Just Exes

by Charity Ferrell

  I don’t answer.

  “I’ll take your silence as a, Yes, Gage, that’s it.” He starts typing on my phone. “All your parents will know about tonight is that you were too tired to drive home and are crashing at their place.”

  That’s what I should’ve done in the first place. “One problem with that. Where am I supposed to sleep?”

  He doesn’t say anything.

  “Oh no, don’t you think about it, Gage.”

  “You can take the loft above the garage.”

  “Not fucking happening.” A shelter is sounding pretty delightful right about now. “I’m not spending the night with you. I can’t take the chance of you smothering me in my sleep.”

  “How do you know I won’t worry about you driving a stake through my heart again?” He glances back at me. “I’ll sleep in the main house.”

  “Why are you treating me so nice? Is this the whole keep your friends close and your enemies closer type crap?”

  “To be honest, I have no idea.”

  “You have no idea why you’re being nice … or if I’m your enemy?”

  “Both.”

  Memories knot through my thoughts when he pulls into his drive. The ranch home hasn’t changed. My attention goes to the detached garage with the loft above it, which was built when Gage was in middle school. His dad gave him permission to stay in there when he turned sixteen, and it’s where we spent most of our time together.

  Surprisingly, I don’t push him away when he helps me out of the truck, and I don’t give him shit while he helps me up the stairs.

  Endless questions crackle through my inebriated mind.

  Why is he back? Where has he been?

  We’re strangers now.

  I catch the scent of him when we walk in, and I look around when the light flips on. The alcohol has taken its toll on me, and I keep quiet while moving to the couch from my past. Nothing in this room has changed.

  Gage moves in front of me when I collapse onto the couch and holds out his hand. “Your legs not functional enough to walk to the bed?”

  I swat it away. “Under no circumstances am I sleeping in that bed.” It’s where I lost my virginity. “I’ll sleep here.”

  He drops his hand and takes a step back. “The couch it is.”

  A blanket and pillow are tossed to me, and I close my eyes the moment my head hits the pillow. I fake sleep while hearing him move around the loft, and my breathing shudders when I sense his presence next to me.

  I tense when he runs a hand over my cheek.

  “Why did you hurt me?” he whispers. “Why’d you leave?”

  I stay silent and hope he doesn’t notice the goose bumps crawling over my skin, and a tear slips down my cheek when he steps away. The light shuts off, and I drift to sleep.

  Six

  Gage

  If she wakes up, she’ll kick my ass.

  A dim light comes through the blinds. I lean back in the tattered chair that was once my mother’s favorite and feel shame as I watch the woman I love and hate sleep.

  She’s still gorgeous, still my favorite view. Lauren is the only woman I’ve looked at and not seen through. I’ve seen her at her worst—drunk, ridiculous, breaking my heart, in tears—and there hasn’t been one instance when I didn’t think she was breathtakingly beautiful. She consumed me before I hit puberty. Breakup or not, you don’t heal from a love that pure, that real, that deep.

  The attitude, the smart-ass woman I fell in love with, still shines brightly. She’s the same. I’m not. If she knew the torture I’d been through, she’d never look at me the same.

  Years ago, I loved the fact that I was the only man to ever touch and kiss her. Sliding inside her was always a high. I no longer have that privilege. And, as much as I want to convince myself she has never been with another man, I know there’s no way that could be true. She wanted—needed—sex regularly when we were together. My nails sink into the arms of the chair at the thought of it.

  My thoughts are broken when she squirms, kicking off the blanket, and I gulp when her smooth, bare legs go on display as her dress piles up around her waist. Her heels are still on, her hair messier than what it was, and the sight of her black lace panties causes my dick to stir.

  I lick my lips. Damn, I should’ve given her something to change into.

  Not that she would’ve accepted it.

  When I saw her walk across the restaurant in that black number, there was no way I could stay away. The dress was short and showed off her toned legs and plump, perfect ass. I finished my drink before standing and followed her into the hallway, not sure what my plan was when I reached my destination. Pushing her against the wall definitely wasn’t it. Neither was my cock growing hard as a rock or bringing her home with me.

