The Suicide King Volume 1 (The Fallocaust Series Book 3)

by Quil Carter

  The embarrassment was unbearable, but I couldn’t take off and go patrolling as was my usual escape. I couldn’t leave him; he already didn’t want to be in this town.

  Killian took my hand and squeezed it, but then jumped again when there was a ferocious screaming growl coming from behind me. We both looked and saw a snarling rat, his chain tight, growling and snapping at us. This one was missing its legs however; he was clawing at the ground trying to drag himself towards us, a plastic dog bowl of water beside him with wooden bits in it, and a chewed-on femur bone resting in front. I wonder if it was his actual leg bone.

  “Shut the hell up, retard!” I snapped. Then on the other side of the street another staked rat began to scream at us. This was another man, doing the same viscous snarling like they were dogs.

  Like I had been placed into a small dark room, a wave of anxious claustrophobia suddenly grasped onto me. Even though I was out in the open, I felt the world closing in on all sides of me, the snarling racket of the rats becoming physical barriers that were pressing against me, seeping into my pores to inject anxiety right into my bloodstream.

  “Shut up!” I screamed, a scream unlike my own. I walked over to one of the rats, the subhuman snarling and snapping and pulling on his chain, and I kicked him in the face.

  He fell back with a shriek and a moan, blood trickling from his mouth like I’d turned on a faucet. And when I turned to shut the other one up, it cowered and backed away, its teeth bared but its eyes looking up at me in submission.

  Behind him, I saw a woman with short brown hair. She was staring at us from the window of the house. She didn’t have her eyes sewn shut but… it was hard to make out through the reflection but I think her mouth was sewn.

  Killian took my hand and started pulling me away. “We need to get a room for you,” he said anxiously. I gripped hard onto his hand, it was all I could do to keep myself from falling apart. My mind was racing, my breathing was getting short.

  I heard cawing around me, the crows had started to make their racket. I saw a flicker of black from the corner of my eye and looked behind me to see the crows landing beside the rat I’d kicked. The subhuman himself was holding his jaw and moaning, and the birds were clustered around him like black insects – they were drinking his blood and one was even hopping up to pick at his face.

  “Follow me, baby, it’s okay,” Killian said. “I…” He reached into his bag, his eyes looking around to see if we’d been noticed. “… I have some Xanax in my bag.”

  No. I don’t need to fucking be drugged. I was fine. There was nothing fucking wrong with me!

  There was… there was…

  … there was something wrong with me.

  And here I was in the middle of a crazed fucking cult, slowly losing my mind and ignoring the obvious signs that we should get the fuck out of there, all because I needed a distraction from these feelings cannibalizing what should’ve been a golden time for me and Killian.

  “I’m fine…” I whispered harshly, but I knew I wasn’t. I let Killian lead me down the road, black and red houses on either side of us, almost all with staked rats, and we saw in the distance what looked like an old hotel. As soon as Killian saw it, he started walking faster, until he was practically running with me.

  But when we got to the hotel we saw that it was beyond being inhabitable. The moss-covered roof had collapsed entirely on the left-hand side, and the weight from that had squashed several storeys below it. The hotel looked like it was squinting at us now from how the windows were crushed; a Quasimodo of a building with green and black slime stuck to the wooden siding on the front, and moss growing in thick clumps on the boards that had fallen to the ground. All of the windows looked to have been removed, and now shredded curtains hung sadly from the open frames, like tendons and flesh from gaping gashes.

  The courtyard was beautiful though. It was like a real lawn you’d see on TV and movies, short green grass with dandelions both the yellow ones and the blowing-on puffy white ones. There was also a fountain in the middle of it, not in use and also slimy, but surrounded by painted rocks and, weirdly, garden gnomes. I wanted to admire everything, take a closer look at it, but I was too anxious. My head was stuffed to capacity and there was no room to appreciate what I was seeing.

  “Are you looking for a place to spend the night?” Killian and I turned to see an ancient-looking old man standing with a younger guy, probably Reno’s age. The two of them were dressed in the black cloak get-up, red eyes and black hair too, but the old man was sporting a long white beard.

