by Lianne Simon
Melanie understands. Melanie, the mother of my children. Melanie, my one true love. I take a deep breath and start my pitch. “Melanie and I are getting married. I’d like your blessing.”
Almost apologetic, he shakes his head. “I wish the surrogacy had worked out. The best thing for everyone involved now is to find a proper home for the babies.”
I close my eyes and pray that God will grant my father an understanding heart. “They’re my children, Daddy. What would you do if someone you loved more than life itself was pregnant with your babies?”
Only the ticking of the wall clock disturbs the silence as Daddy’s face grows somber. He married Mum over his parents’ objections when she was pregnant with me.
He glances away before speaking. “I’m not blind to the happiness you two shared in the hospital. But your mother and I want you to move on with your recovery.” A painful hardness spreads across his face. “You’ve made no progress this week. I was going to send you to a rehabilitation center in Richmond, but your mother thinks a hospital in Cambridge will be better. You’ll have company there.”
“Ethan.”
“He’s agreed to visit you daily beginning next week.”
“When do I leave?”
“Tomorrow. Your flight departs an hour after Melanie’s.”
“But I don’t love Ethan, Daddy.”
“I know.” He walks around the desk and pulls me into one of his giant teddy bear hugs. “Give him—and your heart—one last chance though, will you?”
No. “Let me say a proper goodbye to Melanie, then.”
Daddy’s gentle frown sums up his opinion of my relationship with her. “Do whatever you must. But make this the end of it.”
I rush back to Melanie’s room, but she’s not there. Not in the quiet of the solarium. Not under the fair sky and winter sun of the garden. Not in the dark warmth of the den. Nowhere in the barren wilderness of my life.
Melanie
Packing doesn’t take long. The Welles bought me a bunch of maternity clothes, but I keep only my old jeans, some tops, and a couple of dresses. I stuff them all into the fancy shoulder bag Dani bought me.
Somebody took the Cinderella dress, probably downstairs to storage. No way the thing would fit into my bag, anyhow. And I don’t need fancy stuff.
With soap, hot water, and some petroleum jelly, I finally get the wedding band off my finger. I almost leave it on the dresser, but then figure I should give the ring back to Dani. I owe the girl that much.
I don’t buy any of those happily-ever-after endings. Once I leave Virginia, I’ll never see Dani again. Mrs. Welles will make damned sure of that. So I stand in the doorway of the little room I call my home and study every last detail.
Drops patter against the metal roof—the beginnings of one more winter storm. I walk over to the window seat and scan the barren garden. The old walnut tree waves an arm at me—a solemn goodbye. Now and forever.
No more dreams, but I’ll have memories. I nod once to my old friend and walk out into the hallway. I ease the door shut and make my way to the kitchen.
They all stare, but nobody greets me. Not even Jake smiles. I get a great big bear hug from Mr. Welles, but his eyes hold some faraway sadness. Mrs. Welles says her polite goodbyes and lies about wishing I would stay.
Miss Danièle Aileana Welles is dressed to the nines for her trip to see Ethan and his mother, but her face has lost the joy we shared the other night. Her eyes say nothing at all about her promise—Daniel’s old promise—to marry me. Like that’ll ever happen.
And the Marine—wonder he doesn’t break his teeth, he clenches his jaw so hard.
Are we all in some stupid soap opera or what? Glad I’m bustin’ outta this place.
I follow Cooper to the Escalade, slide into the back seat, and chill while Dani hugs her parents and all. As soon as the girl slams the door, Cooper starts the car, and we drive out the fancy iron gates. Victoria Springs Manor fades into the distance. And into my past. Dead. Like everything else in my world. Never to return.
“Don’t give up on your dreams. We’ll be back here someday. Together.” Dani’s eyes urge me to trust her. To let myself get burned one last time.
“I’m all out of hope.” I put my wedding band into the palm of her hand and close her fingers around the ring. “No more impossible dreams.”
Dani must read the pain in my eyes, because she draws me close and pulls my head against her shoulder. “Be patient, love. A few days more.”
