by Quil Carter
But it didn’t remain deserted for long. I spotted a raver hunched over something. His head moving back and forth like he was eating. He was dressed in only pink shorts and sandals, and was growing a good amount of blond hair on his head.
It was a chipped raver. I glanced around to make sure I didn’t have a sniper pointing a gun at me, and said a loud Kah!
The raver jumped to his feet and whirled around. I smiled when I recognized him. I’d named him Sunny because his mouth had been split open with a knife, making him look like he was smiling even when he wasn’t. The name extended past his disfigurement, however; he had a great temperament and did actually smile a lot. I don’t think I could’ve found a better raver to meet.
“KING JADE!” Sunny exclaimed; the scars still on his face and his excited grin giving him quite the disturbing appearance. “KING JADE! KingJadeKingJadeKingJadeKingJade!” He said this so fast my name became just one syllable, and with his arms open, he ran to me and threw them around me. He started laughing and jumping up and down in the air, and even though my heart was broken, I couldn’t help but smile and let out a chuckle too.
“Hey, Sunny,” I said to him with a laugh. I pried him off of me and put a hand on his head; he wiggled around in excited anticipation over me officially greeting him.
“Kah!” I said with a smile. Sunny looked up and beamed at me. His blond hair now long enough to fall over his brow. He had a foggy left eye that had never cleared up, so I guessed he’d always been blind in it, but the right one was brilliant and crystal blue.
“Kah!” Sunny greeted me back and grabbed my hand. “Come see Beast. Come say hello.” Sunny started dragging me down the street, and by now other ravers had come out of alleyways and buildings to see what all the commotion was.
Some of the others were new, but a lot of them recognized me. While I was dragged down the street, the ravers shouted my name and the Kah! greeting and some even patted my shoulders and arms with smiling faces.
I saw ravers with assault rifles and semi-automatics on their backs, knives and handguns on leather belts. All of them were wearing clothes and a great deal of them had hair on their heads and grey rough scabs on their bodies from where their previously open wounds had calcified and hardened. It was incredible, and to think that I’d done all of this filled me with pride. I just wish my heart wasn’t disintegrating at the moment so I could actually enjoy it.
Finally we reached what I believed was their town center. In all actuality, it was just an intersection but an intersection of the main road so there was a double-lane street and single lanes branching off to the north and west. In the middle of the road was a brick fire pit, heavily used and with scorched bones tucked in between the scrap wood, and a tipped over phone booth with chains leading to metal collars.
This town square smelled a bit better, but looking around I could see blood splatters on the pavement. I’d trained them as much as I could, but their manners still left a lot to be desired. Well, I’d need to stock up on supplies before I left so perhaps I would stay for a few days and teach them some new things. They never had to worry about catching diseases or infections because of the sestic radiation, but I’d guess they were more susceptible now with the Geigerchips.
When Beast spotted me, a wide and open grin, one that rivalled Sunny’s, spread on his face. He thumped his chest with his left hand and walked towards me.
“King Jade! Finally here,” he said, his deep voice echoing off of the tall buildings around us. All the ravers gathered in the square, talking excitedly amongst one another. I heard my name mentioned quite a bit.
Beast slapped a hand roughly on my head and Kah’d, and I did the same, then he hugged me to his chest and crushed me against him.
“About time!” Beast said when he let me go, my ribs ached so hard I had to rub them. I sure did love these guys. “We kill three men for you tonight. Big feast!” he exclaimed. Then he looked down the street and shook his head. “Quiet Man’s been locked in house. So sad. Are you late or something? Acts like hasn’t seen King Jade in ages. So sad.”
My smile turned into a confused half-smile. I glanced in the direction Beast was looking in and gave him a funny look. I felt bad for not remembering who Quiet Man was, but it was flattering that he missed me so much. “I left everyone at the same time,” I said to Beast. “That’s nice that he missed me. Invite him over for dinner tonight. I have a few corpses I drained and hung, but they’re a good day’s walking away. They might still be good though if you want to send some guys out to get them.”
