by DC Renee
“Idiots,” he muttered, and I smiled because technically, he was one of those idiots. “And college?” he asked.
“When you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see for long enough, it takes away something in you. It makes you shy and scared, and it’s hard to let go. I don’t know if the guys here somehow read that vibe or what, but yeah … I mean, I’ve gotten much more attention now, but no one is knocking down my door.”
“Fuck them,” he said with conviction. “Fuck those morons. Their loss,” he said. “Damn,” he said as if he was awestruck, “that makes this so much more special, Gen. This, me and you,” he said as he pointed his finger back and forth between us. “The fact that you’re giving me a chance and letting me in. I just … I’m the lucky asshole who gets to be with you. Thank you,” he added more quietly.
I was embarrassed again, but for a different reason. I turned my head away so he wouldn’t see how bright red I had become.
“No, don’t,” he said as he brought his hand under my chin and gently pulled my face so I’d look at him. “Don’t look away from me. Don’t ever hide. You’re so beautiful it hurts to look at you sometimes.” It was cheesy, but the way he said it made me feel like he’d been the first to ever utter those words. “Your looks … my God, Gen, you are fucking hot, but it’s the whole package. You’re smart, you’re funny, you’re easygoing, so sweet … You’re the real deal.”
“Those words … they’d make any girl feel special, even me, but coming from you … You can’t possibly imagine the enormity of them. You don’t know how much it means for me to hear you say that.” He’d never understand. Not in a million years would he understand what I was trying to tell him, and I wouldn’t want him to. I wouldn’t want him to know who I was. But I had meant what I said. His words … They chipped away, just a little, at all the words lodged in my memory that he’d said before. That he thought I was beautiful meant so much more than if anyone else had said them. And he’d never get that.
“Then I’ll tell you how amazing you are every fucking day, Gen. Every day,” he repeated. “Because you are …” He trailed off. “You’re truly amazing, and I consider this the best day of my damn life. But I know every day from here on out will be even better because you just agreed to be mine,” he said with a giant smile that had my own lips curling. “And just so you know, I’m yours.” I kissed him. I couldn’t help it. My body clearly had a mind of its own, not listening to my rational brain telling me to slow the fuck down.
“I didn’t say those things to push anything with you,” Cam said when we broke apart. “I only want what you’re ready to give whenever you’re ready to give it to me. Just being with you is and will always be more than enough for me. We’ll take it slowly,” he said in case I didn’t understand what he was getting at. “We’ll do whatever feels right for you.”
And damn, my fucking traitorous heart melted again. So what did my logical mind say in response this time? Kiss him. And so I did. And I let everything else float away as our lips intertwined as one.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
Past
Cameron
One day earlier …
ASSHOLES LIKE ME didn’t get the girl. Maybe in fairy tales, possibly in dreams, probably in movies, certainly in books, but in reality? It didn’t happen. If a guy was worthless, what girl would want him? If a guy was a player? The good girls stayed away. If the guy was a douche? No respectable girl would come close to him. But I was all those things, and I had somehow gotten the girl.
My life was shit. I was shit. Yet someone seemed to smile down upon me every so often. It didn’t happen often; I could count the number of times on one hand. First, when I was enrolled in football, and then when I got really good at it. Second, when Charles was locked up. Third, when I got to transfer schools and become starting quarterback. Fourth, when I met Gen because simply meeting her was definitely divine intervention. And now, the last finger—getting her to be mine.
All in all, I’d consider myself a lucky son of a bitch.
If she knew the man I was deep down, if she knew the coward I had hidden so well, and if she knew the filth that lived inside me … I didn’t think she’d stick around. I wouldn’t blame her if she ran far and fast, but that was a part of my life I never wanted to uncover to anyone, especially not Gen.
I wasn’t the greatest guy even then, but I had worked really hard to try to be a better man and someone who my dad might have been proud of had he lived to see me grow up. And even then, I didn’t think I was good enough for her, let alone if she knew my true colors.
But like I already said before, I was a selfish bastard, and I couldn’t go another day without Gen being my one and only. And what do you know? She fucking agreed.
It was like winning the lottery, landing the jackpot, finding the hidden treasure, and finding out Santa Claus was real all in one.
And her lips? My God … I’d had the pleasure—no, the luxury—of tasting them on a few occasions, but knowing they belonged to me and only me … fuck. No words described that feeling. Simply magnificent.
And then I seriously felt like I’d died and gone to heaven when I found out she was a virgin. I still didn’t understand how. Guys had to have been deaf, dumb, and blind not to snag her before. Either they were the biggest fucking dumbasses ever or Gen had been oblivious, but either way, she was pure … in every sense of the word. I knew it made me an asshole, but I instantly dreamed of the day she’d give me that precious gift. Not that I’d ever force her or pressure her, but I was a guy, and a guy could hope and dream.
