by Quil Carter
That… fucking felt good. I let a heavy breath fall from my lips as the feeling took me. It had been a long time since I’d felt any sexual pleasure. What small bits I had managed to get with Killian were soon ripped from me like I was getting a bucket of ice water tossed onto my body.
And he was doing it different than when he and Kiki were fucking with me. Nero was taking it slow, testing his tongue along every curve, tracing the slit and the sensitive skin underneath the head, then running his fingers along the shaft and grasping it with just the right amount of pressure.
It had been a long time since I had cum, not counting what had happened after Kiki rescued us since I was too in psychosis to enjoy it. Nero knew this, and every time my breathing started to quicken, and that tightening pleasurable tension began to gather, he’d slow down, before he stopped altogether and moved down to my balls.
Then he grabbed onto my legs with both hands and encouraged me to separate them. My throat went dry at this, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.
“No, no!” I pulled back when I felt his tongue lick my left cheek. “You’re not doing that.”
I looked down and saw Nero smirking at me. “Lay back down.”
“You’re not doing that!”
“Lay back down. It’ll make what’s happening later easier. Trust me.”
I swore and threw my hands over my face again. Nero chuckled, and I felt his tongue tease my hole.
I’d done this to Killian, but never – never – had I ever let him do it to me. It was another on my ‘never going to let you do it’ lists. No, I didn’t have a solid reason why. I fucking loved doing it to him, it was just… not me.
And least it wasn’t me.
“Why the hell does that feel so good?” I gasped. Every lap of his tongue against it almost had as much pleasure as when he was licking my cock. I didn’t understand it, it didn’t make sense. I knew Killian made the most sexiest of noises when I was doing it to him, but that kid made those noises at anything I did to him.
“See? Trust me,” Nero said, and his tongue returned to where it had been. Honestly, I didn’t want him to talk anymore, it felt too good.
I hated it, but wow. I soon found my hand resting on my inner thigh, the other one dug into my navel, and as the pleasure intensified with every lick, every tensing then loosening of his tongue, my fingernails burrowed into my own flesh.
And when it was too much for me, my hand slipped to my cock and I started playing with it.
Then that fuck smacked my hand away. I growled and clenched my teeth, but withdrew my hand without comment. I was relaxed and riding on cloud nine right now. I was happy enjoying the feelings drawing up pressure inside of me, I could be content with that.
But then I heard him suck on his fingers. I knew what was coming and I opened my eyes. “No. Lube. Give me that at least.”
Nero, with his middle finger in his mouth, nodded and rose. He beelined it for Adler’s desk and came back with a bottle of lube and a bottle of what looked like rum. He took a swig of the rum and handed it to me.
I was about to pass on it but one sip wouldn’t fuck with me. I took a long swig of the throat burning liquid, and as it seared my throat… I felt him start to push a finger against my hole.
I distracted myself with the bottle and took a second shot, and right as I swallowed it down, Nero slid the finger inside.
He groaned. “Puppy, you’re fucking tight. You’re gonna kill me.”
I didn’t answer him. I had a bottle between my lips but I was biting down on the rim instead of drinking the alcohol inside. My breathing had quickened in a matter of seconds, the first spring of apprehension starting to take me.
I felt his mouth on the head of my cock, cold now from the alcohol. There was no teasing this time, he went right to work on me, one hand on the shaft to hold it up, the other sliding his middle finger in and out.
I didn’t like the rhythm. It was making me uneasy. It was digging up too many buried feelings. I didn’t like the back and forth, the in and out.
My body started to twist and my face became tight.
“You’re going to snap my finger off. Ease up,” Nero said. I felt his lips remove themselves from my cock and greet my neck instead. “Relax for fuck sakes.”
“Shut up,” I said through clenched teeth. Then, just to prove to me he was an asshole, Nero pushed in a second finger. I gritted my teeth, and without realizing it, I grabbed onto my head and gripped my hair. My body was writhing now, and the shallow pool of anxiety was starting to grow bigger. “You’re not going to fucking get me to relax, just fuck me and get it over with.”
