by Leah Banicki
“I wonder if they actually catch anything when the crowds are this big.” I looked below and saw some large fish swimming amongst the large rocks. The water was rather peaceful on the lake today and I could see a few calm places.
“My guess is yes, but who knows. I would like to think these guys know what they are doing. But maybe they just show up and hope for the best.” Jackson’s hand in mine felt good. We both gasped as a teenage boy took a running leap off the side of the pier and did a cannonball ahead of us. We both peered over the side to make sure he didn’t land on one of the rocky areas. He was gliding through the water and enjoying the cheers from some pretty girls, he was obviously trying to impress.
“You want me to jump in Hannah?” Jackson asked and flexed his muscles like a preening youth.
“No, you impress me enough. I nearly swooned earlier today when you started chopping wood for the fire. There is something about a man chopping wood that just does a girl in.” I said blushing a deep red. Sharing my secret was fun but I was not good at flirting, this was my attempt to practice.
“Note to self, chop wood every time Hannah comes over.” He said and gave my hand a squeeze.
The walk on the pier worked well for my flirting practice. I trusted Jackson to stick with me for now. He seemed to be enjoying the attention.
* * * * *
On Sunday, Jackson and I went to church with my parents and then had dinner with them at the lodge. Ruby and Carl were out shopping with the kids and we all noticed how quiet it was. Little Kyle was a force of nature and could be loud. Tina had a few girlfriends over to the lodge for overnights and the giggling and shrieking near the pool had been a constant when they were around. It was a joyful noise, we all agreed. It sounded like summer.
“So Jackson, I notice you seem pretty smitten with my girl.” My Dad gave Jackson a pointed look, expecting a reply. I was pretty sure my face was turning purple but I remained mute, stunned and speechless.
“Yes, smitten is a mild word for it.” He smiled at me and I could tell he noticed my blush.
“Well, I need to make sure that you like her for her and not just because she was on TV. I know you are a celebrity in your own right but I cannot feel she is safe until I hear from you that you are in this relationship for the right reasons.” My Dad looked a little nauseous, I was not sure why he was grilling Jackson but I trusted my Dad to be sensible, I would let it go on for now. I looked at Jackson to see how he was handling it. His face was calm but slightly serious.
“Well, Mr. Parker, Mrs. Parker,” He nodded at my mother too, making me feel good that he was including her. “I know what you guys went through before. Watching a young man court your daughter under false pretenses.”
I saw my mother wiped away a tear, my dad nodded. Jackson continued, “I feel like Hannah and I have moved forward from friendship into this relationship naturally, as our feelings dictated the pace. There is no schedule to keep or agenda on my part but to get to know Hannah and let her get to know me. My prayers are to find a Christian woman someday who shares my faith and will be my faithful companion. If we both pray and feel that we are meant to be together than I believe God will bless this relationship we have and my dreams of that union will come true. If at some point, we come to that place in this relationship that it just isn’t a blessed union for the both of us then I think we are both sensible enough to communicate that. I am falling in love with your daughter, and she has told me that she has the same feelings. I know my intentions are honorable and I believe hers are too. I cannot promise anything outside that but I know for now I am here, by her side no matter what. I will never intentionally hurt your daughter.” Jackson took a drink of water after his speech. His hand was shaking a little. I grabbed it and gave it a squeeze after he had put the glass of water down.
He looked me in the eye and I mouthed the words ‘I love you’. He gave me a wink.
“Thank You Jackson. I think we both know that, but have so many self-doubts as parents, after seeing what we thought was a sincere young man wanting to propose to my daughter and then to watch him publicly break her heart, was more difficult than we care to admit. I know we both trust you and will give you the chance to grow in your relationship.”
My mother’s bravery was touching. I knew how much this process had taken out of her. My own anxiety a testament to how a fragile heart could not handle much strife. I was so proud of my mom.
“Well, I would love to take a dip in the pool before I expire in the sun.” I said to diffuse some stress I had built up in my chest.
I was ready for the TV-show to never be an issue again. Maybe by this time next year, I hope, I hope. I told myself.
“I will gladly join you.” My mother said. We went up to my temporary room and changed into our suits. We climbed in the cool water and let the men bond for a while. My mom spent the next hour telling me all about her garden with promises to give me a tour of the blooms next time I came over. I was so glad to indulge her and let her tell me all about it.
The end of the vacation was a bummer but I had a full week of unpacking and plans to keep away the aftervacation-doldrums. I spent my first day back with Chrissy. She helped me unpack and together we decided what to keep and what to give to Goodwill. She invaded my clothes and gladly helped me clear out a few unneeded dresses I kept from the show. I held back the green velvet dress I wore in Scotland for my own purposes. I did remember that Jackson made a few comments about it. Perhaps I could wear it on a date and create a new and better memory. A dress like that needed not go to waste though it might be a little tighter than it was on the show.
“Are you keeping the green dress for anything special or just for the memory?” Chrissy asked. The way she asked was a sign to me that we were doing better. Since her attitude had been so great lately I felt like I could share.
