Fighting Gravity

by Julie Adams

  The door to my room is already wide open. My bed covers rumpled, the sheets stripped from the bed. My computer is on but locked. Several little dots indicating an attempted password.

  My clothes are all over the floor, some hanging halfway on hangers.

  Worst of all, the thing that makes my hands shake and tears come to my eyes out of pure anger and fear, is my lacy pink lingerie ripped to shreds on the floor. The bustier is so badly shredded between the boning that it's nearly in two pieces.

  “This wasn’t a random break in,” I wipe at the tears. “Who would do this randomly?” I ask picking up the scraps.

  “Junkies? Kids wanting fast cash?” Beth offers, but it’s not convincing.

  “What if she’s sent someone here? What if she’s not done?” I sink to the bare mattress. “I never meant to hurt her, I never even knew about her until it was too late.”

  “You’re a victim, Lily, even more than her. You didn’t try to kill her, remember? You both were lied to. But that’s where the similarities end.” She pulls me into a hug. “I’ll fucking kill anyone who gets close to you, Lily, we won’t let anyone hurt you.” She's so ferocious, I believe her.

  “I need to call Nathan and let him know we won’t be having dinner tonight.”

  “Unfortunately, I think that’s best, at least until I get this place straightened up.” She gives me another squeeze. “Those assholes!” She seethes. The woman hates to clean, she does it, but while scowling and listening to rap music.

  I take my phone out of my pocket. My fingers are still trembling from my blood pressure skyrocketing.

  Me: Dinner canceled tonight. Sorry.

  About two minutes pass before he replies. Impressive when you consider how demanding his job must be. Something about that makes me happy. I’m a top priority.

  Nathan: Everything okay?

  My fingers hover over the keyboard. Do I say fine? Or do I tell him everything?

  I can’t hide this from him, not after all the honesty. The man has a way of looking at me and just knowing something is wrong.

  Me: Our apartment was broken into. They made a complete mess of the place.

  Nathan: Are you okay? Have they got anybody in custody?

  Me: I’m fine, I was at your place. Brent and Beth were out as well. No one in custody.

  Nathan: I’ll be there in 10 minutes.

  Me: You don’t need to do that.

  The last thing I want is to pull him from his day when we’re all fine.

  Nathan: I’m already in the car. I need to see you, to make sure you’re okay.

  Is he even aware of just how much I need that right now? To feel him close and solid next to me.

  Nathan: Besides it’ll give me a chance to officially meet your brother and his fiancee.

  There’s no arguing with him. I give my face a final wipe with the back of my hand and pull my hair back into a ponytail and go to the bathroom to splash cool water on my face. It's closest I’m getting to freshening up.

  Twenty Two

  Nathan

  The apartment door opens and Lily is standing there, her eyes red and glassy, her face ashen and drained. I don't know what I expected her to be like, but not this.

  And then it hits me. She didn't think this was just a break-in, she thought this was her ex or his wife. I don't wait for her to invite me in. I wrap my arms around her and hold her tight. I can feel her rigid body relax into me.

  She takes a deep breath and just holds on to me like I'm an anchor.

  “Everyone’s okay?” I ask to be sure.

  “Yes, but I'm afraid my lingerie was destroyed.” She forces a laugh trying to make light of it all. Trying to hide her real feelings, to hide any weakness.

  “Anything else?”

  She waves at the apartment as we walk past her room and into the living room. “They ransacked the place but that's about it. The detective thinks they were looking for cash and got spooked before they could really look around.”

  “Did they destroy anything of Beth's?”

  “No,” her face gives away her anxiety. I force my own features to remain impassive.

  It doesn't add up. They steal nothing, destroy the place, and shred only her lingerie.

  I don't like it.

  “Hey,” a voice calls from the kitchen. I realize Brent and Beth are standing on the other side of the island sorting papers and sweeping up broken glass. I had been so blinded by Lily and the mess in the living room, that I hadn't even seen them.

