As she studied him, she realized Jake had never been one to talk about himself. But now he apparently had good reason for not wanting to. He was right about her needing a distraction. Then a thought hit her. “I don’t have the baby’s room ready yet. I don’t even have the furniture!”
“I saw all that stuff you shoved in the closet. You can’t tell me you’re not ready. As far as the furniture goes, Nina might have an old portable crib in her storage shed that you can use until whatever you ordered is delivered.”
“She still has the twins’ baby things?”
“Nina is sentimental. I know for sure she has one of those small, collapsible cribs and their christening clothes.”
“I’ll need to buy formula and bottles, too. I was going to paint next week….”
A nurse approached just then, and a few minutes later they were dressed in scrub gowns and hats and were ushered into the suite where Barbara lay on a birthing bed.
Tori hurried to her side. “How are you doing?”
Barbara’s face was red and there were tears on her cheeks. “They’re coming faster. They feel like they’re ripping me apart. Maybe something’s wrong.”
Tori and Jake both looked with concern at the doctor, who smiled knowingly. “She’s fine.” She motioned to the fetal monitor. “The baby’s fine. Just a little while now.”
When Barbara let out a cry, Jake took her hand, putting the ring in her eyesight. In a tranquil voice he murmured, “One, two, three, breathe. One, two, three, breathe.”
The doctor spoke to Barbara steadily. “During the next contraction, I want you to push. Push with all your might. Are you ready?”
Barbara glanced from Tori to Jake, and then back at the doctor and nodded. “I just want this finished,” she said. “I want my life back.”
Though Tori knew that when women were in the throes of labor pain, they often said things they didn’t mean, she realized in this case, Barbara’s heartfelt statement rang true.
During the next two contractions, Tori found herself breathing along with Barbara. Her gaze locked with Jake’s, and his eyes were as intense as the feelings swirling inside of her.
Finally the doctor alerted them. “I see the head. Come on, Barbara. Let’s do it this time. He’s ready to come out.”
Barbara weakly shook her head. “I can’t do it another time.”
Tori stroked the girl’s matted and damp hair. “Yes, you can. Come on, one last push.” She felt like an older sister to this girl.
Taking encouragement from Tori, Barbara’s face reddened with exertion as she pushed with all her might.
With a wide smile, the doctor announced, “You did it, Barbara! He’s here.”
A sweet exultation gripped Tori’s heart as her gaze fixed on the baby boy in the mirror. After quick ministrations by a nurse, he was in Barbara’s arms, and the teenager was looking down at him as any mother would.
Fear washed over Tori. Jake came and stood behind her, and she felt his chest against her back as she waited for Barbara’s reaction…for what she would do and what she would say. It would set the course for the future.
With tears running down her cheeks, Barbara held the baby out to Tori. “I guess he’s yours now.”
Barbara’s woeful voice almost tore Tori’s heart in two. Then she felt Jake’s hand on her shoulder, and she reached for the baby who would become her life.
Chapter Six
As Tori looked down at the little boy she intended to name Andrew, she pushed his dark brown hair over his brow and stared into his very blue eyes.
Do you know you’re my son now? she asked silently.
He blinked at her, and she marveled at his perfect little ears, his tiny fingers, his cute snub nose.
Jake leaned over her shoulder and stroked the baby’s cheek with a finger. “He’s perfect,” he murmured.
At that moment Tori knew Jake was feeling the same awe she was.
“What are you going to name him?” Barbara asked in a small voice.
“Andrew Michael Phillips. What do you think? Does it fit him?” She wasn’t exactly sure how to act with Barbara now. But she didn’t want to ignore her or cut her out of the baby’s life.
“It sounds like a name for a prince,” Barbara said. Then her expression became set. “He’s yours now. I don’t want to see him again.”
“Barbara—”
“I mean it, Tori. I know we have the guardianship papers to sign and all. Tell your lawyer to call mine and we’ll do it as soon as we can.”
