by J H Cardwell
You could hardly see the bruises on my face or body anymore. Tate seemed even happier that he didn't have that constant reminder to look at. After we were through eating and cleaning up, Tate and I took a long walk on the beach. Then we came back in and watched TV in my room. We decided we wanted to be alone, since I would have plenty of time with the girls (at least five more days) once he and Finn were gone. Tate was heading home in the morning, gathering his stuff, and going straight to baseball training at Wake Forest. I would have to spend too long missing him then.
We were laying on top of the covers his front to my back. It felt so right with him holding me close. His breath warm on my neck. We were deep into watching Rambo. He loved those movies, so I surprised him with it on pay-per-view. I didn't care for the blood and guts, but I loved Tate, and I wouldn't see him for a while after tomorrow. So I sucked it up.
About halfway through the movie, he started kissing on the back of my neck and rubbing his nose on my ear. The feel of his uneven, jagged breaths at the base of my scalp sent tingles everywhere. My body was definitely hyper aware of what was happening.
I whispered "Tate, you’re going to miss the movie."
I got no response. He just continued nuzzling on my neck. His hands were around my waist, his fingers kneading my sides. Then, he turned me towards him. The look in his eyes was smoldering.
I said "Tate, we have to be careful, we can't get too carried away."
"Hmmm, we will be...careful," he said, kissing my cheek.
I was praying he was right.
Then our lips were caressing each others...soft, slow, tender. My lips were parted by his tongue, exploring mine. Oh, the feeling of kissing the man I loved, the man who wanted me, and protected me was…exquisite. I was lost in the moment. His hands were traveling up my shirt gently massaging my breasts. He pulled back the top of my bra and lowered his head to kiss the nipple of my left breast. I had never let anyone, willingly, do that. It felt...wonderful, my body quaked all over. I felt strange aches from down low, the good kind of aches. He slowly circled his tongue over and over. The rhythmic sensation caused me to push my pelvis into his. I can't begin to describe the feeling. Then his mouth found mine again, and we were kissing like we would never see each other again.
"You are mine Reese," he said. "I promise to always take care of you." Of course I knew these words from him. He had said them so many times before. But he had never said them while we were doing...this, making out so, intense. This time those words meant even more.
"Always," I said. My teeth grabbed his lower lip before I pushed my tongue back in his mouth and he let out a low moan, as did I. Then his hands slid down and pulled up my sundress. He rubbed on the back of my upper thighs, slowly working his way to my front. He slid my panties to the side, my heart ready to explode, and he gently touched me there. My body was pushing up against his hand instinctively. I was no longer controlled by my mind, just my body. His body had changed in a matter of seconds. I could feel the hardness of him pushing into my side, as our bodies meshed together.
He was rubbing, circling, exploring. I wasn’t breathing. I think I temporarily forgot how. He, on the other hand, was breathing hard enough for both of us. With his other hand, he was gently caressing my nipple, then ever so lightly pinching it between his fingers. I had a rush of heat throughout my body. I felt like I would nearly combust. His lips were teasing my ear, sending sensations from my head to my toes. Oh God…
Tate spoke my name. When I opened my eyes he had his locked on mine. My heavy eyelids were stealing the intensity of his look. I barely recognized he was talking to me "Reese, can..." All of a sudden my brain kicked in. I quickly pushed his hand away and put my forehead to his.
"I can't Tate.” There was a long pause. You could only hear our breathing. “I'm sorry, but I can't." I barely got the words out of my mouth. I think I was still floating above the bed too.
"No, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to get that far Reese. I never want you to regret anything we do together," he said as he hugged me.
My heart was still racing. "I know. We...we got carried away. I want to do the right thing though Tate. I want us to wait...can we? Can you...wait? I knew this was torture for him too. I could only imagine the physical issues it was causing him to not act in the moment. He was painfully quiet. "Do you see this ring Tate? My parents gave it to me when I turned 13. It's called a promise ring...a promise to them, and to God and to my future husband, that I will wait until I'm married." I let out a long sigh. "Like I said, I want to do the right thing, but why would something that feels so right be so wrong? And, why would God have to make us so...sensitive, to...touch and feelings," I raised my eyebrows at Tate and looked down between us, "and not want us to act on them?"
