by J H Cardwell
I started to talk, but he put his hand up to my mouth.
"I will. I will wait. I have this feeling that it won't be long. It won't be long before you and Tate are apart again."
I was sure I had this pained look behind his hand. I reached up and pulled his hand down. "I’m sorry you think that John. But, I think we’re in it to stay."
He only smiled at me then, and wrapped his arms tighter around me. He leaned back and lifted my chin to stare into his eyes. I couldn’t describe the intensity I saw there. We locked eyes for several moments. I was afraid he would bend down and kiss me. My heart was racing. All of this was wrong on so many levels. Finally, he whispered goodbye, and left. I wasn't sure what I was feeling at his departure - relief, regret, I wasn't sure. The one thing I was sure of was, that wasn't the last I would hear from him. There was a definite part of my heart that was happy with that. But, I was already worried for the questions I would have to answer from Tate.
The morning we left, we walked out to my jeep and there was a gift bag in the seat. I knew it had to be from John. With it was a note that read:
Dear Reese, I promise this is not the end. I'll be in touch...soon. But until then, know ..I.....Will....Wait. Love,
John P.S just like the song, "I'll be there for you" right when you need me.
Inside the bag were gift certificates to various places. As I sorted through them I found they were to all the places we pass by on the way home. Starbucks for breakfast, Panera for lunch, and Outback for supper. Then there were gift cards to Barnes and Nobles, Dillards, JCrew, and Sephora. All places we had talked about this week. At the bottom of the bag was a box that contained a brand new iPhone. Oh my God. I can't believe he gave me an iPhone. On the back of the box was a note that read...replace that old flip phone of yours Reese. This way we can stay better connected. What? I was sure that wasn't a good idea. I let out a long breath. I turned on the new phone and started playing around with it. When I went to the music icon, he had downloaded all of the songs we had listened to since the first time he met me. He had thought of everything.
I really didn't want my friends to see any of it, but Chloe peeked over my shoulder shaking her head saying, "if only I had whatever aura you release Reese, I could be a rich woman!! Love ‘em and leave 'em I say." She was laughing but then she told Maura and Elle. Elle looked concerned as she came over to me.
"Reese, be careful. I know you love Tate, but I think John has his sights set on you. He doesn't seem to care that you’re with Tate...just...be careful. Even the strongest person couldn’t withstand some of his tactics, not to mention his gorgeous looks."
I knew she was right. I would have to make an effort to just stay away from him in the future. The problem was he was used to getting what he wanted it seems, and as far as I knew that had never been a girl until now...wasn't I lucky. I let out another long breath, silently shaking my head.
Chapter 23
The ride home was made even better with all of our...uh...my free gifts. On the way home, I stopped by the phone store and had my new phone activated. Halfway home, my phone pinged.
Reese, I hope you found my
gifts. I want to do so much more
for you. I hope you’ll let me.
I can show you the world, you know.
I'll be in touch soon. Love -- J
Elle, could see the confused look on my face when I read the text. She leaned over to me and said. "Girl, what are you going to do? I mean, what is he thinking? So, he has money and he’s gorgeous. Does he think you’re just going to leave Tate because of that?"
“I'm not sure what he thinks. He keeps saying he will wait for me, like Tate and I will be over one day. I'm not sure, but I think he feels we are destined to be together for some reason. I just have to hope that time and space changes his mind..." I said.
"Do you Reese? I mean how do you really feel about him? I can't imagine having to have his constant texts, and money, and blue eyes, and strong jaw, and cut arms, and jet black hair, and..."
"Elle! You’re not helping here! What in the world." I all but yelled.
"I'm sorry." She chuckled out loud. "I got carried away. Anyway, at least you have a back-up plan, and a damn good one too, if you and Tate do break up. I don't know of any other girls in your position."
Of course it wasn't long before Maura and Chloe caught on to what we were talking about. Maura agreed it would be hard to have my dilemma too.