  “Yeah,” Killian said. “We… we thought there were rooms here…” Killian gave the hotel another glance and didn’t even bother to finish his sentence when the old man nodded.

  “Since our Lord Sanguine and his angel cleared away the radiation, our buildings deteriorated quicker,” the old man said, leaning heavily on a cane. He looked at the building and smiled at it, a glint of longing in his eyes. “But that is Sanguine’s way, is it not? The building was putrid, and all that is putrid dies. Only those clean and pure deserve immortality.” He smiled at his. “Word of you coming to our town spread quickly. You will be spending the night then, after worship?”

  “Uh…” Killian stammered. “We just need to rest before… the worship. We will be heading back in the evening.”

  But the man shook his head. “I’d advise against it. Ravers… ravers have been spotted, a new species of them.” Jade’s ravers were spreading it seemed. “I have a place for you two, you’re welcome to stay.” He turned around and waved for us to follow him. Killian looked hesitant, but with another glance in my direction, he nodded.

  “Yeah,” Killian said. “We heard the ravers were taking over towns.”

  “Yes,” Old Man said. “Man on the Hill has guaranteed our protection. He and our Angel Adi will protect us.”

  And we still didn’t know who he was. Killian’s heart jumping at the mention of Mantis made me wonder if Perish had told him it was him. But if so, who was Angel Adi?

  I didn’t care. I really didn’t care.

  The Old Man led us down a street that branched off north from the main one we were on. About a quarter block down, past more red and black houses and chained rats, most of them missing limbs, he led us to a bunch of small houses that looked to have been built recently. The wood on these houses were covered in tar to preserve them, and I realized that the black I’d been seeing on some of the houses was most likely tar as well.

  “How much?” Killian asked when he stopped us in front of one of the mini houses. He started to unzip his satchel but the man shook his head.

  “Sanguine would not approve of charging people to stay for his worship,” the man replied with a bow of his head. He opened his mouth to say more, when a sharp scream ripped through the air. We looked to our lefts where it had resonated from, Killian’s eyes filling with fear; but all that was behind the small houses was the concrete barrier that I assumed held all of their plants and stuff.

  “Just our tribute for tonight’s ceremony,” the younger one said, looking completely unfazed. “I suggest not eating tonight, we will provide you with a grand feast.” He clasped his hands and bobbed his head like a bird before smiling at us. “I am Zachariah, and may Sanguine bless you.”

  I didn’t even look around the room we’d been put in, as soon as the door closed I was digging out Dilaudid pills from my cargo pants and crushing them with the butt of my combat knife. Killian was smart enough to wait until I’d inhaled a good amount.

  I got up and sat down on one of the two single beds and buried my face into my hands. I only looked up when Killian nudged my hand; he had a Xanax pill resting in his palm.

  The anger that flared inside of me was unexpected, but it grabbed me with both hands and dug its claws into my brain. Before I could tell myself not to, I smacked the Xanax pill right out of Killian’s hand.

  The boy looked at me like I’d just smacked him across the face.

  “I don’t need t
o be fucking drugged!” I snapped and even when I was saying it I knew how ridiculous it was for me to say it. I’d just downed two Dilaudid pills and I was in this fucking room because I was losing control.

  Killian stared at me, and I thought he was going to burst into tears but he didn’t…

  He got mad back.

  “Then should we go and walk around with the fucking cultists outside some more?” he said coolly. “Or should we save our social interactions for tonight’s worship of the sengil of the very man we’re trying to remain dead to?” He picked up the Xanax pill, absolutely fuming. “I’ve humoured you enough with this shit, Reaver. I want to get the fuck out of here and you’re not able to make intelligent decisions right now. We’re leaving in an hour.”

  And like he was a lighter and I was a stack of dynamite, one with a thousand fuses sticking out of me, I exploded.

