by Quil Carter
“Roger!” I called and turned around to head back to the horse I had killed. Admittedly though, my head was turning me in every direction trying to find something else to shoot. The field stretched on for a good half-mile in all directions. I could see the cabin off in the distance surrounded by fruit trees and even a little fence, I’m guessing to keep animals out of their garden. This place was unreal, literally unreal, this shit just didn’t exist in our time anymore, unless you were in Skyfall, I guess.
I approached the horse and kicked its head with my boot. I sheathed my M16 and brought out the machete and poked its bulging stomach a few times. It looked like they had a lot of guts inside of them.
Because morbid curiosity would always be my downfall, I raised the machete and slashed its stomach. The razor sharp blade sliced right through, leaving a fissure of white tissue in the opening. I kicked it with my boot and slashed it again, and then a second time.
On the third time I saw a piece of pink intestine appear, gravity pushing it out of the slash. I was amazed with how big it was, I did one last swipe and had to quickly jump back when the laceration burst, spilling intestines and organs down onto the green grass, barely missing my boots.
The smell was alluring. There was something about the smell of something fresh and dead that got to me. I got down on my knees and started sifting through the warm intestines, enjoying playing autopsy as I identified each larger than life organ.
I found myself needing to close my eyes, my instincts were starting to get away from me. I had been too busy joking around with Nero to enjoy taking the life of this rare creature, and I wanted to satiate the bloodlust that was starting to parch my throat.
I swallowed and rose, then started hacking off the horses head. That didn’t help though, every low thunk of the machete against the horse’s neck, and the continuous flow of the perfumy blood, only made it worse. And soon I was looking behind me, and to where we had been to try and find something else to kill.
Something big, like the horse. I looked down, and with one last chop, I severed the last of its spine. I sliced through it and kicked the horses head to the side. Then I got down on my knees and ran my hand along the cooling red meat. I could feel my heart pounding now, pumping hot water through me, and pooling in all the wrong places.
Or the right places.
“Have you gotten to the meat yet?” I suddenly heard Nero call.
My head jerked towards Nero.
And as I slowly got to my feet, Nero stopped in his tracks, the horse’s head balanced on his shoulders.
Nero’s eyebrows raised. “Well, that’s an interesting look on you…” he said and took a step back. “Let’s go… find something else to kill.”
I lowered my head and started walking towards this six foot five brute chimera. This challenge that would satisfy the uncontrollable instincts inside of me that was demanding for me to take a life in the most gruesome way possible.
My mind shot a direct feed of images into my brain, and I was once again reminded just who this chimera was. It made a grin come to my lips, and I broke into a run.
But to my anger, Nero didn’t run. He dropped the machete onto the ground, raised his hands, and did the ‘come here’ motion towards himself.
I swung the machete at his head, but he was quicker than his appearance made him out to be, Nero ducked and grabbed the nape of my neck, and pulled me off of my feet.
I was brought to the ground with a snarl, and before I could flip myself up to standing, a boot slammed down onto my chest, and another one on the hand clenching the machete. He reached down and grabbed the machete and threw it, then removed his boot.
“Make it a fair fight,” he said lowly, and stepped away from me as I jumped to my feet.
“Like you fucking did?” I snarled back, a growl now sounding as I slowly walked a circle around him. “Don’t preach fair to me, Goose.”
“Duck and Goose, I like it,” Nero said, not taking his eyes off of me. He moved with me as I walked around him, his arms out and ready for my next attack. “Come on, bro, don’t let all that bloodlust go to waste. Take it out on me. I–”
I ran at him, and when he reached out to grab me, I skidded like I was stealing third base, right underneath his swinging arms. In a flash, I was on my feet, and jumping towards his back.
My eyes fixed on his neck, partially covered with black hair starting to curl away from the nape. With it in my sights, I opened my mouth; and when I was close enough, I leaned down and bit into the side of his neck, my arms grabbing onto his shoulders to steady myself.
“What’s with you fucks and necks?” Nero bellowed. I kneaded my teeth into the skin, and when the skin broke and the blood spilled into my mouth, my mind lit up like an exploded firework.
Chimera blood. I started gnawing at his neck, desperate for more. Timothy’s blood was nothing compared to this, this was something else entirely. It was aromatic, bursting with a flavour that I felt an immediate addiction to. It had such a powerful hold on me, I completely lost my bearings. I forgot that I was in the middle of a fight, and my body did too, because I felt the spring of desperation quickly morph itself into lust.
And he knew – that fuck knew. Nero grabbed me by my hair and wrenched my mouth away from his neck. He pushed me off and turned around, my hair still in his hands, then he wrenched my head up and locked our lips together.
My body was overcome with lust, the blood mixing in with the chimera thirst making a dangerous concoction. Without a single prompt from his lips, mine opened, and our tongues picked up right where they’d left off several days ago on the top floor of the mansion.
Except he wasn’t being controlled by a parasite, and I wasn’t trying to distract him.
And, unlike now, I didn’t have a hard cock pulsing with heat between my legs.