  “Hello,” I greet Brent. “Wish I could be dropping in under better circumstances to formally introduce myself. I'm not sure what the American protocol is for new boyfriends.” I see Lily's mouth drop a little. She wasn't expecting me to call myself that. But what else am I? We're exclusive and say the L word. I'm her damn boyfriend if she realizes it or not.

  “Bon, you did great, protocol for this situation is the same across oceans,” Beth says and gives me an airy kiss on the cheek. “We could use another set of hands, that suit isn’t too important is it?”

  She gives me a look that says it better not be. And I feel she's giving me a cheat sheet to win Brent over.

  I pull the jacket off, “Not at all.” I pull at the knot in my tie.

  “No, you don't have to,” Lily says putting her hand on my arm to stop me as I'm rolling up my sleeves.

  I glance up, Brent and Beth are back to cleaning.

  “I want to. I'm going to be here with you, might as well make myself useful.” I glance up again and Brent looks away quickly, he looks slightly less annoyed than before and Beth is smiling a happy little smile that tells me she was listening all along.

  “But your suit,”

  I practically snort. “It's not going to get that dirty.”

  Lily runs her hand over the light blue cotton, taking note of the white collar and French sleeves. “It looks expensive.”

  I lean in and whisper, “I can buy a dozen more with the money I make in interest from one of my savings. Today alone.”

  She blinks, surprised. She has no idea just how much I'm worth.

  She shakes her head. “Crazy.”

  She's not the least bit impressed, more like unable to wrap her head around how anyone could actually have that kind of money.

  She takes a step from me and begins straightening the sofa. “Can you get those books on the floor, Daddy Warbucks?”

  I chuckle and do as she asks. I pick one up, the cover subtle yet obvious that it has lots of racy sex inside. I raise a brow at her, “Am I not giving you all you need?”

  She straightens haughtily “Men in books are better, and don't you ever forget it.”

  “I'll try not to. Can I borrow this?”

  She grins. “Page 82 is my favorite.”

  Glancing around and since no one's paying attention I flip to page 82. Whipped cream. Throbbing rod. Tongue. Sucking. My eyes fly over the good stuff. Suddenly I'm very much a fan of page 82, as well.

  Lily gives me a wicked grin. She's got me and she knows it. It's an odd feeling to be had, after so long of wanting nothing less than to be in a relationship, or hell, be in love in general. It's nearly enough to send me into a panic.

  Then she looks at me. Her chocolate brown eyes lighting up, a smile pulling up her lips in that way that's just for me. And the world stops careening. And it's just her and the way she makes me feel. Like my own person, not some remnant of my past. Like I have more than just now, like I have a future.

  I don't think my mother realized how literal I would take her advice to ce la vie. But it was my own creed, one I followed since I was eight years old. It was how I got through my days before Lily. Before she sparked the flame inside me and consumed me.

  After we’ve finished cleaning the communal part of the house, Lily’s brother and his fiancée retreat to their bedroom to clean. I don’t miss the comical way Beth wiggles her eyebrows at Lily when she thinks I’m not looking.
I stifle my chuckle.

  When I see Lily’s room, it hits me hard. It’s more torn apart than the rest of the place. I wonder what they thought they might find here.

  She was once again this close to danger. What if she had been here?

  Lily’s back is to me as she picks things up from the floor. “Move in with me,” I say before I even have time to think it through.

  Her mouth drops and her brows raise. I’ve shocked her. “Just until they catch whoever did this… Or as long as you want… Bring all your stuff. Move in with me, just for now, or forever.”

  I can’t believe what I’m saying myself. But it feels right. Like it always has, I don’t have to second guess my feelings for her. And it feels damn good to be so sure of her. Of us.

  “That’s a really big step. We haven’t been dating that long…” she looks from me to the room and back.