  “Since when do you fucking tell me what I can and can’t do?” I snarled. Killian’s face paled and he took a step back from me. I wasn’t having it though. I fucking stood up and spread out my arms, challenging him. “Who the fuck do you think you are? You’re going to control me now? You’re going to tell me what I can and can’t do like you’re my fucking master?”

  Killian took another step back, the Xanax pill in his closed fist. “No,” he said. “But you’re crazy if you don’t think that still remaining in this insane cult town is a smart idea.”

  “Who the fuck cares if it’s a smart idea?” I yelled. I slammed my hand down on the side table by the bed. “You’re fucking immortal, so am I. I finally don’t have to worry about you fucking dying and maybe I don’t want to run with my tail between my legs whenever we stumble upon something cool.”

  “Cool!?” Killian yelled back. Then he shook his head, his lips pursed in anger. “This isn’t about you wanting a thrill because I can’t die anymore. There’s…” Just like that the anger faded and his eyes filled with worry. “There’s something you’re… trying to get away from, isn’t there?”

  His comment lit my brain on fire and made it into an oven; heat swept me, frying my face, my ears, the back of my neck. I stared at him, not knowing what to do, not knowing what to say… and terrified of what he was going to say next.

  Because I knew what it would be.

  “Maybe we should talk about… what happened by the river.”

  I got up off of the bed and beelined it to the door. Killian screamed at me to stop, sounding desperate, and he jumped in between me and my only path to escape.

  “Lay down, please,” Killian begged, there were tears in his eyes. “I won’t mention it. Please, please, Reaver, I’m begging you… listen to me and just lay down. I won’t say anything.” Then he paused like he was thinking about something. “I’ll go, okay? I’ll go since I have the money; I have our shopping list. You lay down and I’ll get our supplies.”

  My Reaver instinct told me to do the opposite of what he suggested but… the drugs were hitting me and I felt like utter shit. I wanted to go into zombieland for a while, and tune everything out.

  Against all my reasoning… I nodded. “Just…” I turned around and pointed to my gun. “Take my M16 and if you feel even a little bit threatened… shoot him off and I’ll be there. Don’t, just don’t go anywhere but the store.”

  I heard him sigh with relief. I didn’t look at him and just laid down on one of the beds.

  “I won’t be long, baby, have a good sleep.” I tensed when I felt him rub my shoulder. “We’ll go to the worship tonight and we can gawk at the weirdoes.” He kissed my cheek and I jerked my head away. The little idiot needed to stop touching me. “Be right back.”

  And he left, and I was alone.

  Once again alone with my thoughts.

  Chapter 9

  Reaver

  I yawned and pinched my fingers against the leather strap across my chest. I drew out the strap and tried to position it where it would usually rest on my chest and shoulders but since Killian had borrowed it, all of my grooves had been disturbed. Thankfully, the stress of it always being buckled in one position had warped the leather, but it was still uncomfortable.

  Killian shrunk down when I gave him a haughty look. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  “Usually you just let it hang down loosely,” I said, trying to adjust it properly. It was like when someone borrows your quad and they fuck with the rear view mirror. “You have shitty small shoulders.”

  “Sorry, baby,” Killian said. He got behind me and laughed lightly. “It’s the collar of your jacket, dummy. It’s scrunched underneath the strap and that’s raising it and making it feel funny.” With a few quick movements, him straightening out my collar I assumed, the holder was adjusted and it rested as it should.

  “There,” Killian said, patting my back. “See? It wasn’t me. I put everything back how it was before I even woke you up.” He began to walk beside me again and there was a light laugh to my left. That would be Zach, both Zachariah, and the older man Charles, were taking us to this evening’s worship.

  Killian had woken me up a couple hours after he’d left to get our supplies. I was surprised that I’d slept for so long; I didn’t realize I was this tired.

  But I didn’t believe it was physically tired… it was just mental exhaustion and what I think could’ve been the beginning of an anxiety attack – that I didn’t like at all.

