And alcohol.”

  “And alcohol. I had one and a half lemon drop martinis.”

  That earned a chuckle. “Your celebration drink.”

  “I don’t even have a headache this morning, so I didn’t drink that much, though I was a little happy when you called.”

  “Your boss was reassuring. Thank him for me, for understanding that I was worried.”

  “The funny thing is, when you called, he’d just finished running off some guy who asked me to dance.”

  “Good for him. Tipsy women shouldn’t dance. No good can come of it.”

  “I thought that was how you met Daddy.”

  “And I have five kids. Point made.”

  “Which ones of us would you give back?”

  “There have been times in the lives of each one of you that I’d have jumped at the chance. I’m just glad last night wasn’t one of your nights.”

  “Love you, too, Mom. Before I forget—unless there’s an emergency, it looks as if I’ll be able to come home for Thanksgiving. While I was still in the training program I was nailed down, but now I can probably wiggle free for a few days.”

  “Hallelujah!” Delight warmed her mother’s tone. “It’s been too long. If you hadn’t been able to come, I was planning on making a trip the next weekend to see you.”

  Wow, talk about dodging a bullet. Jina could just imagine marching to Levi’s orders and trying to entertain her parents at the same time, because there weren’t enough hours in the day.

  “I’ll send you my flight information. I won’t have time to drive down, that would use up half of my time off.”

  “I’ll have your favorite cake waiting.”

  German chocolate! Jina’s salivary glands activated. “I’ve been working out like crazy, just to buy myself some leeway for the holidays. I love it when a plan comes together.”

  Jina thought about that cake while she was drinking the all-important first cup of coffee and making herself a small protein smoothie, followed by a small bowl of oatmeal for the warm and homey feeling. After yesterday, she needed some comfort food, and there wasn’t any meatloaf available. To have that cake, she’d have to run even more miles. Heck, she’d have to run whether she had cake or not, because that was how this gig worked: stay in shape, or else.

  Because she had time, she got on the computer and checked flight times. She lucked out and found a single seat on a Wednesday night flight out of Reagan to Atlanta, then she checked for an available seat to either Albany or Brunswick, her family home being about equidistant between the two. Then, on second thought, she arranged for a rental car, so she’d have her own wheels while she was there, in case the team got sent out on a mission and she had to leave in the middle of the night.

  Pride filled her at the realization she’d really done it: she was a member of a GO-Team now. She not only had an important job where she could make a difference, she’d lasted through some tough training. A couple of the other trainees had gotten hurt, but even more of them had washed out. She hadn’t washed out, she was still standing at the end.

  As an official part of the team, she should do what the guys did and keep a bag packed and in her car so she could leave at a minute’s notice.

  There was a plan. Unfortunately, packing a bag with a couple of changes of clothes and some necessities didn’t require a lot of brainpower, and she found herself thinking about Levi, whether she wanted to or not. Yesterday had been so traumatic that she hadn’t been able to analyze anything; she’d simply tried to live through the day. Last night, she’d been tipsy. This morning, there was nothing to ward him off.

  He’d kissed her, damn him. Focusing on that helped her not focus on the fact that his hand had been under her shirt and he’d been between her legs, and that even with their clothes on he’d made her come. She didn’t know how to act, and most of all she really wanted to avoid him now. After everything he’d said, he was the one who hadn’t toed the line. She felt resentful about almost all of yesterday—last night had been fun—but in retrospect she was most resentful about that. Kissing her was dirty pool.

  In the months she’d known him, she had watched how he pulled this string to get that effect, how he shifted and balanced and analyzed in his role as team leader; given that, she had to consider the possibility that he’d kissed her as an emotional prompt to quit the team—make her think they’d have something, become a couple, if she just quit her job. Maybe some women would have done exactly that. Maybe most women would have made that call, depending on the depth of their own emotional involvement. Jina wasn’t one of those women. Being physically attracted to Levi wasn’t the same as being in love with him, and she didn’t confuse the two.

  He was known for being ruthless in his pursuit of the mission, whatever any particular mission might be. It stood to reason that if—if—he thought she was a weakness that could endanger the team, he’d have booted her out of training. On the other hand, she was the only woman trainee, and there might have been political pressure for him to “help” her succeed. She didn’t think so, because Axel MacNamara wasn’t exactly known for his political correctness; rather, the exact opposite. Still, the small possibility existed, and that made her angry. She wanted to succeed because she could do the job, not because someone gave her a pass because of her sex.

  Damn it, there was no way to sort out all the variables and possibilities, including the one that Levi might, just might, truly be attracted to her. He hadn’t been faking the huge erection in his pants, but under those circumstances, in that position, she’d have been more surprised if he hadn’t had one.

