Do you love me? (Trinity Series Book 1)

by Regina Bartley

  Her only request for the party was that she be the one to cook the burgers, so she didn’t have to socialize too much. Little did she know, I had tracked down Letty and got her a ride to the lake, so I was sure that she wouldn’t want to cook once she saw her.

  I told her yes, though, just to appease her. Her grilling skills weren’t bad. I was still alive, so that was something.

  I sat down on one of the lawn chairs and rested my feet. I was already tired, and the party hadn’t even started yet. Lee stood next to the grill and smiled at me. It made me feel so good to see her like that. It had been days since or weeks even since she’d really let herself relax. Her loveable smile was all I needed to see for me to feel like things were getting better. Things were starting to look up.

  High school problems compared to college seemed to be crazy different. We never used to have to deal with things on this grown up level. Maybe we weren’t prepared. Thinking back to a year ago, I couldn’t believe how much simpler things were.

  I guess you could say that we’ve changed in a lot of ways, but we had some good friends to show for it.

  After firing up the grill, I led people over to the grassy area where they could set up their tents. It wasn’t a very big place and it was sort of going down hill, but no one seemed to mind. We passed around the donation bucket, several times and watched as it filled up quickly. It wasn’t about a set number or dollar amount. We just asked that people donated what they could in hopes that we could raise as much money as possible. Every little thing counted.

  It seemed like most everyone was able to set up their tent before it got dark, but more people kept dropping in as the hours went on. Garrett had set up his Ipod to a dock that was connected to two massive speakers. The music could be heard for miles.

  “How you holding up chef?” I squeezed Lee from behind.

  “Good.” She smiled at me over her shoulder. “I’m almost done.”

  Where the hell was Letty? I was hoping she was going to get there before Lee had to cook all the food. She wasn’t about to let me help.

  “I can’t believe the turnout. This is amazing, Josh.” Her eyes stared into mine, and she had a pleasing grin on her face.

  I shook my head. “I wasn’t expecting this many. I guess word travels fast. I figured more people would’ve had plans for spring break.”

  “They’re broke college students. This is probably all the fun they can afford.”

  Good point.

  “So,” she peered up at me. “Is he coming?”

  She didn’t have to say his name for me to know whom she was talking about. “I don’t know. It’s up in the air right now. He might, or he might not.”

  There was an understanding look in her eyes, but she didn’t say anymore. I rubbed her back gently and looked out into the crowd. That’s when I spotted Letty coming toward us. I put my finger over my lips so that she would know to be quiet when she came up, and she played along.

  I leaned down to whisper in Lee’s ear. “I’ve got a surprise for you though, and I think you’re going to like it.” Grabbing her shoulders, I spun her around quickly so that she was face to face with Letty.

  That girl let out a squeal that would call the dogs from neighboring counties. Sheesh.

  The two of them nearly tackled each other to the ground. I’d never seen two people become such fast friends. Lee wasn’t really a girlfriend kind of gal. She was always just one of the guys.

  I guess Letty was different and Lee was a magnet for all things different.

  “Don’t worry. I got the grill,” I waved her off. Finally, I could feel a little less like a woman, and I could get my man on in front of the grill. There was nothing like a spatula, and the smell of burgers on the grill to get your testosterone up.

  “Someone bring me a beer!” I yelled.

  Lee had nearly all the burgers finished. I just had to take the last ones off the grill, and then everyone could eat. I stacked them neatly in the pan and opened the buns. I made Garrett make the food announcement since he had a much bigger mouth. That was like calling a pack of wolves. People came running.

  A loud bang of thunder cracked across the sky, and I peeked out from under the canopy. It was too dark to see the clouds but I had a bad feeling it was about to rain on us.

  I was about to go find Lee when I spotted a cowboy hat in the distance.

  He made it, and I wasn’t the only one that noticed. I spotted Lee close to the lake and her eyes were on Tex.

  I was ultimately going to make things right. The two of us were going to have a talk whether he wanted to or not. That was one thing my Dad taught me that always stuck. Don’t let business go unfinished, because someone always gets screwed in the end.

  He was certainly right about that. Only the main person getting screwed was Lee, and I wasn’t going to watch it happen anymore. If he didn’t want to be with her then fine, but if this was about me then we were going to settle it once and for all.

  After walking through the crowds of people, I found Tex standing next to Garrett and Obi. I couldn’t tell you what they were talking about, but the discussion seemed light.

  “Hey,” I said as I walked up to them. I looked right at Tex. “Can we talk?”

  He tipped his head. “Yeah.”

  The first step was a good one. I didn’t have to twist his arm to make him talk. He was willing. He probably wasn’t going to like what I had to say, but it needed to be done.

  I nodded my head towards the dock, and the two of us walked down. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Lee watching us from the waters edge. She and Letty were standing there with their feet in the water. They had a clean view of Tex and me from where they were. I swear I could feel her eyes burning holes into me as we made our way down to the end of the dock.

  “You probably already know what I want to talk to you about, but I needed to tell you face to face,” I started.

  He must’ve known that our talk was going to take a while as he sat down on the edge of the dock and let his feet hang over the side. I took a spot next to him, and I could see Lee as plain as day from where we were sitting.