  She receives one last glance, and I pray it’s not the last one I’ll have in a while as I pull myself up from the chair. The sky is dark, the full moon shining bright, when I walk to the main house, kicking my feet against the gravel drive.

  My dad is in the living room, leaning back comfortably in his recliner, and he looks away from the TV at the sound of the door shutting. “I thought you were going out.”

  “I did. And, now, I’m home.”

  He grabs the remote and flips off the TV. “There a reason you’re not sleeping in the loft?”

  “Thought I’d spend some time here tonight. My childhood bedroom, complete with a Ninja Turtles comforter, is calling my name.”

  He nods in understanding and what looks like devastation. “She’s on your mind, isn’t she?” He sighs with sadness in his eyes when he realizes I’m not entertaining the conversation. “You ever think she regrets what she did?”

  I gently knock my knuckles against the wall. “Doesn’t matter anymore. She did what she did, and my life has been hell since. Sure, she might be sorry, but I can’t give her the same man I was in high school.”

  “Care to tell me what happened with you and your arsonist sweetie?” Kyle asks when I walk into the station. “No police report was filed on your behalf.”

  After arresting and dropping off Lauren at her parents’ the other day, I went back and picked up Kyle. He briefly took some bullshit report from the landlord, fully aware I wasn’t going to stick Lauren in jail, and pressed me for details about where my prisoner was. He didn’t get shit.

  I called in the next day, given I had a mild concussion from my father’s roof incident, and yesterday was my night off. He’s had a few days to come up with his interrogation, so it’s going to be a long shift.

  I’m exhausted after last night. This morning, from the kitchen window, I saw an Audi SUV pull into the driveway. Lauren jumped in before I could see the driver. A car that expensive doesn’t frequently roll around our small Iowa town.

  Is she dating a doctor?

  There are so many things I don’t know about her anymore, and I hate it.

  “She swore she didn’t set the apartment on fire.”

  I pour myself another coffee before we get in the cruiser, me in the driver’s side.

  “I know you’re blinded by your dick and all, but you need to take a step back and reflect on how long you’ve been in law enforcement. I didn’t do it, is a criminal’s favorite sentence,” he replies.

  “Not thinking with my dick. I’m thinking with my gut.”

  “That goes down to your dick.”

  Kyle has been my best friend since elementary school. We kept in touch for a few years after I moved to Chicago and then eventually lost contact. I didn’t want any connection with my life in Blue Beech. All it did was remind me of her.

  I came back to town, expecting Kyle to give me the middle finger when I walked into the station looking for a job. Instead, he slapped me on the back and announced I’d be his partner. He hates Lauren just as much as I do, given that he blames her for my fleeing the state.

  “She didn’t do it. If anyone brings her in for questioning, you tell them I’ll do it, you hear me?”

  “Aye
, aye, Lauren lover. Although Douche-Bag Landlord isn’t going to be happy.”

  “He can fuck off.”

  He points his coffee at me. “You’re in trouble, man.”

  I raise a brow.

  “Lauren Barnes was your weakness then, and there’s no doubt she still is.”

  No fucking shit.

  “That’s the past.”

  He nods but doesn’t believe me.

  “So, what’s on the agenda today?” I ask.

  “Don’t anticipate anything crazy happening. Your menacing ex’s apartment going up in flames is the most exciting thing that’s happened this month. This place will have nowhere near the crimes and arrests you had in Chicago.”

  “Less drama is what I need right now.”

  I moved back to clear my head, be with my father, and not have a station filled with my old coworkers giving me pity stares daily.

  “You ready to tell me why you split and transferred?”

  “My dad needed me.”

  “Got that part. Now, you ready to tell me the other reason you came back to a place you swore you’d never step foot into again? If I recall, you said your dad would be moving there when it was time he couldn’t take care of himself.”