But as usual, Chloe had a different, unique perspective. "I think you’re just a trashy whore Reese." She laughed out loud, "I mean Carter is pining away for you in Penderton, hoping you will give him another chance. Tate thinks you walk on water, and wants you to be his wife, and drop his babies. And John, well he thinks you should be his muse, so he can buy you everything he comes across. I say the hell with all of them. And, damn it, why don't you just share them with us? Who needs that many men anyhow? I'm sure you could get rid of all three today, and find an even better, more willing participant tomorrow! After all, you just have that way Reese." Chloe said. She was laughing, but I could tell she was a little serious too.
"Chloe, are you mad? I mean don't be hatin'. I didn't ask for this. Life isn't always this grand for me either, I..."
"She knows that Reese," said Elle, cutting me off. "She's just jealous."
I'm not sure why Elle felt a need to interrupt. I guess she thought I would tell about the date rape, but I wasn't ready for that yet. I loved my friends, but I just wasn't ready....
"I am. I'll admit it....I'm jealous. I guess maybe if I would learn to hold back from guys a little more, maybe I would get some of the chances you get Reese.” There was a long pause. “But, listen, I'm sorry, you do have a true issue with John. He’s amazing and all. But, if you’re not careful, he’ll drive a wedge between you and Tate. Tate has the whole package, like I said before, but as rich as he is, he can't compete with moneybags. Guys don't like to be outdone...I'm just saying."
I was quiet for a while. As usual, Chloe was dead on. I knew they were all right. But without getting downright ugly with John, I didn't know how else I could tell him, I was with Tate. A selfish part of me didn't want to. I knew that. Maybe that was what was keeping me feeling really nervous all of the time. I let out a long sigh. "Well, I appreciate all of your insight. God knows I can use all of the advice I can get. I love you all, and I'm so glad we had these past two weeks together." We all did a group hug. I don't know what I would do without my friends.
***
By the time I had dropped them all off, and said our goodbyes, I was exhausted, and ready to hug my Mom and Dad. It was SO great to see them. My Dad helped me carry my bags in, then they both wanted me to sit in the living room to fill them all in. I told them how I had met John the first night we got there, and how after Tate and I had gotten back together, he still wanted to see me. My dad gave me a warning lecture about how Tate was bound to not want another guy trying to bide for my time. (Oh Dad, if you only knew). Later, Mom and I had a heart to heart about Tate. She thinks we are in it for the long haul...like her and Dad were. I hope she’s right. She also said that Carter was dying to see me and how Lisa was secretly hoping we got back together (Oh, I'm sure she was). I didn't bother to tell either one of them about Sam. That part of my life will be forever closed...thankfully.
I knew it wouldn't be long before I heard from Carter. And I was right. He called the day after I got back, and asked if he could come over and hang out at my house. I told him I didn't think it was a good idea, that Tate was out of town, and he wouldn't appreciate it. The next day he showed up anyway. I’ll admit a part of my heart still beats erratically when he was around. He has always had that effect on me. I guess it's the history we shared. He was a handsome guy with a big personality. I once upon a time thought I was in love with him, after all.
I insisted on being in our family room, sitting in different chairs while he stayed. We watched an episode of Survivor, then he wanted to talk. He told me all
about his rehab and how he was improving, but he was pretty sure he wouldn't be able to run track for UNC. His academic scholarship was granted however, since his sports scholarship was on hold. I was glad to hear that, but I was sorry to hear he would no longer be running. I knew how much he enjoyed that...it seemed to be a good outlet for him. At least it seemed to keep him sidetracked enough to stay apart from me when he left before.
"Reese, I was really hoping I would be here for more than 'catching up'. I was hoping at this stage, that we would be back together." Oh no, here we go.
"Carter, I don't really…"
"I know you don't see us that way now," he cut me off "but I only wish I hadn't been so STUPID to not call you, and see you enough when I left last year. I was just SO messed up in the head."