  “I’ve known you long enough to know how I feel about you. I love you, I want to be with you every chance I get and that'll be easier if we live together. And to be honest, the thought of this happening again makes me want to do all kinds of crazy things to protect you,”

  She gives me a small smile and I relax a little. “Like chain me up to your bed?” She asks picking up something else.

  “I was thinking bodyguards, but I like your idea mo-” I stop what I’m saying when I see what she’s holding. Tattered pink lace.

  “Sorry,” she says when she sees my face.

  I take the garments from her. “Non-” I slip into French then correct myself to speak in her language. “No. You have nothing to apologize for, you didn’t do this.”

  She could have been here.

  As it was they violated so much of her space, tainted her things. My fingers clench into fists on my anger.

  “I’ll buy you more. I’ll take you and you can pick out whatever you want, buy the whole damn store.” I look around the room. “I’ll buy you everything new for the apartment, you won’t have to be reminded of this,” I say tossing the lace into a bag next to the bed.

  “They’re only objects, Nathan. A good wipe down with a bleach wipe and good as new.” She says with a shrug.

  “Fine. But new lingerie definitely. Will you please stay with me? You decide for how long, we can take it day by day, I’ll feel better knowing you’re there where there’s a bit more security.”

  She looks at me. “I don’t think the doorman is exactly a trained assassin.” She teases.

  “Don’t underestimate him, he just might be.” I don’t tell her that he has a button that can summon the police with just a press.

  She sighs wiping her laptop. “I’ll think about it, okay?”

  “Frankie would be very happy,”

  “No fair. You can’t bring cute puppy faces into this.”

  “He needs a good mére and he quite likes you.”

  “Oh, I think he has a pretty cushy life without me. He’s got the best view in Paris, his own canine companion, his own featherbed.”

  “I can get you a featherbed.”

  She laughs. “It’s insane and Brent will kill me,” I can tell the idea is wearing on her. “And you’re such a bachelor, how will you take it when my makeup is strewn all over the bathroom counter? I’m an American woman, I have an arsenal, not just a few holy grail items.”

  “We have drawers. And if you need more room I’ll take the guest bath.”

  “You’d move out of your own bathroom for me?” She smiles sweetly and it affects every cell within me.

  “I’d move heaven and earth for you.”

  She sucks in a breath. “That’s smooth. You’re good. I’m so fucked.”

  That one little word coming from her lips hits my brain and travels straight down to my dick.

  “If you want to be,” I quip.

  She bites her lip and her eyes flash.

  “We’re going to grab dinner, be back in around an hour.” Beth’s voice calls from the hall and I have no doubt it’s to let us know how long we’ll have alone.

  As soon as we hear the door close Lily pounces on me, knocking me onto the disheveled bed. We don't have sex, that's not what she needs right now. I just hold her close and kiss her. We watch a movie, anything to get her mind off of right now. We lay like that until we're both asleep.

  Twenty Three

  Lily

  We both sleep through Brent and Beth coming home. That’s something I appreciate about Nathan, the way he’ll drop everything to be here for me. He’s the CEO of what I’m discovering is one of the biggest Indie labels in Europe, and yet he puts it all on hold to come and help me and my brother clean our apartment. And to comfort me, of course.

  I told him he should get back to the office several times, and he told me he’d delegated his tasks for the day. Anything really important he can do over the phone or from his laptop.

  It seems pretty great at the top.

  He rolls over and wraps his arms tightly around me. I had never enjoyed being held like this before, but maybe that’s because it had never been sincere. The comfort they pretended to offer more like a cage. Not with Nathan, with him it’s like being taken care of. Not that I had ever wanted that from a man in my life, but I'm starting to see there’s nothing wrong with a soft place to land every now and again.

  It’s amazing how many thoughts you can have while half awake in the middle of the night. I prop my head up on my pillow and force myself to count storybook sheep until I fall back to sleep.

  When I wake again, Nathan’s getting dressed in yesterday’s suit. I can hear Brent talking to someone on the phone. He sounds concerned and pissed.