I snuggle as close as the twins will allow. Just hold me.
“Can we stop at the DMV?”
I peek out of my hiding place to see Dani’s hand on the intercom button.
“What do you need?” Cooper’s voice.
“I still have the dorm address on my license. And I should cancel the motorcycle tags.”
“All right.”
Silence again. I burrow back into the softness of her shoulder. Time slides away till a steady thump-thump takes over from the asphalt rumble. I poke my head up again. Yeah, the old bridge across the river.
We stop a few minutes later, and Cooper drops us off in front of a brick building. “Don’t be all day.”
Department of Motor Vehicles—I follow Dani inside and mosey over to a chair. She goes straight to the nearest open position. Soon the girl has everybody who works in the place collected around her. Like she’s a celebrity or something. When she points at me, they all gape like they’ve never seen a pregnant girl before. Yeah. Nod. Whatever. Like I care.
Finally, they wave her over to a camera. Somebody musta complained about her hat, because she pulls it off and shows them where the pressure sensor was. A small group gathers again before some big shot sends them all scurrying.
Dani waves her new license at me like she’s never had one before. About time. “What was all the drama for?”
“I didn’t want them to take a new photo until my hair grew out again.”
“Yeah. Guess not.”
A few minutes later, we’re back on the road. Two hours, maybe three, before my flight leaves. I press my head into her shoulder again and snake a hand around her back.
Two hours, maybe three, and I’ll never feel her touch again. Dani unbuttons the front of my dress and spreads warm fingers across my baby bump.
Two hours, maybe three—somebody weeps like a little kid.
The girl kisses my cheek, then my ear, and pulls me tight.
We stay in our own little time warp, oblivious to the outside world. Till the Escalade stops, and Cooper opens the door. Dani kisses me one last time, steps out of the car, and offers me a hand.
The girl acts a little strange when we check our luggage, insisting she use her phone for the boarding pass rather than the paper one Jake printed for her.
When we get to the security checkpoint, Dani gives Cooper a big hug. “Thanks. I’ll accompany Melanie to her gate.”
Cooper’s grin reminds me of my old high school principal—or a prison guard. The Marine holds up a boarding pass. “I promised your mother I’d see you both aboard your flights.”
Bitch.
Dani shoots me an exasperated glance, but gets in line.
A couple of minutes later, we find our way to B15—DL2452 to Atlanta. I plop down into a chair beside Dani. The girl belongs in bed. “You okay?”
“Yes, love. A wee bit knackered is all.”
What gives your mother the right to crush our dreams?
The girl starts playing with her phone.
Our last hour together, and all you can do is look at the Internet? What is wrong with you? “What am I gonna do, Dani?”
She glances up, but keeps right on typing. “You’ll be fine, love.”
The money Mom gave me won’t last long enough. I can’t mooch off my sister for the rest of my life. And I don’t wanna give up our babies.
Way too soon, the airline lady announces our departure. “Anyone needing assistance may board at this time.” She looks right at me. Lik
e I might need help or something.
First Class boards without me. It’s not like anybody’ll take my seat. Group Two bunches up around the entrance while Group One files down the ramp. After a while, nobody remains but me.
“Final boarding call, Gate B15, flight 2452 to Atlanta.”
Oh great. Here come the tears.
I’m done. I hop up out of my seat and hoist my bag over one shoulder. Maybe I can make it down the ramp before I have my breakdown.
Dani grabs my arm and drags me to a stop. “Not even a kiss goodbye?”
“No.” Not after you ignored me for the past hour.
She kisses my forehead. And my nose. Violet eyes study me, waiting for an answer.
I’ve never kissed a girl before, not even an intersex one.
Not fair to count Daniel, you know.
Okay, so he had buds of breasts. And a small vagina. But he had a little post between his legs. And he said he was a boy. Even if only for pretend.
He’s gone, and you’re here. Yeah, well, I’ll show you what you’ll be missing.
