Scars of the Heart

by Joni Keever

Carly walked slowly along the path to the pool. She carried empty water bladders in her hands and a heaviness in her heart. As she reached the high point along the narrow trail, she stopped, letting herself drift toward the place on the horizon where the sun kissed the earth. In the draw of a deep breath, the brilliant flaming arc thinned and disappeared, leaving a wake of fading orange. Carly sighed, knowing that as the color drained from the sky, warmth would drain from the earth. She could sympathize. Kade’s gentle embrace had filled her with a warmth she had never known before, and then, as quickly, this distance between them had let it seep away.

  As she turned to carry out her intended task, movement caught her attention. A broad bronze back and long, black hair were quickly concealed by the stand of trees along the creek bank. Carly couldn’t be sure she’d seen anyone at all. Perhaps the deepening shadows played tricks on her. Yet her heart recognized what her eyes would not. Her rapid pulse gave flight to her feet, and she hurried toward the stream.

  She wove her way through the trees and bushes. Her eyes scanned the shadows for Kade. As she neared the clearing, she saw him. Stopping, she allowed herself a moment. Uninhibited by the presence of others, unembarrassed by his knowing stare, Carly let her gaze travel the full length of him.

  He was more beautiful than any painting or sculpture she had ever seen. He stood tall and proud, letting the fading light wash weakly over him. The evening breeze swept his hair away from his face, allowing Carly a perfect view of his chiseled features. He was a symphony—a perfect blending of silk and sinew, of contour and plain, of power and promise.

  As she started toward him, a rustle of leaves made her hesitate. The bushes near him parted. Willowy legs stepped through the foliage. Carly strained her eyes to identify the intruder. Tall, slender, and self-assured, she moved to stand directly in front of Kade. He turned to face her, blocking Carly’s view of the woman completely.

  Their quiet voices carried on the night air. Carly backed deeper into the foliage, though the duo appeared to be heavily involved with each other and unaware of her presence. The female voice escalated, but Carly couldn’t understand the Pawnee words. A moment later, the woman threw herself at Kade, wrapping her long arms tightly around his neck.

  Carly gasped. She ducked behind a bush, fearing she’d drawn their attention. Why hadn’t she known? Of course Kade would have a woman here among these people. That’s who had nursed him back to health. Who had shared her tepee with him all the while Carly thought him dead. Who he sought in the stillness of the night.

  When she looked again, Kade held the woman by the shoulders, at a slight distance so he could peer into her eyes. He spoke softly to her, and although Carly couldn’t see the woman’s face, she watched the Pawnee shake her head in response to what Kade said.

  Glancing around, Carly sought an escape route. Why had she been foolish enough to think Kade might care for her? Why did she even want him to? A mournful wail drew her attention back to the clearing.

  The woman now stood with her back to Carly. Her slender arms stretched before her, toward the swaying foliage disturbed by Kade’s departure. Her cry deepened to a groan of agony, yet the bushes stilled. Kade was gone.

  A lovers’ rendezvous. Carly had almost interrupted the pair’s farewell. She and Kade would be leaving in the morning, and his lady grieved his parting.

  Something crept up Carly’s throat, making breathing difficult. Why hadn’t Little Bird told her? Then again, why would she think to? Kade’s private life was none of Carly’s concern. His life was none of Carly’s concern. For reasons that were his own, he had felt it his duty to rescue her from Tiny. To appease a hysterical stranger, he’d agreed to deliver her to Marshall. After saving her life in the Destiny livery, he’d been shot. Now, instead of going home with his family and friends—with his lover—Kade was proving true to his word and taking Carly to find her aunt. His actions spoke only to the character of the man, not at all of emotions she’d hoped he had for her. He owed her no explanations. She owed him everything.

  The sobbing grew louder. Bushes rustled and snapped. The woman fled. Carly peered through the leaves and realized the Pawnee ran toward her. In the fading light, Carly could see the bare brown arms hastily moving branches aside. She ducked deeper into her hiding place, holding her breath and fearing detection.

