by Tanya Hanson
Ah well, she wouldn’t be around to see him.
Trying to calm her heart, she heard a rustle of turning heads. Mrs. Martin was leading the troop of bridesmaids from the portable office building, and on cue, the string quartet changed tunes. The ceremony uniting Christy and Kenn was about to start.
She tingled as she always did at weddings, had always done since she was a little girl, and always would. Even if the miracle never befell her, today was a day to rejoice and be glad for Christy and Kenn. Just as the bridesmaids finished their processional, a late-coming woman in a fancy blue hat joined the standing-room only crowd next to Mallie’s chair. The newcomer had blue eyes Mallie immediately recognized. The eyes misted, and Mallie understood.
Because Ella marched up the aisle, tossing yellow rose petals, no doubt the cutest flower girl ever. There couldn’t possibly be a dry eye in the church. Thankfully Mallie was seated, for her knees weakened as she saw Hoop all but melt at sight of his little girl.
Her eyes followed Christy’s march up the aisle in a simple but elegant white velvet gown carrying a bouquet of yellow roses, accompanied by her mother. Mallie’s throat tightened with traditional wedding tears.
“In the name of the Father, His beloved Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, we gather together this day to rejoice as Christy and Kenn begin their life in the Lord as husband and wife…”
Pastor Hale had a wondrous voice, calm and casual, welcoming and real, and Mallie realized she could listen forever. His smile could soften a stone. After a gathering prayer, he segued into a little homily.
“…Christy. Kenn. No matter what transpires in the years ahead whether it’s good or bad, fast, slow, special, indifferent, in-laws or…” He paused with a mischievous grin. “Or ‘outlaws,’ your heavenly Father will walk with you the rest of your days. He will help you when you ask, or before you ask. Nothing is too hard for Him. And when blessings abound, thank and praise Him. He will enable you to live life more fully than you ever have before.”
The words touched her like the Bible had that morning. Pastor Hale wasn’t just addressing the bridal pair; he was imparting God’s word to her, too. God was walking beside her, and nothing was too hard for Him, and that included glioma. And glioma or not, God would help her live her life more fully than she could ever plan on her own—trying to cram a life into the shortened one she had been given.
She glanced down at her notecard one last time and knew without looking up that Hooper’s eyes gazed on her. As she raised her head and saw his auburn eyes across the crowd, her bones turned to jelly. That look itself was a blessing.
It was time. Pastor Hale quickly introduced her, and she made her way to stand at the altar where the bridal couple knelt.
She had some kind of new confidence in the Lord, for surely He had helped with her quick memorization as so many other thoughts rattled through her head.
“Christy and Kenn have selected the following Scripture reading,” she said, loud and firm. “The Gospel of St. John, chapter fifteen, verses nine to twelve. ‘As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you. Continue ye in My love. If ye keep My commandments, ye shall abide in My love, even as I have kept My Father’s commandments, and abide in His love. These things have I spoken unto you, that My joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is My commandment. That ye love one another, as I have loved you.’”
As she recited, she acknowledged the congregation with quick glances, occasionally making eye contact and nodding for emphasis. Her own ears heard her strong, clear voice. At the last phrase, it seemed perfectly natural that she ended it looking at Hooper.
He smiled at her, but she knew it was a smile different from the ones he gave everybody else. As she made her way back to her seat, she knew it without a doubt, now. It was no accident that had brought her to Hearts Crossing. God had put her at Hearts Crossing at the right time, for a purpose.
To find Him for real, once and for all.
At the final vows and the bridal kiss, her knees trembled again, and she found tears of joy pouring down her face as the happy couple recessed to a Handel overture. Next to her, Jennie Blake, and the woman in blue who stood nearby blew her nose into a tissue.
As Bragg and Pike dismissed the worshipers row by row, Jennie Blake dabbed her eyes. “Isn’t Hoop’s little girl the sweetest thing? Let’s catch up at the reception. I’d like to meet all of Christy’s friends.”
The woman in blue stepped into their aisle and held out a hand. “I’m Lynn Martin,” she said. “Same here. It’s so good to be back at Hearts Crossing. And that precious angel?”—she pointed straight at Ella—”She’s my baby girl.”