When Andrew started squirming and then let out a wail, the nurse came to take him. “We’ll clean him up and diaper him. He’ll be in the nursery.”
Tori realized there were some things she had to do, too. She touched Barbara’s arm. “I’ll stop in and see you tomorrow.”
“With your lawyer?” Barbara asked.
“With or without my lawyer.”
As she and Jake walked out to the hall, Tori felt elated and excited, yet sad, too.
Apparently Jake understood her mixed emotions. “It’s bittersweet, isn’t it?”
“I feel so sorry for Barbara, yet I want to claim Andrew. I have to let the pediatrician I chose know that he’s been born. I have to call my lawyer so we can sign the papers as soon as possible. I want to take Andrew home and let him know I’m his mother.”
“He’ll know. If Barbara doesn’t want to see him again, you can probably talk to the nurses about feeding him yourself. Once the papers are signed and you are his legal guardian, you’ll have the right.”
The right. The right to be Andrew’s mother. For sixty days, anyway. If only the roads hadn’t been icy that evening. If only Dave had been driving a little more slowly. If only…
With the night’s events catching up to her, Tori felt her eyes well with tears.
When she tried to turn away, Jake caught her by the shoulder. “It’s okay.”
Her tears kept coming, and his arms went around her. She resisted a few moments, and then gave in to the support. He was strength and stability and a harbor—a harbor she needed until she could take a deep breath, square her shoulders and call her lawyer.
A technician rolled an empty gurney down the hall, and Tori leaned away from Jake. “Thank you for everything you did tonight.”
“I didn’t do anything except chauffeur you to the hospital.”
Examining his face, she realized how easily she could fall in love with him. “Does denying your good qualities keep you humble?” she asked lightly.
He dropped his arms and looked uncomfortable. “I’m not denying anything. I do what I have to do, Tori. Just as you do.”
“I don’t think it’s as simple as that. I think you won’t admit you’re a good man because you’re punishing yourself for something.”
“I know you have a degree in art history. Did you take a few courses in psychoanalysis, too?”
Hearing the anger under the sarcasm, she suspected she’d hit too near the truth. “Nope. Just a general psych course. But I don’t need a textbook or a doctor’s shingle to see that you’re stuck in some kind of quicksand you can’t pull yourself out of.”
“Save your imagination for studying Peter Emerson’s paintings.”
Her eyes widened at the mention of her newest bestselling artist, and to lessen the tension between them, she let Jake change the subject. “Did his art impress you?”
“Not any more than he did. You seem to know each other pretty well.”
“We’ve spent some time together. When I first agreed to take him on, I flew to Phoenix to see his body of work.”
“Is that all you saw?”
The raw desire in Jake’s eyes gave Tori a shiver. Could he be jealous? She wasn’t the type of woman to falsely feed that jealousy. “That’s all I saw. We spent a lot of time together poring over his paintings. We went to lunch and dinner. But I wasn’t in the market for more than an artist to sell and promote in my gallery.”
“And now?”
“W
hen it’s not tax season, Peter is deep in his paintings.”
“And you still aren’t interested in a serious involvement, anyway,” Jake said, repeating her words of a few nights ago.
“That’s exactly right.” She looked toward the nursery. “I want to see Andrew again before I go. Do you mind?”
“No. I don’t mind.” He was wearing the neutral expression again that Tori was beginning to detest. Jake didn’t let anyone see what he was feeling or thinking. Had he learned that in his work? When he was younger, he’d been much less guarded.
“Do you think it’s too late to call Nina about the crib?” she asked.
Jake shook his head. “On Friday nights she lets the boys stay up later. It’s only eleven. They’re in bed, but she’s probably pulling laundry out of the dryer. Give her a call. If she says you can use the crib, I’ll bring it over to your place in the morning. You might need some help putting it together.”
Realizing how much of a help Jake had been, he might have gotten the wrong idea. “I hope you don’t see me as a helpless female who can’t do anything on her own. Because if that’s the case…”
Holding up both hands to stop her words, he assured her, “I see you as a friend of my sister’s.”
