Void

by Cassy Roop

  My hair was brushed aside and I felt his lips on my shoulder before his teeth took a slight bite from my skin. Electricity and desire pooled in my belly, my clit already becoming painfully aware of his presence. Each brush of his fingers, each passing touch of his hands made my mind and my body painfully aware. I felt it. The sensation of desire, the enormity of pleasure, and the only feelings that I didn’t have to face.

  I sighed as he pressed his body against my back, reaching around to cup my breasts in his firm hands. His squeeze was not gentle, but just poised on that border between pleasure and pain. I felt the warmth of his skin as it connected with the skin of my back, his hard chest heaving as his desire grew. His warm breath flowed against my neck, causing my already heated body to rise several more degrees. I lifted my hands, desperate to feel him as I covered his hands with my own, assisting him with the assault of my tits.

  “No touching,” I heard Andris tell me through the crackle in my headphones, his voice stern, but laced with desire. Quickly, I removed my hands, something about the sound of his voice captivating me.

  I have always been a pretty strong willed woman. The benefit about not giving a shit about things gave me the power to not take any shit from anyone. I was never ordered around, never told what to do. I was the one who usually gave the orders. Most of my clients, being of the more submissive type, liked it when I took charge—liked it when I told them how to do things, or how to fuck me so that I could at least walk away with an orgasm. But something in the tone, the sternness, the harsh bite of Andris’s words, sent a deeper escalation of want overwhelming me. I couldn’t help the hitch in my breath, nor the slight jerk of my body as Link’s hands continued to trace the contours of my skin. My bra was shredded, the sound of lace ripping from behind me only moments before the bra cascaded to the floor had me gasping.

  It wasn’t the fact that he had just ripped a four-hundred dollar piece of fabric, but the instantaneous surge of pleasure that flowed through me. I loved that my body surrendered to the sensations I was experiencing,

  God I fucking loved it.

  I didn’t have to live these moments pretending, faking my way through time, but instead I got to embrace and involve myself in the moment. A sharp smack of my ass sent fire burning into my flesh. I bit my lip, relishing in how wonderful it felt. How the sting could heighten my desire that much more, and how, with each moment I was in the presence of Link and Andris, my body melted even more.

  His hands encompassed my waist, sliding them lower…and lower…until his fingers brushed the top of my mound.

  Smack.

  Heat pooled, my body responded, and I cried out into the room from the surprise of being struck in such an intimate place, my pussy convulsing, practically begging to suck his dick deep within.

  “Do you like it when he does that? Link wants to know.”

  I nodded, unable to form a coherent sentence as not one, but two fingers were inserted into my cunt, massaging the sensitive nerve endings inside. Andris’s words were a little softer now, less demanding and a husky tone was in its place. I wondered if I was turning him on. Was he looking at me with the same desire that Link was, yet felt deprived that he couldn’t touch me? Was he jealous as he watched another man manipulate my body, knowing very well that I didn’t feel many emotions, but to witness this side of me in person?

  “Do you only ever watch, Andris?”

  A thumb joined Link’s two fingers and the desire to hear his answer was long gone when my pussy began to tighten, and my lower abdomen squeezed in delight as Link assaulted my pussy, quick rapid strokes coupled with the rapid circling of my clit. I could feel my legs start to shake, my knees trembling, threatening to give out beneath me as my body climbed higher and higher. Soon my body began to flood with uncontrollable sensations. I could see the end of the hill as my body began to crest over the top…

  And then he was gone.

  Pushing away from me abruptly, my body protested at the disappearance of Link.

  “No!” I cried as my knees buckled and I fell to the floor.

  “Link doesn’t like it when you ask questions, Miss Lane. Especially questions about other men.”

  The crackle of Andris’s voice through the headphones didn’t hide the forcefulness that had returned to his tone. A hand cupped my chin, pulling my body up from the floor and I scrambled to work my way to my feet. Link’s hand clasped mine, the feel of the calluses on his fingers touching the backside of my hand. I was led, no practically dragged to another part of the room, where the smell of leather was stronger. Link stopped walking and in return I stopped. His hand left mine and I hated the coldness that I was left with.

  “There is a table in front of you, Miss Lane. Bend over, and place your hands there, spread your legs, and don’t move.” My hands connected with soft padded leather, the action thrusting my naked ass into the air. I heard the sound of buckles clanking together only moments before my hands were bound to the table. I felt Link caress my back with something, being blindfolded and not knowing what it was, I couldn’t say. It felt like leather as it trailed down the nape of my neck and along my spine. My breathing was short and sharp. I could feel my own desire running down the creamy skin of my inner thigh as my pussy begged to be filled.

  I tried to get my mind in the game, picturing what I thought Link looked like. He had to be large, bigger than me. I could feel the hard muscles of his body when he pressed into me and I could tell that his physique was either that of an athlete, or someone who worked out regularly. Since I wasn’t allowed to touch him, I didn’t know whether his hair was short or long, or whether he had a beard, or a smooth jaw. Not being able to see him, I didn’t know if his eyes were green, brown, or the beautiful dark navy color that Andris’s were.

