Elaine Viets & Victoria Laurie, Nancy Martin, Denise Swanson - Drop-Dead Blonde (v5.0) (pdf)

by Drop-Dead Blonde (epub)

  Millicent didn't hear her. She was too busy pulling wed- ding gowns from the racks. Helen knew she should help her boss, but she couldn't tear herself from the show out- side the shop window.

  A small, shy figure emerged from the huge Rolls and crept around the nearly copulating couple. Miss Meek was about twenty with no-color hair scraped into a messy pony- tail. Her gray sweats were baggy, but Helen guessed a slen- der figure was buried underneath the lumpy cloth.

  ``You'd think Kiki would give her maid a decent cast-off dress,'' Helen said.

  Millicent looked up from the snowstorm of white chiffon and satin on the silver display stand. ``Maid? That's the bride--Desiree Shenrad.''

  ``Uh-oh,'' Helen said. ``We've got trouble.''

  Kiki finally pried herself off the chauffeur, slapped his perky posterior, and sent him back to stand by the car. She flung open the salon door and yelled, ``Millie!''

  Millicent winced. Only big spenders called her that. She hated it.

  Miss Meek scurried in her mother's magnificent wake. The shop's pink paint was designed to flatter most complex- ions. The mirrors made double chins vanish. But they couldn't transform dreary little Desiree.

  Kiki started to air-kiss Millicent, then swiveled her head so abruptly, Helen thought she'd get whiplash.

  Kiki had seen the rose dress.

  ``I want that,'' she said. Helen had never heard a soft voice sound so hard.

  Every woman who came into Millicent's wanted the rose dress. There was nothing quite like it. The strapless gown Excerpt from Just Murdered 163 had a beautifully beaded bodice. But the skirt was the showstopper. Made of dark red taffeta that shaded to black, the skirt was swirled to look like an enormous bouquet of velvety roses. If Helen ever won an Oscar, she'd went to wear that dress onstage.

  ``I'd like to wear that to my daughter's wedding,'' Kiki said.

  ``That's not a mother-of-the-bride dress,'' Millicent said.

  ``I am not going to wear some pathetic little powder-blue dress,'' Kiki said.

  ``I don't sell pathetic little dresses,'' Millicent said. ``But my customers leave here properly dressed for special occasions.''

  ``I'll decide what's proper. You!'' Kiki pointed at Helen. ``Take the orse dress to fitting room A.''

  She picked the largest room, naturally. Helen looked at Millicent for approval, who gave her a slight nod.

  ``Oh, yes,'' Kiki said. ``We should get something for my daughter, too.'' The bridge was an afterthought at her own wedding.

  ``And when is the wedding?'' Millicent said.

  ``Saturday,'' Kiki said.

  ``June, July, or August?''

  ``This coming Saturday, December fourth,'' Kiki said.

  Millicent looked stunned. ``Impossible. Three months is a rush job. We can't order the dresses in time for a wedding in a few days.''

  ``Then we'll buy something in stock. And you'll have to alter it here. Money is no object.''

  Millicent's eyes narrowed. ``You'd better tell me what happened, and why you're coming to me so late. I won't help you until I know the whole story.''

  ``It's that bitch at Haute Bridal. I saw what she got in for the wedding and canceled everything. The fabrics looked cheap. The colors were horrible. Nothing was as she promised.''

  ``But bridal sales are final,'' Helen said.

  Kiki laughed. ``My ex-husband is a lawyer. Nothing is final.''

  ``It is at this store,'' Millicent said. ``Do what I say, and I'll make you look like every one of your thirty million dollars.'' 164 Excerpt from Just Murdered

  Millicent was pointing a red talon at Kiki, punching each word for emphasis. Helen thought the bloodred nails were the mark of Millicent's success. She'd clawed her way up to the chicest shop on Las Olas with only a small divorce settlement and one major talent: She had a gift for making women look good.

