Finding Our Forever

by Brenda Novak

  “Hopefully, someday, you’ll regain your trust.”

  He winked at her. “Don’t hold your breath. But... I am very grateful for everything you’ve done for me. I hope you know that.”

  “Stop!” She started to walk away.

  “What?” he called after her.

  “That wasn’t a leading statement. I’m not looking for your gratitude.”

  She wasn’t comfortable with it, either. “You want me to fall in love.”

  “I want you to be able to fall in love. I want to see you lose your heart—and not be afraid to let it go. Then I can rest easy, knowing you’re completely fulfilled.”

  “You never married,” he pointed out, but she offered the usual lame excuse.

  “Because I’m married to this place.”

  Knowing that was all he’d ever get out of her on the subject, he studied her retreating figure. “Yeah, well, so am I.”

  Chapter Three

  Cora was using her Bluetooth to talk to Jill when she passed through the wrought iron arch at the opening of the school, her car packed full of her belongings. “I’m here,” she announced as she wound slowly around to where she’d be living.

  “That didn’t take long. What time did you leave again?”

  She’d gone in to hug her friend goodbye, but Jill, dead asleep, had mumbled something about missing Cora, promised to call and dropped back onto the pillows. “Six.”

  “That’s not even two hours ago.”

  “See? I’m not that far away.” Although...it almost seemed as if she’d moved to another planet; Silver Springs was nothing like LA.

  “I should’ve come with you,” Jill said.

  “How?” Cora asked. “You have to be to work in an hour.”

  “I could’ve called in sick. You need someone to be there to help you unpack.”

  “No, I don’t. My mother would’ve been hurt if she found out I let you come, since I told her I preferred to organize everything on my own.” Cora had definitely not wanted Lilly on the ranch. She knew Lilly had never met Aiyana, that the whole adoption had been handled through an agency. According to the documents her private investigator had uncovered, Aiyana had demanded absolute secrecy. But that didn’t change Cora’s need to keep the two women apart. “I can handle this. The cottage is furnished. And everything I’m bringing fits into my car. It’s not as if I’m towing a trailer.”

  “Still, I’m curious.”

  “About...”

  “The ranch, for one thing. What does it look like?”

  “Your basic high school, but with horses and cattle—and some dorms and a machine shop. You’ll see it when you come visit me.”

  “I’ve been to Ojai but never Silver Springs. How does it compare?”

  “The towns are similar, which makes sense. Silver Springs is located in the same valley, has some of the same mission-style architecture. Only they’ve added a few murals in Silver Springs, like they’ve done in Exeter.”

  “Where’s Exeter?”

  “Central part of the state.” Cora pulled into the drive that would be her drive for the next year and cut the engine. “My mom took me there once to show me the murals, thought I’d be interested because of my art degree.”

  “I’m not that big on murals,” Jill said. “I’ve seen some pretty bad ones.”

  “I’ve seen a lot that are worse than the ones they have here. The man who painted the one downtown interviewed for my job. I’m still surprised they didn’t hire him instead.”

  “They told you who you were up against?”

  “Aiyana and Elijah didn’t. When Aiyana showed me the house, she got a call on her cell, leaving me to speak with a neighbor. He said Gary Seton was a friend of his and was really disappointed.”

  “Why didn’t they hire him?” Jill asked.

  Cora gazed at her bungalow, trying to imagine calling this place home for the next twelve months. “I’m not sure. I would’ve guessed they’d prefer a local.”

  “Could it be that Elijah wanted you to come to town?”

  “No. I didn’t get those vibes at all.”

  “So you think he’s married?”

  “Not married.” There was too much sexual energy surrounding him for him to be in a committed relationship. She could tell he found her attractive—couldn’t help finding him attractive, too. A woman would have to be dead not to feel a little sizzle when a man like Elijah Turner came around. “Just completely closed off.”

  “I’ve seen you approach guys before. You’ve never been afraid of a challenge.”

  In this situation, she was. She had a lot to cope with already, didn’t need to add a romantic relationship into the mix. Even if she could manage to gain Elijah’s attention, she doubted she’d be able to keep it for long. He was too remote. “I’m only here for a year.”

  “That could prove to be a very long year if you plan to remain celibate the whole time,” she joked.

  “I’ll survive.” Although...she was already missing certain aspects of her relationship with Matt and, if she was being honest, sex was one of them. “It’d be kind of odd to hit up the man my mother adopted.”

  “Why? You’re not related by blood. You didn’t even grow up together. For all intents and purposes, you’re part of a different family. You’re a Kelly.”

  Cora dug through her purse, searching for the house key Aiyana had provided her. “On paper.”

  “More than on paper! You’ve spent your whole life with the Kellys.”

  “I was talking from a strictly literal perspective. But that reaction right there is part of my problem.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Am I being ungrateful simply by wanting to know my birth mother? That tears me up inside, because I am grateful. I love my parents dearly.”

  “It’s the same with regular parents. All kids should be grateful and aware of their parents’ sacrifice.”

