Elaine Viets & Victoria Laurie, Nancy Martin, Denise Swanson - Drop-Dead Blonde (v5.0) (pdf)

by Drop-Dead Blonde (epub)

  ``The lockers are only two-feet-by-two-feet cubes, so there's no way she could have fit in one of those, contor- tionist or not,'' Simon said. He shrugged off his charcoal- gray suit coat and hung it on the back of a chair.

  Skye sat down the staple gun and went over to him. ``Then it has to be the bathrooms, but we checked them.''

  ``Even the men's room,'' Bunny added.

  ``Let's look again.'' Simon rolled up the sleeves of his buttercup-yellow shirt.

  As they approached the bathrooms, Skye examined the area carefully, but could see no trace of the missing blonde. Of course, by now the woman could be in Chicago or points south; nearly an hour had elapsed since she had disap- peared. Skye wisely refrained from pointing this out to Simon, who did not seem in the mood to receive helpful observations.

  Having inspected the men's lavatory and found nothing, Bunny, Skye, and Simon crowded into the ladies' room. To their right a sink, soap dispenser, and paper-towel machine hugged the wall. To their left were two stalls. There was no sign of any recent occupation.

  Skye let her gaze wander, starting at the floor and travel- ing slowly upward. Suddenly she gasped and pointed to the ceiling. A telltale swatch of red Spandex clung to the white acoustic tile.

  Simon left the room to fetch a chair from the bar. He returned, loosened his tie, and climbed on. He pushed the white acoustic tile aside and poked his head into the open- ing. Less than a second later he descended and said, ``She was there, all right. The dust's been disturbed, and there's another sliver of red cloth caught on one of the struts. But she's gone now.''

  ``At least we know where she hid.'' Skye took his arm as they all moved out of the bathroom. ``I was beginning to think she really had vanished into thin air.''

  ``That's right.'' Simon squeezed Skye's hand. ``And she can't have gotten far without her car.''

  Bunny grinned, sitting back down and picking up her clipboard. ``You never know. Ruby's very resourceful. You 184 Denise Swanson should hear about the scrapes she used to get us out of when we were in the big show together at the Golden Nugget.''

  ``It's too frightening to contemplate.'' Simon looked at his mother through narrowed eyes,

  ``Don't tell me one of her husbands was also a car thief.''

  ``No, but she dated a cop who worked the stolen-vehicle squad.'' Bunny's voice was dreamy. ``That man could pick a lock and hot-wire a Corvette faster than a professional car thief.''

  Simon heaved a sigh, then headed to the bar. ``I need a drink. Anyone else want something?''

  Before either Skye or Bunny could respond, a throaty voice from the doorway said, ``I'll take a martini, straight up, two olives. Don't be stingy with the vodka. It's been quite a day.''

  ``Ruby!'' Bunny catapulted out of her chair and em- braced her friend. ``Are you okay?'' Her voice was muffled in Ruby's cleavage, since Bunny was a good seven inches shorter than the blonde.

  ``I'm fine. I was just over at the police station straight- ening things out with that gorgeous police chief. Sorry if you were worried.'' Ruby squeezed Bunny back and then zeroed in on Simon. ``Don't tell me this handsome man is Sonny Boy.''

  He shot his mother a dirty look before holding out his hand. ``I prefer Simon, and you must be Ruby . . . ?''

  ``Oh, don't worry about last names. When you've had as many as I have, you sort of lose track.'' Ruby moved closer to Simon, ignoring the hand he held out and instead envel- oping him in a smothering hug. ``Bunny, you never told me Scumble River was so full of good-looking men.''

  Skye had been standing to the side, watching the pro- ceedings. Now she made a mental note to ask Wally what last name appeared on Ruby's driver's license.

  Simon had managed to wiggle out of Ruby's grasp--no easy task, since the blonde was a whole lot of woman, and he clutched Skye's hand like a lifeline. ``This is my girl- friend, Skye Denison.''

