When he went outside, he breathed in a much-needed lungful of fresh air.
“What time is your appointment?” he asked when he returned with the mattress a few minutes later.
Tori was prepared with a fitted sheet, and she slipped it on the bedding now, while he held it. “Ten o’clock.”
Jake shifted the mattress into the crib. He’d been wondering about something ever since he’d learned about this adoption. “Mind if I ask why you took the adoption route?”
When she turned away from him to pick up a mobile on the bed, she murmured, “It seemed the most practical…with me being single and all.”
Nonchalantly, he lifted the mobile’s box, glancing at the directions to see how it should be attached. “What about artificial insemination? Lots of women are choosing that now.”
“I didn’t have anyone to be a donor,” she responded quickly.
“There are anonymous donors. They even come with a medical history.”
When Tori was silent for a very long time, Jake looked up.
She was straightening the sheet, avoiding his eyes. Then she sat down on the bed with the mobile in her lap. “I can’t have children, Jake. I’ll never have my own children.”
Her news stunned him. Without thinking about the consequences, he sat on the bed next to her, his shoulder touching hers, his thigh lodged against her hip. “Why not?”
“Six years ago I was in an accident, an automobile accident. Rehab took four months.”
Instinctively, his arm went around her. “I’m so sorry, Tori. Are there other repercussions now?”
“Not physical ones. I try to keep myself in good shape and do yoga every day. But the idea of not being able to bear a child was hard for me to accept.”
Jake could almost hear what Tori wasn’t saying. Certainly a man wouldn’t leave because of that. “You said the accident was six years ago?”
She nodded. “A year afterward, my husband asked for a divorce. He wanted children and I couldn’t have them. I couldn’t have his children.”
The angry oath in Jake’s mind wouldn’t comfort Tori if it was said aloud. His arm tightened a bit. “If that’s the reason he left, you’re better off without him.”
She gazed up at Jake with her eyes full of the pain of everything that had happened. “I told myself that. But it was difficult putting my marriage and my life with Dave behind me to start over.”
“Was he with you in the accident?”
“He was driving.”
This time Jake couldn’t keep his thoughts inside. “The bastard.”
“He wasn’t hurt,” she added quietly. “The insurance company decided it wasn’t his fault. The other car skidded through a red light. But if we hadn’t been going so fast, the accident might not have been as serious as it was.”
After a pause, Jake asked, “Do you blame him?”
“I wish I could say I was bigger than that. At the beginning I did, especially after he asked for the divorce. But then I realized I was only hurting myself if I didn’t let go of the resentment, the bitterness. The insurance settlement enabled me to open the gallery, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”
The scent of her perfume, the brush of her silky hair against his hand and her beautiful blue-green eyes tempted him to kiss her again…to lay her down on the bed…to fill the immediate present with sensual pleasure they wouldn’t soon forget. But Tori had an appointment with her lawyer in half an hour.
Instead of kissing her, he brought her closer, grazed her forehead with his chin and pulled away. “We’d better get that mobile attached if you want to be on time for your appointment.”
Her eyes, which had been vulnerable a moment before, now became guarded. Brushing her hair behind her ear, she stood, the mobile with its bear and donkey and tiger swinging from the music box. “This doesn’t look too difficult, Jake. Thanks for bringing the crib over. Tell Nina I’ll get it back to her as soon as the furniture arrives.”
“You might want to keep it in the living room for when you have the baby in there. You could even wheel it into the kitchen.”
She looked down at the wheels. “I hadn’t thought about that.” A vulnerable look came into her eyes again. “Maybe Nina should give me a crash course on motherhood.”
“I’m sure she’d be willing. But I’m also pretty certain she’ll tell you that you have to learn by experience.”
“Isn’t that true of most of life?”
“I suppose it is.” Experience had always taught him to tread carefully, keep an even keel, not to reveal too much. And after Marion’s death, he’d learned his judgment was flawed and so were his instincts. He couldn’t rely on them. He could only rely on what he already knew to be true. Keeping his distance was less hazardous than getting close.
Tori checked her watch. “I’d better leave the rest of this until later. I don’t want to be late.”
“Are you and Barbara using the same lawyer?”
“My lawyer advised against that. She has her own. Since she’s eighteen, she has full say over everything she does. From what she told me, her mother was only too glad to hire and pay for a lawyer to have everything finalized.”
“But nothing about this will be final.”
“Not yet. In sixty days.”
“I know Nina won’t mind if you want to call her after you bring the baby home.”
“Thanks. I’ll let her know how everything’s going.”
“You don’t have to see me out. Good luck with all this, Tori.”
“Thanks for your help, Jake, with Barbara and all. I really appreciate it.”
“No thanks are necessary. I’ll check back in a while and see how you’re doing.”
He knew he shouldn’t. Yet he couldn’t just break whatever connection he and Tori had, either. Maybe soon he could figure out why.
When he left, Tori was standing at the crib, fiddling with the mobile. She’d started her life over and she knew where she was going.
Now he had to find that same kind of direction.
When Tori brought little Andy into her house in his car seat on Sunday, she set him on the living-room sofa and sat beside him. He’d been crying at the hospital, but as soon as she’d put him in the car and started it, he’d fallen asleep. She was filled with joy and such overwhelming love.