  “How long have you two been together for?” Zach asked. His eyes had been freshly reddened, and from the spots of red on his fingers I did believe that it was from some sort of food colouring. They also had face powder on to make them appear more pale, and weirdly, they all had silver pock mark scars on their eyelids and mouth – I think at one point in time they’d all had their eyes and lips sewn shut.

  “A year…?” Killian said. And he looked at me as if expecting me to know. “It’s the beginning of June now and it was the summer when we first got together. Do… we have an anniversary?”

  I snorted. “Anniversary? Who even has those anymore?” It was almost as ridiculous as me being forced to ask him to be my boyfriend last year. He was my partner, that’s all that needed to be said. I wasn’t fucking taking him to the ice cream social or the prom; I wasn’t woo’ing him for his love.

  But Killian seemed set on the idea. “Let’s make our anniversary today!”

  “Or…” I filled with mock enthusiasm. “I got an idea!”

  Killian grinned with anticipation.

  “Let’s make it yesterday so we don’t have to deal with stupid anniversaries!”

  His face fell and I got a push for that. “Asshole.”

  Zach chuckled. “We have our own anniversaries. On August 2nd it will be forty years since our Lord Sanguine cleared Melchai of radiation. You have heard we will be holding a grand festival to celebrate it.” Then he frowned. “Unfortunately we’re low on sacrifices. Our slave caravan didn’t arrive and we fear he never will.” Ah, Hopper’s caravan. Nope, they’ll never be seen again, bud. “But we will make due. We always do.”

  “And these sacrifices are for Man on the Hill?” Killian asked, his voice only slightly inquisitive. I could tell he was trying to play it cool, but inside he was listening intently for any information he could get. Killian had calmed down about me wanting to stay in this town, even though they were obviously nuts; but in exchange for him not chewing my ear off about it, he was digging for information.

  “Yes, our prophet.” Like all of the other ones we’d talked to, Zach got this dreamy look in his eye, like he was talking about a celebrity. “When you come for our festival, you will get to look upon him. He speaks the words of Sanguine and he blesses us with new seeds to plant and he was the one who taught us about the ultimate purification.”

  “The ultimate purification?” I asked. We were walking along the concrete wall now and I could hear people inside, and see other ‘Blood Crows’ filing in from all directions. There were a lot of fucking great smelling things coming from inside of those walls now too.

 
“Yes,” Zach said with a nod. “We use slaves a lot of the time, but twice a year we let Sanguine choose which of us is to receive this ultimate blessing. A way for us to ensure our harvest is bountiful.”

  The conversation was halted when we approached a wooden gate reinforced with metal. Zach and Charles got ahead of us, and when another Blood Crow gave us the stink eye, he politely told him that we were with them.

  When I walked in, I was blown away. I’d had a camera feed inside of Perish’s growing room, but what was inside of this concrete wall was like comparing Jupiter to Pluto. It was huge!

  There were raised beds everywhere, the wood bright yellow and aromatic, and each bed was full of black dirt with flecks of white. Growing in that dirt were plants so green I found my eyes squinting, and fruits and vegetables of all colours that weighed down the plants they were attached to. They even had an irrigation system similar to the one I’d hooked up in Aras, black tubing with holes drilled into it, and I could see squirts of water shooting up into the air.

  It was mesmerizing to look at and I kept blinking my eyes like an idiot as we walked into this enclosed area. The smell was something else too, the greywastes always smelled musty and dry but the smell was like… wet and rich.

  But I had to keep my composure. I resisted the urge to shoot everyone just so I could pet and poke and dissect all of the plants without their judgement, and carried on. It didn’t keep me from looking though; they even had more of the real trees in the distance. However, where we were going was off to the left, through a narrow concrete corridor that was more closed-in than I would’ve liked it to be.

  “We’re taking over this town,” I hissed to Killian. Killian nudged me in the side but didn’t say anything. I could tell he was nervous but hiding it.

  Yeah, I knew a thousand things could go wrong here and if Killian was still mortal I would’ve never have stayed. But it was liberating to go out and explore shit without constantly having to keep Killian alive. So I wanted to have some fun, sue me.