He groaned at this. “Oh? Are you gonna beg me first?”
“I’m not playing this game,” I snapped. “Just fuck me already!”
Nero grabbed the side of my head and drew me in for a kiss, then, with a forceful jerk of my right leg, he raised it up and bent it back.
My heart skipped and I pulled away from him, ice and fire both running rampant throughout my body. My face burned, my chest froze, and both of these sensations combined to make a hurricane currently destroying me from the inside out.
I immediately regretted my fucking mouth. Nero put a hand on my chest when I tried to raise it, and pushed it down like I was a kitten who’d just jumped onto the counter. He slid behind my leg until he was kneeling between them, and I saw a hungry look in his eye that smacked the recollections right back into my head.
And I realized sometime during all of this, he’d lost his boxers. Kneeling in front of me, completely naked, was who I now realized was the first chimera I actually feared. Not any more though, our time in this mansion had erased that fear, or it had… it had anyway.
But it was all coming back, and this wasn’t some PTSD shooting into me and scrambling my hold on reality, this was fucking reality, this was happening.
“Hey.” Nero grabbed my chin. “Don’t put your hands on your head, you’re not bound. I told you, put them on my shoulders were you can see them.”
I don’t think I could do this. I felt like he was telling me to hold my breath before he pushed me into the ocean with weights bound to my ankles, expecting me to somehow survive it. Time would fix me, this wouldn’t, this was just going to fucking make me more–
“Hey!” Nero smacked my cheek. “Weakness into strength. You’re fucking fine. Stop acting like a little bitch.”
My eyes shot up to him, and for a moment the anger replaced every ounce of anxiety. I reached up and fucking smacked him right back. Nero’s face flinched just slightly, but instead of dealing me a punch to the eye like I was expecting, he grabbed my hand and put it on his side.
He poured some lube onto his palm and slid it up and down his cock, just as long and thick as I’d remembered it being. I kept trying to steady my breathing, but I couldn’t; it was grabbing me and dragging me where I didn’t want to go.
Nero leaned over me and took my other hand, he put it on my leg and even though it was the last thing I wanted to do, I pulled my leg back. My chest was rising and falling rapidly, and my body both the surface of the sun and pluto – but I knew I had to do this.
Weakness into strength.
This is just some physical act which you let have power over you. So take the power back.
Become, not just the person you were before, but something better, something stronger. Don’t just drain the infection, Reaver, gild the wound in steel. Take your biggest weakness, and make it into one of your strongest attributes.
I nodded, and with my teeth chewing the bottom of my cheek, I slid a hand behind Nero’s back and drew him in. Our lips locked, and he lowered himself onto me. I could feel his strong, muscular body envelop mine, closer than I would’ve ever felt comfortable before. And as quickly as the sparks of unease came, I cauterized them, and used his lips as a distraction.
“There we go,” Nero murmured when our mouths briefly broke apart. I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see how close he was to me, how his entire bo
dy was inches from my own, and prepared myself for what I knew was about to happen.
I drew in a deep breath when I felt his cock first push against the opening. I held it in my chest and dug my fingertips into his shoulders. I’d felt this mixture of pressure and pain with him many times previously, but this time it would be different. It would be different.
The breath slowly blew out of my mouth, and I forced my body to relax. I felt Nero drizzle more lube onto both me and him, and then the pressure returned.
Then the head broke through and he was in me. I was immediately assaulted by that fiery pressure and the overwhelming sense of girth. I threw my head back and gasped, but when I tried to inhale another breath, I found my chest had become a locked box. This brought more panic to me, and before I could attempt to calm myself down, I realized I was already pushing him off of me, and I was yelling.
I didn’t even realize I had started yelling. In my head I was attempting to breathe but my mind was already ten steps ahead of me, screaming at him to get off of me.