  Millicent knew how to emphasize their good points and downplay their figure flaws. She was her own best example. Her hair had turned snowy white years ago. Millicent had the courage to leave it that dramatic color. It made her look younger than most of the highlighted salon jobs in her shop. An unface-lifted fifty, Millicent looked forty. Colorful tops drew attention to her remarkable chest, held high by a cantilevered bra. Dark pants minimized generous hips. But she couldn't hide her clever, appraising eyes.

  Kiki shrugged like a spoiled child. ``Millie, darling, help me into the rose gown.''

  Kiki stepped out of her pink dress and revealed an even pinker body. Her blond pubic hair was sculpted into a dol- lar sign.

  Helen gaped.

  ``Any man who gets me hits the jackpot,'' Kiki said, and winked.

  It took Helen and Millicent both to wrestle her into the rose dress. The skirt had four layers, including the only hoop Helen had seen since Gone with the Wind. Helen had to admit that the outrageous gown fit Kiki. She had the carriage and the attitude to wear a skirt the size of an SUV.

  ``I have to have it,'' Kiki said.

  ``So buy it,'' Millicent said. ``But don't upstage your daughter at her own wedding.''

  ``No one can upstage the bride,'' Kiki said. ``I'll take the dress.''

  ``Only if you promise to buy another dress for the church service,'' Millicent said. ``You cannot wear a ball gown to a daytime wedding, Kiki. You'll look like a joke.''

  Those words got through to Kiki. She settled on a sleek black knit for the church and a gauzy gold gown suitable for a minor goddess for the rehearsal dinner. She insisted on putting the rose dress back on.

  Finally, Kiki remembered her daughter. Desiree stood Excerpt from Just Murdered 165 silently in the corner like Cinderella. Helen didn't know whether to offer her a chair or some ashes by the fireplace.

  ``I want a wedding dress with a full skirt and a cathedral- length train,'' Kiki said.

  ``That's a ten-foot train,'' Millicent said. ``A petite bride like Desiree will be swallowed by all that fabric.''

  ``Not if she stands up straight.'' Kiki's French-manicured nail poked her daughter between her slumping shoulder blades.

  ``I want something expensive,'' Kiki said. ``I want snow white, not that off-white color. It looks like dirty teeth.''

  Desiree stood there, mute.

  ``What do you want, Desiree?'' Millicent asked. ``It's your wedding.''

  ``It makes no difference. I won't get it.'' Desiree's little voice was drowned in disappointment.

  What was Millicent doing? Helen wondered. She was too smart to get between warring mothers and daughters. Did she forget that Kiki was paying?

  Desiree tried on a simple white strapless gown. Her mother said, ``Oh, Desiree. You're only twenty years old and I can see you as a nun.''

  ``And I see you as an old tart.'' That soft voice. Those hunched shoulders. That meek expression. Yet she'd in- sulted her mother with acid-stinging accuracy.

  For five hours, Desiree tried on dresses while her mother stabbed her with stiletto slashes. Desiree seemed sad and beaten. Only later did Helen realize the meek young woman had fought back with feline ferocity.

  Helen did know one thing: She was worn out from being in the same room with that rage. Hauling the heavy wed- ding dresses didn't help. They were encrusted with scratchy crystal beading and itchy lace. Many weighed twenty pounds or more. Helen had to hold the hangers over her head to keep the long skirts off the floor. Her arms ached, and her neck and shoulders screamed for relief.

  When she ran for yet another dress, she saw the chauf- feur, Rod, sweating in the shimmering sun. It wasn't fair to keep him standing by the car in the brutal Florida heat. Helen pulled a cold bottle of water from the fridge and went outside. 166 Excerpt from Just Murdered

  ``You look like you could use this.'' She handed the frosty bottle to Rod. A little sweat improved the man. The chauffeur's black curls were tousled by the Florida breeze--or an expensive stylist.

  Rod turned pale under his tan and backed away. ``Don't let her see you,'' he said. ``You could ruin everything.'' He sounded really frightened.


  ``I'm sorry,'' Helen said. ``I don't want you to lose your job. It's a hot day and--''

  ``Job? You could cost me a lot more than any job. Get away from me with that.''