"It's okay Reese. I get it. I promise. I will wait for you. You need to be married first, right? Well, let's just make a plan to see that happen in the future...me and you...now YOU promise me that." I shook my head yes...with that, he kissed me. Not the sensual moment from before, but the passion of a promise.
Chapter 22
The morning came too quickly. Tate made me coffee as usual, but this time I had woken up before him and fixed him a full course breakfast: egg and cheese omelets, bacon, toast, grits, and fruit. Of course, I made enough for all of us including Finn's hearty appetite. Maura and Chloe had slept in, after they had hung out late with their new 'friends'. Just the four of us were sitting in the kitchen. We were talking about what baseball was going to be like. I was starting to get SO sad thinking about Tate being gone. I wouldn't see him for almost three weeks. Elle and I would be without our boys for much too long. Luckily, we’d have a few weeks of summer left before I had to head off to Wake too.
They left around 10 am so they could drive back and get packed. They wanted to spend a little time with family, before leaving Sunday morning. They would have to leave around 6 am for Wake Forest. Tate hadn't been gone 10 minutes before he texted me.
Reese, last night
was..amazing.
you and me = future.
I'll think about you everyday...
in that way ;) Love and miss
you already.
Tate
I was so lucky to have this man. So lucky that we were going to school together in the fall and according to Chloe's note on my pillow last night, so lucky that he was heading home today. I was still laughing at her note. She had written: Dad is finally heading home in the morning...time to PARTY! I laughed out loud thinking about it. She felt like Tate and Finn were crimping our girl time.
***
Although more tamed than the first two nights at the beach, the night Tate left was great. I love my girlfriends. And well, girls will be girls. We dolled up and went dancing. I love to dance and with my black eye, I had felt I couldn't go the whole week Tate was here. But now, it had faded enough that make-up covered up the rest. We went to a local club at Atlantic Beach. I wasn't interested in 'hooking up' at all, of course. But, I would still tell Tate I had gone. I would want to know if he went, after all. We danced most of the night. I felt like I had lost five pounds before we left.
As we were heading out the door, a bouncer handed me an envelope. I was leery to open it. I mean who gets a 'note' at a dance club? But when I did, my breath caught. The note said: Please accept this gift. You deserve it after all you’ve been through...John. There was a gift certificate to Lameen's Spa and Resort for $1,000. Oh my God. Was he crazy? The girls were eyeing me like they were getting ready to fight whoever left me the note. Then they jumped up and down when I told them. There was even a date and time for tomorrow...11 am (good we could still sleep in). It even said transportation would be provided.
"Hell yeah!" said Chloe. "I knew his money would come in handy. He feels guilty and we benefit!!"
"Wait," I said feeling...bought. "I don't think I can accept this...I mean what would Tate say?"
"Why would Tate even know...Reese? Who is going to tell him?" She gave me the BIG eye
s like 'if you know what’s best, you won't'.
I ignored her. "Look, I know this would be fun...but..."
"But...it’s okay Reese. Tate really doesn't need to know who paid for our pampering, just maybe that we went," said Elle.
"Exactly," said Maura.
Oh good grief. My friends were ganging up on me here.
"Okay...I guess we could go for..." before I could get the rest out, they all jumped on me hugging me and squealing. It was going to be fun. I just hope I wouldn't have to pay later...whatever that means...for accepting such an extravagant gift.
"Hey, doesn't it bother any of you that he knew we were here..." I said looking around like I was trying to find him.
"Now that I think of it, yes, it does. But, if he were too 'stalkish', he would pop out...right...now!" said Chloe slowly and she jumped with her hands out like she had just scared us.
We all laughed. I still thought it was a little crazy though.