  Instantly, my thoughts were on him and the image that I saw when I walked out of the club earlier and found him leaning against the car. He was beautiful, rugged, but in a refined way. His jaw always held the perfect amount of stubble and his hair always seemed slightly too long in the front, but just enough to be incredibly sexy. Was it wrong of me to enjoy knowing that Andris was watching? Was it seriously fucked up of me to be turned on by the stare of one man while being physically turned on at the hands of another?

  “Andris?” I asked when I hadn’t heard anything from him in several minutes. The item that was traced down my spine collided with my ass, sending a bite of pain across both cheeks.

  “You are not permitted to speak, Miss Lane, unless it is to cry out in pleasure. Link isn’t pleased when you do, much less speak another man’s name only moments before he fills you with his cock.”

  And then it happened. My hips were grabbed and Link’s cock was shoved into me, burying himself to the hilt as his balls slapped against my sensitive clit. He stilled, but only momentarily, as he let my pussy adjust to his cock for a few brief seconds before he started a relentless rhythm of pounding into me. Heat spread even deeper as all the blood flow rushed to that part of my body and my pussy eagerly welcomed each thrust. There it was again. The sating of the craving, the rush of drugs to my system. My fix, flooding through my veins.

  My breasts bounced against my chest as his grip tightened on my hips. My nails dug into the leather of the table in front of me as I tried to ground myself even more in this spot. The spot where everything flooded me at once, where my very few emotions came to the surface and I smiled, actually fucking smiled from the pleasure and happiness radiating through my body.

  Link’s hand caressed my back as the other held onto my hips before he reached up and fisted my hair in his hands, tugging my hair and making my head tilt back in the process. My mouth was open as I worked to suck in vital air at the same time I was chasing my release. It was there, teetering on the edge of bliss and total annihilation. Suddenly, my feet left the floor as Link let go of my hair and picked me up by my hips and began thrusting even harder if possible.

  He drove into me like a man possessed. Like a man who was staking claim on
my body, and I was loving every second of it. Hitting somewhere deep inside of me, I exploded, coming all over his cock as my body finally found the relief it was looking for—surrendering to the pleasure and flooding me with a surge of normalcy. It was wonderful getting to experience this, and even more heightened by the situation.

  It was in that moment that I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get enough. The sinful desires, the overwhelming pleasure I felt from being with Link as Andris watched on, would never leave my system. No one would ever be able to replace the feelings that both of these men had given me. They were a godsend, something that was quickly becoming vital to my existence and I began to feel fear as Link climaxed into me and only seconds later pulled out.

  There it was. Fear again. An emotion that I didn’t experience often, yet one that I recognized most in others. As my backside felt cold from the distance Link but between us, warmth filled me once again as Andris spoke into the headphones and explained that he was removing my restraints.

  “Leave the blindfold on, but Link insists you stay here this evening. You can remove it once you have been taken to your sleeping quarters.”

  A warm robe type fabric was placed around me as Andris tied something at my waist. The headphones were removed and all I could hear was the breaths of Andris and my own.

  “Is he gone?” I asked, curious about Link’s quick retreat every time he came inside of me.

  “Yes.”

  “Why does he leave like that?”

  “He doesn’t like his escorts to know who he is. He is a user, Nicola. He enjoys your body, but doesn’t want anything else other than that.”

  “So, I’m Nicola now?”

  I heard him sigh long and hard, as if he were fighting against something that was greater than him.

  “My mistake.”

  I reached out to touch him, but was only met with air.

  “How do you feel about my body?”

  I heard him swallow audibly before he spoke, his next words cutting through me like a knife.

  “Your body is beautiful, but I will not ever touch you. You belong to Link. I watch how you submit to him. I watch how you let him manipulate your body, and while it is fucking gorgeous, it is my job to provide a service, just as it is yours. Nothing else, Miss Lane.”

  “It’s weird. How he makes me feel. I can’t explain it. Why is it that I have such a response to him? To you as well, for watching.”

  “That is a question that you need to save for Dr. Gunn.”

  “But you are Dr. Gunn,” I shot back.

  “Here, I am not.”

  Andris led me to a room in silence, guiding me by the hand. Not another word was spoken the entire way until we reached wherever it was I was going to be spending the night. I was confused. At his office, Andris was warmer, sweeter even. Here, when I was in session with Link, he seemed colder, more distant. I didn’t know whether it was because he wanted to keep his business and side job separate, or if it was because he was trying to hide behind two different personalities.

  It was a challenge to me. Something that drove me to wanting to see how long Andris would hold out until he couldn’t hold back anymore. I wanted him to want my body the same way that Link did, and I was going to make it my mission to see that it happened.

  I HAVE ALWAYS PRIDED myself on my self-control. Knowing that I had the ability to maintain authority over my actions, my choices, and sometimes even my thoughts.

  But not always.

  There have been very few times in my life where my constraint was tested, my self-restraint sitting on the border of complete power and complete meltdown. I was poised, educated, well-spoken and looked up to by all of my peers, many of whom were several years older than myself. It was my drive for excellence, my passion to be perfect that provided and pushed my dominance to the forefront.

  Then there were things that pulled me back as well.