The most important part, though, was that I was the first guy she’d let into her life. Did you know what that did to a guy? What kind of ego boost that was? And not in an asshole kind of way, but the proud caveman sort of way. She was mine, and I would do everything in my power to be worthy of that honor. I just hoped I’d succeed.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
Present
Genevieve
“I’M STEALING YOU all day Sunday,” Cam told me early the next day.
“Um … okay,” I responded. “Do I get to know why?” I asked.
“Nope. It’s a surprise,” he said, and I could hear his smile through the phone. I could even picture him winking.
“Someone’s happy,” Amanda said as I hung up the phone. “I guess love will do that to a girl,” she teased.
When I came home after Cam and I had made things official, the first thing out of Amanda’s mouth was, “Well?”
“I guess I have a boyfriend,” I said with a shrug and smirk.
She jumped up and down, squealed in my ear, and then hugged me way too tightly.
“I’m so happy for you,” she declared.
“Yep, things are finally starting to pick up. Now he just needs to fall in love then I crush his heart.”
“Okay … that is so not what I was hoping you were going to say,” she responded dryly.
“Why not? It was the plan, right?” I asked.
“The plan doesn’t put that shit-eating grin on your face. I think maybe you’re starting to confuse the past and the present. Time to let go of the past and live today, Gen. I hate to admit it, but maybe there is no Tam, just Cam. Although, I highly doubt you’re going to get me to stop calling him Tam. It’s just too much fun,” she joked.
“We’re sticking to the plan.”
“Then I hope you don’t get hurt.”
“It’s not me who has to worry about that,” I told her. She looked at me like I had grown horns. Then I told her everything that happened, and I could see it took every ounce of her willpower not to tell me I needed to just enjoy Cam as a boyfriend.
“Cam said he wants to spend Sunday with me,” I told her, coming back to the present. “Wonder what he has planned?” I mused. “You wouldn’t happen to know, would you?” I asked.
“This time, I really don’t. But I bet it’s something good,” she said. I hated to admit she was probably right.
The res
t of the week was actually more or less the same as the previous semester had been. I saw Cam for coffee, for lunch, and for dinner. We watched a movie or two. We even hung out with my friends one day. The only difference was that instead of standing with an appropriate “friend” distance between us, his arm was always draped around me or he was touching me somehow. I’d be lying if I said it didn’t feel kind of good, especially when girls looked at me like I had somehow won the golden ticket. And the bonus was the kissing. I might hate Cam—or Tyler—but his kisses made me lightheaded, and after all my years of hell, I deserved to have those kisses.
When Sunday rolled around, I was up and dressed early.
“Okay, Cam, spill. What are we doing all day?” I asked when he picked me up.
“First is breakfast,” he said.
“And then?”
“And then you’ll have to wait and see.” He smiled, and I playfully hit his shoulder. He walked me to his car, and I gave him a curious look. “It’s not within walking distance,” he told me. I shrugged and got in.
Thirty minutes later, we were at a restaurant on the beach. Literally. Our seats were by the glass overlooking the water below. We were also the only ones in the place.
“Is this place closed?” I asked.
“Technically,” he responded with a nod. “They open at eleven for brunch.” It was only nine.
“Then how did we get in?” I asked.
“The owner is a USC football fan. I gave him a couple of tickets to the next game.”
“The perks of being a star quarterback,” I responded.
“The perk is that I was able to get this place just for us.”
We ate breakfast, taking our time and enjoying the beautiful view. It was still warm in Los Angeles, even by the beach.
When we had finished eating and paid, we drove to the Getty Villa. It was a museum on the beach. It had been Getty’s home, but it held just as many treasures as other museums. We walked hand in hand as we admired the paintings, sculptures, and gardens. It was beautiful.
“What more could there be?” I asked when we were done.
“We’ve got a jam-packed day,” he told me.
“Why?” I asked curiously, wondering why he was trying to fit so much in such a short time.
“Because this is our first date.”
“But we’ve been hanging out together almost every day for months now, mostly alone,” I pointed out.
“Those weren’t dates,” he stated like I should have known. “Those were two friends hanging out.”
“And this week?” I asked.
“This week was a boyfriend and girlfriend hanging out. Today is all about me showing you that you’re special, and special girls get special dates,” he said with a wink and a chuckle. I didn’t think he meant to laugh out loud, but I’m sure he couldn’t help it. His choice of words was so darn cheesy that I laughed too. “And besides,” he added, “we have a lot of dates to make up for … All those guys who didn’t take you out. Today is to make up for them.”
What do you think my heart did? You guessed it. It fucking melted.
He took me to a fish and chips place on the beach where you ordered in one spot and ate under a covered patio. You could smell the sea while you ate the fresh food. It was delicious, and we scarfed it down, laughing as we got sauce on our faces.
Then we went to an art exhibit on the beach. I didn’t even know they had them, but apparently, they popped up every so often, and local artists showcased their stuff. It was cool, and I was shocked to find that Cam and I had similar taste in art.