I closed my eyes, Nero’s hands everywhere and mine were too. I slid them up his shirt and his slid down my cargo pants. I didn’t feel him unbutton them, but I felt him grab my cock and pull it out. A moan resonated in my throat, the sound of it lost from his tongue deep in my mouth, and our heavy breathing accelerating with every minute. The next thing I knew he was sliding his hand up and down it, each stroke feeling like the antidote to a third degree burn.
Then, like what had happened many times before…
… my reality was taken from me.
“Make him cum, Kiki.”
“That’s right, my little fuck-boy.” I could hear that taunting laugh, so close to my ears I cringed from the heat of his breath. Worse still, the burning lust controlling me like a puppet disappeared, and like an avalanche, the anxiousness, the shame, the humiliation came back. It stuck to me like a bad stink, sinking into all crevices of my skin and entering my body to contaminate all good feelings I had managed to cultivate since I’d escaped from that bedroom.
Then the climax, the feeling that I knew would set me over the edge, the pressure between my legs that lit the firecrackers that were strung throughout my body. The one that had woken me from the dead, and had sent me to the white flames.
“All virgins bleed,” I heard him hiss in my ear.
I gasped, and when I felt his tongue still in my mouth, and the scent of him all around me, I wrenched away from him and stumbled backwards. My hand went to my chest as it tightened like drying leather, and I took in a sharp inhale.
But no air entered my lungs.
“Reav?”
My eyes shot up to him and I saw Nero standing over me. His jacket covered in blood, his hands too, and a glisten of saliva on his lips which I knew was my own.
I was hyperventilating, I knew what was coming. I had to get away from there as quickly as I could. I had to go somewhere, some place dark. I needed to fix myself. Why wasn’t I fucking fixed yet?
After that was just flashes and blurs. I was running up the trail, then through the gate, but I didn’t fully get a hold of reality until I was in Adler’s room with the door closed and the lights off. By now I was drenched
with sweat, taking in gasping wheezes, and feeling like I was going insane. The room was closing in on me – no, the world was closing in on me. It was becoming smaller and smaller, pressing up against my body and crushing me. I had to get fresh air, no, no, I had to stay where it was dark and enclosed. No, I needed, I needed… drugs, no, alcohol, no, no I needed to just fucking die.
This was it. I was broken. If I wasn’t broken before, now proved it. I didn’t know what I was more pissed at myself for: making out with Nero, or that fucking PTSD flashback ambushing me during the act, just like when I was with Killian, then sending me into another panic attack, another god damn tailspin.
I thought that asshole was supposed to help me fix this shit? If making out with me and pulling on my cock was his solution, then he was a fucking retard. Oh, what the fuck did I expect from Nero?
Killian is going to kill me, but at this rate I’ll have killed myself first.
My eyes shut, and my teeth locked so tight that the familiar squeaking could be heard. I waited for the crack and the shard of tooth, but instead my mouth opened and I let out a scream so loud I was sure Melchai heard it.
I slammed my fists against the wall, and as scream after scream rolled from my lips, I trashed everything I could get a hold of that I hadn’t already previously broken. I was done. I was so fucking done with this. I was finished with not being in control of anything. No wonder I couldn’t control Killian, I didn’t even know how to handle myself anymore.
Ever since Nero… ever since that asshole took my fucking power away. And what does he want me to do? Take it back? How the fuck can I take back what he stole? I don’t even have enough of me left to hate him, and yet he still haunts me at every step. How can I take anything from him?
Well, what did he take from you?
I looked at the floor, the room echoing with the sounds of my ragged breathing.
He took from me something that… I didn’t know was possible to take.
He made me feel violated, and no one had ever made me feel that way before. I hated myself because I felt like such a… little bitch for having such a reaction to some physical act. That was what he took from me, he took my ability to feel unbreakable.
You gave him that power to take.
I know.
Well, go get it back.
How? Kill him? He won’t fucking care. Rape him? Still wouldn’t fucking care.
Why does everything have to be solved with violence? Take it back a different way.
I laughed out loud at myself. “I’m a chimera,” I mumbled. “Everything has to be won with violence. Even Elish’s solution for me was to go and kill. Too bad killing just makes me horny, and I can’t even satisfy that without seeing and feeling Nero fucking me.”
Elish, as Nero pointed out, is just like you. He doesn’t know any other way but manipulation and violence. Nero does.
I opened my eyes and turned to the closed door. My mouth went dry as I thought back to what Nero had told me yesterday, everything he had told me.
“Reaver baby… do you have any idea how powerful you would be… if you got rid of those weaknesses and made them one of your most powerful strength?”
Jesus fuck.
I know what I had to do.
I opened the door and walked out of Adler’s room. My breathing had slowed sometime during my time in darkness but now my heart was racing. The mansion surrounding me was becoming dark as evening set in, but I could see a single light on in the living room.
My mind was screaming at me to not do it. What little was left of the prideful, yet weak, creature I had become was clawing at the inside of my brain, shrieking, no, begging me, begging me not to do it.
I have to do it.
I don’t have a choice.
