I'll Be Home for Christmas: A heartwarming feel good romantic comedy

by Karen Clarke

  I wondered whether Dolly had some wrapping paper tucked away. Given the number of gifts I’d seen under the tree, and her hoarder-like tendencies, it was highly likely there’d be a raft of sheets stashed in a drawer in the living room.

  I checked the time: nearly an hour before Mum and Dad arrived. Still buzzing from reading Augustine’s final letter to William, I gathered my booty in my arms and headed down the landing. I nudged open the living room door with my forehead and edged inside, and let go of the lot when I saw Ryan, leaning over his laptop at the dining table.

  Hearing the clamour, he turned, a smile breaking over his face. ‘Ah, it’s my favourite koala.’

  Frozen to the spot, I could only stare for what felt like an hour, wondering if I’d finally run out of screams.

  ‘What…?’

  ‘…am I doing here?’ His smile seemed to fill his whole face, but I simply couldn’t compute why he was here, in the apartment, and not on a plane with Nicole.

  ‘Where…?’ My gaze swivelled around painfully. Was she in the kitchen, making tea?

  Ryan scrunched up his face and strummed his chin. ‘…are the satsumas?’ he said, pointing to the empty bowl as he finished my sentence. ‘I ate the last two this morning.’

  Why was he being so jokey? My heart was going berserk and my eyes felt too big.

  ‘Nicole,’ I managed to force out. ‘Where’s Nicole?’

  ‘On her way back to Gatwick.’ He stood up and stretched – a sight that felt oddly familiar – before drawing his hands down his face. ‘Every flight last night was cancelled,’ he added, miming a weary look. ‘Have you ever tried sleeping in an airport?’

  Unable to even contemplate what he meant by that, I said stupidly, ‘Your laptop wasn’t here.’

  He did a big frown and a full-body swing to look at it on the table, before swinging back again. Why was he being so swingy and light-hearted? So… happy. But, of course, why wouldn’t he be happy now the pieces of his life were slotting into place? ‘I take it with me, wherever I go,’ he said. ‘In case there’s an opportunity to do some writing, which – as it happened – there was. I was typing half the night, actually, and had an idea in the taxi on the way back for my next chapter. I thought I’d get it down while it was fresh in my mind.’

  He swiped his arm across his body, finger aimed at his screen, with that same jokey attitude. ‘I heard you in the shower,’ he said, then laughed. ‘I don’t mean I heard you, you weren’t singing or anything, but I heard the water running and guessed you must be in there.’

  Was he actually teasing me? In spite of our incredibly passionate kiss, I’d clearly been relegated back to the role of Charlie’s cousin. I supposed I should be grateful he didn’t seem awkward, or regretful, and was at least being friendly. Very friendly. ‘But why aren’t you on the plane with Nicole?’

  ‘What?’ He tucked in his chin.

  ‘Are you getting another flight?’ That must be it. He hadn’t been able to get a ticket at such short notice and would be joining her later today.

  ‘There wasn’t a flight in the first place, so I can’t get another,’ he said, and I was reminded of the taxi driver, puzzling over meanings and felt as if I was losing the plot. His eyebrows drew together, as though my responses weren’t making any sense. ‘Why would I get a flight in the first place?’

  ‘Because you and Nicole are back together,’ I exploded. ‘I saw you both, at the market—’

  ‘You followed us?’

  ‘I was Christmas shopping, and that’s not the point.’ I ignored the arch of his eyebrows. ‘Charlie told me he’d picked Nicole up from the airport yesterday, because she wanted to say something you needed to hear and that I needed to hear it too, because I was getting too close to you – or something.’ I was becoming confused. ‘And Dolly said you’d worked things out, and you left without saying goodbye.’

  ‘Only because you weren’t here.’ He took a step towards me with an expression I couldn’t fathom. ‘I told Dolly to tell you I’d speak to you soon, and I had no idea that Charlie had picked Nicole up from the airport, or that he’d ended up in hospital until I got hold of Dolly this morning. I’ve been in touch with him since.’