The next day we were so excited to be getting spa treatments. We were all ready by 10:45 am when we heard a horn beep. In some way I was expecting it to be John. And in some ways I was disappointed when it was a driver and a limousine...a Limo! Everyone screamed. I did too. But then my conscience piped up...was this right? Why couldn't this be for Maura or any of the girls...Uhh. I wasn't sure what the right thing was...well actually, I knew it would be to not accept this gift, but my girlfriends were so excited. I had to allow them that. Right?
***
The spa was amazing! We each had massages and facials. We sat in the sauna (that was scary...women of all 'sizes' sitting in there nude...we were in robes). The spa provided white, fluffy robes, and fresh lemons in water. We wore cucumbers on our eyes. We even sat in the planetarium room with the pretend stars over-head, and strange outside noises on surround sound. We laid in lounge chairs that leaned back making our feet elevated. Chloe of course, made crazy moves with her legs like scissors the whole time, and then pretending like she was...um...you know. We laughed until we cried. We were supposed to be relaxing!!
I would say we had a wonderful time. After we were all dressed, and donned new make-up, provided in the plush bathrooms, we headed outside. The limo was still waiting on us. We got in, but the driver wasn't going toward home, he was heading in the opposite direction. We pulled up to a fancy restaurant in Morehead City. This time John was waiting for us… John, Harrison, Kerry and Brett. Brett...I was all of a sudden nervous and upset. And just after my relaxing spa treatments too.
"Chloe, you promised," I said.
She leaned over and grabbed my hand, "I still do Reese. I won't ever do that again okay?" That was the serious Chloe I never see, but I knew she meant it. Just as quickly, she was wild and crazy again. "But we can still have fun!!" she said looking like Santa Claus had just arrived...I don't know, maybe he had.
We all got out. I was the last one, unsure of the lines I was crossing.
"Reese..." John leaned in and kissed my cheek.
"John, I can't believe you did all of this." I said pointing to the limo.
"I was afraid you would say no...I'm so glad you didn't," said John.
"I wouldn't have gone, if my friends hadn't been so excited. That was too much John."
"No way. Besides, I needed another way to say I'm sorry."
"I've told you, I forgive you." I said looking at him as genuine as I could.
"Reese, I can do this...and much more...please let me."
I wasn't sure what he meant by much more, but it scared me. I would have to be really strong to continue to be faithful to Tate, but I was determined.
"Before I forget," I said. "I’ve been thinking about Sam."
He furrowed his brow at me. "Please, don't. I can't bear for you to say his name after what he tried to do to you."
"I mean, I've been thinking what I...we...can do to keep him from doing this to someone else. If he hadn’t been stopped...he would’ve raped me John."
He looked like he’d been crushed. "I know...don't remind me..." he let out a long breath..."I think he’s taken care of for a while. I've admitted him to a drug rehab program for several weeks. After that, he’ll be monitored daily by his father...his worst nightmare."
I will admit that made me feel a little better.
"Okay, I guess you have it covered. I just pray I never learn that another girl has been taken advantage of by him." I said quietly. The thought of him brought up so many vivid memories.
"Hey, let's go in and eat. I bet after all of that pampering, you’re starved," he said with a half-grin. He led me inside with his hand on my back. I wondered if we looked like a couple. I prayed we didn't.
Dinner was amazing. The girls had a great time. I grilled Brett as did Elle and Maura on his behavior. He claims Sam gave him the cocaine, and that he’d only done it one other time, during college. They rode with us home. I thanked John for a wonderful day and evening. I also reminded him that I was with Tate. He said he knew, of course, and that we were just destined to be close friends. Brett and Harrison had already worked up hanging out on the beach tomorrow. I wasn't sure how I agreed to that one, but in the end, I said I would see him tomorrow.
***
Day after day they came and hung out with us at the beach. They were so much fun. I enjoyed the laughs and the exercise for sure. They loved football and corn-hole. I had to just be careful with the tackling. It seemed John liked that part the best. If I say I loved spending time with John, it would be a serious understatement. The man was a true gentleman, and so damn fine.