  Ruby answered, ``We've met, although not under the best circumstances.'' She took Skye's chin in her fingers and examined her face. ``You're developing a couple of DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 185 impressive shiners. Remind me to give you some makeup I've got that will cover them up.'' She peered at Simon from beneath her lashes and drawled, ``We don't want ev- eryone in town thinking Sonny Boy beats you.''

  Simon made a noise deep in his throat, but before he could respond, Bunny tugged her friend away and settled her into a chair. ``It's so good to see you. Tell me what everyone has been up to since I left.''

  ``Well, Benny's back in jail.'' Ruby dangled a high-heeled red sandal from her toe and leaned back. ``Although hope- fully not for long.''

  Simon followed the two women and sat down. ``Before you start catching up, I have just a couple of questions.''

  ``Oh?'' Ruby's eyes were guarded.

  ``Bunny, were you expecting Ruby?''

  ``Sure. She called a couple or so days ago and said she was driving up from Vegas to visit me. I told her it was perfect timing because of the Spring Break Bash. Ruby does a great Marilyn Monroe impression. She'll be the star of our show Friday night.''

  ``I see.'' A line appeared between Simon's eyebrows, but he kept his expression pleasant. ``Ruby, what made you decide to visit right now? It can't be our great weather.''

  ``Just wanted to see my friend, Bunny.''

  ``Bunny said you own your own business. Was it hard to get someone to take care of your store while you're gone?''

  Ruby waved her hand. ``I had to shut it down. I lost the lease on the building. That's why I had the leftover merchandise in my car when Chief Boyd stopped me.''

  ``That's too bad. What will you do now?''

  ``I'm not going to worry about that.'' She shrugged. ``Something will turn up. It always does.'' She squeezed Bunny's hand. ``And with the store closed, I have time to travel and visit friends.''

  Bunny elbowed Simon in the side. ``If you're through interrogating us, maybe you could fix Ruby that martini she asked for, and I'd like a--''

  ``Coke.'' Simon cut her off. Bunny had come to Scumble River addicted to prescription pain medication after hurting her back. She had gotten caught trying to use a fake pre- scription, and as part of her probation she wasn't supposed to consume any narcotics or alcohol. 186 Denise Swanson

  ``Right, a Coke.'' Bunny jutted her chin out. ``That's what I was going to ask for before you interrupted me.''

  Simon and Skye exchanged glances. His mother always meant well, but somehow she invariably managed to get into predicaments that other people avoided. Bunny was trouble waiting to happen.

  ``Just one more question.'' Simon stared at Ruby, un- moved by his mother's irritation. ``How did you fix things with Chief Boyd? From what I heard, he sounded ex- tremely angry.''

  Ruby's tone was offhand, but her gaze was sharp. ``He and I understand each other.''

  ``So if I call him, he'll tell me everything is fine with you?''

  ``Yes.'' Ruby examined her manicure. ``You know, lack of trust is not an attractive trait in a man.''

  Skye noticed Simon's jaw tightening, so she took his hand and tugged him toward the bar before he could respond. There really was nothing more he could do unless he wanted to call his mother's friend a liar, which she was afraid might be exactly what he was about to do. His and Bunny's mother-son relationship was still too fragile to withstand an affront like that.

  As soon as they were out of earshot Skye whispered to Simon, ``Do you believe her?''

  ``Not for a second.''

  ``What are you going to do?''

  ``First I'm going to talk to Wally, and if he hasn't got any answers, I'll call a friend of mine in Las Vegas. It's surprising what funeral directors hear.''

  Skye could believe it. Both she and Simon dealt with the public during very emotional times in their lives, and often they were told things they'd rather not know. ``I'll keep my ears open here. I have a feeling Ruby will eventually let something or other slip.''

  ``No doubt.'' Simon poured vodka into a chrome shaker. ``Why do you think she's here?''

  `
`My guess is she got into some trouble in Las Vegas, and decided to hide out here until things cool off.''