  I felt as if I was on a plane, experiencing turbulence. I was missing something crucial, but couldn’t work out what it was. ‘You and Nicole… you looked good together,’ I said, which apparently wasn’t the right thing to say at all.

  He recoiled slightly. ‘I think I was relieved to have finally sorted things out, that’s all.’ He gave a quick shake of his head. ‘I’d spent so long apologising for not wanting to marry her, trying to explain myself, feeling guilty and fielding her phone calls because all she wanted to do was shout and swear and beg me to come back, because she couldn’t cope.’

  I tried to picture it – a single mother with two young children, deserted instead of married with a loving partner. It was hard to blame her for being mad with him.

  ‘I don’t blame her,’ he said, as though he’d read my mind. ‘But…’ he nodded slowly, ‘since cutting off contact a couple of months ago and coming here, where she was unlikely to just turn up, things have changed. She’s had time to think and realise what’s really important.’

  Something was happening to my insides. It felt like a flock of doves was trying to take off, wings beating against my ribcage. Was Ryan… was he saying that he and Nicole weren’t getting back together? ‘So… you and Nicole aren’t getting back together?’

  He shook his head, eyes soft as they roamed my face. ‘I’m honestly surprised you thought that was even a possibility after… you know.’ His gaze moved to the sofa and back to my face. ‘That kiss.’

  I tried to remember how to breathe. ‘I thought you might have spent the night together. Here, I mean.’

  His head lurched back, as if the idea was as remote as life on Venus. ‘She slept in Charlie’s bed and I crashed on the sofa,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how Charlie’s managed on there, to be honest. It’s fine for the first hour, then really uncomfortable. I feel terrible.’

  ‘Your suitcase isn’t here.’

  ‘Sorry?’

  ‘Your suitcase had gone.’

  His face cleared. ‘Nicole must have put it in the wardrobe,’ he said. ‘She’s a bit of a neat freak.’

  I started pacing, thoughts crashing through my head. ‘Why did you propose in the first place, if you didn’t love her enough?’

  ‘Nicole was on the rebound when we met,’ he said, combing his fingers through his hair, seeming as stunned as I was. ‘It was all a bit of a whirlwind actually. I was at a birthday do in a pub—’

  ‘Playing darts?’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Sorry, go on.’

  He took a second to regroup. ‘Anyway, Nicole was there with friends, we got chatting and she said she was organising a hen do, so I asked if it was hers and she said, “Is that a proposal?” and I said something cocky like, “Not now, but give me a few months and it might be”.’

  I folded my arms. ‘That’s unbelievably cheesy.’

  ‘There might have been drink involved.’

  ‘And then you fell for her?’

  ‘I suppose I did, but I never meant it to get serious,’ he said. ‘My book was coming out and I was trying to buy a house, but things were moving fast. Nicole was really intense and by the time she told me she had children, I was in too deep.’

  ‘She didn’t tell you right away?’ My estimation of Nicole plummeted.

  ‘Don’t judge her,’ he said, telepathically. ‘John was working abroad and she was struggling with the children, so she told him to leave for good. She was basically looking for a replacement, but didn’t tell me about Lulu and Jackson right away because she wanted to know I really liked her before introducing me to them.’

  Privately, I thought this was a terrible way to start a relationship, but there didn’t seem much point in saying so.

  ‘Not a great start to a relationship, but they were real
ly cute, and she started telling them they’d have a new daddy soon, and… I don’t know, I felt like I couldn’t back out.’ There was a haunted look in his eyes. ‘I started to feel responsible for them, like I said.’

  Like I had, with the lamb who’d lost his mother, keeping him in my wardrobe/stable, thinking I could be a substitute mother. But totally different.

  ‘I didn’t want to just leave, like their dad did, but it turned out he hadn’t left of his own accord, Nicole had kicked him out. But because he loves her and the kids, he decided to take a job in England so he could be around all the time, but by then, Nicole was set on us getting married. She’d booked the venue, the hen night, you name it. Then I had the big conversation with John and knew I couldn’t go through with it, and I knew it wasn’t fair to keep seeing the children. I wanted them to forget me and start seeing their dad again.’

