Space Hoppers - Dance of the Guinea Pigs

by Jayne Bartholomew

  “Do you remember anything unusual before you fell down the travel-hole?”

  “Not really. We were looking for rabbits and we just fell.” He tried to struggle up. “You have to help Sarah…”

  “There are no readings of life coming from the cave and Monty has just gone in a south-westerly direction so it looks likely that she’s now with the Namdols.”

  Martyn looked sharply up at him. Simon appeared confused.

  “Is that good?”

  Xander sighed. “I’d say it couldn’t get much worse but I’m beginning to realise that the universe loves a challenge. Come on, we’ve got another couple of buses coming down so I think Martyn had better take you back with Garet and return to the Med-crew.”

  “I want to stay and help.”

  “Right now we can only use able-bodied personnel. Thanks for the thought but you’re better off away from the planet.”

  Simon looked at his shredded hands in frustration. “You need people who can fight, don’t you?”

  Xander gazed in the direction that Monty had run in. “Either fight or run very fast. It depends on the situation really. Come on, let’s get you to Med-crew.” He watched as Simon was helped along to the bus with a vague sense of unease. He shrugged it off as he saw new crew approaching.

  “Alright everyone - a quick team briefing. We’re about to enter a Namdol village and I hope I don’t need to remind anyone how sensitive they can be[7]. For this reason I want you all to find some way of covering your mouths in case of inadvertent yawing and sneezing. Garet, while I appreciate your dedication to this mission by not heading straight to Med-crew, would you please stop trying to make your uniform brown by rubbing mud into it, you just look sloppy.”

  Monty ran with a clear mind and an acute sense of direction. All he was conscious of was an urge, a desperate need to be by Sarah’s side and to be there as quickly as possible. Nothing else mattered. Not the distance, not the speed he was running, not even the increased pounding of his heart or the light-headed feeling as his lungs tired faster than his determination. Determination can only push a body on so far though and the crew watched helpless as Monty stopped suddenly and fell to the ground. As they ran towards him he raised himself up, took a couple of steps forward and then collapsed for the last time. The first crew member by his side kneeled down and after a quick examination turned to Xander and shook his head.

  Sarah was floating on a cloud of relaxation. Her mind was free and all the stress and chaos had dropped away. Her head rolled to one side and was lifted up. How kind, she thought, how lovely. The scent of flowers filled the air and she could feel a garland around her neck and a circle of flowers on her head. She felt pretty and peaceful. Slowly she started to slide down from her seat and two hands lifted her up from either side.

  She opened her eyes and tried to concentrate on what was happening around her but the pink cotton cloud her mind was sailing on made things so very difficult. A wave of calm drifted over her and she let herself be carried away on it. There was a loud noise somewhere but the fluffy cloud steered her gently back to the peace of oblivion. A storm cloud of reality was floating somewhere on her horizon but the pink fluffiness was impenetrable.

  As she slid down again she heard Xander’s voice calling up to her.

  “Sarah? Sarah! For Light’s sake snap out of it, you alcoholic, drug-addled humanoid!”

  The cloud bobbed slightly.

  “Brelt, pass me that EpiPen. Sarah, this is going to hurt but right now I don’t have much of a choice.” A flash of lightning struck the cloud leaving her rocking. She was aware of the world spinning and Xander stepped quickly to one side as she was sick. He held her hair back until she’d finished.

  “Urgh, I feel terrible.”

  “You look worse.”

  “Xander, is that really you?”

  He let go of her hair and helped her up. “I thought we were only dealing with a search and rescue issue. But no, apparently that would be too simple.”

  “Is Monty with you?”

  Not meeting her eyes Xander took off her flower garlands. “Monty is… back with the landing crew, I thought it wasn’t such a good idea to bring him here. I think right now we need to focus on the immediate problem.”

  She reached down and fiddled with one of the flowers as it was removed from around her neck, staring at it as if for the first time. “Why am I decked out like a flower fairy?”