  “No, it’s not the same. There’s a sense of entitlement with children who’ve been kept and raised by their biological parents that doesn’t extend to me. Anyway, let’s not get caught up in all of that. Bottom line, people would look askance at Elijah and me if we ever admitted to having the same mother.”

  “You wouldn’t admit that, because you don’t have the same mother.”

  Cora groaned to show her frustration. “It’s murky. You have to give me that. Regardless, Elijah makes me jealous.” So did the other boys Aiyana had accepted into her life. That Aiyana would give Cora away and then take in eight other children left Cora feeling hurt, baffled. “He holds such a prominent place in Aiyana’s heart that it makes me wonder why she wanted him and not me.”

  “We’ve talked about this.”

  She climbed out of the vehicle and circled around to grab the suitcase that held her essentials. “You believe she feels the need to fix things—fix people.”

  “You told me he had a rough childhood. The other boys probably did, too.”

  Other than her ex-boyfriend, Jill was the only person she’d confided in about her search for her biological mother, her true purpose in coming to Silver Springs, and the background of the man who’d hired her. “No doubt. Elijah’s defies imagination. Which only makes me feel worse. When I think of what he’s been through, I can’t even be jealous without an avalanche of guilt. Considering the emotions he dredges up, I doubt he and I should even be friends.”

  Jill ignored her uncomfortable laugh. “There were a number of years between the time Aiyana gave you up and adopted him. Her situation must’ve changed, that’s all.”

  Since both hands were full, Cora used her hip to close the car door. “Maybe that’s it.”

  “You can’t always assume the worst.”

  “It’s hard not to. Especially now that I see how f
unctional she is. I mean...if she were a down-on-her-luck prostitute, I could point to that and say, Makes sense.”

  “The fact that she isn’t a down-on-her-luck prostitute is why you’re interested in getting to know her. There’s promise there. You believe she might be someone you’d like to have in your life. That’s what scares you. You’re afraid she’ll reject you a second time.”

  Cora had to set her suitcase down to let herself into the house. “Do you have to be so frank?”

  “It’s important to know when fear’s doing the talking—to keep things straight in your head.”

  “It could be a while before anything’s straight in my head—another reason I’d be crazy to get involved with Elijah, even if he were open to a relationship, which I can tell he’s not.”

  “Fine. You won’t listen to me, anyway. You’re too busy throwing up roadblocks.”

  Cora wasn’t sure she felt any better now that Jill had conceded. She sort of liked it when Jill was arguing the other side. Maybe that was because she did find it hard not to think about Elijah. Even though she’d been almost completely focused on the fact that she’d just found her birth mother when she had that interview with him, she couldn’t help wondering what was going on behind those inscrutable eyes... “You were never given up for adoption. You grew up in a big, boisterous, happy family. You can’t relate.”

  “I’ve tried to be understanding,” Jill said.

  “I’m sorry,” Cora responded. “I don’t know where that came from. It was uncalled for.”

  “You’re angry. That’s where it comes from. And I can see why. But I’m on your side.”

  Cora opened her mouth to say she believed that, but before she could formulate the words, she heard a car engine and turned. What she saw wasn’t a car; it was a silver truck. And Elijah was behind the wheel. As he parked in front of her house and jumped out, she felt her pulse leap. “I’ve got to go,” she told Jill.

  “Why? What’s up?”

  She ducked her head so she could speak without being overheard. “He’s here,” she whispered and clicked the button on her Bluetooth that would disconnect them.

  * * *

  Cora was wearing a silky orange tank with a pair of white linen shorts that showed off her long, tan legs. As Elijah approached with the orientation materials he’d brought, he found those legs to be distracting. But she was a teacher at New Horizons. That meant he couldn’t get involved with her, even on a casual basis. Contrary to what his mother seemed to believe—and probably everyone else who was surprised he hadn’t hired Gary—he hadn’t offered her the position because he had any romantic interest in her. He’d been impressed with her portfolio. Each piece—a sculpture, a painting, a photograph and a piece of pottery—moved him in some way. He liked that she could make him, someone who knew very little about art, feel something. Gary Seton’s work simply hadn’t been the same.

  One piece that Cora had brought, the conceptual sculpture of a mother cradling a child, affected him deeply. When she’d unveiled it during their interview, it’d been hard for him not to stop and stare. He’d wanted to keep it—not because he felt he needed that kind of love. No one would ever be able to hurt him again. He wanted the boys here at the ranch to experience the safety and security that piece inspired, and he wanted to give them a teacher who could not only depict that emotion but understand it, feel it.

  Because he knew Gary was disappointed, he hoped he’d made the right choice. Fortunately, the sensitivity he saw in the large brown eyes staring up at him as he drew closer reassured him. She’d wanted the job even worse than Gary. He wasn’t sure why—if she’d needed to get out of whatever situation she was in or was on her last dollar—but he’d been able to feel her eagerness during their interview and he’d responded to that. Maybe this woman would never be able to teach the boys how to create a decent picture or vase, but she should be able to entice them to see the beauty of the world. She was part of the beauty of the world. And she seemed open and vulnerable to the point that he almost felt he should warn her to be careful or life would chew her up and spit her out. After what he’d experienced, that she could get so far without learning that lesson was a bit of a shock to him.

