by Sue MacKay
‘You got a name, Sam?’ Madison asked as she straightened up and dropped the suture needle into a dish. Her hands immediately went to rub her lower back.
Heat clawed up his cheeks. ‘Ah, no.’
‘Rooster.’ Jock laughed.
Her eyebrows rose endearingly, a query blinking out of those large eyes. ‘Do tell.’
‘Cock of the roost,’ Jock happily explained.
Madison laughed, a pure, tinkling sound that went all the way down to his toes, heating bits of him on the way past.
He loved that laugh. It touched the chill inside him, taunted him, spoke of life and love. Swallow. No. Haul on the brakes. This had to stop. Now.
‘What shall we call Madison?’ Jock asked. ‘You remember anything from your school days?’
As those dark blonde eyebrows rose in surprise, Sam shuddered. I need to get out of here. Now. ‘Maddy,’ Sam replied, careful to avoid anything contentious as he headed for the door. The muscles in his back tensed, his skin prickled. He could feel her eyes boring into the back of his skull.
‘That’s not a nickname.’
He had to stop his getaway and deal with this, otherwise Jock would keep at him. ‘I can’t think of anything else,’ he lied. Inferno would get her more attention than she already had. Besides, he was the one feeling like an inferno, she was merely the match.
Jock asked, ‘What about your family? Did they have a pet name for you?’
She was smiling when she said, ‘Spark. As in bright spark.’ Instantly the smile disappeared, replaced by anguish. ‘But not now.’ Her hand went to her stomach, rubbed lightly, left then right. Did she even know she did that? Did she realise the brown shade of her eyes turned muddy when she was disturbed? And how her forehead creased, bringing those shaped brows closer together?
‘Maddy it is,’ he said quietly, hoping to dispel her distress, hating to see Maddy terrified at unguarded moments. Looking around, he knew he wouldn’t find the cause in this room, that it came from somewhere deep inside her, but he looked anyway. Preferring to think Madison was all right, that nothing bothered her so badly she went still and pale in an instant. Knew he was lying to himself, but what was a guy supposed to do? Go hug her? Whisper sweet nothings in her ear until she laughed? He’d get an elbow in the gut for sure.
Would she survive out here where nothing was guaranteed? Not her safety, her sanity or her privacy.
More than anything, he wished for that. He needed to know she’d be okay, would survive the coming months without another wound to her soul.
But only time would take care of her. Time, her colleagues and her own strength. He’d have to wait long, agonising months to be sure she made it safely back home.
And when she did, he couldn’t be there to welcome her.
CHAPTER FIVE
‘THAT QUEUE ISN’T getting any shorter,’ Madison muttered as she wiped her forehead with the back of her hand for the umpteenth time.
‘I wonder why.’ Sam grinned.
‘You think it’s funny?’ The line of soldiers waiting to see a doctor was ridiculous. ‘Don’t they have anything better to do? I mean, they’re very fit. You can’t tell me every one of those men is ailing from something.’ None of the soldiers who’d presented to her had actually been sick or in need of any treatment, so what was going on here?
‘I’d say there’s nothing wrong with most of the men.’ Sam’s grin only widened. ‘But there hasn’t been a new, good-looking female come on the base for months now.’
These guys were lining up in the heat and dust to get a look at her? ‘Get out of here.’
‘No way,’ he answered with a wink, apparently deliberately misinterpreting her. ‘I deserve the break since I’ve been working my butt off dealing with non-existent aches and pains when not one patient...’ he flicked fingers in the air ‘...actually wanted to see me. I don’t have the right curves.’
No, but he had all the muscles any woman could wish for and they appeared to be in excellent working order. Of course, she couldn’t comment on all of them. ‘Right. I’ll fix this.’ She strode through the door. ‘That’s it, guys. Show’s over. Get back to work and start being useful.’ Or whatever they were supposed to do at the end of the day.
A private stepped up. ‘I’ve got a pain in my belly.’
Madison read his name tag. ‘How long have you had this pain, Private Johanson?’