  I hadn’t thought him capable of saying so many words in one go, but as I drank them in, I realised they were beautiful words – words that showed his true character, one I liked very much. ‘I wish I’d known all this before we met.’ He was looking at me closely, gauging my response. ‘I probably wouldn’t have had you down as an arsehole.’

  His mouth began to smile. ‘I called you unstable.’

  ‘I know.’ But I was smiling too. It felt like a natural expression to be wearing now everything was out in the open. ‘I’m glad it’s worked out for Nicole,’ I said, secretly feeling a bit sorry for John. She definitely sounded high-maintenance, especially with all that marathon training. ‘And I think you were right to call off your wedding, even if it was at your stag party.’

  ‘You know, Charlie was at that party. We talked for hours after I’d been to see Nicole…’ He paused and swallowed, and I could only imagine how difficult that conversation must have been – unlike mine with Scott, when I’d simply said, I don’t want to marry you and he’d said, OK then and went to stay with a friend (probably Hannah) until I’d cleared my stuff out of his house. ‘Anyway, we got a bit drunk, and he said he’d always meant to introduce us, because he thought we’d be great together, but the timing was never right.’

  ‘Really?’ I thought of my conversation with Charlie at the hospital and realised, in technicolor hindsight, that we’d been talking at cross purposes. He hadn’t facilitated Nicole’s visit to show me she and Ryan were meant for each other at all – he’d wanted me to know she was reuniting with the father of her children, and that the path was clear for Ryan and me. ‘That’s… I had no idea.’ My chest felt tight. ‘He never mentioned it.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I might have said something about staying away from relationships in future and concentrating on my writing career instead.’

  ‘Talking of which,’ I said, when we’d searched each other’s eyes. ‘I’m not sure I approve of you writing me into your book.’

  He slid a sheepish look at his laptop. ‘Have you been snooping again?’

  ‘I wasn’t snooping the first time,’ I protested. ‘I just nudged it and it came on.’

  ‘Riiiight.’

  ‘Noah Dailey?’

  ‘You should be flattered,’ he said. ‘If you read it properly, you’ll know that Noah is a very appealing character – warm, quirky…’ His eyes sparked. ‘Extremely attractive.’

  ‘He’s a man.’

  ‘But I was thinking of you when I wrote him.’

  ‘That’s not weird at all.’ I was still smiling. ‘Can he at least have a secret cool side? Be a champion athlete, or good at picking locks, or a computer genius?’

  Ryan’s gaze didn’t waver. ‘I prefer him as he is.’

  I realised we’d had this whole, life-altering conversation with me dressed as a koala and he’d still taken me seriously. ‘You’d better give me a mention in the acknowledgements.’

  ‘I’ve done better than that.’ He held out a hand and mine slotted into it, perfectly. He tugged me past the spilled presents on the floor to the dining table.

  ‘If you nudge the screen again, it’ll probably come on,’ he said, maintaining a straight face.

  I nudged his shoulder instead. ‘I’ll let you do it this time.’

  He sat on the dining chair and touched the keyboard and a document appeared with some words typed in italics halfway down. ‘See?’ His arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me close, and as I bent to read what he’d written, happiness bolted through me.

  For Nina, who inspired me to keep writing and is a fine example to koalas everywhere.

  I turned so that our foreheads touched and he drew me tighter.

  ‘It’s another perfect Christmas gift,’ I managed.

  ‘Another?’

  ‘I’ll tell you later,’ I said. ‘Thank you for this.’

  Our faces were close and it felt so right kissing him, as though this was what I’d been missing my whole life. As he gently pulled me onto his lap and I wound my arms round his neck, I knew this Christmas was going to be a good one after all.

  ‘What are all those?’ Ryan murmured, when we finally broke from our third – maybe fourth – long kiss, casting his gaze to the items I’d dropped on the floor.

  ‘I was going to do some present wrapping.’ My lips felt twice their usual size. ‘A couple of them are for you, so you’d better not look.’ I pressed my nose to his neck and breathed him in. Even after a night at the airport, still wearing the clothes he’d left in, he smelt totally delicious with an underlying tang of satsuma.