  ``I hope it's not something illegal. Try to find out who Benny is, and why he's in jail.'' Simon picked up the mar- tini and the glass of Coke and carried them to the two DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 187 women across the room. ``Here you go, ladies.'' He put his hand on his mother's shoulder. ``I've got to get back to the funeral home. There's a viewing tonight. I'll see you tomorrow. You two try and stay out of trouble.''

  Skye accompanied him to the front door. He kissed her and traced a gentle finger over her cheek. ``I'm sorry, I didn't ask earlier how you were feeling.''

  ``My face hurts, but I'll be fine.'' Skye grimaced. ``I just wish I didn't look like a raccoon.''

  ``But you're the cutest little raccoon in Stanley County.'' He kissed her again and added, ``Keep an eye on them. Ruby's up to something, and I don't trust Bunny not to get involved. You know how easily led astray she is.'' Chapter 4

  Much Ado about Blondes ``I hear one of that woman's trampy friends is in town.'' Skye's mother, May, didn't look up from the stove as she stirred a water-and-flour mixture into the meat drippings. This was a delicate operation. A lapse in concentration could mean lumps in the gravy, an occurrence not allowed in May's kitchen.

  Skye shook out the tablecloth and carefully made sure it hung evenly before answering. Her mother had taken an instant aversion to Bunny, which was both unusual and awkward: unusual, in that May generally liked everyone, and awkward, since Skye was dating Bunny's son. Skye just counted her blessings that Ruby's makeup seemed to work, and so far her mother had not noticed the bruises she had acquired from the morning's umbrella incident. May would really have it in for Bunny if she knew that she had physi- cally harmed Skye, even unintentionally.

  ``If by 'that woman' you mean Bunny,'' Skye said, ``then yes, there is someone visiting her, but how can you pronounce someone a tramp when you've never even met her?''

  May poured a smooth stream of dark brown gravy into the china boat and set it on the counter. She selected a knife from the drawer and started to carve the roast. ``Be- cause I saw those awful things Wally had to get rid of.'' May was a police, fire, and emergency dispatcher. She nor- mally worked weekday afternoons.

  ``Why were you working on a Sunday?'' Skye tried to distract May. Chatting about sex aids with her mother was not something she was eager to do.

  ``Pat's grandson was being baptized, and she needed the day off.''

  188 DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 189

  Oops! The issue of babies was another subject Skye at- tempted to avoid discussing with her mother. May's fondest wish was for Skye to marry and produce a few grandchil- dren. As she searched for a safe topic of conversation, Skye centered a plate in front of a chair, aligning the knife and spoon on the paper napkin to the right and the fork to the left.

  But May was too quick for her. ``You know, Pat's daugh- ter is only twenty-four. That's nearly ten years younger than you.'' Apparently May assumed Skye's math skills might not be up to the challenge of subtraction.

  Skye ignored her mother's dig and asked quickly ``Does Wally have any idea who might have broken into the bowl- ing alley Saturday night?''

  ``No.'' May opened the oven door, and the intoxicating scent of freshly baked bread seeped into the room.

  Skye was thankful that the low-carb craze had not reached Scumble River.

  ``He thinks it must be kids.'' May pulled out a tray of Parker House rolls, and set it on a wire rack. ``That woman has been really strict about keeping teenagers out of the bar area of the bowling alley, and one of them is probably mad at her.''

  ``I wish you'd call her Bunny.'' Skye finished setting the table and started putting the food out.

  May sniffed. ``Bunny is not a Christian name.''

  ``And Skye is?''

  ``That's different. Skye is a family name, as you well know, missy.''

  ``Then call her Mrs. Reid.''

  ``No. She hasn't earned that name.'' May shook her head. ``You have to stick around and take care of your husband and children to earn the title of missus.''

  Skye opened her mouth to suggest May call Bunny Ms. Reid, but snapped it shut without speaking. She already knew her mother's opinion of the word miz, and it wasn't positive.