“Well, it actually is a good memory. It was such an amazing life moment, to feel like a princess. Lately I can start separating the memories of the show from my feelings about Anthony. Now when I think about this dress, I think about the bracelet Jackson got me to match the dress, and also about the charming people and the castle. I cannot throw out everything about the show because that would diminish other things about it too.” I saw Chrissy smile at the mention of Jackson. I went to my jewelry box that I had already unpacked and showed her the green bracelet. She smiled over the story as I told her how I messed up and kissed him before I was ready.
“I am so glad you found somebody Hannah. I have prayed so much for your happiness. Especially after I was such a fool and…” Tears sprang to her eyes and I gave her a quick hug to show her a little understanding.
“Oh hush dear, no more apologies. I know you care.” Chrissy hugged me back hard and let a few more tears fall, probably a bit grateful for the forgiveness.
I grabbed us both a cold beverage and we went back to the boxes. I enjoyed her company and she helped me over the next two days as she stayed and we made amends for our mistakes. The healing of the relationship did wonders for both of us. I sent her back to my parents with promises to let her stay with me again soon. Perhaps after my next photography trip to Florida.
“Love you Hannah, my sister.” Chrissy hugged me before leaving.
“Love you too Chrissy, Sissy.” I said back and returned the feelings. I prayed about this visit with Chrissy, but was blown away at how God had helped us work things out better than I thought it could ever be again. Forgiveness was divine indeed.
* * * * *
At dinner a few nights later I got another surprise from my parents. They had been called by the network and told that the show would be on. My dad was the one to break the news to me.
“After dinner Soulmate has a special on.” My Dad said with a straight face. He didn’t want to tell me, I could see that. I tried not to groan but failed.
“What is it now?” I said in a grumble.
“I was told it was an interview with Anthony. I figured we could record it and watch it t
ogether if you need some support.” My Dad added with a squeeze of a shoulder for good measure.
We ate dinner, my family tried to keep it light and cheery. I reminded myself a million times during the meal to keep calm, peaceful, and not let the show ruin my mood.
With a fun game of cards and a few laughs to calm me down, we settled in the living room to watch the show when it was time. I was determined to keep my anxiety down. I saw the intro for Soulmate and Randall was sitting on the famous grilling couch. I took a few deep breaths.
“Tonight on our program we will talk to Anthony Capriccio about his relationships with his fiancée Desiree, and also his feelings about the woman that got away, Hannah Parker.” I sat with my mom and held my face in my hands. I groaned aloud twice before I let my Dad hit the play button again.
“Why do we have to bring all this up again?” I asked my mother, not really expecting an answer.
“I am not sure sweetie, just thought you should see it. That way when he calls again, and I think he will, you will at least know what he wants.” She said wisely. Sometimes I was tired of being wise, I kind of wanted to overreact and give the TV show a piece of my mind. STOP STIRRING THE POT!
“So Anthony, this has been quite a year for you. You were third runner up on the Soulmate TV show and were certain you wouldn’t want anything to do with the show again, heart-broken and vocal about it at first. What made you change your mind and be, in essence, the Star of the next season?” Randall asked, he had the showman smile as always.
“Well, it wasn’t an easy decision, I was a bit raw after the first show and I knew that with the added fame, dating was going to be strange, I had girls calling me at all hours, complete strangers that were proposing to me. It was surreal and I decided to jump back on the horse again when the show called back the third time.” Anthony said. His hair had grown a little longer; he looked a bit disheveled and sad to me. I hoped he wasn’t sad but I had to let the thought go. He was not my responsibility anymore.
“The third call? What did you say the previous two times?” Randall questioned.
“I said ‘no way’ the first, and ‘I’d think about it’ was my second reply. They gave me a week or so between calls. They let me mull over it. They totally knew how to talk me into it gradually.” He grinned and I remembered that weird punch in the gut feeling that smile would always do to me. It didn’t work this time. I let out a breath I’d been holding a second, a bit grateful to have really let him go.
“So let’s talk about the final two girls. You were sharing with me before the show you have been really struggling with the hard choice you made at the end. Tell me about that last week.”
“When I was finally able to watch the show, I became aware of the personality traits of both girls when they weren’t with me. Perhaps that was the biggest issue. The fact that America got to see more of the girls than I did, behind-the-scenes, in stressful situations, in boredom, some ladies were kind and some pulled out their claws.”
“While dating Hannah we had such an amazing friendship that was building into something that was felt by me, when we were in the rainforest I broke the TV show rule by whispering to her that I was falling for her. It was true, I was and I knew from her that it was mutual.”
“You told her you loved her?” The host repeated.
“In so many words, I did. At that point in the show Desiree and I were flirting pals but she began to turn up the heat. I think she was noticing I was going through the motions on our dates. It is hard to date so many women when you have sort of decided who you want to be with.” He said this last line and his forehead began to furrow, like he was stressed about something.
“So you had decided at that point to choose Hannah as your Soulmate? It was still weeks away from the ending?” Randall asked to spur him on.