  Her eyes widened as the woman drew near. Carly bit her lip to keep from crying out. No! It can’t be!

  She hugged her knees to her chest and sat there in the growing darkness and creeping cold long after Storm blew by.

  #

  “Carly? Did you hear me?” Kade twisted to look behind him at his companion. She hadn’t uttered ten words since they’d set out on their southward trek early that morning.

  “What? What did you say?”

  Green eyes blinked away the fog. He would’ve thought her asleep if she hadn’t repeatedly toyed with the strip of rawhide dangling from the saddle near his thigh. “I asked if you were all right. You’ve been very quiet this morning. Are your injuries bothering you? Do we need to stop and rest?”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  Kade knew Little Bird had given Carly something for the pain before they left. She also mentioned having put more turnip root powder in Carly’s bag. Yet he could think of no other reason for her solemn musing.

  He thought back to the tribal feast they had enjoyed last night—festivities meant to honor the gods for the successful hunting season, beseech still other gods to make the harvest just as plentiful, and send the travelers safely on their way. Carly had been quiet and withdrawn all evening. He had assumed she was tired or in pain. Yet when he inquired of Little Bird this morning, she’d assured him Carly’s injuries were healing nicely and her sleep had been restful.

  The two women had grown very close in the time Kade and Carly had spent in the village. Perhaps that was what troubled her. Perhaps she found leaving Little Bird a difficult thing to do. After all, she’d been through so much in recent months, and there had been no one to talk with, to laugh with since the death of her mother. Perhaps Carly simply missed her new friend.

  Kade left her to her private thoughts the rest of the day. When he attempted to draw her into conversation, her answers were brief and distant.

  Though the evening was clear, he searched for a secluded place to camp for the night. While among the Pawnee people, the couple had enjoyed some measure of security. Now that they once again traveled on the open plains, the risks were great. Kade and Carly had many enemies between them, and the last thing he wanted tonight was trouble.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Attempting to ignore the man who moved much too near her, Carly busied herself arranging her sleeping fur for the fourth time. Riding behind him on the stallion all day had been torturous. She’d tried to avoid contact, but the powerful muscles in his back moved against her in a demanding rhythm. His masculine scent settled about her in a captivating embrace. His voice, the few times he spoke, reached the very core of her, like a fist ensnaring her soul.

  Yet Kade had been completely unaware of his effect on her. In fact, he’d seemed almost completely unaware of her altogether, lost in his own thoughts. Thoughts that most assuredly revolved around willowy legs and dark, steamy eyes. And now he expected Carly to sleep only inches away from him in this narrow dry wash he’d chosen as their bed.

  She stood abruptly and moved toward their gear. A quick shake of the canteen doused her impulse to pour the cool liquid over her head. Water ran scarce through this dry land so late in the summer. She longed for a tall glass of lemonade, a proper bed with a fat mattress, and cool, crisp, clean sheets. She mumbled her disgruntlement.

  “Did you say something?” Kade had been packing away their rations, but he stopped to glance in her direction.

  “I said I don’t know how you tolerate life in this godforsaken land, full of grit and grime, devoid of even a trace of simple pleasure or civility.” She poured a small amount of water into her palm, then splashed it on
her face. “What I’d give right now for a decent bath and a hairbrush.”

  A long moment passed before Kade asked, “Carly, are you all right? Is your shoulder giving you grief?” He started toward her, but she cut him off.

  “My shoulder is fine. And I’ll be fine once I’m back where I belong, back in Virginia with a solid roof over my head, delicious meals filling the house with rich aromas, and clever, educated people to socialize with.” She ran her damp hand behind her neck, begging the thick night air to stir up a cooling breeze.

  Kade stared hard, making the evening hotter, the gully more narrow. Finally he turned and continued packing with a vengeance. She pretended not to notice. So what if she’d made him angry? So what if she’d hurt his sense of pride? She meant every word. She wanted to go home, home to Virginia, the sooner, the better.

  She poured a small amount of the precious water in a tin cup and dug in her leather bag for the medicine pouch that Little Bird had stowed there. After dumping the white powder in the water, Carly swirled the mixture and drank it in one gulp. Perhaps the turnip root would numb more than just her aching shoulder.