  “Do you remember anything?”

  “I remember a cave and giant butterflies. They were… mean to me. Falling was involved at some stage and…” she screwed up her forehead and vaguely waved her hand around at the giant lobster-shaped creatures bustling around them, “they just started preparing things. I think. It’s so hard to remember clearly. I definitely remember getting a bit off track.” She scratched at her wrist. “Is this a tattoo?”

  Xander grabbed her by the shoulders. “Off track?! Drunk students on a road trip have been orienteering geniuses compared to you! You can't marry him! You're an Earthling and he's a ten-foot temper tantrum, think of the children!”

  “Does this look permanent to you?” Sarah rubbed the back of her hand against the rough cloth of her trousers with increasing urgency. “It’s not coming off!”

  “The hand art is part of the traditional wedding ceremony. The ink is a mixture of butterfly blood, crushed wings and sap from one of their trees. It’s designed to be a marker and show ownership by this tribe so yes, it’s permanent. How could you do this?”

  “Why are you asking if I’m getting married? I mean,” uncertainty crept into her voice, “I’m not marrying one of them, am I? This wasn’t exactly planned, you know. I don’t remember anyone asking me, all they did was give me something to eat and then I was so relaxed I wasn’t really taking much in.”

  Xander pointed to one of the creatures outside. “You let him take you in, you ate his food – what were you thinking of?”

  “Oh yes, of course, how stupid of me. Naturally I should have just stayed where I was in the middle of nowhere and made life easy on everyone. It would have saved you the trouble of dropping me back on Earth. I’m so sorry for being so selfish. Why are you here anyway?”

  “Thought I’d come and give you away, can’t resist a good party. WHY DO YOU THINK I’M HERE?”

  “There’s no need to shout. You can just explain that there’s been a mistake and we’ll go. They didn’t understand me when I tried asking them to help me leave.”

  Xander took a deep breath. “By accepting his help in saving your life you became his fiancée. It doesn’t matter what you try telling them, in their culture it’s a done deal.”

  Sarah looked out of the tent at one of the creatures lumbering past. It really did look like a black lobster. “He’s not really my type. What do we do?”

  “The only way that ownership can be transferred is by fighting for possession. I’ll challenge him, but I swear that the next time you get yourself into one of these situations you’re on your own.” He turned to leave.

  Sarah looked at his back and then looked at the considerably larger Namdols walking around outside and sat down despondently. “How are you planning on beating him? They’re all huge! Are you going to let him choke on your bones or something?”

  Xander, who had been thinking along the same lines, stayed quiet for a moment and stood gazing out of the tent. OK, if I had known this was going to happen what would my plan have been? Another giant lumbering beast walked by; each footfall made the walls shudder. I would probably have planned to avoid this situation. Out loud he said, “You’re my responsibility and it’s my duty to look after you. If things do turn out badly though, follow the crew to the landing site and head back to the ship.” On his way to the door he looked at her and tried to smile. “Who knows, maybe I can find a weakness?”

  The ground shook again as the Namdol returned from whatever errand he had been sent on, watched by Sarah. Out of all the weaknesses the hulking beast could have possessed, a
soft spot for kittens, a craving for nougat or picking wild flowers, she would have bet everything she owned that his weakness didn’t include muscle wastage.

  Xander walked out without his facial mask, went up to Sarah’s betrothed and gave a toothy grin while pointing his thumb at him. The challenge was accepted.

  Sarah stood nervously chewing her fingernails as the two fighters circled each other. They had both stripped to the waist. The Namdol’s body, with its large pincers and chest rippling with muscles looked fearsome while Xander looked toned but pale. She turned to Brelt. “Has he done this before?”

  Brelt was wringing a tissue. “They fight to the death so I’d have to say no.”

  “Where’s Garet? He’s usually first on the scene when anything exciting happens, isn’t he?”