“You’re fine!” Nero said through heavy breathing. He pushed my chest down, and like a small elastic band being stretched too tightly, I felt another overabundance of pressure and on its heels: pain. Lots of pain.
“Get off!” I screamed. My arms were up again, pushing and pushing, desperation now fully soaked into my skin like the sweat I realized I was drenched in. “Enough. Stop!”
“Reaver!” Nero grabbed my chin and wrenched my head up. He locked his eyes with me. “Listen to me… are you listening? Shut up and listen. You’re fine.”
“Fuck off,” I gasped, my face scrunched in pain. I looked around the dimly lit room just to keep reminding myself that I was in the mansion and not in Cardinalhall. It did something to ease the tremors rattling through me, but not enough to keep my mouth from opening in a soundless scream.
With one last push he was fully inside of me, but then almost immediately he pulled himself out. I closed my eyes with relief as the pressure suddenly dissipated, but then he slid it back inside, with ease this time.
This time the burning wasn’t as extreme. I let Nero hold back my legs and put both of my hands around his back. I looked at the ceiling, seeing Nero’s neck, ear, and his black hair in the left horizon of my vision.
“Relax,” Nero groaned. “Or don’t. Fuck, you’re like a tight fist.”
Relax? I remember telling Killian the same when I felt him tensing around my own cock during our first time. But it was hard to do when someone was skewering you with something that was three quarters the width of a coke can.
He slowly pulled it out and eased it back in, his heavy breathing in my ear like it had been before. But he was never this slow with me during my time as his prisoner, he was a relentless machine hammering into me with growls, grunts, physical blows, and the overpowering stink of cigars and cigarettes.
I didn’t realize he’d lowered his head until he took my left pec into his mouth, and it was there, with the bud in his lips, that I felt my body start to slowly unwind.
“That’s your spot, eh? We all have one,” Nero said, before his lips tightened around the nipple and he pulled it. Then his hand removed itself from my leg and he pinched the left pec with his fingers.
I hated how good it felt and I hated how audible I was about it. I couldn’t help it though, Nero knew his stuff and he was determined to find, and exploit, every one of my sensitive spots.
Even ones I hadn’t even realized I had.
Something else was happening too. The pain of him inside of me, it was disappearing. The pressure was still there, but I no longer felt like he was trying to disembowel me.
And, maybe, it was actually starting to feel good.
A groan slipped from my lips, and more followed. Soon, with every push of his hips, I was making small noises.
“There we go,” Nero whispered. He licked my neck and nipped it, and his thrusts started to accelerate. I had been worried that the rhythmic motion would trigger something inside of me, but the quicker his movements, the more I found myself enjoying the sensation.
I could do this. I am doing this.
Nero sped up, and the sounds of our skin smacking together was added to the groans now rolling from both of our tongues. The kissing had stopped and the verbal back and forths had too. We were now deep into it. Me with my hands on his shoulders and side, and Nero with my legs firmly in his grasp, legs that were being pushed further and further back as he tried to get more of himself inside of me.
I swore, the feeling an overwhelming mixture of pressure and pleasure. There was no more pain but the occasional sting, and I was almost ashamed with how much I was enjoying the feeling of having something inside of me. I never knew that being on the receiving end could be just as good as being the top. There was something inside of there that made it feel fucking amazing, and I think I might’ve been missing out.
Then I made the mistake of looking underneath his chest, to where we were joined.
And I saw the blood.
All of a sudden panic ripped through me, without any notification or sign of its coming. It hit me like a cattle prod to the chest, and my reaction was just as swift as its current.
“Get off of me!” I screamed. I tried to pull back with a loud bellow… but to my horror I only felt him wrap a hand around my neck.
“Stay still,” Nero growled. It wasn’t in the tone he’d been using with me before, it was low, hostile, and one that told me I no longer had a say in what was going on.
Terror flooded me.