  #

  Kade rolled to his side and cursed the star-filled sky. The moon shone brightly, keeping him awake. If he turned to the other side, he’d have to face Carly and be constantly reminded of how very near to him she lay. As if he could forget anyway. She tossed about unceasingly, no doubt to emphasize her earlier remarks regarding her discomfort.

  “Spoiled, little ungrateful . . .” He gritted his teeth. He’d send a telegraph to Marshall at the first town they encountered. He would ask Carly’s aunt to wire ahead to the next station. Then he’d put the ragamuffin on the first stage headed that direction. Let the old aunt figure out how to get her back to Virginia. He’d been saddled with this brand of trouble long enough.

  Her moan rolled on the still night air, and Kade covered his ears. Again she moaned, louder and longer.

  “Stop it, Carly. You’ve made your point.”

  More tossing and turning answered his command.

  “You’re acting like a rotten child.” His last drop of patience evaporated. He rolled to face his companion. “And if you’re going to act like a child, then you deserve a fitting punish—”

  “Kade . . .”

  Something in her voice stopped him. Frustration? Anguish? Desperation? He focused his gaze in the thin light. A fine layer of perspiration glistened on her pale skin as she tossed her head back and forth. Her breathing came in short, ragged breaths. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides.

  “Carly?” He felt her brow and smoothed her hair. “What’s the matter? Are you in pain?”

  Her eyelids fluttered open. She struggled to focus on him. “Kade?”

  “Is it your shoulder? Let me get your medicine.” He started toward their gear.

  “No, it’s not that. I drank the turnip root.”

  A moan finished her sentence. He looked about helplessly. His hands trembled as he moved her clothing aside to inspect the wound. It appeared to be healing nicely and was no hotter to the touch than the rest of her.

  “Then what is it, Carly? What ails you?”

  She rolled her head from side to side and gripped his forearm. “It’s . . . I’m burning, Kade. I’m burning inside.” Her eyelids closed, and she moaned again.

  He hesitated only a second, then carefully placed his ear against her stomach. There were no telltale rumblings. He left Carly to search her leather bag. There, on top of her meager belongings, lay a medicine pouch. Kade held it open. Empty. She must’ve drunk the contents as she claimed. But what . . .

  Her mournful murmuring drew him back to her.

  “Kade?”

  “I’m here, Carly.”

  She clawed at his chest, clutching a handful of material. The other hand pressed hard against her abdomen. “Help me, Kade. Make it stop.”

  He dropped the medicine pouch, then hesitantly reached beneath her dress to rest his palm against her stomach. He needed to check for fever or bloating. As his hand touched Carly’s flesh, she arched her back and moaned.

  He recoiled as if he’d been burned. He sat back on his heels and stared at the writhing woman before him.

  It can’t be . . . but why? How? The medicine pouch drew his attention. He retrieved it from the dirt and smelled inside. Nothing but faint leather. He wet his finger, dipped it within, then tasted. Bitter.

  “Garantoquen. Why would Litt—”

  Kade held the bag up in the light of the moon. His eyes widened, then narrowed to mere slits. The beadwork on the pouch was not the precise and intricate work he knew as that of Little Bird. The design, as personal as a man’s signature, identified the creator.

  “Carly, where did you get this medicine pouch?” He lifted her head slightly and turned her face toward him. “Carly, concentrate. Where did you get this?” He held the leather bag up in the moonlight.

  “Little Bird, Little Bird put medicine in my traveling bag . . . for my shoulder, for the pain.” She pulled in vain at his shirt, his arm.

  “No, Carly. This is not Little Bird’s medicine pouch. That was not turnip root you drank earlier. Think, Carly. How would you have gotten this pouch? Did you take the wrong one by mistake?”

  She shook her head. He couldn’t be sure if she was answering him or if she thrashed about in frustration. He didn’t want to believe what he knew must be true.

  He swallowed hard. “Carly, is there anyone among my people who would want to hurt you? Did you have any confrontations with one of the other women?”