I was getting a little worried, his voice was escalating, and he seemed really upset. Then he came over and sat, actually he squeezed in beside of me in the over-sized chair I was sitting in.
"I was Reese. I was stupid. I can't believe how bad I withdrew last year. I really missed you." His voice was different, and he was gazing at me like I would change my mind if I looked at him. So I kept my eyes on the floor until he reached over and grabbed my hand, bringing it to his mouth and kissing it. That of course made my eyes shoot to his.
Then he got up, looking back at me he walked halfway towards the door and said. "I won’t push you Reese. I almost died in that crash, it made me realize everything I was missing in my life."
I still didn't say anything. My eyes were focused on my hands in my lap.
"By the way, I talked with my Mom. She wouldn't tell me about anything with Tate. I think she didn't want to hurt me. But, I'm sure she had an affair with him. He's lying to you Reese. I can't believe you don't see it. I'll just have to prove it to you.”
And with that he walked out.
***
I tried my best to enjoy the rest of June and first part of July even though Tate was still gone. I spent a lot of time at the pool. Since I had been a lifeguard for the past two summers, they let me work a few hours here and there to make some extra spending money. One day, I was sitting in the lifeguard stand, twirling my whistle, and watching the cute little kids playing around in the pool. I heard a group of my age girls walk by, kind of whispering. My back was to them, so I couldn't make out exactly who it was at first, but I heard them say 'Tate'. I wondered what they would by saying about my boyfriend, so I listened. I heard "Tate is being scouted by the pros because of my dad, and they plan to bring him to a tryout this coming fall." I wasn't sure yet who had said it, but I was sure they were talking about my Tate. I mean we live in a small town, and I didn't know another Tate. As soon as the group of girls had gone by, I scoped out who they were. It was Lauren Taylor and her group of catty girls in their teeny bikinis. Why did she have to have a history with my man? Chloe said that she was wanting him back again, and that she was ruthless. I wasn't worried about Tate falling for her, but I was worried about what she would do to try and attain him. I would have to ask him what she could be talking about...the pros? That was like nothing I had heard of for Tate before now. I mean, I knew he was awesome at baseball, but the pros? Only time would tell, I guess. I would’ve really liked to have called Tate and asked him about it, but he was pretty much inaccessible at camp. My long conversations would have to happen once we were face to face. I couldn't wait.
I was able to save a little money through working, although, my mom wouldn't let me use it for shopping with her. She successfully spoiled me every way possible. Being her only child, a daughter no less, and now I was going away for college - I could feel the empty nest syndrome coming on for her and my dad. I walked with my mom most evenings around the neighborhood. We talked about how much life had changed since she was my age, and what it was like for her going away to college. Her two brothers were younger, so my Grandparents didn't experience the emotions like her.
My mom got teary many nights just talking about me leaving. There were a couple of times we got to talking about Lisa, and I wanted to tell my mom so bad about her and Tate. But I just couldn't. I knew if she ever knew, she and my dad might think of him differently. And I was sure she would think of Lisa differently. My mom loved her and would need all of her friends to help keep her company when I was gone.
I also spent a lot of time with 'the girls'. Although Elle would be my roommate at WF, I wouldn't see Maura or Chloe as often. So, the four of us went to the lake some, and spent time in the cabin too...lots of time in the cabin. We reminisced and looked at pictures through the years. God, we were hideous in our early teens...braces can be scary.
Carter had texted me some, but surprisingly I hadn't heard from John. I figured it was best that way. However, I did wonder if he had maybe moved on. I was sure there were girls at every turn trying to get his attention. It was strange really. I had honestly felt a deep connection to him, and in such a short amount of time. I wasn't sure what to make of it. I knew if Tate and I hadn't gotten back together, I would probably be getting even closer with John. That’s how much I enjoyed being with him. But, that wasn't in the plans. Tate and I did get back together, and I’d never want to hurt him. So, needless to say, it was best if I never heard from John again.