  “It would’ve been wrong for me to drag him out of the home he loves.”

  “Mmhmm.” He grins over at me. “Some of us guys are going to Down Home tonight for some darts and beers. You game?”

  I nod. “I could use a drink.”

  The radio calls in and tells us there’s a kid stuck in a tree.

  “I told you,” Kyle says. “Crazy shit happenin’ in this town.”

  There was a minimum of one shooting each shift in Chicago. I witnessed shit I’ll never forget. I lost shit I’d thought I’d never lose.

  The scars are there.

  And I have scars here.

  Two women ruined me.

  One I gave my heart to.

  The other who punished me for it.

  Seven

  Lauren

  I’m struck with a blast of air-conditioning when I climb into the passenger seat of Willow’s luxury SUV. My head throbs, and I use my hand to shield my eyes from the sun’s reminder of the idiotic choices I made last night.

  “Please tell me you have a spare pair of sunglasses.” My plea is wrapped around a groan, and a sigh leaves me when she tosses a pair in my lap. “You’re my favorite person in the world.”

  Willow looks from Gage’s house and then to me as I slide the glasses on. “Morning, sunshine. And whose home is this?”

  The loft was empty when I woke up. The view of Gage’s truck in the driveway sent my anxiety into overdrive. I had to get out of there in case he decided to make a visit and have a conversation about last night. Facing him hungover wasn’t happening.

  Not only was seeing him a problem, but what I felt was, too. I slept better on that old, ratty couch than I had in my own bed. That terrified me.

  My phone on the coffee table reminded me that Gage had never given it back last night. When I grabbed it, I found he’d texted both my mom and Alec, letting them know I’d made it to my destination safely.

  Willow was my first call, and luckily, she was available to save me.

  “A friend’s,” I answer.

  “A friend with a vagina or cock?”

  I was well aware questions would be asked by whoever picked me up this morning. Everyone in my family knows my history with Gage and where he lives. Willow was my safest option. Sure, she’d ask if I had a one-night stand, but she wouldn’t think it was with him.

  Still, a subject change is in order.

  “Thank you for the ride.”

  She shakes her head. “I’ll let you evade that question for now since you look like you were ran over. I owe you for all the trips you made for me back and forth from the airport. Plus, your brother practically kicked me out of the house to have some me-slash-girls’ time. He and Samuel are having a daddy-son day, and Maven is hanging out with your mom at some bake sale.”

  Willow and my oldest brother, Dallas, had a one-night stand nearly a year ago. He was having a hard time with moving on with his life after losing his wife to breast cancer. Somehow, Willow broke through his wall one night. Fast-forward a few months, and Willow was trying to hide her pregnancy from him. Her boss and best friend, Stella, is dating my other brother, Hudson, and he overheard Willow spilling the beans to her.

  Now, Willow and Dallas live together and take care of Samuel, their new baby, and Dallas’s daughter, Maven. Willow was a saving grace to Dallas and our family. She’s cool as hell, so I scooped her up as a best friend.

  “You’re a kick-ass mom,” I say.

  Let’s keep this convo on babies.

  Her lips arch into a smile. “I don’t know how great I’d be without your brother. He’s an amazing father who doesn’t mind changing diapers. I hit the baby-daddy jackpot.”

  Their happiness fills my heart with joy. Our family is tight-knit, and we always look out for one another. If one of us is hurting, we’re all hurting.

  She glances over at me. Her red hair is pulled into a messy bun, and her sunglasses cover nearly half of her pale and freckled face. “So, I have to ask, did you catch our apartment building on fire?”

  “No!” I throw my hands up. “Jesus, how can people even question that?”

  “You can’t blame a girl for asking. If you did, I’d be one pissed chick. Some of my shit was still in there.”

  Willow moved into my building after my brother begged her to move from LA to Blue Beech. She refused to stay at his house until they worked their issues out. After moving in with him, she kept her apartment as a storage unit.

  “Why are you getting blamed?” she asks. “They catch you with a match in your hand?”