 
The unwelcome fact was that no matter how she worried the details or how many possibilities occurred to her, she still ended back at square one, with no options other than to do the job to the best of her ability and handle the moment she was in. That was all anyone could do, just handle the moment.

  Her go-bag packed, she set it in front of the door so she wouldn’t forget it, then checked the time. Just six-thirty, she had plenty of time to get to the training site. Being a full-fledged team member didn’t change certain things, such as staying in shape. She also needed to log some computer time with Tweety, keep those skills sharp, now that she’d actually be using them in the field. She could hardly wait.

  Once she was at the site Jina got in some running time, which was easier now that the heat of summer was gone. She kept to an easy lope, because she thought she deserved an easy day after the horror that yesterday had been. Besides, she’d sprinted on Friday—in the rain, no less.

  Donnelly fell in beside her around the two-mile mark. His shirt was already dark with sweat, telling her he’d hit the course early.

  “Hey, we heard some buzz about you last night.”

  No mind reading was needed to guess what that was about. “The jump training? Yeah. It was horrible. I was scared to death, and I never want to do it again.” She was still breathing easily, so talking wasn’t a problem.

  “But you did it, right?”

  “On the third try—and it wasn’t pretty.”

  “No points for pretty,” he said and slapped her on the shoulder. “You did it, you qualified! You’re officially on the team.”

  She grinned. “The guys took me out last night to celebrate, and my mom called in the middle of it. I told her I’d finished training and the guys were getting me drunk. Levi—Ace—had to explain himself to my mom and she made him text her his name and phone number. She held him hostage, in case anything happened to me.”

  Donnelly laughed so hard he stumbled and had to stop. Jina pulled up, too, walking around with her hands on her hips and breathing deep so she wouldn’t get stiff. She had to grin, too, because Levi having to deal with a worried, horrified mother had been pretty good stuff.

  They finished the run together, though Jina thought Donnelly probably ran longer than he’d been planning, but he asked her a lot of questions about jumping. She could tell he wasn’t thrilled by the prospect of parachuting, either, and he said his training in it was due to start that week, so the experience was rushing at him a lot faster than he wanted. She didn’t sugarcoat the experience, nor did she gloss over how horribly everything had gone the first two times. That seemed to reassure him, that she could goof up so bad and still pass. He’d been expecting to get one chance, and that was all.

  Kodak was extremely well liked in the GO-Team community, but Jina didn’t at all approve of how he was handling the trainee situation; for that matter, none of the team leaders other than Levi had taken a hands-on approach to their training. Levi was also the only one who had been saddled with a woman, which was why he’d done it. She had to admit she was likely in much better shape, and as far ahead as she was, because of his decision. Funny how she hadn’t felt honored during any of the ordeal.

  But it was done, and she was ready to get in the field with Tweety, see what she could do. As the first operator activated with this particular program, a lot of attention would be paid to her results.

  There were a lot more people at the training site as they neared the end of the course; neither of them slacked up, because doing so would get some sharp words from Baxter or someone else (don’t let up until the job is done), and she saw a few of her guys, including Levi, standing around talking.

  Levi turned to look at her, and even from that distance she could feel his gaze boring into her. He hadn’t asked her anything about Donnelly, though he’d waited in the parking lot Saturday night to see if Donnelly stayed late. Was he taking it for granted that her “date” had been nothing but window dressing? He might be rethinking that, though if he did she thought she might be insulted, because if she’d truly been dating Donnelly, she wouldn’t have kissed Levi the way she had and she certainly wouldn’t have allowed the rest of what had happened, but he didn’t know her well enough to get that about her. She actually knew more about him than he did about her, because of the scuttlebutt about him.

  Any way she looked at it, she was annoyed, angry, embarrassed, and she didn’t want to talk to him right now.

  She said bye to Donnelly and he continued jogging to join the group of trainees, some of whom waved at her. She felt a little sad that she hadn’t gone through training with them, the geeks and nerds with whom she was so comfortable, but that water had long since passed under the bridge. She was walking toward her group, swiping her sweaty face on her shirtsleeve, when she saw Kodak himself pull into the parking lot and on impulse she swerved, heading instead toward him.

  Kodak was a big, good-looking blond guy, kind of scruffy in a just-rolled-out-of-bed-after-a-good-time way. He was known to be as cheerful as he was good in the field, and normally being on his team was the best assignment Donnelly could have asked for. Kodak stood in the open door of his truck, reading something, but as she approached he tossed his reading material onto the seat and closed the door.