It was like an epiphany of foreboding. That grim gnawing in your gut that you get when you know the solution to the question that had been plaguing you, and the solution was the very last thing you wanted to do. But you knew, yeah you knew, it was the right one. The only one.
Killian.
I don’t want to do this, and please, fucking please, Killi Cat.
Forgive me.
And you will. I know you will. Because who you remember me being, the man who pulled you from that factory, the man who crossed the northern greywastes to get you… will be the next person you see.
I promise.
I stood underneath the archway to the living room, and saw Nero sitting on one of the chairs, fucking playing a handheld poker game.
Last chance to back out.
BACK OUT!
Fuck you. You cowardly piece of shit, you bitch that would like nothing more than to see me suffer. Shut the fuck up.
And that screaming voice inside my head did just that.
“Nero,” I said. A static electricity, starting from my toes and fingers, slowly travelled through my body, before gathering like a transformer on a power pole. It burned brightly inside of me, and took away the pounding heartbeat, the sweat gathering on my brow, and all of my doubts.
And it left nothing behind but a cold resolve.
Nero glanced up at me, but he only looked back down at his game for a split-second before he did a double take. “Yeah…?” he said slowly.
“Get up. We’re having sex.”
Nero stared at me, then looked past me as if expecting the people from Candid Camera to be hiding in the hallway.
“Are you serious?”
“I won’t be in about three seconds if I don’t see you on your feet and walking to the fucking bedroom,” I snapped. “Do I have to spell it out for you? Are you really that–”
“Okay, okay!” Nero got to his feet. Both of his hands raised in his own defense. “I just needed to take a moment to make sure I didn’t suffer a stroke.” He then walked up to where I was standing and I saw a flash of a coy smirk. The look every man had, either internally or externally, when they knew they were about to get some.
I turned around and roughly shoved him, for no other reason than I was pissed off it came to this.
Nero paused, and right when I started walking past him, he put an arm around me and roughly drew me to his side. He kissed my cheek and licked it, before I managed to pull away.
I wasn’t going to take the bait. I stalked into the bedroom and started taking off my clothes. When I saw Nero was as well, I turned around and stared at the curtain-covered window, absolutely seething.
“I’ve never had someone so pissed off after demanding I have sex with him,” Nero said bemused. I heard his drug tin come out, then with purposely slow movements, he handed me a glass pipe with a small rock in the center. “Remember ciovi? It’ll help.”
I shook my head, still staring at the curtains. “I need to be sober for this,” I said. “When you’re afraid of heights, you defeat that fear by climbing up something high, not watching a movie of someone else doing it. I can’t have anything blocking me from doing this, or it won’t work.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “Weakness into strength.”
“I have never fucking respected you more, brosy.” And with that, I felt him slowly kiss my neck.
Automatically, I scrunched up and became rigid. Nero chuckled at this and kissed my neck again. “I’m not fucking Medusa; you don’t need to turn to stone. Go lay on the bed.”
I sighed and ran both of my hands down my face. I still had my boxers on, so I wasn’t feeling nearly as freaked out as I would be in about ten minutes, but as soon as I sat by the head of the bed, my heart started to go insane.
And when Nero turned off the lights, leaving only Adler’s lamp on his study across the room, the anxiety hit me.
I saw Nero approach and stand at the foot of the bed, also still wearing boxers, blue ones. He crossed his arms and chuckle. “You’re so cute. You have no idea how cute you look.” He crawled onto the bed, and as my ears started to catch on fire, he laid down beside me and slid his hand over to the side of my face.
Weakness into strengt
h.
I closed my eyes and let him direct my face to his, without wasting a moment, he opened his lips, and I did mine, and the tongue that was now familiar to me, met my own.
And because it was something that was now familiar, in a sense that extended past that bedroom in Cardinalhall, I started to feel my tightly wound body loosen.
“There we go,” Nero whispered when our lips momentarily broke. “Just keep those eyes closed.” I knew why he was saying that when I felt his hand rest on my hip bone, before sliding down to my stomach, then to my navel. He started slowly stroking it with his hand, those lips and that tongue still distracting me.
I pulled away from him when his roving hand slipped underneath my boxers; the blowtorch on my ears got white hot and it acted like fuel being directly injected into my heart.
“Relax,” Nero whispered. He took my hand which was digging into the sheets, and placed it on his neck. “You’re not chained up, remember that.” Then he slid his hand right where it had been previously, but this time he ran two fingers down my cock.
Fuck. I was hard. I don’t know if I was expecting that. I took in another deep breath and tried to loosen my body and accept his touch. I hadn’t started going into my own head, so, so far, so good.
Nero joined our lips again, and this time when his hand travelled out of my pants he put it on my shoulder and lightly pushed me down onto my back. I let him, but found both hands covering my face.
And I kept them on my face when I felt him slip my boxers off. The colder air hit my cock but a moment later… I felt his tongue lick the tip.
I sucked in a breath and let him separate my legs. At the signal that I hadn’t snapped yet, the tongue I felt got bolder and started licking the rim of my head, then those familiar lips closed over the crown, and that even more familiar tongue started caressing and rubbing it in slow circles.