Privileged

by J.M. Downey

  Blood trickled from his nose as he lay on the bed, and placed the white nightgown on his bare skin, caressing it. A glass plate lay next to the bed, covered in cocaine. Pages of his Bible lay everywhere. He couldn’t find the peaceful verses. Every one he found convinced him he was on a path to eternal darkness. He couldn’t think about that now. But it gnawed at him, as if begging him to turn, telling him he would only find peace if he gave in. He would if he knew it would last, but this God couldn’t be stronger than the will of his father.

  He closed his eyes and smelled the perfume that always made him think of the sunrise. He took a deep breath, but it didn’t work, a small tear formed in one eye but didn’t fall. He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling. He could still see her scared eyes when he grabbed her. What had he become? But when he was angry he just acted. He took another deep breath. He acted like his father. And when she had ordered him out of the house, he’d tried to scare her into listening. She was his. Why couldn’t she just listen?

  “What do you want?” he whispered to this God. “Could you?” he asked, listening for a voice, anything. Katie always said God spoke to her, but God didn’t speak to him.

  The ringing of his phone faded in and out. How powerful could this God be? Would he even want him? The gnawing grew as the ringing of the phone deepened. What did this God think? A beeping sound replaced the sharp rings. Keith grabbed the phone. “Hey.”

  “I want you back with your wife tomorrow,” his father demanded.

  “I’m working on it.” He clenched his hands.

  “Drag her back.”

  Keith sat up from the bed. “Look, her father has gone all macho. He put a gun to my head. I just can’t grab her.” Mr. Morris’s eyes had looked fierce. A searing pain crossed his heart. He had loved Mr. Morris, but now.... He dug his fingernails into his palms. He had no idea. Katie must have lied because he had never hit her. Why would she do that?

  “Yes you can. Get Sullivan’s help,” his father said, breaking into his thoughts.

  Keith looked up at the wall in front of him and wiped some of the blood away from his nose. “Yeah.” His voice was quiet.

  “And you’re sure no one talked to her?”

  “Who, and what would they have said?”

  “That you killed Hockman.”

  “What?”

  “Someone has leaked to a cop in Seattle, the guy’s sister, that you had something to do with it. They have a witness, but he won’t come forward, and a hair of yours immersed in some documents of Hockman’s.”

  “Yeah, and I have an alibi. How did they get my hair?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “It wasn’t Katie.”

  “It better not have been.”

  Keith lay on the bed, and covered his face with his hand.

  His father continued. “Some cops have been investigating the death. They don’t believe it was a drug overdose anymore. They want to question her soon. We need to get to her first.”

  “Give me until tomorrow night.”

  “D.C.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  Keith hung up the phone. With Sullivan’s help it would be easy. He pressed the fabric of the nightgown against his skin. Tomorrow, she would be in his arms again.

  TWELVE

  The bell over the door jingled. Katie looked up and clutched the magazine she had been reading, as Keith walked into the bookstore with his hands above his shoulders. Why was he back? Why was she surprised? He wouldn’t give up so easily and he looked too much like the past. He wore a Yale sweatshirt and a pair of blue jeans she had bought him, obviously trying to remind her of how things used to be. She shook her head. It wouldn’t work.

  “I’m not going to touch her,” Keith said, his gaze focused on her father who stood holding the gun.

  “What do you want?” Mr. Morris asked.

  He turned back to her; his shoulders slumped and eyes downcast as if knew he had been defeated. “Katie, I’ll make a deal with you. Just talk to me. We’ll both be calm. But I need to know what’s wrong. Do that, and I’ll go back to New York. I promise.”

  “What do you have to say?” she said, squeezing the magazine tighter.

  “Can we talk alone?”

  Katie looked at her father who shook his head. Keith stepped closer to the counter but then stopped when Mr. Morris pointed the gun straight at him. His face seemed so downcast, no confidence in his eyes. Where was the anger? Did he realize he had lost her?

  “Katie, look we’ll talk in plain view of everybody, but I want us to talk freely.”

  Katie looked back at Keith, and lost her breath. His blue eyes were filled with a look of longing. He was so beautiful, so masterfully made. If only…. She shook her head. Don’t go there. “We’ll talk at the Commons,” she whispered.

  “Katie?” her father said.

  A lightness burned in Keith’s eyes. She looked away, as a warmness spread through her. “We’ll talk at the fountain. Daddy you can sit on the bench.”

  Keith sat on the edge of the fountain with his hands buried deep into his hair, when Katie and her father approached. He looked so dejected, so alone, just like when she first saw him at the beach. Her heart cried out to him. Katie turned to look at her father; tears brimmed in her eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders and squeezed them. “Be strong, baby, and don’t give in.”

  Katie nodded and walked to Keith. He didn’t look up until she was right in front of him.

  “Hey,” he said as she sat by him.

  “Hi.”

  “You look nice.”

  Katie concentrated on her father whose gaze wouldn’t leave them. “Keith, I.…” She paused and closed her eyes as tears swelled in them.