“Oh, sorry, apologies.” Beast bowed his head to me. “Quiet Man our name for him. Like you named me Beast but name was Trent. Is husband. Husband’s sad you’re late.”
Beast said something else, but my ears had filled with static and pressure, so much of it it felt like someone was pushing against my forehead from the inside. It was as if I couldn’t comprehend just what he was saying, and that rendered me absolutely senseless.
Elish was here? My… my master was here?
Beasts shocking admission played over and over again in my mind. Every time I felt my mouth move in a futile attempt to achieve verbal confirmation of what had been told to me, my tongue became a useless slab of meat. I was well-aware that I was looking at Beast with dumb astonishment, my mouth open and drying out and my eyes stinging from me forgetting to blink, but I was a robot who’d lost connection to its data servers.
“Okay?” he said confused. He looked past me, then to me again, and patted my head. “Seizure again?” He flicked my nose, something they all liked to do when I was recovering from a seizure, and then patted my cheek. “Poor king,” he concluded.
“Elish?” I finally managed to sputter. I raised a hand and cupped my mouth, before I had to grab onto Beast’s arm to steady myself. “Where is he? Show me where he is. Show me where my husband is.”
Beast nodded, and turned around so his back was to me. I didn’t understand why until I remembered that he’d carried me on his back a few times when I had first been taken in and had been too weak to catch up with the others. I’d regained my strength after a while and could more than look after myself, but he seemed to have remembered.
Then, as if my mind had stopped buffering and to compensate it was overloading me with all of the data I’d missed at once, what was going on hit me and hit me hard. I looked at Beast’s back and let out a rather nervous and shrill laugh. I added another hand to my cupped mouth, unable to stifle the laughter that was rolling manically from my lips.
The ravers surrounding the square, perhaps unsure of what to do, or just seeing an opportunity to feel included in all of this, started laughing too. This only made me laugh harder, and with a shake of my head, I climbed onto Beast’s back and locked my legs around his waist.
“Okay, Beast,” I said through my laughing. I clung to him, feeling like I would float away if I didn’t. “Take me to my husband.”
In a matter of minutes, my master was going to get the shock of his life, and I was so excited about seeing him I didn’t know how I was containing it. If there was an opposite to starting a Fallocaust, some way of making the world green again and alive I would’ve done it from the sheer happiness that was gathered inside of my body. No one could stop me after this day. I could take over the world one-handed right now and still be back in Elish’s arms in time for evening tea.
And soon I would be in Elish’s arms; I knew Beast’s hug would be nothing compared to the bone-crushing embrace he would give me. What would Elish do? What would he say? I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he beat me senseless and then killed me himself for making him think I was dead. It had been a month now since Olympus burned down; a month of me being in Kerres’s possession where he’d tortured and raped me. What had Elish been doing? I knew he’d never show his emotions, but deep down I hoped he’d at least cried a little on the inside.
I refused to have expectations, however. Soon I’d be bursting through that door and those cold eyes wou
ld meet mine. I’d smell that mint and nutmeg as he embraced me and then I’d get back to my job and make us both tea. I’d tell him about my adventures and he’d probably just shrug off my supposed death with a wave of his hand and berate me for losing my wedding ring and collar.
Oh, I missed that man. I missed my master.
Beast ran with me through the streets, and I was smiling the entire time. It looked like Elish had taken residence far away, where none of the other ravers lived. That was typical Elish. He might’ve even been here when the ravers took this place over, but refused to leave his house out of pride and dignity. He was an idiot like that – but my idiot.
When Beast pointed to a rancher, and I heard a muffled generator in the distance, my heart pushed away the excitement in my chest and poured in equal parts anxious anticipation. The catalyst translated into dizziness, and when Beast stopped and I slid off of him, I became worried I might throw up on Elish’s driveway.
“He’s in there, in there for days,” Beast said to me. “Asked not to be disturbed. You drag him out for dinner tonight?”
I took in a few deep breaths but I found myself a dizzy, trembling mess.