  Why would a water bottle frighten a big, strong man? Helen didn't have time to think about it. She heard Milli- cent calling her; ``Helen, where's that dress I sent you for?''

  Helen ran inside, grabbed it off the rack, and hurried back with a pearl-and-crystal concoction. Desiree put it on like a hair shirt.

  ``It's regal,'' Kiki said, after Helen fought the dress's one hundred white satin buttons.

  ``I look like a homely Hapsburg princess,'' the despairing Desiree said.

  She was right, Helen thought. She did look like a sad, chinless royal bride. Desiree was one of those women who looked her worst in white.

  The desperate Millicent went into the odd closet, where she kept her mistakes. She brought out the spider dress. The bride had broken her engagement and defaulted on the seven-thousand-dollar gown. The spider dress had been impossible to resell. It looked bad on a hanger and worse on most women. The color was peculiar: It's pale pink un- dertone looked dingy next to the true white gowns. The style was odder still, a cobwebby lace that floated on the air like cat hair. Helen itched every time she saw it.

  Desiree tried it on and, for the first time that day, smiled.

  Helen quit shoving a beaded gown back on the rack and stared at the little bride. She had never seen a dress make such a dramatic transformation.

  Mousy little Desiree lived up to her name for the first time in her life. She was beguiling in that dress, a fey fairy princess. The lace was a gossamer web. The crystal beads gleamed like enchanted dewdrops. The subtle pink color Excerpt from Just Murdered 167 turned Desiree's flour-white complexion creamy and put highlights in her dull hair.

  On this bride, the odd dress looked elegant and extraordinary.

  ``It's perfect,'' Millicent said.

  ``I love it,'' Helen saids.

  ``I want it,'' the bride said.

  ``You can't have it,'' her mother said. Kiki was still wear- ing the rose dress. But she was no longer a showstopper. Now she looked overblown in the extravagant gown. ``That wedding dress will never do.''

  Of course not, Helen thought. You can't have your daughter outshine you.

  ``Then I'll buy it myself,'' Desiree said.

  ``Using what for money?'' her mother said. ``It's seven thousand dollars. You won't come into your grandmother's trust fund until you're thirty.''

  ``Daddy will buy it for me,'' Desiree said.

  ``Daddy is fighting off bankruptcy,'' Kiki said. ``Daddy the hotshot lawyer spent millions on that computer-stock class-action suit and lost. Daddy can barely pay his half of the wedding.''

  ``Why do you keep running up the costs for Daddy?'' Desiree cried. ``I wanted a simple beach wedding, not a sit- down dinner for four hundred.''

  ``What you want is beside the point,'' Kiki said. Helen thought those were the truest words ever spoken in that store.

  ``A beach wedding is fine when a secretary marries a mechanic,'' Kiki said. ``But for our sort, weddings are for the parents. We're paying the bills. Your father will invite his important clients. I will invite patrons of the arts. They will expect to see a traditional bride walk down the aisle, not some hippie. I will buy that one.''

  Kiki indicated the Hapsburg princess dress. Its wide, stiff skirt looked like a satin pop-up tent. Its ten-foot train was loaded with crystal beads. Helen wondered how the tiny bride could drag all that fabric down the aisle.

  Desiree hated the dress. So did Helen and Millicent.

  ``Mother, I can't dance in that at the reception. Not with that huge train.''

  ``We'll bustle up the train,'' her mother said. 168 Excerpt from Just Murdered

  ``Can't,'' Millicent said. ``It's too bulky. It will look like a bale of fabric on her back.''

  ``Is the train detachable?'' Helen said.

  Millicent raised an eyebrow at Helen's faux pas.

  Kiki's smile dripped malice. ``Let me guess. You had your reception at the VFW hall next to the turkey-shoot posters.''

  ``Knights of Columbus Hall,'' Helen said. ``And it was the Holy Redeemer rummage sale.''

  Millicent frowned. Helen shut up. She'd let a detail from her old life slip out in her anger. Her fingers itched for the crowbar she'd used to end her marriage. She was on the run, but she never regretted the satisfying crunch she heard when she first started swinging and connected with her tar- get. The cries and crunches felt good. Kiki was a candidate for just such a shattering experience.