‘It started while we were out on patrol this morning. Thought I’d eaten something off for breakfast and it’d go away after a time, but it hasn’t.’
‘Where exactly in your abdomen is this pain?’
‘All over the place.’ The soldier ran his hand lightly over his belly.
Maddy wondered if she was being stitched up yet again, but something about the guy’s demeanour suggested maybe not. ‘Come in and get up on the bed.’
Relief lessened the stress in his face. ‘Boots off?’
‘No, but pull your shirt up.’ As she gently felt his abdomen he lay dead still, not even breathing. She pressed deeper, feeling for any sign of a distressed appendix.
‘That’s not nice,’ the private groaned. Sweat popped on his brow and upper lip. Impossible to fake that.
Her fingers continued gently probing his abdomen.
He sucked air through clenched teeth.
This man had a genuine complaint. ‘That was worse when I lifted my hand away?’
He nodded.
Another indicator she was on the right track. ‘Where did the pain start?’
With a groan he hovered his hand above his right side near where she’d applied light pressure. ‘About here. Stayed there for hours then spread around.’
She checked his name badge again. ‘Reece, I’m going to take your temperature and then a blood sample.’
‘Thanks, Captain. What’s my problem?’
‘You might have appendicitis.’
‘Great.’ Reece closed his eyes.
Once she had an EDTA blood sample Madison made a smear to stain when it had dried, then ran the blood through a very basic haematology analyser. ‘Slightly elevated WBC,’ she told Sam when he came across to see what she had.
‘Checked the smear for immature neutrophils?’ he asked.
‘Will as soon as the slide’s stained.’ Neutrophils were the white cells that reacted to infections and in this case if the numbers were increased and/or immature the result would back her diagnosis. ‘Twelve percent band forms,’ she told Sam ten minutes later. A textbook result for appendicitis.
‘Our man’s going to Theatre, then.’ He headed for the exit. ‘Back in a moment. Going to get our anaesthetist out of the mess. I’ll assist you.’
Madison shook her head after him. Still checking up on her. It should irk her, but it didn’t. Probably because she was exhausted and would be glad of another pair of eyes on the job. Hard to believe she’d arrived only thirty hours ago. So much had happened she’d believe anyone who told her it’d been a week.
‘Private, I’m going to operate to remove your appendix. The good news is I don’t believe it has perforated.’
‘Glad you’ve got something terrific to tell me, Captain.’
‘Hey, I’m sure it’s scary, Reece, but this is a straightforward operation. You’ll be sitting up drinking tea and eating a sandwich before you know it. Have you heard of keyhole surgery?’
‘Sounds small.’
‘Exactly. You won’t even have a scar to show off.’ Why some men liked to flaunt their wounds was beyond her. Guess a surgical one wasn’t hideous like burns. Most scars didn’t turn people into paranoid nutcases like she’d become. While explaining what she was going to do in basic terms without the ick factor, she undid the laces of Reece’s boots and pulled them off. ‘Might as well get you comfortable. When did y
ou last eat?’
‘At thirteen hundred hours. Didn’t feel much like food so only had a snack bar.’
He hadn’t been in her patrol so must’ve been with Jock. ‘That’s in your favour. Here’s Cassy to help you get ready.’
The private blushed. ‘Hi, Cassy.’
‘Reece.’ Cassy looked anywhere but at their patient.
‘Let’s get this happening.’ Sam strolled into the room. ‘Anders is on his way. Just finishing dinner.’
‘Lucky guy,’ Madison muttered. Lunch seemed days ago.
‘Here.’ Sam passed her a chocolate bar. ‘Get that into you.’
‘Thanks.’ She tore off the wrapper and took a bite. Rolling her eyes, she said, ‘Heaven.’
‘It’s not a good look when the surgeon faints halfway through an op.’ Sam gave her one of those smiles she already treasured. They were warm and encompassing, aimed straight for her heart, whereas his grins were fun and wicked and she liked those, too.