***
I was getting excited to see Tate. On the day he was supposed to return, I had a special night planned for us. Of course we had talked each night briefly, but we also texted a lot, and I was following the team's schedule for practice and scrimmage through their website and on Facebook. I knew we would have a lot to talk about when he got home. I couldn't wait to hear what he thought campus life would be like. I spent the day at the pool, and was heading home to get ready when my phone pinged.
It was John.
I couldn't believe he hadn't texted me in nearly two weeks and then the night I’m to meet with Tate, he texts me.
Reese, I'm coming through your
town on my way to Raleigh for business.
Can I see you? I have a premonition
Tate will screw up and you'll
need me to 'be there
for you’. ;) --J
What in the world am I supposed to say to that? I can't see him, it wouldn't be right. And, what premonition is he talking about. I texted him back.
John, it was great to hear
from you. It’s been a while.
I was wondering if you were
able to move on already. I wish
you the best, but I don't think
it’s a good idea if we meet.
--Reese
For some reason, I felt bad for the text I’d sent him. He made me feel so important to him, and I was just so…casual. I hoped he wasn't mad, but I have to do what Tate would expect. After my shower, I dressed in Tate's favorite navy sundress, and I slipped in the diamond hairpin he loved so much. I had a picnic ready to take to Lookout Ledge. It was a cool, private hangout up on the mountain that overlooked the town below. Back in the 50's it was a drive-in movie theatre. Now, on warm nights, it was a perfect place to take a picnic basket and chill out under the stars. I had my blanket in the jeep, my iPod, and the food. I was ready to go. I looked down at my phone and realized that I had received my third text of the day from Carter. I guess he was worried over Tate coming back into town. This last text simply said.
I need to see you, let's meet at our
old, special place 7:30pm.
--Carter
What? Carter no. I can't...then it dawned on me where that place was. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. Carter and I had our first kiss at Lookout Ledge. Surely he doesn't mean there. I have to stop this, I thought.
I can't Carter. Not tonight.
Maybe tomorrow or
another day, okay?
--Reese
I didn't hear back from him before it was time for me to meet with Tate. So I prayed that he wouldn't crash our mini reunion tonight. I didn't want to share my evening with Tate with anyone. I figured since he did
n't text back, he was happy that I might see him tomorrow.
***
The time had finally arrived. I drove up to our spot, and when I got there Tate was already leaning up against his truck, waiting on me. Oh my, my man was fine. He had on a Nike Sports, tight-fitting shirt with khaki shorts and tennis shoes. He was a sight to behold. His tanned, chiseled arms were crossed in front of him. His smile widened as he saw me pull in. I couldn't wait to be in his arms. I got out and before I could turn around, he was wrapping his arms around me.
"Mmmm, you feel amazing. I’m so glad you’re here," said Tate.
I turned to face him giving him a quick peck. Then I pulled back and looked into his eyes. "I believe you are even more handsome, Tate. I bet the girls were falling all over you there." We hugged tighter. I blushed. I wasn't used to giving compliments like that. But, it was true. He was divine.
"I have a feeling I’m not the one with the stories. I’m reluctant to ask if you heard from Carter since I've been gone," said Tate.
I wasn't about to spoil our first evening with talk about Carter, much less about my time with John (although innocent) back at the beach after he left. "Nothing sizzling to report here." I winked up at him. "I’m still 100% yours." then I quickly looked away and said, "I've got us a picnic basket of food. I hope you’re hungry?"
He reached over and grabbed me, swiftly pulling me up to him. "Oh I'm hungry all right. I’m dying for one of these..." He bent down and kissed me hard and tender at the same time. I could feel the love radiating from his lips. Then he deepened it, making me blush. I wasn't about to pull away.
But, finally he did. "Hey Reese, I meant to ask you, did you get a new phone?" I froze up real quick. Well, yeah, but how would you already know that, I thought.
"Why do you ask?"