Curiosity and the need to get close to him urged her to ask, “Aren’t you and I friends, Jake?” There was a challenge in her question, and apparently he heard it.
His lips quirked up in a small smile. “We’re getting there.”
This crazy dance she and Jake were doing made her feel off balance. His kisses taught her how deep passion could run between a man and a woman. Yet the walls he used to protect his heart seemed impenetrable. Still, having him as a friend made her want to smile.
She headed for the nursery, eager to catch another glimpse of her son.
Jake loaded Nina’s crib into the back of his truck. He’d gotten no sleep last night. Every time he’d closed his eyes, he’d seen Tori staring into that nursery, watching her baby boy as if nothing else in the world mattered. The birth of any baby was an awesome thing. But the look on Tori’s face as she watched the mirror when Andrew Michael appeared had been a sight Jake would never forget.
He was worried about what would happen to her if this adoption fell through. Then again, Tori Phillips was a strong woman. She wouldn’t give up if she truly wanted a baby.
Suddenly he saw the two of them together, in his bed, making their own baby. He swore, blinked the image away and climbed into his truck.
He’d no sooner switched on the ignition when his cell phone rang. Fishing it out of his pocket, he answered, “Galeno here.”
“Jake. It’s Phil. I’ve got that information you wanted.”
“What did you find out?”
“Charlie Nexley’s clean. No record. Pays off his credit card balances every month. I wish I could do that. He doesn’t even have an outstanding parking ticket. Now, as far as marriages and divorces and that kind of thing, there’s nothing for the state of New Mexico. But that leaves forty-nine others.”
“Nina says he’s never been married. I’d like to try and make sure about that. I might do some investigating on my own.”
“You know how it’s done.”
Phil was hinting that Jake was itching to get back into police work. He wasn’t. He was just going to stop at the car dealership where Charlie worked, look at a few cars or trucks and ask a few subtle questions. Nothing complicated. Once he was convinced Charlie was an upstanding guy, he’d drop the whole thing.
“Thanks, Phil, for doing this for me. I owe you.”
“You bet you do. I’ll remember that.”
Jake smiled as he ended the call. He missed guys like Phil. He missed the men and women he’d worked with every day. Before, his work had been filled with people. Now he lived a solitary life—except for his time with Nina and the boys, except when he was around Tori. Around her, he was torn between keeping all his defenses firmly in place or letting them all tumble down. Yet, if they tumbled down, she’d see how raw he was inside. She’d see the turmoil he always strove to hide. She’d see the guilt that woke him in the middle of the night and kept him working with his hands, rather than working with the narcotics squad and being on call for the negotiations team.
He had too much pride to let anyone see all that. He had too much pride to admit he didn’t know where his life was going. He thought about Marion’s medal tucked away in his wallet and the reason she’d given it to him. Would he ever consider police work again? He doubted it.
When Jake arrived at Tori’s house, he spotted a van parked behind her car in the driveway. Peter Emerson? He pushed down disturbing feelings about Peter and Tori together, and went to the back of his truck for the crib. He was hauling it up Tori’s front walk when her door opened.
A tall, thin woman who had waist-long hair tied in a ponytail with a colorful pink-and-yellow scarf, stepped onto Tori’s porch. She wore black, wire-rimmed spectacles, a tie-died T-shirt in fluorescent pink and green, and blue jeans. Jake estimated she was in her late forties or early fifties.
“Here’s your crib now,” the woman said with a huge smile.
Tori also came outside onto the porch.
“Did you think I’d forget?” Jake asked seriously.
Tori’s cheeks reddened. “No. But I was afraid I’d miss you. I have to meet my lawyer at the hospital in an hour. We’re going to sign the papers.”
Jake could tell she was anxious, but also excited and could hardly contain it. She was wearing a tailored, navy dress with gold buttons and a gold belt. Just looking at her made his temperature go up, and he hated his inability to control his libido around her.
They must have been gazing into each other’s eyes for a few moments because the woman cleared her throat.