I slink my arms inside Dani’s jacket, around her waist, and pull us closer till we breathe as one. I kiss my intersex girl—the father of my babies—like we’ll never see each other again. ‘Cause we won’t.
Nothing else even exists.
Dani blinks first, and gasps for air.
My feelings for her bleed down my cheeks. “Come with me. Please.” Otherwise, I’m gonna die.
“I intend to.” She wipes my cheeks dry, then nudges me toward the ramp.
The airline attendant checks my boarding pass. Dani hands the lady her cell to scan.
“Danièle?” Cooper strides up to us and grabs the girl’s wrist. “What are you doing?”
She never gets mad. Ever. But Dani’s glare leaves ice crystals hanging in the air. “Unhand me.”
“Your mother suspected you might run. If you leave, you’re on your own. Entirely. Even the trust will cut you off.”
Dani, are you really gonna give up everything for me? I open my mouth to protest, but somewhere deep inside enough hope survives to still my objections. We’ll be okay. Somehow.
Dani slips her phone into the Marine’s shirt pocket. Her debit and credit cards soon follow. The girl shakes free from Cooper’s grip and takes my hand. “Let’s go, love. We’ve a wedding to attend.”
Chapter 30
Dànaidh
We descend through broken storm clouds into a rainy Atlanta afternoon. Droplets scurry down the window next to me while our plane taxis to the gate. Melanie snuggles against my shoulder and waits as impatient travelers jostle for their carry-on luggage and work their way down the aisle.
After the last person disappears, I follow Melanie out of the aircraft. We take the airport train from the terminal toward baggage claim. A familiar face springs from the crowd waiting outside security. Melanie shrieks and runs on ahead to greet her mother.
By the time we reach baggage claim, my hip throbs, so I collapse into a chair and wait for my luggage. Melanie sits next to me. “You okay?”
“Yes. Just worn out.”
“Yeah. Me too. My legs are swollen and this weird pain runs down my leg from my butt. Mom says that’s normal for a pregnant girl.”
“I’d like a word with you, princess.” Randy steps out of the crowd, his arms crossed and his face a battle of fierce emotions.
How did you get here? There wasn’t near enough time.
Mrs. Fairbairn grins at me from behind him. “The girls have already won, you know.”
My uncle—not quite the gentleman at the moment—scowls at her.
I retrieve an envelope from my purse and hand my uncle a copy of Dr. Pierson’s affidavit. “Exhibit one, counselor.” ...having fathered children...
Melanie eyes me with angry curiosity. She never did like my keeping secrets from her. I unfold a copy of my new birth certificate and give it to Randy. “Exhibit two.” Dànaidh Ailean Welles. “Proof the children are mine. And that I’m legally male.”
My uncle spends more time than necessary inspecting the documents. Almost, he keeps emotions from his poker face. Almost. “I doubt these will sway your mother.”
I slide the papers from his grasp and pass them to Melanie without breaking eye contact. “Perhaps you can persuade Mum, then. If she wishes further contact with her grandchildren or me or Melanie, she’ll relent.”
“Very well. Send me copies of both of those papers. As well as your marriage license when you get one. The trust will continue to cover medical and educational expenses.”
“Thanks. We’d love to see you at the wedding Saturday.”
“I’m in town for a conference, but I’ll see what I can do.” After taking a dozen steps toward the exit, he returns and hugs me. And Melanie. “Congratulations. Both of you.”
Melanie turns to me after he leaves. I expect anger, but find in her eyes only tender concern. “Dani, what happens the first time you have to show ID? Huh?”
“My driver’s license still says female.”
“And when they find out you changed your birth certificate?”
“They already know that, love. My legal sex is male, but Dr. Pierson filled out a form that says my gender’s female, so the DMV kept that on my license.”
“Somebody’s not right in the head.”
“Lots of people have a mismatch between sex and gender.”
“You don’t.”
“No. I suppose not. But Virginia won’t put hermaphrodite on my paperwork.”
Melanie eyes me like I’m crazy to even mention that.