She wanted to call Jake.
But she couldn’t…wouldn’t…shouldn’t.
As she touched the baby’s cheeks, dreams of the future ran rampant through her head and she wanted to discuss them with Jake. Everything from nursery school to college, soccer versus football, whether she should encourage Andy to play a musical instrument even if he didn’t want to. Somehow, she knew Jake would understand her concerns and her dreams. Yet he wanted to keep his distance, and she didn’t know how trusting she could be if they ever did get close.
Unable to resist the temptation of holding her son, Tori unfastened the buckle and gathered him up, crooning to him for a few moments. Maybe her mother would understand what she was feeling. Sylvia Phillips had made arrangements to come visit Tori at the end of October. They had planned her trip considering Barbara might deliver the baby late. The best-laid plans…
Smiling down at her seven-pound bundle, Tori scooted to the other end of the sofa and picked up the cordless phone. She’d tried to call her mom last night, but no one had answered. She hadn’t wanted to leave a message about something this important. Later last night, she’d decided to wait to tell her mom the good news until she had Andrew snuggled in her arms.
With Andy in her arms, she was hopeful about everything. Barbara had left the hospital late yesterday afternoon. Tori had hugged her goodbye, and the teenager had seemed relieved that everything was over. Tori was more confident now that the adoption would proceed smoothly. After Tori had signed the guardianship papers, she’d fed Andrew for the first time and felt the stirrings of motherhood take hold of her. She’d gone back again last evening and done the same. The nurse had told her she was a
natural, and she had relaxed a bit.
Now she dialed her mother and waited. After Sylvia picked up, Tori said, “I’m a mom!”
“Oh, honey, that’s wonderful! How much did he weigh?” Sylvia asked with the same excitement Tori felt.
“Seven pounds, two ounces. He’s a perfect armful. He’s got dark-brown hair and beautiful gray-blue eyes.”
“He’s early. Was there a problem?”
“No. There’s always room for error with due dates, and the doctor said most babies come into the world when they’re ready. I wish you could see him.”
“I wish I could see him, too. I can’t wait to officially be his godmother. The next few weeks will pass so fast you won’t know what hit you. I wish I could get off work now and visit, but vacations at the firm are planned months ahead. So is the workload. I can’t leave them in the lurch.”
Her mother had taken classes at her parish church. Tori had one more sacramental preparation session to attend before Andrew could be baptized. She and Barbara had discussed having the baptism at the beginning of November and Barbara had had no objections. “I know you have to stick to your schedule,” Tori said to her mother. “I’ll take lots of pictures. You won’t miss a thing.”
Sylvia laughed and then her laugh dwindled away. “Tori, there’s been something I’ve wanted to ask you.”
Tori caught the anxious note in her mother’s tone. “What?”
“I’ve…I’ve been seeing someone. We’ve been dating about seven months now, and I think it’s serious.”
Sylvia Phillips hadn’t dated in all the years since Tori’s father had left. She’d never wanted to date, never considered putting herself in the position of having a man leave her again.
Tori swallowed hard. “What’s his name?”
“His name is Sean Brady. He’s Irish.”
“Where did you meet him?”
“At the grocery store, of all places. He’s the manager. I often saw him there when I did my weekly shopping, and eventually we started nodding to each other. Then one week the cashier made a mistake on my bill, and Sean took care of me at the service desk. It was almost closing time and he insisted on walking me to my car since one of the parking-lot lights was out.” She hurried on. “After that…we met for coffee and started going to those weekly senior programs the high school offers. Anyway, we started talking more on the phone, seeing each other more often. He’s…he’s terrific, Tori, and I want you to meet him. Would you mind if I bring him to Santa Fe when I come? We know your house is small. We’d stay in a hotel.”
When Andy raised one tiny fist to his cheek, Tori tried to absorb everything her mother had said. She touched his curled fingers. When Tori was in college, her mother had moved to Kansas to take care of Tori’s grandmother before her death and had decided to stay. She and her mom saw each other only three or four times a year when Tori flew to Kansas or her mom traveled to New Mexico. She’d been so looking forward to this visit.
As if her mother had read her thoughts, she said, “Sean told me he won’t hang around all the time because he knows I want to spend time with you. He insists he’ll see the sights since he’s never been to Santa Fe. We’d still have time together, and I can help you with the baby. Sean’s good with babies, too. He has five grandkids. What do you think, honey? If you don’t want him to come, I’ll just tell him we’ll do it another time. Maybe you could meet him at Christmas. But I don’t know if you’d want to travel with the baby and all.”
Tori hadn’t thought ahead to Christmas and traveling to Kansas. From the tone of her mom’s voice, Tori could tell her mother really wanted to bring Sean Brady along. It surprised Tori to no end, considering her mom’s attitude before this. “By becoming serious, do you mean you’re considering marrying again?”
There was a long pause until Sylvia responded, “I know I said I never would. But I hadn’t met Sean then. He’s nothing like your father.”
Just like Jake was nothing like Dave.
You don’t know that for sure, an inner voice warned Tori.