  Her mouth worked wordlessly for a moment. “She said I would be sacrificed . . . that I was bad luck.”

  “Sacrificed? Who said this? Who, Carly?” She groaned, and Kade feared she would not answer.

  “Little Bird said no . . . sacrifice.”

  “Little Bird? Why would she say such things to you?” Kade ran a hand through his long hair. Carly seemed nearly out of her mind with the effects of the powerful medicine.

  “No, not Little Bird. It was . . .” She pulled at her dress, now soaked with sweat. She groaned and rolled toward Kade, coiling into a ball.

  “Who, Carly? Tell me who did this to you.” He lifted her into his arms and held her tight.

  “Storm,” she gasped. “It was Storm.”

  Her words mixed with a moan, but Kade understood all too well the loose translation identifying his tribe-mate. He closed his eyes, knowing the torture Carly endured was indirectly his fault. The Pawnee woman was known equally well for her abundant beauty and her vengeful jealousy.

  He wiped Carly’s brow and brushed damp hair from her face. “Listen to me. Can you hear me?” He tilted her head so that she could better see him. Her eyes fluttered open. With effort, she focused. “The powder you took was not turnip root. It was from the red berry plant. When the root is dried and ground, it is very powerful. It is seldom used and only then by our medicine man.”

  Her breath came hard and fast. She seemed to try and grasp his words.

  “The medicine is used for maidens on their wedding night, Carly. It takes only a little, but it calms their fears. It makes them want their new husbands. Do you understand what I’m telling you? It makes them desire the touch of a man.”

  After a moment, her eyes widened. Kade knew she understood him. The confusion and panic that tripped through their pale-green depths tore at his heart. He should’ve anticipated something like this. He should’ve protected Carly. He’d convinced her to trust his people, leaving her vulnerable and helpless against the likes of Storm.

  “I’m frightened, Kade. I don’t know . . .”

  Even as she confessed her fear, her body moved closer to him, seeking the relief it needed. Her skin burned with an intense heat. Remembering Carly’s earlier words, he longed for a bath to immerse her in.

  “Help me, Kade. You have to help me.” Her leg snaked around his as she clung to his shoulders, trying to draw him even closer.

  Now it was Kade
’s turn to groan. She pressed herself against him, groping at his back, his neck, his hair. “Carly, you have no idea what you ask of me.”

  “I do know. I do.” She held his head between her palms and gazed directly at him.

  The clouds drifted from her eyes. She stared at him with clear green intensity.

  “I understand, Kade. I trust you.”

  He silenced the next moan that escaped her lips with a kiss. Within moments, he became lost in a hunger as consuming as her own. A hunger that had gnawed at him since the moment he saw her bathing in the pool and discovered she was a woman, a beautiful woman. No, the hunger had begun even earlier than that, when his body knew what his mind could not. When she’d startled him in the woods, and he’d nearly cut her throat. He’d stared into her big green eyes, and Carly had captured his soul. Even earlier, when she’d tried to escape her cruel tormentor, Carly had captured Kade’s heart.

  As his body struggled with his overwhelming desire, Kade’s mind fought to maintain control. He would not use her as the others had. He would not hurt her. For whatever reason, the gods had delivered this little ragamuffin into his hands for safekeeping. He’d already made the mistake of letting Storm get too near. He wouldn’t act on his own desires, but he would help relieve Carly’s pain, lessen her maddening need.

  He had no idea how much of the potent concoction she had taken. He had heard stories of the medicine’s power. It could steal a person’s senses, not just for a night but forever. Men and women alike had been robbed of intelligent thought, left to babble like babies for the rest of their days. Some even chose death’s embrace over the claws of insatiable desire.

  Kade tried to disentangle himself from Carly’s arms, but she cried out in protest. Again, his kiss quieted her while he peeled the thin, damp material of her dress from her burning flesh. She molded her body to his, aching for his touch. The fever within climbed higher and higher. Not using the time and patience he’d dreamed of, Kade allowed his hands to roam over her.