8
In slow motion, Mallie wandered the big dining room, taking pictures of Kelley’s magnificent wedding cake. Brian had started a blog during her diagnosis and treatments so family and friends could keep abreast of her progress. Now she enjoyed posting pictures of happy, normal times. Instead of the traditional pint-sized bride and groom, the chocolate-frosted tower had two tiny covered wagons on top, and she zoomed in just to keep busy. For the dozenth time, she started counting slowly to a hundred to keep at bay the shock of Lynn Martin’s presence.
Mallie hadn’t seen Hoop yet, and for that she was glad. Family pictures and all that, she supposed. Like a big chicken, she’d hightailed it back to the ranch as soon as she had the chance. She hadn’t lingered because she hadn’t known what to say to him anyway.
And she sure had nothing to say to Lynn Martin.
I’m Lynn Martin, and that angel’s my baby girl.
Had Hooper duped her? Maybe hoping for a quick, meaningless wedding fling? Well, that’s all she’d wanted. At first. Now she realized she was falling fast. And all this time she’d imagined Lynn as some sort of pariah. Yet here she was, family enough to warrant a wedding invitation.
What’s going on, Jesus? I need some help here.
Goodness, had she just prayed? A fleeting thought of Ella licking the beaters flitted through her mind. She sighed as the painful reality slammed her. None of this mattered anyway. She was leaving, and she’d already promised to make it a joyful day. As it was, happy people wandered in and out of the room, and their ooh’s and aah’s seeing the cake lifted her spirits.
“I guess you’re my plus-one after all,” Brian grumbled. “Katie’s caught a bad cold and gone upstairs. Unless she’s ditching me.”
“Oh, Brian.” She’d had enough of his sullenness. “You’re not in high school anymore. Be a man. You gave Danielle vague promises, and she finally had enough.”
“Boy. What’s gotten into you?” Her brother sniffed loudly. He was good-looking and charming—she understood Katie’s attraction and knew full well the cold and sore throat were not fabricated ailments. Right now Katie was trying to find medicine to feel good enough to rejoin the party. But Mallie decided Brian needed to figure it all out on his own.
“You can be a real doofus, big brother. As for me, I want to go to the tent. They’re serving now, and I am hungry.”
“I’ll take you.”
Behind her, Hooper’s voice both startled and delighted. Delicious shivers traveled up and down her spine. She turned as he and Ella came through the door.
“If you’ll have me.” Hooper held out his arm.
Brian glared, probably not wanting to eat alone. After all, she had come to the wedding for him.
“Thanks, but I’m Brian’s plus one.” Her voice shook a bit, and she looked away as Lynn danced through her mind once more. Kneeling eyelevel with Ella, she found something to do with an untied bow.
“But I miss you,” Ella insisted, the hem of her long white dress already dusty from the ranch. “I want you to sit with Daddy and me.”
Suddenly, Brian straightened his shoulders with a firm nod. “Aw, go ahead. You’re right. I’ll go chase Katie down.”
“OK.” Mallie nodded back. As Brian loped off, she hugged Ella and stood to face Hooper. His eyes lit up, and he looked pleased as a
kid on Christmas. Somehow shy, she lowered her gaze to land on his silver lapel pin of two sets of footprints. And in the background of his collar, she saw the crucifix. Unbidden, her hand reached to touch it.
“Pa gave all us boys one like it, when he knew he wasn’t going to make it.” His voice was soft as Christy’s velvet gown. “My sisses got gold crosses set with their birthstones.”
“It must have been hard, losing him.” Mallie fingers moved to rest on the footprints. In reverse, she knew how it pained her dad that he’d likely outlive her. But today, today was a time for joy.
And Hoop’s face shone. “Yep. But you know, Christ was there at his side, holding him. Holding us. That’s what the footprints mean. When things get unbearable, I imagine Him at my side. Letting me lean on Him. Him lifting me when I can’t do it by myself.”
Comfort and joy rushed over her. It seemed Hooper taught her something about faith just in his choice of jewelry. Her lips trembled as she smiled.