‘You have a point.’ Crazy but she found herself constantly looking out for those smiles. They made her feel as though she wasn’t on her own. Not that she was, being surrounded by military personnel, but there were times when she needed someone beside her that understood where she came from, who she was. Hey, that’s not Sam. He doesn’t have a clue about me. But they had walked the same streets, attended the same school, followed the same career paths.
Another bite of the treat he’d brought her. The chocolate gave her an instant boost. As did a glance at Sam. Or maybe the sudden energy rise was the result of his smile. Whichever, her shoulders lifted and her blood warmed, and the tiredness dogging her took a hike. A temporary fix but that was all she needed to get through the next thirty minutes.
‘I see I’m not rostered on in here tomorrow morning.’
‘Never say that.’ Sam shook his head at her. ‘You’re only tempting fate. There’s no such thing as not being on duty around here.’
‘So I’ve noticed.’ Madison didn’t try to dampen the warmth cruising her body, waking her up.
Watch it. Don’t let him do this. He’ll be gone in less than a week and I don’t want to be left wondering how well we could’ve got along.
‘You going to stand there daydreaming all night?’ the man winding through her veins asked. ‘How about getting a move on so we can hit the canteen sooner than later.’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Watch it,’ he retorted, as he nudged open the door into the scrubs room. ‘We’re not on patrol now.’
‘No, but you’ll be keeping just as close an eye on me throughout the operation.’ The warmth was cooling. She was no longer a registrar. Appendectomies were straightforward surgical procedures. Sure, things could, and occasionally did, go wrong, but she was more than competent.
‘Don’t panic, Madison. I’m not checking your operating abilities. You’re a qualified surgeon with a ton of experience behind you. I’m sure you’ve done numerous appendectomies. I’m simply assisting as I’m on duty and ready for something more exciting than torn nails or pretend sore throats.’
She’d got that wrong, then. ‘You know my medical career history?’ She wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
‘Just supposing, having been there myself,’ he muttered over his shoulder. ‘Med school, specialty training, and then deciding what to do next. Except I’m still surprised you’re not working to becoming established in private practice.’
‘So am I,’ Madison replied without thought. Yikes. Now he’d ask again why she’d changed her mind, and she wasn’t about to talk about the year she’d had away from medicine while she’d got her health back. She needed a diversion and quickly, judging by the questions brewing in his eyes. ‘I don’t remember you being at our school in years nine and ten.’
He named a low decile establishment on the outskirts of the city. ‘I moved across town from there to live with Ma and Pa Creighton in year eleven. It was a bit of a shock starting in with your lot. For one, my grades were appreciated, not poked fun at.’
‘Are the Creightons relatives? Distant ones?’ It wasn’t usual for strangers to take a child into their lives like that.
‘No.’ Water splashed over the side of the basin when Sam shoved the tap on full. Whatever he said was lost in the noise of running water and the harsh scrubbing of his hands.
Now she’d gone and stirred up things apparently best left alone. Placing her hand lightly on his shoulder, she tried to ignore the ripple of muscles under her palm. ‘I’m sorry if I’ve overstepped the mark.’
Under her palm Sam went rigid. The scrubbing stopped and he stared down at the floor, his arms braced each side of the basin. ‘Ma Creighton and my mother were friends when they were kids. When Mum got a cleaning job at the same school Ma Creighton taught at they renewed their friendship.’ Lifting his head, Sam locked his gaze on her. ‘Mum died and the Creighton family didn’t hesitate to take me in. I could’ve kept going across town to my old school but I’d hated it there, was glad of the opportunity to start afresh.’ Hurt dripped off his words.
He’d started in a new school and a new family all at once. Lost his mother as well. That explained his take-me-or-leave-me grins. He wanted to be liked but was afraid to risk himself. ‘Must’ve been hard for you. Did you have any close friends who knew?’
His headshake was abrupt. ‘No. I liked it that way.’
‘I get it.’ She really did. Sharing her anguish was not happening. She didn’t want sympathy, just honest friendship.
‘See you in Theatre,’ Sam muttered as he pushed past her.