  “He fell down a hill and found a bees’ nest. For some reason he decided to try and drink the honey out of it and they attacked him. He was fine for about an hour and then remembered that he was allergic to bee stings so had to be bussed back to the ship.”

  “Did he say why he thought it was a good idea to drink honey?”

  “Apparently he thought it might be alcoholic; he has the craziest ideas sometimes!”

  “Um, yes, crazy.” As the Namdol and Xander passed them Sarah again noticed the burn on his back. “Do you think Xander has a plan?”

  “I’m guessing he’s planning on staying alive.”

  “Well obviously, but how do you think he’s going to do that?”

  Brelt ripped a corner of her tissue. “The Namdols are really heavy sleepers, if he can keep him busy until it gets dark there’s a possibility that he’ll just go to sleep.”

  The hot midday sun beat down on them.

  The Namdol stood in front of him and raised his huge pincers out sideways crying defiance. Xander raised his arms, looked up and did the same. He couldn’t help noticing that the Namdol’s battle cry sounded more impressive.

  From under the Namdol’s arms talons appeared.

  Xander swore. “This was definitely not one of my better ideas.”

  The two circled each other slowly. As they went around Xander picked up a long stick and held it up like a club. The Namdol sneered and smashed one arm into the ground causing tremors and knocking Xander off his feet. The Namdol charged and Xander dodged out of the way. As the beast leaped into the space just vacated, Xander brought his club down as hard as possible. The wood splintered off its back and the Namdol brought his arm up and knocked what remained out of Xander’s hand. The Namdol hit out with his other arm and slammed into Xander, throwing him up, slicing his arm with a talon. He landed heavily but was on his feet in seconds. Xander gave out a cry and rushed the Namdol so that he connected his head with the hard stomach at high speed. The Namdol smiled and lifted Xander by the back of his trousers, legs still going around, up to his face, before throwing him in the air.

  As he hit the ground heavily Brelt and Sarah clutched each other. “The bastard’s just playing with him!” cried Brelt as the Namdol started raining blows on Xander.

  “Come on Xander, you can take him!” screamed Sarah in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Xander smacked into a tree and slowly slid down. Brelt stared up into the sky, a questioning look on her face. She nudged Sarah who was watching as Xander planted a left hook and winced in pain as it ricocheted off.

  Kaor fighter planes jetted into view. Brelt recognised the leading one as Derek’s and punched the air. “Yes!”

  The Namdol had seen them too and held Xander to him so the fighters lacked a clean target. With the last shreds of his strength, Xander tried elbowing and kicking the creature. He started to go blue as the Namdol began to squeeze.

  The fighters flew low then circled back. On Derek’s command they released plumes of thick smoke used for displays that blocked out the sunlight.

  As darkness fell over the village the sound of steady night breathing and collapsing Namdols drifted over them. Sarah thought she could hear running feet and as the smoke began to clear she felt a push to her stomach and found herself airborne on Xander’s shoulder. “This would be the running part - GO!”

  In his cockpit Derek smiled to himself before circling back to dump more smoke on the tribe.

  Xander dropped Sarah lightly on the soft ground when they got to the take-off site. Wincing, he put a slightly bloody arm around Sarah’s shoulders.

  “This doesn’t mean that I don’t think you’re still more trouble than you’re worth, you understand.”

  Sarah picked herself up. “Absolutely, I understand completely.” She looked at him. ”You’re bleeding.”

  “Since you joined us I find that I’m getting used to being in various states of discomfort.” He found a spare tunic and gingerly pulled it over his head. “I suppose it will give Med-crew something to do. I’d hate them to think that I didn’t include them. Do me a favour though and wait until I’ve dealt with the paperwork for this before you go on any more unscheduled day trips?”

  “Thank you. Again. This really wasn’t deliberate; I honestly don’t get into so much trouble usually.” She leaned up and quickly kissed his cheek. “I think I probably need to make this one up to you.”