  May looked over the table.

  Skye stood at attention, waiting to be told what she had missed. Her mother tolerated Skye's presence in her kitchen with thinly disguised unease.

  ``You forgot the butter. All you've got out is my Shedd's 190 Denise Swanson Spread. You know your dad won't use anything but the real thing.'' May handed Skye a rectangular dish. ``Let's see: Jed, Vince, and Charlie already have their beer, you have your pop, I'll get me some wine, and we're all set. Call the men into dinner.''

  Skye stepped around the archway that separated the di- nette from the living room and said, ``Come and get it.''

  Charlie Patukas, six feet tall and easily three hundred pounds, was first into the room. In his mid-seventies, he was still mostly muscle, but a small bulge was starting to overhang his belt.

  Although Skye and her brother, Vince, called him ``uncle'', he was really their godfather and a special friend of the family. He sat at the head of the table, the sturdy oak chair groaning under his bulk.

  Next was Skye's father, Jed, several inches shorter than Charlie and about half his weight. He had a farmer's tan with a white band across his forehead where his John Deere cap had protected it from the sun. The rest of his face was leathery from years of working outdoors. He sat at the other end of the table in the chair with a view out the picture window, so he could keep an eye on the crops.

  Finally Skye's brother, Vince, ambled into the dinette and kissed his mother on the cheek before sitting next to Skye. He was far too handsome for his own good. His at- tractiveness to the opposite sex had already gotten him into serious trouble twice; it had gotten him into minor difficult- ies too many times to count.

  Tall, with emerald-green eyes and long butterscotch hair worn in a ponytail, Vince got his tan from the machine at the hair salon he owned rather than from the great outdoors.

  May said the blessing, and then started the platter of roast around the table by handing it to Jed. As the man of the house he got first pick. There was silence as they all filled their plates and started to eat.

  After his initial helping had been devoured, Charlie leaned back, took a long swig of beer, and belched. He patted his belly as if it were a pet he was fond of, then said, ``I had a really striking-looking lady in one of the cabins last night.'' He owned the Up A Lazy River Motor Court--the only place to stay in town. DEAD BLONDES TELL NO TALES 191

  Skye's investigative radar engaged. ``Really? Did she have blond hair and drive a pink car?''

  ``Yeah.'' Charlie's thick white eyebrows flew up until they nearly met the matching hair on his head. ``How did you know?''

  ``Sounds like Bunny's friend Ruby.''

  ``Ruby? I don't think that's the name she registered under.'' Charlie frowned. ``She paid in cash, so I didn't ask to see any ID.''

  Skye buttered a roll. Could there be two platinum blondes in town driving pink vehicles? ``She was tall and statuesque, right?''

  ``Yep. That's her.'' Charlie took the bowl May had handed him, and spooned another pile of mashed potatoes on his plate. ``Fine figure of a woman.''

  ``Wally arrested her this afternoon,'' May announced, a line forming between her eyebrows.

  ``For what?'' Charlie stopped, fork poised midway to his mouth.

  Skye took a drink of her Diet Coke and listened to her mother's version of what had happened.

  May finished with, ``Then she came strutting into the po- lice station, as if she wasn't a wanted fugitive, and de- manded that she see the chief and no else.''

  ``Did you hear what she had to say to Wally?'' Skye had been waiting to ask this question since she heard that her mother had been dispatching that day.

  ``No.'' May took a sip of wine. ``W
ally took her into the interrogation room. He usually keeps the door open if he has a female prisoner so I can testify that no hanky-panky took place, but that woman insisted on closing the door and turning on the radio.'' May stood and started clearing the table. ``I couldn't hear a thing, even with my ear pressed against the door.''

  Skye got up to help. The men stayed seated and waited for dessert to be served. Skye had long ago given up trying to explain the women's movement and equal rights to her family. It might be the twenty-first century in the rest of the country, but in Scumble River they had barely left the nineteenth.