“Get off!” I yelled. I tried to shift myself away from him but his hips kept relentlessly driving into me, forcing more pressure into my body. He didn’t stop, no matter how much I screamed at him, and when I made a fist and punched him, he grabbed it and held it behind my head.
Nero chuckled and kissed my cheek. I squirmed and screamed so loud my voice broke. I inhaled, only to feel my lungs unable to accommodate the pressure and panic. It was building; I didn’t know what was going to happen but…
What if I was releasing radiation right now? We didn’t have Geigerchips, we wouldn’t know.
“Nero… Nero… I’m going to blow the fucking mansion up if you keep this…. FUCKING STOP!” I shouted, but he kept my hands locked behind my head. I didn’t even realize he was no longer holding my legs; I was too stunned and in a frenzy to do anything about it. “Nero!” I shouted. “I said fucking stop! Something’s happening.” More pressure was gathering. I could feel it being drawn from the room and centering in my chest, each thrust bringing more and more into me.
I was an idiot, a fucking idiot for trusting Nero. This is what I get for being desperate enough to trust the man who raped me. I waved fresh meat in front of a chimera’s face, and I was getting exactly what I deserved.
The pounding continued, faster and faster. I could smell blood now, and when I opened up eyes I didn’t even realize I’d closed again, I saw the roof of Cardinalhall.
“Nero!” I yelled, my voice broken shards of glass. His body was drenched in sweat now, and so was I. All I could hear was the smacking of our skin and my own screaming, and all I could feel was pressure and gathering tension.
Then his laughing, his taunting – fucking – laugh.
All virgins bleed.
“Nero!” I screamed.
No, fight it, fucking fight it. Fucking, FIGHT IT!
But I couldn’t control what was happening inside of me.
“What, puppy?”
What? What!?
I let out a scream of frustration, but it was no longer directed at Nero, it was directed at me. My confusing storm of emotions was filling me with many feelings, but the one that kept rising to the surface was one of unbelievable anger. I was angry that I was trying to quit. I was angry that I’d taken it this far only to back out now. I was angry that I even had to do this.
But I was doing it, and I had to force myself to make it to the end. I was stronger than this. I would conquer this as
I had conquered and perfected so many other faults I had inside of me.
This is only one stop on my never ending road, one bump, and ten thousand years from now I’ll look back at this time and laugh at myself for being so weak.
I might be many things – but I was not weak.
I was the one in control.
I was the fucking one in control!
I let out what could only be described as a battle cry, and then through clenched teeth, I grabbed onto the sanity trying to slip from me, and I didn’t let it go.
“Fuck me harder!” I cried. I found my lips tensing and I realized I was grinning. I don’t know why. I didn’t know if it was because my mind was breaking. All I knew was that I wasn’t going to let this fucking bullshit take me any longer. I controlled my own mind. I controlled my own body and I controlled what I reacted to.
Not Nero.
Not the psychosis inside of me.
Or the wussy bitch I’d become.
“Fuck me!” I yelled again. I sunk my teeth onto Nero’s shoulder, and as I heard him bellow, his thrusts increased.
And the pressure inside of me suddenly reached critical, and with a gasping, loud groan, my hands went between my legs and I started stroking my own cock.
“Fuck!” I cried. I looked down, my eyes wide open and my breathing heavy, and I saw the first spurt of cum fall from my fully hard cock. I didn’t even realize it was hard until I was viciously pumping myself between my legs.
I dropped my head onto the mattress and cried out, suddenly and swiftly feeling the confusing pressure that I’d felt building, translate into orgasmic pleasure. A different type of orgasm, this one was rooted deep inside of me, one that had me bearing down instead of tensing up. It felt… oh fuck, it felt good. I let it roll through me like an earthquake, and when it finally started to fade, I was panting and desperately trying to catch breath in my burning lungs.
Nero was groaning heavily in my ear, and I felt his cock tense and contract as he came. We became one sweaty body in that moment, two men who at one point hated each other, now locked together and sharing the weirdest of bonds.