  ‘Talking of presents…’ He loosened his grip on my waist and shifted slightly, fishing his phone from his pocket. ‘I don’t want to embarrass you in front of everyone, so I’ll show you now.’

  ‘Honestly, the dedication is enough.’

  ‘I hope you’ll like this more.’ He prodded the screen and turned it to show me, but all I could see was a barcode and a jumble of letters.

  ‘I don’t get it.’

  ‘It’s a plane ticket to Norway, for New Year’s Eve,’ he said. ‘To see the Northern Lights.’ I hadn’t thought it possible to feel any more emotional than I had a minute ago. ‘Two tickets, actually. Grace Benedict has never been to Norway, so I thought I could do some research for my next book, if you don’t mind me tagging along.’ My heart was so full, I couldn’t produce any words. ‘I thought it would be a nice way to say a proper goodbye to your gran.’ Doubt crowded his face. ‘I haven’t booked a hotel, so if you don’t fancy it—’

  ‘Shut up, Ryan.’ I took his face between my palms and kissed him fiercely and we didn’t pull apart until there was an eruption of noise from downstairs.

  ‘Charlie’s back.’ I was so croaky-voiced, I sounded a lot like Margot.

  ‘We’d better go and welcome him home.’ Ryan’s voice was seriously gruff. ‘Though I’d rather stay right here for a few more hours.’

  ‘Serena!’ Dolly’s shout of delight shot a smile to my face. Mum and Dad were here too, and I suddenly couldn’t wait to see them. ‘What are you doing here?’ Dolly cried.

  I grinned at Ryan’s expression. ‘It’s not really a catchphrase,’ I said. ‘It’s just something everyone says.’

  ‘We’ll have to invent a new one.’ He stroked a hand through my hair, as if he didn’t mind that it wasn’t long enough to toss about, and I got to my feet unsteadily and held out my hands.

  ‘Come on,’ I said as our fingers entwined and tightened.

  ‘Do we have to?’

  ‘We do.’ I smiled into his eyes. ‘I want you to meet my parents.’

  Epilogue

  ‘We’re not going to see them, are we?’ I dropped my suitcase by the door and sat beside Ryan on the sofa. ‘Almost a week, and nothing.’

  He wrapped a comforting arm around my shoulder. ‘There’s still time before we leave for the airport,’ he said, but I could tell he was as disappointed as I was that there’d been no sight of the Northern Lights since our arrival in Norway, six days ago.

  ‘So much for us being in an aurora borealis hot spot,’ I said, referring to t
he boast on the website that our cabin, located just outside Tromsø, afforded a perfect view of ‘nature’s celestial ballet’ from the balcony, thanks to the ‘Arctic latitudes and clear, unpolluted skies’.

  Make sure you have your cameras charged and ready!

  Not that I was too worried about taking pictures of views these days; just photos of the rooms I’d been revamping since Christmas for my blog The House Whisperer, which was gaining new followers every day.

  ‘We were unlucky to pick a cloudy week,’ Ryan admitted. ‘It’s the first time it’s been like this in ages.’

  I nodded. ‘Probably something to do with climate change.’

  Since our first evening, when we’d spotted a grey streak arcing across the sky and rushed to the balcony just as it disappeared, there hadn’t been a glimpse of any ‘celestial’ activity at all, and I wished the clouds would clear off – or at least part for ten minutes and give us a flash of… something.

  ‘They’re supposed to appear at least two hundred nights of the year,’ I said, for about the hundredth time.

  ‘We’ve still had a brilliant time.’ Ryan kissed the top of my head. ‘Your gran would have loved it.’

  I smiled as I nestled against his chest, feeling the reassuring thud of his heart through three layers of clothing – despite the crackling fire in the log-burning stove, we weren’t built for arctic temperatures. ‘It’s been amazing,’ I said, keeping an eye on the ink-black sky beyond the glass wall of the cabin, just in case. ‘I’ve loved every minute.’

  ‘Most memorable moment?’

  I lifted my head. ‘You mean apart from…?’