By the last day, Chloe and Maura were eating up every minute with 'their guys'. I know, I had been there recently and so had Elle. The difference was Elle and I would see our guys again soon, but Maura and Chloe might not see theirs again...ever, at least not for a long, long time.
That day we stayed on the beach until nearly 6 pm. Then we parted ways. I decided to go home with the girls the next day and not stay by myself at the beach as I had planned. I wasn't in that dark place I had been when I arrived, so I didn't seem to need that 'alone' time. Not long after they left we showered and dressed, then packed. I loved this place, Elle's beach house. I loved the serenity of the beach itself. It’s probably my favorite place to be.
As I was sitting out on the porch reminiscing over my time here, I heard someone coming up the steps.
John.
"John...what are you doing here?" I asked. I hope I didn’t come across as rude, but I was surprised to see him again.
John seemed a little tense. "I couldn't let you leave yet. I wanted to see you once more."
Oh no. Not this. This gorgeous, beach god was standing in front of me telling me he didn't want me to go yet.
"Before you speak, I just wanted you to know how much I will miss you...how much I care for you," he said walking up to me, and sitting beside of me in another rocker on the porch.
"John, I’m with Tate...nothing will change that...but I have enjoyed getting to know you better...really, I have." I tried to sound genuine without sounding like I wanted him 'that' way. I was so confused by my emotions. I just really needed him to not be around. I knew deep in my gut that if I weren't with Tate, I would be with this endearing man, John.
He looked straight at me. "That’s what you keep telling me," he chuckled. "I know you’re with Tate. I know y’all have a history Reese. I just think you’re amazing. I want to keep in touch with you...I need to know that’s okay."
I hesitated. I wondered how I would feel if this was some girl asking Tate the same question. Some girl he met at Myrtle Beach before we made up. I’d be really jealous, and probably a little hurt too. But was this different? I mean this was John. We’d been through so much together already. "Um, I guess so. I mean, I guess it’s okay. Sure...we can keep in touch. We are friends after all," I said.
He reached over and grabbed my hand. I flinched but his hand felt too good in mine. I was desperately thinking in my head...Tate, why did you have to leave? I’m too weak to be nea
r John. I had KISSED this man just over a week ago...I mean really kissed, and had really enjoyed it too.
John must have sensed what I was feeling. He began rubbing my hand with his thumb.
"Reese, can I just hug you once more. I mean, we’ll stay in touch...but us actually touching...I mean hugging might not happen...again." God, why did he have to be so damn gorgeous?
John, I’m not sure" I looked over at his hand on mine. "You’re holding my hand already. That’s almost crossing the line as it is."
He stood up and held his other hand out to me. I hesitated for another moment, then he pulled me out of my chair and put his arms around me.
"Oh Reese. I don't want you to leave tomorrow. I want us to stay just like this."
Shit! I needed to be strong…I needed to be strong. Maybe if I kept repeating this mantra, I could be.
"John. Why didn't you meet another girl while you were here? Someone to REALLY spend your time with and get to know better. Once you knew Tate and I were back together, you should have done that," I said. Although I was silently thankful that he hadn't for some selfish reason, I know. Now we weren't only hugging we were swaying...dancing to Elle's iPod. She had left it out on the deck. She had my mom's and her mom's songs on there too, like mine. Bon Jovi's song, ‘I'll Be There For You’ was playing. We were silent for a couple of minutes. He was so warm and smelled so good. His head was in the crook of my neck. I was worried he would kiss my skin. I was worried about how much I wanted him to at that moment. I was feeling a little too comfortable in his arms.
Then, he said "Reese, I know you think I'm crazy for...well for being so crazy over you so quick. But, I am. I've never felt this way about anyone. I wish you weren't back with Tate...I’ll blame myself for that. But I want you to know...I. Will. Wait. For. You." He said with entirely too much passion.