  The silence stretched on. Then Kiki said, ``We shall buy two wedding dresses. One for the church ceremony and one for the reception. If Desiree will wear the dress with the train for the wedding ceremony, I will buy her the hip- pie dress to dance in.''

  The bride said yes, happy for even a half victory.

  Helen was surprised that Kiki would compromise. Thank goodness for the trend among rich brides for two dresses-- and Kiki's eagerness to run up bills for her cash-strapped ex.

  ``We'll take these and come back tomorrow to pick out the veil and bridesmaid dresses,'' Kiki said.

  Another welcome surprise. Helen didn't think she could survive another five-hour fight. She did some quick calcula- tions. Kiki would be spending maybe sixty thousand dollars on dresses, accessories, and alterations at Millicent's. Helen would have to work more than four eyars to make that much at her dead-end job.

  Kiki left in a tornado of promises and air kisses, invigor- ated by the afternoon battle. Desiree trailed listlessly be- hind her. Rod, the delectably sweaty chauffeur, opened Kiki's door. She slid inside decorously.

  When the Rolls pulled away from the curb, Helen and Millicent collapsed into the pink chairs. They were soft, but not too yielding. A tired woman could get out of them with dignity. No woman every sat on the gray ``husband couch.'' She knew her eyes would glaze with boredom if she went there. Excerpt from Just Murdered 169

  Helen sighed and kicked off her shoes. Millicent fanned herself with a bridal consultant's brochure.

  ``The things I do for money,'' Millicent groaned.

  ``Rod the chauffeur is doing something strange for the big bucks,'' Helen said. ``You won't believe this, Millicent. He was afraid to take a bottle of water from me. I mean, really scared. He said, `Don't let her see you. You could ruin everything.' He acted like I was handing him a bomb. Why is he so afraid?''

  ``Because Kiki is a jealous bitch. She doesn't want her chauffeur talking to a younger, better-looking woman.''

  ``I wasn't coming on to him. I'm happy with Phil.'' Boy, am I happy, Helen thought.

  ``Then don't interfere,'' Millicent said sharply. ``Kiki's name should be Kinky. She likes watching her chauffeur stand by that car and sweat. She probably does him that way. Don't feel sorry for Rod. That's his job. Don't cater to him like he's married to a client. He's not a husband, although God knows he has some of the same duties.''

  ``At least Rod is well paid,'' Helen said.

  ``He thinks he is, the fool,'' Millicent said. ``Kiki's had many chauffeurs. She pays them minimum wage and puts them in her will for a million bucks. When she bounces them, she writes them out. Gets herself cheap help and first-class service that way. It must be a shock for those young men to go from millionaire dreams to minimum- wage reality. I can't imagine what it's like.''

  I can, Helen thought. I used to make major money and live in a mansion before I caught my ex-husband with my next-door neightbor. I'd kill Kiki if she pulled that on me.

  ``How do you know these things?'' Helen said.

  ``It's the talk of the town,'' Millicent said.

  Which town? Helen wondered. No one discussed it where she lived.

  ``This chauffeur will get his walking papers soon,'' Milli- cent said. ``Kiki didn't grope him when she got back into the car.''

  Millicent talked so easily about the outre world of the overrich. Helen felt like a stranger in a parallel un
iverse. ``Well, they're gone,'' she said. ``I'm glad it's over.''

  ``Over?'' Millicent said. ``It's just begun.'' DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES

  A SCUMBLE RIVER MYSTERY

  DENISE SWANSON Chapter 1

  Blonde, But Not Forgotten

  Bunny!''

  ``Ruby!''

  ``Girlfriend, you'll never believe . . .''

  The Sunday-morning silence inside the bowling alley storeroom was shattered by the excited squeals coming from near the building's entrance. Skye Denison paused in midreach to listen. She recognized one voice as being that of Bunny Reid, the alley manager, but who was Ruby?