  “Really?” His eyes flickered over her briefly and he put his hand on her arm. “Sarah, I have to tell you something. I’m… so sorry but Monty didn’t make it.” He spoke with a soft voice as her face seemed to shut down and tears welled in her eyes. ”I think he must have had heart failure; he led us to where we could see you and then he just went to sleep. He’d run for miles. It was very peaceful and I’m sure he didn’t feel a thing. We carried him with us for the last part of the way; he’s over there if you want to see him.”

  She walked in the direction he had pointed, feeling nothing. Monty lay motionless on a blanket and she kneeled down and stroked his fur. The crew stopped what they were doing and tried not to look emotional as Sarah fell down, put her head against his side and her body was wracked with sobs. She sat up suddenly.

  Xander rushed up and put his arms around her, pulling her away from Monty’s inert body. “Sshh”, he crooned. “It’s OK.”

  Her body stiffened. “No, it’s not bloody OK! I thought my world had ended and look at him! How could you do that to me?” She shouted at Xander. “Can’t you tell the difference between sleep and death?”

  Xander looked over at the dog that had not moved for the last three hours. “Sarah, I know you really want to believe this but you have to let him go.”

  “He’s just sleeping!” She tried to go to him but Xander held her back as the crew gently lifted the dog and put him on a stretcher, covering his body with a sheet. “Don’t cover him up, he hates being in dark enclosed spaces. Let me go! Let go of me!” Sarah brought her knee up and connected with parts of Xander that doubled him over in pain. She flung off the sheet and lifted up Monty’s head so that it was facing her.

  “Monty, get up, there’s a good dog. Heel.”

  The big dog opened its eyes and stretched, yawning. He got to his feet and leaned into her side adoringly. As she struggled to stay upright she looked witheringly at Xander before walking away, with Monty padding next to her.

  “No, really it’s fine,” muttered Xander sarcastically. “No problem saving your life at all, my pleasure. Sure I was beaten senseless but don’t mention it. Really, you just carry on, I’m sure I’ll stop bleeding by the time we get back to the ship.” The next posting, he swore to himself, is going to be at a desk.

  As the crew arrived back at the ship Simon was waiting for Sarah. He went over to her and gave her a hug. “You’re OK! I’ve been so worried about you!”

  “Still here, thanks to Xander. He fought one of the Namdols and won!”

  Xander, hobbled off the bus and walked over to her, “I wouldn’t say won exactly, more like tricked successfully. Still, whatever works, I guess. I’m going to get cleaned up and get on with some proper work. Simon, good to see that you’re looking better, and so quickly.” />
  “Ah, well, you have an excellent Med-crew on board.” He beamed at him. “I feel as good as new. Sarah, we ought to celebrate and I have just the thing. It’s about lunchtime now but I have plans for us for dinner, if you’re interested?” Simon put his arm around her shoulders and led her back to her pod.

  “I’m not sure, Simon, I feel totally exhausted and I probably ought to talk to Xander about one or two things as well.” She suddenly felt cold.

  “I won’t take no for an answer. I’ll see you about eight-ish at your pod. I can promise you an experience you’ve never even dreamed of.”

  Xander could hear Sarah wavering but it was obvious that Simon wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Inexplicably he felt angry. He felt a presence on his right and saw that Brelt was hovering next to him, also watching the two walk off together.

  “Of course, coming from the same planet he’s bound to be a comfort to her,” he said, and then wondered why he’d said anything at all.

  The woman nodded silently. “She’s interesting, isn’t she?”

  “I suppose.” He turned sideways and felt a sharp pain in his torso. Broken rib was his first guess.

  “There’s something about her that draws you in, isn’t there?”

  A wave of tiredness flooded his body and his mind. “There’s something there all right. I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone to cause this much trouble before.”

  “And I don’t think I’ve ever known you to go to this much trouble for anyone before. Don’t look at me like that, Xander, it’s just an observation. Looks like you could do with going to Med-crew yourself.” Brelt gave him a soft smile and moved off.