Ella tugged at her coat, relaxing the charged moment. “Mallie, see my shiny shoes?” Patent leather Mary Janes peeked beneath the white froth. “They’re pretty, and they don’t hurt my feet.”
“Well, you are one smart girl. Pretty and painless.” She couldn’t help another big smile for Hooper, who was grinning like a happy jack-o’-lantern. Even his goofy smile dissolved the ligaments holding her knees together. “Actually,” she leaned down in a conspiratorial whisper. “I’m thinking of going upstairs and slipping into my boots. They’re a little bit more comfortable.”
Hoop’s forehead rose as if he liked the possibility, and her tummy tumbled. “Good idea.” Then he rolled his eyes as he indicated the white dress. “I was just thinking of getting Ella changed before she eats.”
“My real clothes are in Gramma’s room,” Ella announced. “I want my boots, too. Will you help me, Mallie?” She cupped her fingers in a little inviting gesture and shook her head at Hooper. “I don’t need you, Daddy.”
Hoop shrugged with another eye roll, and Mallie said, “Sure. You go upstairs. I’m right behind.”
“What’s wrong, Mallie?” His question was direct, and he deserved a direct answer. From the distress in his eyes, she understood he was worried about her health, for one; her grief for Renny, another; and her concern for Uncle Ted, a third.
Above all, she understood he had no idea his ex was at the wedding. He needed to know.
“I met Lynn. Ella’s mother. She’s here. At the wedding.”
“What?” Hoop backed into the cake table so hard Mallie reached for him in case the masterwork would topple. Then she pulled him close. It felt right. No, it was right, to hold him against her chest. His warm breath ruffled her hair, and an arm snaked to hold her closer. His muscles worked hard to control his pounding breaths as her heartbeats joined his in harsh cadence. As if neither could help it, his arms pulled her close, and she stayed willingly. He smelled as magnificent as he looked straight from the shower yet still full of the outdoors. How could he help it, living here on this glorious ranch? For a moment, she gave in to the comfort of his arms and warmth of his skin. His embrace tightened, his breath quickened in rhythm with hers, and she rejoiced for a quick second in feeling something she downright shouldn’t. Attraction. Need. A frisson of longing. She tamped all of it down and felt her muscles stiffen. All of that led to love, love led to commitment, and she couldn’t do that to Hooper, to Ella. Gently, she pulled away, and a red-brown flush of shock, maybe anger, rinsed Hooper’s cheekbones.
“I can’t believe it.” He shook his head fast and furious.
Mallie couldn’t resist her fingers melding with all ten of his. “Yes,” she managed finally. “She was next to me and introduced herself after the ceremony.”
“But…I. I…I think I would have seen her. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.” His cheeks had paled. “You were sitting with the Blakes.”
“Yeah, but Lynn came late and stood off in the crowd. Big blue hat and dress.”
“I…I.” He stumbled for words, and it occurred to her for the first time that Lynn had crashed the event. The honor of her presence had not been requested. Mallie tightened her fingers, and his squeezed back.
“There must be three hundred people here, Hoop, and the ranch is huge. If she didn’t want you to see her, she has about a billion ways to hide.”
“Ma…Christy. Nobody would have invited her. I know that. No one would do that without telling me. If anybody knows how to reach her anyway.”
She voiced her thought. “Maybe she crashed the wedding. It’s not like you have to have a ticket. Your mom said everybody hereabouts would have felt welcome.”
Mouth set in a grim line, he nodded. “You’re right. If she was anywhere in the county, she could have heard about it. Man, do you think she wants Ella back? After all this time?” His lids closed, his jaw tightened.
Without thinking about it, Mallie threw herself into his arms, aching. It started out as reassurance, but she understood the tremble tumbling through her was not just attraction but a tinge of jealousy. They hugged each other, hard.
“Well.” With a giant sigh, Mallie stepped back. “Well, maybe you ought to go find her. And sort out whatever it is.”
“Mallie…it’s not…”
“Malleeeeeeee! Daddy, let her go.” Ella squealed loudly, obviously from the top of the stairs.