  Like my asshole of a father, my asshole of an uncle, and now…Nicola.

  I’ve been angry. I’ve been driven to the point of complete loss of my control, but I have managed to pull myself back from the brink, to step back from the proverbial ledge, I guess you could say.

  But watching her? Hearing her? Having to endure the torture of another being pounding into her and driving her body toward a mountain of pleasure was damn near maddening to the point of insanity. My jaw ached, my palms laced with the imprint of my fingernails from clenching my fists so tight. I didn’t have to see her eyes to read the desire on her face, the want, the need, the inability to maintain her own control, as she climaxed and allowed her body to surrender to Link’s relentless rhythm. It was written in the curvature of her mouth, the hiss in her breath, and the throaty cry of her voice as she summersaulted into rapture.

  The jealousy damn near consumed me, only moments away from pushing Link aside and taking over. To allow me to be the forethought and him the afterthought. I wanted to replace myself in her imagination as her cunt was seduced by him. I wanted the desire running down her legs to belong to me, be for me, because of me.

  But, I couldn’t.

  Not only would it break Link’s contract, but it would break everything that he and I had accomplished together. It was through him, because of him, that I was allowed to chase away the demons that filled me. He helped to give me the escape I needed, to not have to feel the all-consuming need to be perfect, to strive for excellence.

  So instead, I let him finish while I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the visual before me, trying to lose myself into other thoughts and struggling as sweat dripped from my brow. The smell of sex infiltrated the room, the musk of her pheromones working to slowly destroy me.

  The energy never shifted when they both finished, it only worked to keep the sparks alive. My breathing had quickened, my chest heaved with heavy burden as I removed my headset and threw it across the room. Link had left and all that remained was me, the man left to clean up after him. There was no telling what kind of opinion Nicola had of me, knowing what I did. She couldn’t possibly respect me for the things I did. Hell, I didn’t respect myself. But dammit, it was the only way for me to get through all the shit swirling around in my head on a daily basis. So when she asked me why she had the response she did to Link and the same feelings about me watching, I couldn’t answer her. I couldn’t speak for Link, but only for myself, and it wasn’t something I could discuss with her.

  I led her to a second story room in the apartment, a place where none of the other girls have ever stayed. It was a rule. Fuck them and then they leave. Neither Link, nor I had the time to deal with clinginess or idle chit chat. He got what he wanted, the girls got their money, and everyone was satisfied. But for some ungodly fucking reason, I wasn’t ready to let Nicola go. I wanted to keep her close. I wanted to be able to know that she was sleeping in the room next to where I would be staying and fantasize that it was me driving into the depths of her delicious cunt instead of Link.

  Fucking Link.

  I had a love/hate relationship with him. I loved getting to observe his conquests. I loved getting my own satisfaction from watching him fuck girls until they had trouble walking out of the door. But I also had a hatred for him because of the jealousy I felt with Nicola. Never once had I been envious of his position—to want what he had, but somehow it’s different now. My mind and eyes knew her curves. They knew the sounds she makes when she’s turned on, and the soft rush of breath that always flowed from her lips right before she climaxed. I knew the throaty pitch in her voice as her desire increased, and I also knew the glow of her body after orgasm.

  All without being the one to give that to her.

  I was fucked up. A real sick son-of-a-bitch for what I did on a regular basis. Watching another man get his rocks off fucking a woman while I got mine off watching—sitting in the shadows and guiding their movements.

  As I closed the door and walked out of the room I had placed Nicola in, I thought about it. Each step I took, hitting the nail on my coffin that
stood between me and sanity.

  I needed help.

  I needed therapy.

  Fucking ironic, huh?

  I SLEPT LIKE I HAD never slept before, both mentally and physically exhausted from all the new shit that was overwhelming me. I stretched into the darkness, noticing the silkiness of the satin sheets I laid upon. I felt all the muscles in my body protest from the movement, the deep ache feeling more prominent as I moved. My thighs still trembled and it didn’t help that the memories of last night flashed through my mind. Being bent over a table and fucked until I was nearly un-capable of forming a coherent sentence was fucking wonderful.

  I smiled into the darkness, something that I didn’t do a lot of. Not that I didn’t know how to smile, or that I didn’t want to, it was just that nothing really ever gave me reason enough to feel this happy. I was stupid happy. Like the giggling school girls I had seen on TV yet never understood, and I was smiling so much my jaw hurt.

  I sat up in bed, doing my best to work my long, blonde, mussed up hair into some sort of organization. Andris had left me a t-shirt to sleep in and I lifted the material to my nose and took a deep inhale.

  It smelled like him. It smelled like Andris. A combination of the two things had my previously darkened and nearly non-existent emotions bubbling to the surface in full force. It was almost too much, as things that I had never felt before began to flood me chin deep into the empty swimming pool I felt placed in.

  I yawned, stretching once more for good measure. Opening my eyes didn’t cure the darkness of the room, because when I did, I was still met with inky blackness. I felt around on the surface of the massive bed I was in (I knew it was massive because I had rolled around in it before I fell asleep) to see if I could find the ledge. I felt a chill filter through the air and suddenly I felt like I wasn’t alone.