  “Hello,” she said.

  “I see you made it safely.”

  “Yes.”

  He motioned toward the older BMW X3 sitting in the drive. “Can I give you a hand with anything?”

  “No, it’s okay. I was careful when I packed—didn’t make the boxes too heavy. I can grab it.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded, so he handed her the orientation manual he’d brought over. “I doubt you’ll care to read all of this. Watching paint dry would be more interesting. But there’s a table of contents. I figured you could glance through, check out any topics you’re curious about and become familiar with how we do things around here.”

  “I’ll take a look at it.” When she hugged it to her ample chest, he decided her body was partly what he found so attractive about her. She wasn’t as skinny as some of the girls he’d dated. She was curvy—looked soft, comfortable, sexy.

  He searched his pocket for the more important part of what he’d come to give her. “Here’s a key to the high school, as well as one to the art and ceramics rooms. With school starting next week, you’ll be eager to set those up.”

  “Definitely. Thank you.”

  “You bet. You received the group email about the staff meeting tonight?”

  “I did. That’s why I came a few days earlier than I would have otherwise.”

  “Great. I’ll see you there.” He started back toward his truck. “Everyone is eager to meet you.”

  “Mr. Turner?”

  “Call me Eli,” he said as he turned.

  “Okay, Eli it is. Where, exactly, is the meeting tonight? You showed me the library when we toured campus the day I interviewed, but I’m a little turned around at the moment.”

  He went back and flipped past the syllabus he’d given her to the campus map on the next page. “You’re here,” he said, and drew a line from her house to the library so she could easily find her way.

  “Thank you.”

  “Sure,” he said. But instead of leaving, he went over to her SUV and began unloading the boxes. He just couldn’t leave a woman to do that alone, not when it would be so much easier for him.

  “Whoa, I can get those,” she said, hurrying out to him. “Really.”

  “There’s no need for you to carry all of this stuff by yourself. Just point to where it should go. It’ll only take me fifteen minutes.”

  As promised, in a short time, he had her vehicle completely unloaded.

  “Thank you,” she said as he put down the last box.

  “See you later.” His conscience appeased, he started toward his truck.

  “Eli?”

  He stopped again. “Yes?”

  “I—I have a boyfriend. Sort of.”

  He felt his eyebrows slide up. Then he almost laughed. She was assuming he had an ulterior motive for helping her. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression,” he said. “I was only trying to make your move a little easier.”

  Her cheeks bloomed red. “Right. Of course you were. I’m sorry.”

  * * *

  Cora’s face burned as she watched Eli drive off. “What’s wrong with you?” she muttered to herself. “Of course he was just trying to help. It’s not as if he asked for your number.”

  That blunder actually said more about her than it did him, she realized. He hadn’t been anything but circumspect. She was the one who’d had a difficult time keeping her eyes off him. She was so aware of him on a sexual level that it was hard to act as if she wasn’t, which was odd. She couldn’t remember having such a strong reaction to any other man. That was the reason she’d suddenly tri
ed to throw up a barrier. She’d been hoping to give him a reason to look at her differently—or stay away entirely—and wound up making a fool of herself instead.

  “I told you I didn’t need your help,” she grumbled to him even though he was gone, and cringed at the prospect of having to face him at the staff meeting in a few hours.

  “You had to do that on your first day here, Cora?” she said as she started to unpack.

  Her phone dinged to let her know she’d received a text, and she paused to pull it out of her pocket.

  Jill. What’d “dark and brooding” have to say?

  Dark and brooding. How apropos. But since she was still writhing with embarrassment, Cora didn’t want to talk about Eli, so she scowled at the clock. Aren’t you at work?

  You know I am. I was talking to you while driving here.

  I don’t want to get you in trouble for being on the phone. I’ll call you later.

  Is that a dodge?

  Yes. But as long as her friend was willing to risk getting caught on a personal call at work, Cora figured she might as well break the news. He said he’s not interested in me.

  What? Seriously?

  Seriously.

  But...you just got there.

  Cora shoved a hand through her hair as she recalled his startled expression. Yeah, it came up quick. Thanks to her...

  How? He couldn’t have come by just to let you know he’s not interested.

  Again Cora hesitated, but when she didn’t respond her friend sent her a question mark, so she typed, I brought it up.

  At that point, texting fell by the wayside. Jill called to make her explain the whole thing.

  “Oh jeez,” she said when Cora was done. “I should never have let you go there without me. I could tell you were rattled, nervous.”

  “I’ll get my feet underneath me. I’m just...not myself at the moment. The prospect of rubbing elbows with my birth mother has me...floundering a bit. I was expecting that to be difficult, but when I started this whole thing, I was not expecting my mother to have adopted a son who...”