“She’s on her way, honey girl.” Hoop’s voice shook.
“I better go.” Mallie tossed her head toward the hallway. “And so better you.”
Hoop’s shoulders, proud and hale just moments ago, slumped like an old man’s. She didn’t want to see his hurt, but sometimes, as they both knew, life threw rotten fruit. Then she smiled. That same rotten fruit ended up as compost to nourish something else. Taking his hand and holding it to her mouth, she reminded him of what she’d so recently learned.
“Jesus is at your side, Hoop. Lean on Him. I’ll catch up with you in the tent.”
****
Hoop was breathless, and this time it had nothing to do with Mallie. Well, not all of it. The sight of her backside walking up the stairs once again reinforced that he was a whole man.
But Lynn? Here at Hearts Crossing? His heart hammered and not in a good way. Of all people to wreck Kenn’s wedding, she’d been the last he’d expected. Like a rash, Tony O’Neal, Daisy’s ex-husband, popped up from time to time to mess with various Martins.
But Lynn? Well, if she was anywhere on this ranch, he’d find her. He knew every square inch. The fresh afternoon outside revived him, and he paused to look around Hearts Crossing, the foothills wrapping around it like warm arms. It came to him unbidden, the verse that had saved him so many times. I will lift up mine eyes…from whence cometh my help.
God, help me know what to say when I find her. You’ll want me to forgive, I know. I can do that, for You’ve forgiven me. But why have You brought her here? Am I to allow her back in my life? I’ve been longing for a ma for Ella. Would that be what You want for my child—an intact family? Was there something I did that drove her away?
He’d never say the words out loud, not anymore, but he had implored God with a similar prayer in the months and early years after Lynn had left. In those days, he had thought her continued absence had been the answer. Today, in this new plea, with Mallie in the picture, he had to follow more than ever the same advice he’d given her. Just like he’d leaned on her inside, he leaned on Jesus now.
He focused. Folks milled everywhere, at picnic tables, talking in small groups on the porch, spilling in and out of the house and tent. And Mallie had been right. There appeared to be everyone for fifty miles. Lynn might be the needle in the haystack. Although Mallie had said something about a big blue hat. How could he have missed that?
Suddenly, he knew where he’d find her. A tiny gully back of their little house, well, his little house, that ran with enough spring snowmelt to nourish a small stand of cottonwood saplings. It was where he’d proposed to Lynn; it was where she’
d told him she was expecting their child. He hustled around the corrals and past the barn. Tired he might be from the morning’s ride and the busy day, but he was pumped, too. Whatever was going on, he’d get it over with soon.
He laughed out loud when he saw her massive hat first. It looked like some fashion from a hundred years ago. Against a tree, Lynn sat with her skirt wrapped to her toes. The blue dress was long and plain, and even Hoop, who cared little about such things, could tell it was too homely for fashion. If it weren’t for that extreme hat, he might have thought she belonged to some strange cult.
Of course, she heard him approach, but she waited until he was in front of her on the path before she looked up.
“Hi Hoop. I reckoned you’d come here. After I told the bride’s friend who I was.”
His lips thinned. “She’s not just Christy’s friend. She’s a woman I happen to be interested in.”
Lynn’s mouth opened. “Oh. Well…”
“What are you doing here, Lynn?” He stood tall and proud in front of her. This woman had deserted him, trashed his heart, and shown up to wreck his brother’s wedding day and quite possibly, his last day with Mallie.
Unless, of course, he visited her at her aunt and uncle’s place in Promise. The possibility made this moment bearable. Like as not they wouldn’t be getting to Posy’s Grove today.
“What gives?”
Her knees shifted. “Hoop, I…found that Caring Bridge blog Kelley set up for you.” His eyebrows lifted in surprise. “I look up ‘Hearts Crossing’ on the internet sometimes. And, well, I know about your cancer. I’d like to help.”
A flash of the old bitterness flooded him. For better or worse. “You’re a bit late. I’m in remission now, Lynn. On my feet and getting better every day. Ella might have needed you back then. Myself included.” His teeth clenched at remembered pain. “…but we don’t need you now.”