  “I want to apologize first for hitting you. If you’re holding a grudge against Lee for that, then I’m sorry. It was just hard to hear some of the things you said, and it pissed me off.”

  He looked over at me. “Yeah,” he nodded. “The truth really hurts.”

  I could still see the hurt on his face. “She said she tried to talk to you, but you wouldn’t listen and that you left her when she kissed you. I don’t know what made you think you could treat her like shit. I mean, I get that you’ve had a lot of shit going on, but you upset her.” I tried to explain.

  He scoffed and shook his head. “I told her I didn’t want to talk about it, and I didn’t. We weren’t serious or nothing, so it shouldn’t have been that big of a deal. I don’t even know why we’re even talking about it.”

  “It was a big deal, man.” My voice rose. “It was a big deal to her. We’re both finding it a little hard to understand. I’m the one that threw that punch at you, but you’re taking out all the anger on her. It ain’t right.” I was starting to get upset, which I was trying very hard not to do.

  He leaned his head back so far that his hat fell off behind him. When he reached back for it, he looked at me. “It’s not about the punch. She loves you. I’m not trying to compete with that.”

  “You’re right. That girl over there does love me,” I pointed to her and she turned away quickly so that she wasn’t caught staring. “But she loves me like her best friend, like her brother,” I told him.

  “Right,” he laughed. “Then why the fuck were you kissing her.”

  Whoa. My eyes grew wide.

  “I saw you. You were right outside the dorm.”

  I had to laugh, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I couldn’t stop myself. Why did he not say anything until now?

  “You think this is funny?” He gave me an odd stare, but I could see the pain
in his face. It wasn’t right for me to laugh, but every time I thought about that night it just happened. We were both so innocent in the whole damn thing, which makes even that much more funny. If only I could make him understand. I should’ve known there was something more to this mess than just my punching him in the face.

  “You’re right. We kissed,” I admitted. “It was something we had to do, but we learned very quickly that we should never do that again.” I laughed again.

  “I don’t understand.” He put his hat back on his head.

  “You should have let her explain, because everything you think happened after that, didn’t. After your stupid love speech at the restaurant, I found her outside the dorm. My adrenaline was over the top, and when I saw her I knew I had to kiss her. Both of us had this weird thing going on between us, and we just had to see how real it was. So I kissed her. And Dude, it was like kissing my sister.”

  “What about her?”

  “She felt the same way. We laughed about it for the longest time. The two of us were just meant to be best friends, and I had her convinced that she should get to know you a little better. I told her to follow her heart, but I wish I hadn’t. She followed it right to you, and you fucking broke it.” I stated matter of fact. “And truthfully, if I’d known about it sooner I would have beat your ass.”

  His eyes met mine, and we stared at each other like the battle was on. When it came to Lee, I’d fight an army. I didn’t care.

  “Damn,” he half smiled at me. “I feel like such an ass. No wonder she smacked me in the face. I deserved it.” His shoulders dropped in defeat. It served him right. We were all cool, but if I didn’t think he’d come up swinging, I would’ve already pushed his ass into the lake.

  It was just an idea.

  “I need to talk to her,” he said. “I’m sorry about everything.” He held out his hand.

  I shook it. We were cool. Really. “We’re good,” I assured him. “But I want you to know that when it comes to that girl, I am more than protective. I love her to death, and I’m not going to let anyone hurt her and get away with it.”

  He nodded. “I’m glad she has you.”

  We sat there for a few more minutes, and dammit if it didn’t start to rain. It was like someone broke a dam.

  “Shit!” We climbed up from the dock and the two of us took off running toward the canopy. We were drenched before we made it there, but it felt good to be under something.

  He grabbed my shoulder. “I really should go talk to Paislee.”

  “Yeah,” I agreed.

  “Thanks for everything,” he pulled me into a big hug, and I got a little soft inside for a moment there. It was a definite woman moment. When he pulled back he asked, “Where is she?”

  I leaned over to him. “Know your girl, Man. When it’s raining, she’s always dancing in it.” I pointed to the lawn where Lee was twirling around. She was the only crazy person out in it, but I didn’t expect her to be anywhere else.

  Twenty-Seven

  Paislee

  It was raining.

  Rain made me happy, and nothing was ruining it for me. I didn’t care what the guys said to each other. They could be beating each other’s heads in at that very moment, and it wouldn’t have affected me.

  Letty said I was crazy. She took off running for cover as soon as it started. Maybe I was crazy, but it didn’t matter to me. The rain wouldn’t hurt me. It was the people that ran from it that had all the power.

  I spun around until I was dizzy, and could barely see straight. I found myself stumbling through the grass, barely able to stand. That was just the way I liked it.

  Someone caught me. My eyes were only half open, and someone’s arms were wrapped around my waist. I rested my hands on their arms to regain my balance, and then looked up. I had to squint through the falling raindrops, but I knew immediately that it was Jude.

  “Hey Darlin,” he said.

  Why? I looked all the way up waiting for the rain to explain. It was my rain. It was my joy.