Yes, for your sake I’m glad my license says female. But I’m not ashamed of being intersex.
Melanie
Beatrice and Fred have a feast waiting for us when we arrive—food on parade. Hors d’oeuvres and sweets overrun the kitchen countertops. I grab a sausage roll and crash on the couch in the living room. I close my eyes and relish the quiet.
“Is that any way to greet your favorite sister?” Hands on her hips, Beatrice stands in front of me, trying hard to appear upset.
I hop up off the couch long enough to hug her. “I gotta keep the little ones fed, don’t I?”
Greg runs into the room, screaming, and jumps up on the couch. “Can Joey and me build a fort again?”
My sister plucks him off the couch. “Tomorrow. Okay? And no shoes on the sofa.”
“Aw, Mom. Aunt Melanie’s here. Me and Joey gotta sleep somewhere.”
“She and Danièle are staying on the new sofa in the den. It folds out into a bed. Remember?”
“Oh, yeah. Can I have one of them little pies?”
“Yes. But only one. I don’t want you ruining your supper.”
Dani strolls into the room, hugs my sister, and collapses on the couch beside me. “Your mother would like a few minutes alone with us. Whenever you’re ready.”
“Now’s fine.” I struggle to my feet again and follow her into Mom’s room.
Somebody painted the walls since the last time I saw the place. And banished the scent of death. Maybe even replaced the carpet.
My mother pulls the door closed. She nods at Dani, but takes my hands in hers. “You’re sure you want to get married?”
The tight ginger curls covering Mom’s head bring a snarky grin to my face. “Yes, ma’am.”
She hesitates a moment. In surprise at my politeness, probably. “All right. Dani asked me to arrange things for you two. Pastor Hawkins has agreed to perform the ceremony at the park.”
“The one with the lake? Isn’t that place private?”
“The company’s agreed to let us use it this Saturday. We can try to find something else if you’d rather.”
“No, Mom. The park’s awesome.”
“Good. Shall we invite the Welles family then?” While Dani and I gawk at her, she picks up her phone and dials, then puts the call on speakerphone.
“Hello, Keela.”
“Are the girls safe?”
“Yes,
they made it here just fine.”
“Then you’ll send Danièle back home?”
“They’re old enough now to make their own decisions. And what’s so wrong with their dream, anyway?”
“You’d allow your daughter to marry another woman?”
“I’m stage four, Keela. I’ll be gone soon. Our daughters are getting married Saturday. If you want them—or your grandchildren—in your life, you need to be here.”
“Grandchildren? Yours certainly. Not mine.”
“Like it or not, Danièle’s their biological father. Randolph recognizes the twins as heirs. Why don’t you call him?”
“I most certainly shall.”
“See you at the wedding, then.”
Mom sets her phone on the nightstand. “She’ll come.”
“What’s stage four?” Fear runs down my throat and pools in my stomach.
“I’m sorry, honey, but the cancer’s back.”
No. The air freezes in my lungs
Breathe.
“You can do chemo again.”
“It’s spread too far for that.” She pulls me into a gentle hug. “After your wedding, I’m moving to Saint Andrews Island to stay with an old friend.”
“No, Mom. You can live with Dani and me.”
“I want you and Beatrice to remember me the way I am now.”
“You gotta at least let Dani and me visit when the babies are born. Or come see us.”
Mom’s eyes glisten with unshed tears.
The doctors don’t give you that long, do they? “It’s okay to dream, Mom.”
After a moment, a faint hope lights her eyes. “If I’m still alive—yes, I’d like that.”
“I love you.” I close my eyes and bury my face in her shoulder.
Yeah, Mom. I’ve got Dani. But I’m sure gonna miss you.
Chapter 31
Melanie
A lone Canada goose leads her yearlings across the withered grass and splashes into the water. Fish play in the shallows. Maybe bluegill—Dad would know for sure. Winter sunshine spills through the pines and sparkles off the lake. I pull up my skirts and step wide of the mud. No way am I gonna let my Cinderella gown get dirty.