  “How did you not catch this?” He demands and my heart is instantly in my throat. “You can search whatever you want… You already have all the footage from the theater… Only one camera… because, who the hell wants to steal moldy drywall. No. No. Absolutely not.” He says.

  I pull on sweats and lead Nathan out into the living room. Beth waves us into the kitchen, she’s taken breakfast off the burner. Clearly this call is important. I already have an inkling as to who it is.

  “He’s on the phone with the police. They’ve officially put Inspector Bisset on the case.” She gestures at the phone. “After the break-in, he went over the incident at the theater. And then your past in America,” she gives my arm a reassuring squeeze. “He looked over the autopsy photos of the construction worker, there was something the coroner missed.” Brent comes closer and I can hear the detective’s voice through Brent’s phone. “Under the rope mark, there were barely noticeable half fingerprints.”

  I take a step back. “He was murdered?” I say shocked. Nathan puts his arm around me.

  “Lily, it wasn’t her. She’s still locked up.”

  “What if she’s gotten someone else to do it? She was barely hanging on by a thread when I last saw her.”

  “How would they have found you? You have no public social media, you told no one but your mother where you were going. We are the only four people in the world who know where you are. I highly doubt anyone would even imagine you’re here.”

  “Please keep me informed,” Brent says as he ends his call.

  He opens his mouth to speak. “I’ve already told them,” Beth says nervously starting breakfast again, trying to keep busy.

  “Lily, it’s just a morbid coincidence, I’m sure. A run of bad luck for us.”

  I just stare at him, anxiety slowly clawing its way through my mind to the rest of my body.

  “What can I do?” Nathan asks. “Do you need lawyers? P.R.?” Sometimes I forget he’s been nothing but a businessman for most of his life.

  “No,” Brent shakes his head. “No, thank you. But I think Lily might feel better somewhere else.”

  Nathan stays quiet, letting me field this. His offer from last night replaying in my mind.

  “Temporarily?” I ask.

  “Of course!” Brent says as if I just asked the dumbest question
ever. “Can’t have you just shacking up with Frenchmen.” He gives me a small grin that doesn’t reach his eyes.

  “I have a doorman, I can hire more security if you think it’s needed,” Nathan says to Brent. I strain to hear their conversation as I make myself coffee.

  “I don’t know exactly what happened to that man. But I don’t think it has anything to do with Lily. My sis has had a lot on her plate lately, reasons to be stressed, you know?”

  “I do. She told me everything,”

  “She did?” Brent seems surprised. “Then you know I mean it when I say keep her safe, no crazy shit happening to her because of you?”

  “Yes. I get it. I would do anything to keep her safe.” Nathan looks at him steady and serious.

  “Good,” Brent says and sinks into a chair at the table. Exhausted. “What a way start to the day,” He grumbles throwing his coffee back like a shot.

  I hand a coffee cup to Nathan. “I know you both think I’m crazy but I don’t have a good feeling about this,” I say quietly, so only Nathan and an eavesdropping Beth can hear. Brent’s got enough on his mind.

  “Not crazy, mon amour. Overly cautious with good reason.” He says pulling me into his side. “And it’s rubbing off on me. At this rate, I’ll be building you a tower in the middle of the French Province that can only be accessed by rope ladder or helicopter. You don’t know anyone who has one of those do you?”

  “Helicopter or tower?” I ask over the rim of my cup.

  “Either,”

  “Enough with the kinky sex games you two, get some breakfast.” Beth interrupts causing Brent to make loud gagging noises.

  “No appetite now.” He says.

  What a child.

  “It’s probably a genetic thing,” Beth winks and cuts him a piece of quiche while he puts sausages on his plate.

  “Now I’ve lost my appetite.” I groan.

  “Well, I’m still starving and this looks amazing, thank you, Beth,” Nathan says taking the chair furthest from Brent, just in case.

  “Finally, someone who appreciates my conversation and cooking.” Beth beams. “Keep him, won’t you?” She asks me with a hand to her heart.