  “I need to talk to you,” he said, and I wanted to tell him no. So badly, I wanted to say no, but I couldn’t.

  He was so freaking beautiful standing in my rain. The rim of his hat was catching the rain and keeping it from hitting his face. He moved in closer so it would block my face too. There was something gentle about the way he looked at me, something soft that made my stomach take flight.

  “Can we go somewhere?” He asked, and I had yet to speak. I could barely find my footing, let alone my voice. Those pouty lips of his were distracting me.

  “We can talk here.” I finally said. He was standing in my rainstorm.

  “Okay,” he said above the noise of the thunder. “I’m sorry.”

  I bit my lip as the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

  “I didn’t give you a chance. I screwed everything up, because I was confused. I thought things with you and Josh were way more serious. I feel like a complete jack-ass.”

  I smirked at him. “You were,” I agreed, and I truly meant it. He was a royal ass-hat to me, and I felt like I didn’t deserve it.

  He smiled. “I know, and I’m really sorry. I thought that it made more sense for me to just walk away instead of trying to stay in a situation that I was sure I didn’t belong in. I’m probably not making any sense right now. But I saw you kiss Josh, and I just lost it.”

  “That’s what this was about?” I asked him. I could feel the ground getting softer beneath my feet as the rain continued to pour down. Before long, we were going to be three inches deep in mud.

  “I know. I was stupid. Josh told me everything.” He pulled me closer to him. “I can’t apologize enough.” His eyes were tearing up. “It’s no excuse, but with everything that’s happening at home, I just didn’t care. I wasn’t interested in wasting time with someone who didn’t want to be with me. I thought being friends would be easy, but it wasn’t.”

  My lip started to tremble, and I was fighting it with everything inside me. I was only about three seconds away from losing it, and I needed him to stop talking.

  I looked down at my feet and watched the rain as it was hitting the ground. “What are you saying?” I asked.

  “What?” He leaned down closer to me. “I can’t hear you.”

  “I said, what are you saying?” I yelled. “What do you want, Jude?” He was going to have to tell me, because this girl wasn’t putting herself out there again. I’d been there and done that.

  He reached under my chin and lifted my face up so that he could see me. The tears were filling up in my eyes, and the vulnerable little girl was back. I hated being so damn sensitive. Stupid boys!

  His finger grazed my bottom lip, slowly. “I want to start over,” he said. “I want to try again.” His hand ran slowly over my cheek, as the tears fell from my eyes. “I want to take you to dinner. I want to sit next to you in class. I want you to be there with me when I bury my dog.”

  “Dammit, Jude,” I cried like the biggest baby, the snotty nose cry that couldn’t be contained.

  He pulled me to his chest and wrapped his arms so tightly around me. He held my head against his wet chest. “I’m sorry,” he said again.

  Just as easily as he’d broken me, he’d put me right back together. He had a way of pulling out all the emotions in me, and it was real. Every single thing I felt when he was near me was real, and on a different level than I’d ever felt. I just wasn’t giving myself the chance to see it.

  “Okay,” I cried into his shirt. It was a muffled –okay, but I think he got the gist.

  “Oh, Darlin,” He lifted me up off my feet, and swung me around. “You mean it?”

  I told him yes, and buried my head in his neck. It was the closest that the two of us had been, and it felt right. It felt like I was right where I belonged.

  He set me back on my feet, and looked me in the eyes. “So you and I,” he grinned. “We’re starting over?”

  “Yes. We’re starting over.” I smiled back.
r />   He backed up a couple of steps, and held out his hand. “Hello, beautiful. My name is Jude.”

  “Hey, Jude,” a smile stretched across his face, that matched mine. “I’m Paislee.”

  My wet hand slid gently into his, and he quickly yanked me back to him, making me giggle. “Is it too soon to kiss you?”

  I shook my head no.

  He pulled me close and dipped me back like we were dancing, and placed the softest, sweetest kiss on my lips as the rain came down on my face.

  That was the rain I loved.

  And maybe the boy…

  The End ...

  for now <3

  COMING SOON

  Can

  You

  see

  Me

  Hey Darlin’ - Jude

  Acknowledgements:

  My husband Jason and my kids are always so supportive, and understanding. I love them all so much, and wouldn’t be where I am today without them. So thank you FAMILY!! I also have such continuous support from my Mom too. She’s my rock, and I love her to the moon and back.

  An extra large thank you goes out to my best friend Micalea. She’s my sprinting partner in crime, and without her I’d be lost. I say that all the time, but I truly mean it. I love you bestie!

  Thank you so much Emily Wittig for designing this beautiful cover. I was so excited to show it off that I could barely stand it. The entire series is beautiful and I can’t wait for the world to see what you’ve created. You’re a gem, and I love you dearly!

  I love my beta readers so much. They’re amazing. Thank you so much ladies. Raquel, Shelby, Rawan, and Stephanie kicked serious beta butt! I don’t know what I’d do without them. Thank you for your time, effort, and support.

  Thank you so much to the book-lovers out there. There aren’t enough words to express what my readers mean to me. I know that without them I wouldn’t be where I am today. I LOVE YOU!