He hadn’t been kidding when he said our day was jam packed. After the art exhibit, we stayed along the coast, driving a little closer to Venice where we rented bicycles and rode along the beach before strolling down Venice Boulevard with our bikes by our sides. We took in the street vendors, the musicians, the art, and the insane variety of people. We stopped at several vendors to look at their displays.
“Do you like it?” Cam asked as I gazed at a simple elephant keychain.
“I like elephants,” I told him.
“Why?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“Because they’re considered good luck in many cultures. Not to mention they’re big but gentle and can be aggressive when they need to be. Just kind of nice traits to have.” Sort of like you. I didn’t tell him that, though.
“Hmm,” he said. “Never thought of them as such.” Ironic that he hadn’t.
After Venice, we returned our bikes and then walked around the beach for a little while, shoes in hands, feet at the water’s edge. We didn’t even talk all that much, but we didn’t need to. We walked in comfortable silence. I had often heard you knew someone was meant to be in your life when you could sit beside them and not say a word and still feel right with that. My mind drifted to that, but I tried to fight that thought. It didn’t work. I stole glances at Cam and wondered for brief moments if maybe he was meant to be in my life. But then I told myself that he was—but simply so I could break his heart and get the revenge I needed to satisfy my own broken heart.
After the walk, we drove away from the beach. He took me to a restaurant near LA Live right across from the Staples Center. I wondered why we had gone all the way there, but my curiosity was short-lived. Cam had been practically bouncing in his seat throughout dinner.
“I can’t keep it in any longer,” he said like a child with a secret. It was endearing, and I couldn’t help but smile.
“Keep what in?” I asked.
“You didn’t notice who’s playing tonight across the street?” he asked. I honestly hadn’t. I had been too wrapped up in how wonderful the day had been going and how much I had enjoyed it. He must have read my confusion on my face. “Imagine Dragons,” he said.
“Holy shit, I love them,” I told him.
“I know,” he said with a grin so wide it rivaled a clown’s. “That’s why we’re going there after dinner,” he announced.
“You didn’t,” I said. “You didn’t,” I repeated. He kept smiling. “But how did you know?” I asked.
“Gen, I’ve known you for almost nine months now. You think I don’t pay attention to what you like? You listen to them religiously and know all the words to their songs. I’ve actually had these tickets for a while. I was going to give them to you before, but I wanted to surprise you.”
“Before we started dating?” I asked.
“Yeah,” he admitted, suddenly looking shy.
“Oh, my God, thank you,” I said and jumped out of my seat as I ran around the table and bent down to hug him and give him a kiss. “Thank you,” I repeated.
“Just being with you is thanks enough,” he said.
And then we finished eating and rocked out to Imagine Dragons. They killed it. Best concert ever.
When the night was finally over, and Cam dropped me off at home, I kissed him with everything I had, hoping I was thanking him once again with my lips.
“This was the best night ever,” I told. “Definitely the best date ever,” I added. I hadn’t said those words to bait him. They had been one hundred percent true.
“How would you know?” he asked teasingly, but I felt a bit of insecurity coming through his voice.
“I know, Cam,” I told him, “because you didn’t just take me on a date. You took me on a journey. And you picked every location with care, remembering the things you knew I’d like. You paid attention . You knew me, understood me, and that speaks volumes. Thank you,” I told him, and I was thanking him for more than just a great day. By his hesitant smile, I knew he understood that.
“Good night, Cam,” I whispered against his lips. “If you ever thought you didn’t deserve a girl like me, you just proved yourself wrong. Remember that. I sure will.” And at that moment, I meant every single word.
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
Past
Cameron
Three days earlier …
“YOU’RE FUCKING WHIPPED,” Roger told me as we walked across
campus to get some food together.
“What?” I asked incredulously.
“You heard me.”
“And why the fuck would you say that?” I asked. “No, I’m not,” I added somewhat belatedly.
“You haven’t slept with anyone since you met Gen,” he pointed out.
“What are you? The pussy police? My watchdog?”
“Fuck, man, I’m not saying anything about that,” he brushed me off. “You weren’t even with the girl until this week, but I could see why she’d have you all twisted like that. Hell, I’d consider swearing off women if I got to look at her fine ass all day,” he said.
I clenched my hands at my sides, trying hard not to hit Roger for his words. “Watch it,” I said.
“Hey, hey,” he said in defense. “It was a compliment.”
“What’s your point, Rog?” I asked to stop myself from taking a swing, not liking he had checked out my girl one bit. My girl. I liked the sound of that.
“My point is that no sex, fine, understandable, but you didn’t even notice the group of girls who were practically panting for you to give them some damn attention a minute ago,” he said and pointed behind us where I turned to see the girls he’d referred to. They all looked like clones—perfect blond, big racked Barbies dying to sleep with the star quarterback simply because of his title. Exactly the type of girl I used to go for. Easy, no strings, forgot their names the next day. Roger had been right; I hadn’t even paid attention to them. Even when I wasn’t with Gen, my thoughts were on her.