“Yes, until the visit to Desiree’s parents, I was still planning on picking Hannah. We were such a match, I was beginning to envision our lives together and we really did start making future plans after finishing the show.” He was talking fast which wasn’t like him. I was trying to ignore what he was saying, like it had no affect on me, but I felt moisture running down my cheek. Chrissy joined me on the couch and swiped it away for me.
“What happened at Desiree’s house?”
“She seduced me, short and simple. All my vows and promises smashed in a stupid night of too much wine and a competitive woman.”
“Competitive? You are saying that Desiree seduced you to win you, not to fall in love with you.” The host insinuated well. This was feeling a bit rehearsed to me.
“Yes, I look back on it now and all the suggestions and innuendo started after I began backing off. I watched the film and saw Desiree’s acting completely different on the show than she ever did on our dates.”
“So if you were in love with Hannah, why didn’t you just tell her you were sorry, and that it was a bit of slip-up? If you would have picked her at the end you could have told her that you would never do it again. It’s not that she didn’t know you were ‘dating’ other women.”
“In my family our beliefs are that if you sleep with someone you marry them. We did not use protection and Desiree’ may have been pregnant. I wanted to do the honorable thing by the time the show ended.”
“The week after you slept with Desiree you asked Hannah’s father for his blessing. Were you still undecided at that point?”
“Yes, I truly loved Hannah, but I couldn’t deny that I had been with someone else. My conscience won over my heart.” I was looking at the TV but it was a blur through my tears. I was not in love with him anymore but this just stirred the pain around in my chest for fun. What is the point of all this?
I turned to my parents. “I don’t want to watch anymore.”
“It’s almost over dear.”
There was silence on TV as Anthony got all misty and it felt like another attempt to pluck at my heart strings. It only worked a little, since I was already stirred up.
“So what you are saying is that you still love Hannah?”
“Yes, I do.” He said emphatically. He eyes never wavering.
“What about Desiree?”
“She and I decided that we were not in love and we parted ways. I admit to calling her out on being competitive and wanting to be on television more than she wanted me personally. She confessed that all of that was true.”
“So you broke the heart of the girl you actually loved and now you are without the one you actually picked. This has not been ideal for you.” Randall said in a strange voice. Sometimes I doubted he had a soul.
“No indeed, I am just desperate to try and make this right to Hannah. I have no idea how.” Anthony said. He was wringing his hands nervously.
“Are you and Hannah communicating?”
“Not really, we have only spoken a few words to each other since the show ended. You saw most of them on the after show. She wants nothing to do with me.”
“I would like now to divert from this topic to share something with you from the Parker household we received a few days ago. We did not know how to move forward with it until Anthony agreed to this interview. I would like to play it now.” Randall said quickly and cued the crew.
The screen behind them comes to life and I was shocked to see Chrissy again on my television. I gave her a look on the couch to clear some confusion in my head. She just grinned and pointed back to the TV. I watched as she spoke.
“I am Chrissy Parker, Hannah Parker’s cousin from the show Soulmate. I came on this station a few months ago, made some remarks about my cousin’s relationship with Anthony Capriccio, and lied about many things. I was never told that they were intimate. In fact I was told the opposite. I made up the part about the pregnancy and abortion to get paid from the network. I have since offered the money back and also wanted this chance to clear the names of both Hannah and Anthony in my allegations. I regret that I acted foolishly out of jealousy and anger when my cousin, who was like a sister to me, came hom
e from the show and couldn’t tell me about what happened. I was petty and stupid and I have seen in many ways how my lies affected both of them. It was both thoughtless and reckless. I would like to apologize on air for all the pain I have caused. Please forgive me, Hannah and Anthony. America I am very sorry for lying to you.”
The host panned back to Anthony and his face was sober.
“I did not expect that.” Anthony said.
“We didn’t here at the network either. But we wanted a chance to clear the rumors away. The network is also sorry for any part of ours that contributed to the spread of false information.”
“Thank you.” Anthony said gravely. I could tell he was processing things like I was right now.
“So we only have a minute before the show ends but I hope that you can find some solace now in knowing where your heart is leading you. Will you attempt to win back Hannah’s heart? Is she your Soulmate?” Randall asked using every ounce of charm he had.
“I believe she is. I will be trying every thing in my power to talk with her again. I am hoping that by sharing my heart tonight that she knows that I love her still and I want another chance.” Anthony said and smiled humbly.
The show ended and I was flabbergasted. My brain was spinning with info. I looked over to Chrissy and said the first thing that popped into my head.
“You gave them all the money back? What about your car?” I grinned at her, crawled a few steps across the room, and gave her a random hug.
“They didn’t ask for the money back after I sent them a letter about wanting to take back the lies I told. Instead they sent me a video camera and told me to send in a confession of my lies and a public apology. They told me to keep it a secret and to send it back to them when I got it perfect. I took like 40 takes. They actually sent me another check for ten thousand dollars for the scoop on it all being a lie. They are whacko! I decided today, if it’s okay with you, that I donate the ten thousand dollars to the homeless shelter downtown in your name.” Chrissy’s face looked happy and lighter after the confession. You could tell she wanted that pain off her chest.