It took me a moment to find my voice. “Give us some time alone tonight, Beast, or perhaps wait for us to come out. We haven’t seen each other in quite a long time,” I explained to him through chattering teeth. “I’d like some time alone with him.”
Beast looked disappointed but he nodded. “Okay. After done, you come and we’ll have feast.” He put a hand on my head and bowed his own. “Very happy, King Jade is back. Very happy. Come back to square soon.” I bowed back and rested a hand onto his dread-locked head, and he turned and started jogging back towards the square.
I turned and faced the rancher, trying to keep all these physical symptoms in check. For a brief moment I just stood in the driveway and stared at the house in front of me. The curtains were drawn which was kind of unlike my master, who loved a brightly lit house, but I could see the faint glow of a lamp in the living room.
Oh wow, I was trembling so bad… I was shaking in my boots. When I started walking to the entrance, three stairs then a concrete landing with an iron railing for support, I half-expected myself to fall down. My legs were just jelly. I found it so funny I was feeling this much anxiety over seeing him.
I walked up the stairs and faced the door; the door’s brown stain lifting off and peeling and the gold on the door knob flaked. Dumbly, I didn’t know what to do. Do I knock? I laughed at the absurdity of my dilemma, but eventually I raised a shaky hand… and knocked on the door.
My legs wobbled. I was silent, listening for any movement; but when I focused my hearing to pick up his footsteps, all I could hear was the bass-like drumbeats of my heart and crickets and hoppers chirping in the yellow grass that made up his front yard.
He didn’t come to the door… I knocked again and chewed on my lower lip. Did he think I was a raver? Was he sleeping? It was nine o’clock at night. I had been walking all day but the pain in my feet had disappeared with my excitement getting here. Elish had a pretty predictable schedule… he didn’t usually go to bed until midnight and if he was in the mood, we didn’t fall asleep until after three. Unless he’d been planning a night for us, then we’d go to the bedroom early.
I let out a long exhale, and not knowing what else to do, I put a hand on the door knob… and turned it.
It was unlocked. Like a dam was bursting, a new flow of anxious and excited energy flowed through me. I pushed the door open and stepped inside.
I looked around and was shocked when my senses were overwhelmed by the smell and sight of garbage and rotting food. I could see a kitchen at the end of the brown panelled hallway, pots and pans piled up and empty cans buzzing with flies. I stepped in, shut the door, and took a step towards the kitchen.
I walked down the short hallway and saw two other doorway arches before the hallway led to a kitchen. When I got to them, I looked to my right and saw doors undoubtedly leading to the bedrooms and the bathroom…
Then I looked to my left, to the living room – and I let out a strangled sob.
That couldn’t be him.
No. No. No. That couldn’t be him.
He was laying on the couch, wearing a sleeveless undershirt and cloth pants. His face was grey, and sunken in; his eyes, framed with deep black circles, glassy slits which stared off into space. I saw the faintest glimmer of purple in those faded eyes, covered by greasy blond hair that was cut shorter than I’d ever seen it. He had facial hair too, but it failed to cover the open sores I could see were littered all over his face, untreated and caked in dirt. Every part of him was squalid; his clothes just faded rags with blood and other stains.
And his arms… my mind stalled from the disbelief of seeing red puffy track marks and more dime-sized sores. It drew up in me excuse after excuse as to why I was seeing this, even telling me I was hallucinating, that Gage had killed me. That seemed more probable in this moment than the reality that my master had become a filthy drug addict. There was just no way someone I saw as such a personification of elegance could fall so far from grace.
This was Elish Dekker I was talking about. Gelus Vir. The cold chimera. There was just no way.
But the evidence was all around me. Orange caps and empty syringes were everywhere: on the coffee table, on the dirty, clothing and garbage-covered floor, and there was powder streaked on a wooden coffee table and small sniffers caked with white and yellow.
No… this wasn’t Elish. This couldn’t be my master.