‘Sure.’ Madison followed, her mind absorbing this information. He must’ve been so lonely at times.
Something he’d obviously been an expert at covering up.
* * *
‘Glad that’s over,’ Madison commented around a yawn. ‘Reece came through easily enough.’ The top half of her scrubs hit the laundry basket. One hand firmly held her T-shirt in place to stop it riding up and revealing her scarring, something she’d become practised at when around other people. Using communal showers when she’d first joined the army had been awkward, and had seen her getting to the shower block very early or equally late in order to save her pride. A towel had always been on hand to wrap around her body if someone came in. Once a group of younger female officers had deliberately gatecrashed her ablutions but after seeing her fully naked they’d apologised and left her alone from then on. The real surprise from that experience had been that she’d never heard a word about it around camp. It was enough for her to forgive the women.
‘No reason why he shouldn’t have. He’s fit and healthy.’ Sam’s scrubs followed hers. ‘Let’s see what the cook’s got for us.’
‘I’ll give that a miss. I’m not hungry.’ Who knew where her appetite had gone but the thought of food made her nauseous.
‘That chocolate bar wasn’t enough,’ Sam muttered.
No, but spending any more time with you would be too much. ‘Probably not.’ Another yawn. ‘But sleep’s more important right now.’ There was cotton wool in her skull and grit in her eyes, and tomorrow she had to be on her mettle for whatever came her way.
‘You reckon you’ll nod off now? Right after doing an op? On an empty stomach?’ Disbelief radiated out at her from deceptively calm eyes.
Sam knew she wanted to avoid him.
He wouldn’t understand she was doing this so she didn’t get too invested in him. So that when he left her heart would be fine. Hearing that snippet about his mother’s death and the Creightons’ generosity had her wanting to dig deeper into who he was. Which was a slippery slide down into trouble. She’d stay clear of him as much as possible.
That’s how it had to be. With Sam and any man who interested her. Really? Her heart slowed as sadness clogged her blood. Really. She was not exposing hersel
f, her body, to be laughed at or, worse, turned away from with horror. Anyway, the fact she mightn’t be able to have children would be another turn-off for most men, and one she wasn’t strong enough to face.
‘Hello, Maddy, anyone home?’ Sam waved a hand in front of her eyes.
‘No, I’m asleep on my feet,’ she retorted. Slapping her hands on her hips, she took her confusion out on him by growling, ‘Quit hassling me, Sam, before I do something I regret.’
‘This I can’t wait to see.’
She poked his chest with a finger, bounced on her toes. ‘I’m exhausted, but I’m also feeling wired.’ Energiser bunny in disguise.
‘In other words, overtired.’
‘Thank you, Doctor.’ Throughout her body muscles tensed, ready for action of some kind. Any kind.
An annoyingly big smile hit her in slap bang in the stomach, winding her up so fast it wasn’t funny. At the same time her insides resembled melted jelly and all her tension evaporated. How did he do that? She, of all people, knew better than to be taken in. Not just by Sam, but by anybody. Yet... Her thigh stung where her palm landed hard. Sam smiling at her just—just got to her in ways no one had for a long time. Make that in ways she hadn’t allowed for a long time, ways she’d fought hard to remain immune to. And tonight she had no fight left, was exhausted beyond measure. Spinning around, she aimed for the door. ‘See you tomorrow.’
Sam followed her outside as though nothing bothered him, like he wanted her company. ‘Come for a walk around the perimeter.’
That’s what she was about to do. Alone. ‘You go and eat. You must be hungry.’
Get away from me, give me space to douse the warmth you’ve created so that jelly sensation can solidify back into concrete.
‘You’re jumping off the walls from an adrenalin rush brought on by operating.’ His hand on her elbow did nothing to cool her down. Quite the opposite.
‘As I already said, yes, Doctor.’
His hand remained on her elbow. He matched his strides to hers. ‘Throw in exhaustion and you’re more than hyper. A fast walk will help quieten you down. Followed by food, you’ll then sleep the sleep of the dead.’