Blushing again, Tori made the introductions. “Loretta Murillo, this is Jake Galeno, the friend I told you about who was with me last night when Barbara delivered.” To Jake she said, “Loretta’s my right hand at the shop. She also insists she’s going to baby-sit for me when I need her.”
“I hope that’s often. I raised three and they’re out on their own now,” Loretta told Jake. “I miss not taking care of a little one. I’d better get over to Perceptions or Mary Beth won’t be able to get in. And don’t you worry about a thing, Tori. She’s come a long way since you hired her last spring. The two of us will manage just fine while you get used to being a mom.”
Loretta gave Tori a quick hug, then hurried to her van.
As Jake carried the crib inside, he asked, “You’d let her baby-sit for you?”
“I’ve worked with Loretta for four years now, and I’ve seen her with her own children. I think I could trust her with Andrew.”
“Do you want this in the baby’s room?” Jake asked over his shoulder.
“No. In my bedroom. I want him with me. The furniture’s going to be delivered on Tuesday, and I’ll get the baby’s room ready then.”
When Jake passed the nursery, he could see that Tori had hung some decorations on the walls—colorful cloth hangings of clouds and a hot-air balloon with a little girl and boy swinging in the basket. The places he’d patched had dried to a different color than the old plaster, but with furniture in the room they would hardly be noticeable.
As Jake entered Tori’s bedroom, the classic femininity of it kicked him in the gut. There was a light, trace scent of the perfume she wore. The cream spread was covered with a scattering of violets and roses, and her curtains matched. The chenille, braided accent rugs carried tones of pink and violet and green. There were lacy scarves on her dresser and chest, and a silky, pale-pink robe hung on a hook on her closet door. He could imagine her in that robe, its soft material clinging to her body…
“Where do you want this?” he asked huskily.
She motioned to the space between the window and the bed. “Did Nina have a mattress with it? If not, I can pick one up on my way home today.”
“There’s a mattress,” Jake assured h
er, “but I’ll get the crib set up first. My toolbox is in the truck.”
And as soon as the crib was set up, he’d be on his way.
While Jake assembled the bed, he couldn’t help but notice that Tori seemed filled with nervous energy. She carried tiny clothes from the closet in the baby’s room to her dresser, and then took them back again. She stacked disposable diapers by her bedroom chair, but moved them next to the chest. She went into the laundry room and carried a pile of infant playsuits to her bedroom, dropping them on the bed. But she folded them and refolded them, tucked them into a dresser drawer, then removed them.
Finally, when the crib was standing sturdily on its own, Jake blocked her path and held her by the shoulders. “Tori, what are you doing?”
She looked a bit flustered. “I’m…I’m getting things ready.”
“No, you’re moving baby clothes from one place to another and then back again with no real purpose.”
“Until the furniture comes, I need to keep everything in here. I’ve decided not to paint for a while, not with an infant here. I’m not sure if I should keep the playsuits by the crib, or the diapers, or—”
“It doesn’t matter,” he said, enunciating each word. “What’s really bothering you?”
She went stock-still, her aquamarine eyes grew big, and she paled a bit. “I’ve never taken care of a baby before. What if I do something wrong?”
“If you feed him and keep him dry and don’t drop him, there’s not much you can do wrong.” Jake’s tone was dry and he hoped it would lighten her mood a bit.
“You make it sound as if this is going to be simple!”
“Maybe not simple. You’re going to have to learn to get to know this baby, just like you would anyone else. But from the way you held him and looked at him last night, I know it’s not going to take you very long to figure out exactly what he needs.”
Tension seemed to slide from her body. Her shoulders, not rigid now, were supple under his fingers. “When I held him last night… I can’t begin to explain how I felt. I’d do anything for him. Anything.”
He didn’t think Tori had ever looked more beautiful, more compassionate, more full of life. It was damned hard for him to drop his hands, to move back to the crib, straighten it and give it a last, experimental jiggle. “I’ll get the mattress.”
Their Baby Bond Page 8