  “Ronnie is blaming me for revenge.”

  “Ronnie?”

  “Old Man Willard’s grandson. He inherited the building when Willard died a few months back.”

  “Hold up. Our landlord died?” she chokes out.

  “Uh … yes. You didn’t know?”

  She frowns while shaking her head. “Damn, I feel bad for not going to the funeral.”

  “Don’t. They had it somewhere else. He had no living family in Blue Beech, so his body got shipped to them.”

  “That doesn’t sound morbid or anything. So, why does the grandson want revenge?”

  “For turning him down when he asked me out.”

  “Girlfriend, you need a boyfriend … or at least some dick. Why not take him up on his offer?”

  I grimace. “Gross. I’d rather hire someone to give me the business than screw him. Dude is a creep who wears expensive suits, which he tells me the price of every time we run into each other, and polished shoes daily—in Blue Beech. Now, I normally don’t discriminate against people’s fashion choices, given I sport scrubs almost daily, but a man with a big enough complex and ego who has to show off his money is a hard limit for me.”

  She nods in understanding. “Hurting a man’s ego can be a dangerous thing.”

  That’s no lie.

  “Tell me about it. So, because I don’t want to screw his pretentious, suit-wearing ass, he’s trying to make me out to be some pyro.” My upper lip tightens as I roll my eyes. “Trust me, I would’ve made sure I snagged all my cutest shoes had I caught that place on fire. Oh, and my scrubs because those things aren’t cheap.”

  She laughs and, for the rest of the ride, she listens to me name off the endless number of items I need to replace.

  “You ready to tell me why your car is here?” she asks when pulling into Clayton’s empty parking lot. She parks and presses her hands together in a pleading gesture. “Puh-leeease tell me you had a one-night stand.”

  Now, I know how she felt when I was always nagging her for details about her and my brother. Not fun.

  “Nope,” I answer. “You ruined the idea of a one-night stand for me after you got knocked up from having one with my brother. Lord know
s, my ass does not need to get pregnant.”

  “Eh, I see your point there.” She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth before her lips turn into a bright smile. “Will you at least tell me who took you home?”

  My hangover headache maximizes as I slump in my seat. “Gage is back in town.”

  She gives me a blank look. “Am I supposed to know who Gage is?”

  Willow and I are so close that I forget I haven’t known her my entire life and that she didn’t grow up in Blue Beech. In our small town, I’m known as the lucky girl who dated Gage. And he’s known as the dude who dated me. It’s sad that you’re labeled by your relationship, but it’s the place where sixty percent of the population has married their high school sweetheart.

  “He’s my ex-boyfriend and the reason I haven’t had a relationship in years.”

  Her mouth falls slightly open as a thought hits her. “I’ve always wondered why you don’t date. You’ve been hung up on him.”

  “Negative. I’ve been too busy with my job to be hung up on anyone.”

  Her laugh echoes through her car. “Denial only makes it hotter when you have sex again. Trust me, I know from experience.”

  I wrinkle my nose and shove her side. “Please refrain from talking about having sex with my brother. It’ll make me puke more than this stupid hangover.”

  Willow gives me a loaner bag of clothes before I get out of her car since mine are burned to a crisp, and I’m waiting for my online orders to be delivered to my parents’ house. I kiss her cheek, thank her again, and think about Gage on my ride home.

  I need to find out if he’s home for good.

  If he is, I’m not sure how much pain that’ll put me through.

  My new home search might be out of Blue Beech if that’s the case.

  I throw my arms around the chest of my big brother, Hudson, and squeal. “Happy birthday, you old man, you!”

  Yes, I’m curing my hangover by attending my brother’s birthday party at the Down Home Pub. Even if I do feel like shit, I can’t bail on his party. Down Home Pub is the only place to drink in Blue Beech, so if you’re looking to have a good time, this is where you go. Even though it gives you a comfortable and homey atmosphere, you’ll still always end up running into someone you hate.