Focusing on her mother again, Tori knew she couldn’t refuse to meet a man who was becoming important in her mom’s life. If this Sean Brady could make her mother happy… “It’s fine with me if he wants to come along. But instead of a hotel, I know of a few bed-and-breakfasts that are reasonable. Would you be interested in that instead?”
“A bed-and-breakfast would be lovely.”
“I can make reservations for you, but I need to know—one room or two?”
“One room,” her mother said quietly. “I hope you’re not shocked.”
Tori wasn’t sure if she was or wasn’t. Before she could reply, Andy began squirming and his mouth opened in a soft baby cry.
“Uh-oh, Mom. I think it’s time to feed the baby. I’ll check into the bed-and-breakfasts. At the end of October, availability shouldn’t be a problem.”
As Andrew’s cries became louder, Tori said goodbye and hung up. Then she went into the kitchen to warm one of the bottles she’d prepared that morning. When she put her baby to her shoulder, she remembered again her father leaving with his suitcases…and Dave’s empty closet the day after he’d moved out.
Experience told her that men didn’t stay.
She warmed a dish of water in the microwave and then set the bottle in it, putting the idea of calling Jake Galeno out of her head.
Chapter Seven
Tori was juggling Andy from shoulder to shoulder, trying to quiet him, when her doorbell pealed on Wednesday evening. She’d had several visitors bearing gifts—her neighbor, Peter, Mary Beth and Loretta. She wasn’t sure anyone else knew about Andy and the adoption.
With Andy wailing, she patted his back, went to the door and found Jake.
He was standing there with some kind of folded table, looking nonchalant, casual and very sexy in a blue chambray shirt and black jeans.
Before she could even say “hi,” he explained, “Nina said this is something you had to have. It’s a ‘bathinette.’ I told her you might not have anywhere to put it—”
She raised her voice over Andy’s crying. “He’s having a fussy spell. Come on in.”
After Jake stepped inside, he propped the bathinette against the wall and took Andy from her. “Sometimes a change helps.”
His slow smile made Tori’s heart skip a beat.
The sight of Jake holding her son—she already thought of Andy as her son—made her chest tighten. As soon as Jake had taken Andy, the baby’s squalls quieted.
Jake was patting the little boy’s back like a pro. Tori decided he’d gotten a lot of experience with babies by helping Nina with the twins when they were smaller.
For the past few days, Tori had tried to keep Jake out of her thoughts. Now with him sitting on the couch with her son, she found it impossible to deny that she’d missed him.
But how could she miss him when he wasn’t even part of her life? Or was he becoming a part of her life?
To keep her mind off of the feelings swirling around inside of her, she crossed to the bathinette to examine it. “I’ll call Nina to thank her. That plastic tub is so hard to use. This little hammock should work well. Maybe if I give him a bath, he’ll fall asleep.”
“Has he been doing any of that?” Jake asked wryly.
Jake’s hair was mussed by the wind. Instead of imagining herself running her fingers through it, she lifted the little hammock and ran her hand over it. “Actually, he has. But this is his fussy time, from about five until eight. Then he usually sleeps until two in the morning.”
“If you’re getting a couple of good chunks of sleep, you’re lucky.”
“I called the nurse practitioner about his fussing, and she said it’s not unusual. I just have to make sure he’s fed and dry and then get through the rest.”
“Do you want to try to bathe him?” Jake asked. “Sometimes an extra pair of hands helps.”
She had the feeling that Jake preferred doing something other than sitting and making sma
ll talk…or letting chemistry pulse between them. That chemistry was getting harder and harder to ignore.
When Jake crossed to her, he easily held Andrew against one shoulder. Pointing to the bathinette, he said, “The top’s a changing table. It has a hose so you can drain it into a bucket to empty the water after you fill it. Do you want it in his bedroom?”
“It should fit next to his crib.”
Jake handed Andy to her and picked up the bathinette. “I’m sure he’d prefer if you get him ready. I’ll set it up.”
A few moments later Jake had filled the bathinette, and Tori had attached the little hammock that would support Andy’s body above the water.
“This is great,” she admitted, as she used baby wash and a soft cloth on her son.
When Andy kicked his legs and seemed to like the feel of the water dripping over him, she and Jake both laughed. Then a silent moment of awareness passed between them.
Taking a deep breath, Tori broke the silence. “Do you think Nina intends to have more children?”
“If this thing works out with Charlie, she might.”
“Are you and Charlie getting along any better?”
Jake’s forehead creased as he seemed to debate with himself. Then he answered, “I went into the car dealership when he wasn’t there and asked a few questions. Phil checked him out for me, too. His background search didn’t turn up anything. So now I guess I should just get to know him better and find out what he’s really like.”
“You don’t think Nina’s doing that?”
“I think her marriage to Frank is something she just wants to forget. I don’t want her jumping headlong into another one and then have to deal with those repercussions, too.”
Not wanting Andy to get chilled, Tori finished his bath quickly. Jake appeared at her elbow and peered over her shoulder. When she turned with the baby, she was almost in Jake’s arms. “I’ve got to get him wrapped up,” she murmured.
Their Baby Bond Page 9