  She probably shouldn’t do this. How Kodak ran his team was none of her business. No one had ever told her “Don’t interfere with another team” but that didn’t mean there wasn’t an unspoken protocol about how things were handled. If there was, she was about to violate it.

  Damned if she did, chicken if she didn’t.

  “Hey,” she greeted him, then stood there feeling awkward. Eloquent and effective. They had never actually met, though she knew who he was.

  A slow, easy smile lit his face. “Babe,” he said, making it clear that he knew who she was, too. Or maybe he called all women babe.

  “Could I talk to you for a minute?”

  “Darlin’, you can talk to me as long as you want.” His gaze went over her, and his eyes said he liked what he was seeing. “I know a little hole-in-the-wall café that has the best coffee in D.C. Want to go over there and start the morning out right?”

  She sighed. His reputation as a hound was evidently well deserved. “No flirting, this is serious.”

  “I’m dead serious about flirting. It’s one of the most enjoyable things in life.” That easy, charming smile flashed again. “Can I hope you want to leave Ace’s team and join mine?”

  “After you’ve screwed up so bad? No way.”

  The smile left his face and he straightened, his gaze turning direct. When it came to work, Kodak was serious. “Whattaya mean, I screwed up?”

  She took a deep breath and plunged in. Might as well get it over with. “Ace is the only team leader who involved his team in his assignee’s training. I’ve spent months with the guys, getting to know them, becoming part of the team. Brian Donnelly, the trainee assigned to you, is a good guy, but you haven’t made any effort to make him a part of the team before you have to go into the field with him.”

  Kodak took off his cap, slapped it against his leg, replaced it. His blue eyes were steady, narrowed. “You involved with him?”

  She scowled at him. “You don’t have to be involved with someone to take up for them.”

  He held his hands up in a surrender gesture. “Just asking, don’t take my head off.” He grinned. “I could get used to being fussed at, if you’re the one doing it. I heard you give as good as you get. You sure you don’t want to transfer to me?”

  Determinedly she stayed on message. “He’s a casual friend. I know him a bit better than I know most of the other trainees, but they’re all getting hung out to dry by their assigned teams.” She shrugged. “Ace wanted to oversee my training because he figured I’d be more of a liability because I’m a woman. I wasn’t happy at the time, but in hindsight that was the best thing he could have done. Time’s running out for the rest of you.”

  He rubbed his jaw, nodded. “You have a poin
t.” He cut his eyes to the right, grinned a little. “Looks like you’re about to be snatched from my lascivious clutches,” he said, winking at her.

  “Oh my God, you really said lascivious!” She had to laugh. Even when she disagreed with him, he was so damn likable she thought hanging out with him would be one big party. Too bad she felt none of the visceral reaction to Kodak that she had to Levi because he would be so much easier to get along with. Maybe there was something wrong with her, that she preferred the man with the scowl, his roughness to Kodak’s smoothness.

  “I know other four-syllable words, too,” he replied, grinning. “I’m really pretty smart.”

  All of them were, really. Doing what they did required a certain sophistication of thought and action, all of them spoke at least two languages, they could fly a variety of aircraft and operate computers; sometimes they made her feel almost backwoods.

  She was suddenly surrounded by four big men, all the members of her team who had already arrived at the training site, even Voodoo, though he might have come along just for entertainment.

  “Stay away from her,” Levi said, the words and tone flat; he meant business, and he didn’t mind Kodak knowing it. His chin was tucked and his hard gaze was level on Kodak, as if he was ready to start brawling.

  Kodak just grinned. “I’m just standing here by my truck,” he pointed out. “She came to me, and from my point of view I’m the one who needs protecting. Evidently I’ve been going about things wrong, but I’ve now been set straight.”

  Now Levi’s hard gaze switched to her. Jina hitched a shoulder. If she had the guts to do it, she figured she had the guts to own it. “All the other team leaders should have been training their assignees the way y’all did with me,” she said, folding her arms and lifting her chin. “That way they’re already part of the team when they go out on their first assignment, instead of being strangers.”

  Levi’s jaw clenched and Jina knew exactly what he was thinking, that she’d interfered on her “boyfriend’s” behalf, though she knew she’d never referred to Donnelly as her boyfriend. She switched her gaze back to Kodak. “Anyway, think about it, though there isn’t much time to do anything about it. Nice talking to you.” She nodded to him, slid between Levi and Snake, and walked away. She had to consciously keep from clenching her fists. Boy, it was a good thing Thanksgiving was coming up, because she desperately needed a break from the guys, even if it was just a couple of days.