I choked and took a step back. There was no way this could be him. This was a homeless vagrant, a greywaster who… who looked like Elish. Elish would never let himself get like this. There was no way my master would ever let himself stoop this low. Elish was a demigod, he was the end result of ninety-one years of refined dignity, of practiced grace and pride. This man wasn’t the man I had fallen in love with in Skyfall. The chimera with hair like the sun that cascaded down his shoulders, with amethyst eyes that shone with cold intensity, and a formidable countenance that made everyone who saw him stand in awe.
This was not the man who I saw that night I ran into his study and hid beside the fireplace. This was not the man who read to me, who abducted me and broke me, then built me up again stronger than ever.
This person I was seeing was an imposter.
Unable to look at this false man any longer, I turned away.
“Why do you keep coming back?”
I froze in place, my back turned to him. My breathing stopped, the last remains of my inhale being held hostage inside of my throat.
I closed my eyes tight and felt my jaw lock; my lips started to tremble.
It was his voice.
Dear god, it was his voice.
“Have you not tortured me enough?”
My mind was screaming at me to not turn around. What I had seen lying on that couch had overwhelmed my emotions so much, I mentally felt like I couldn’t handle seeing what I had seen again.
But even though this was the truth inside of my head, my body cared not, and turned me back around.
Two purple gems stared at me through half-open eyes. And my heart lurched when I saw the look of despair on his face. An expression I didn’t even know he knew how to make, but in his rough, dishevelled appearance, it seemed like the only look that suited him.
I looked away, unable to meet his gaze, my tongue glued to my mouth. I didn’t know what to say to him. I didn’t even know what he was saying, or why.
This strange man took the thoughts right out of my head. “You never had trouble looking at me before,” he said, his voice dull, lifeless. “In all truths… I don’t hate it when you come to me. My greatest fear is forgetting his face.”
His face?
My face?
All at once, the emotions that I had hastily hid from the shock of seeing him like this, rushed to me with an intensity that threatened to knock me off of my feet. It was as if his voice had infilt
rated the barriers I had quickly erected, destroyed them like they were made out of matchsticks, then reached down and found the love I had for him, snatched it, pulled it from me and put it on display right in front of my eyes.
A sob broke through my lips, and I ran to him.
I got down on my knees in front of the couch, and as he looked at me with confused disconnect, I threw my arms around him and sobbed.
“I’m alive,” I said through choking breaths. The strength of the emotions hitting me simultaneously were sending my normal breathing patterns into chaos. I pulled back and put my hands on both sides of his face and openly wept. “Master?” I choked. “Master? Look at me. It’s Jade. I’m here. I’m here.”
Elish’s glassy eyes found mine, the sadness pouring from them. He looked deep into my eyes and I saw a small smile appear on his lips.
“I know you’re here, Cicaro,” he whispered. He drew his hand up and gently touched my wet cheek. “I do love it when you visit. Even though you yell at your master so many of those times.”
“No. I’m here!” I sobbed. I looked down and touched his arm, an empty needle resting on his stomach where his hand had been. I could see a fresh track mark, still swollen and red. “If you didn’t become a drug addict… you’d know I was here.”
The corner of Elish’s mouth rose, a weak half-smile that made his left eye squint. “If I don’t do the drugs, love. I cannot see you.” He gently wiped my eye with his thumb. “And then how will I get to tell you how much I loved you? How sorry I am… for failing you.”
My face crumpled. I buried it into his neck, my body shaking as sob after sob shook me like an internal earthquake. All of my fear from seeing him washed away, replaced by a hollow sorrow, and love… so much love.
I never thought… not even in my wildest imagination…
“Oh, my Jade,” Elish murmured. “I thought I could have the world. I thought I deserved the world and more. I thought that was what I wanted, my greatest wish.” I raised my head as he brushed my hair away from my forehead, and as we locked eyes, he gazed deeply into my own. “When in truth, none of that mattered the moment I realized you were gone. Decades of plans, careful calculating.” He wiped away another tear; I saw his purple eyes glisten as they filled. “None of it mattered in the end. All that mattered was you.” As he said this, a tear slipped down his cheek, and it was my turn to raise a hand and wipe it away.