  “We can make it work.” He placed his hand on hers. She felt a shock at the gentle touch. Be strong. It will only get worse if you stay with him. She slid her hand from his fingers.

  “I love you, and I know I’ve made mistakes, and I…”

  Her eyes popped open. The tenderness left her. “I don’t believe you anymore.”

  He shook his head. “I.…”

  “It was all lies!”

  “No… It… I.” Keith raised his hands to his chest. “Katie.”

  “From the beginning. Everything you told me.”

  The longing disappeared from his eyes, and the same glare of his father replaced it. “What was?”

  She looked back at her father.

  “Katie, I don’t want to fight.” He tried to make his voice sound calm, but there was a sharpness in it.

  She jumped to her feet and peered down at him. “I do. You know why because I can now say what I’ve been thinking.”

  “And what is that?” He bent his head to the side. His right top lip curling in a snarl.

  “You know why I didn’t tell you about the baby? Because I didn’t want to have your child. I hated it from the moment I found out.”

  Keith clenched the top of the fountain. “Anything else?”

  She bent towards his face. “You made me hate you.”

  He jumped to his feet, and glared down into her eyes. “Then I can make you love me again.”

  She shook her head. “Go back to New York.” She turned around and walked away.

  “Katie,” he shouted, but she went back to her father who wrapped an arm around her and led her away.

  Keith watched her until she disappeared from his view. He then walked to his car, got in it, and adjusted the mirror, so he could see Sullivan in the back seat. “Is it all planned out?” he asked.

  Sullivan nodded.

  “Good.” Keith turned on the car and drove off back to the hotel. By the end of tonight, she’d be his again.

  Katie laid her head on Keith’s bare chest and caressed the soft skin of his rippling abs. They had just made love, a new promise, a new life together and perhaps a new life would form in her womb. He smiled and said that God had changed him - he was a new creature, complete in Him. She scratched her face as
something tickled her. Keith’s lips ran along her neck, sending tingles through her. Every part of her filled with the intense pleasure only he could produce in her. Something pressed against her skin, making her eyes pop opened.

  She quickly sat up. At her side sat Keith with her father’s shotgun on his lap. His face void of all emotion except for the darkness in his eyes.

  “Daddy,” she screamed out.

  “Don’t wake him.”

  She looked at her sister who hadn’t even moved. She turned back to him. “What have you done?”

  “They’re just sleeping.”

  “You drugged them.”

  Keith smirked.

  A rattling feeling spread through her as he stood and placed the shotgun next to her father. He then placed a note on the nightstand before holding out a hand for her. “Let’s go.”

  Katie shook her head and squeezed the sheets on the bed, leaning back. Keith grabbed her arms, yanking her off the bed, making her feet crash on the hard floor. Holding one hand, he dragged her to the bedroom door, her feet stumbling after him. She couldn’t let him take her out of the house. She had to fight.

  Katie tugged on her arm while trying to anchor her feet on the floor. “Let go of me,” she screamed. But her feet slid forward, her socks providing no traction. As they passed the dresser, Katie snatched off a book, raising it to his head.

  Keith spun around and smacked her to the floor – her body slamming hard on the cold wood. Katie screamed, shielding her cheek with her hand as a sharp sting covered her face – pain searing through her as every part of her went numb and the world around her darkened.

  “Want to keep fighting me?” he demanded, balling his hands into fists. “Huh?”

  Keith swept her in his arms and carried her out to his car, placing her in the front seat. He slammed the door.

  Katie curled into a ball and buried her face in her knees -- her face burned, and she could feel each imprint of his fingers. He had crossed that line.

  Keith slipped into the seat next to her and pulled her left hand from her face, pushing her rings on her finger. He then threw her hand back towards her. “Don’t ever take them off again.”

  “You hit me,” she whispered.

  “Shut up!” He clenched the steering wheel.

  “They’ll know I’m gone and.…”

  “That’s why you left them a note.”

  “They know my handwriting,” she screamed as her body began shaking.

  “So do other people.”

  She grabbed the door handle and pulled at it but it wouldn’t open.

  “I love this car,” he said.

  Tears poured down her face. “You’re kidnapping me.”

  “Just taking back what’s mine.”

  Katie curled into a ball again and looked out the window as the neighborhood blurred past her. She closed her eyes and recited some childhood prayers to herself, but the shaking wouldn’t stop.

  After a while, Keith opened his cell phone, and told his father that he had her, and they were on their way to D.C.. They talked for a couple more minutes, and then he hung up the phone.

  Keith rested his head on his hand against the window. There was no peace in his eyes, just the harsh anger she had come to recognize.

  She turned back to the window. The road disappeared in front of her as she caressed her cheek. They didn’t speak at all during the five-hour drive to D.C.. When they arrived, he pulled up to the back of the White House. She looked up at the building she had frequently been in since her marriage, but now the whiteness of it held a daunting touch. He parked in the garage, and got out of the car. She focused on the dashboard as he opened the door, and held out his hand for her.

  “Come on, Katie,” he said, making her flinch.

  Katie took his hand and stepped out of the car. Her feet chilled on the pavement. She wrapped her free arm around herself. She was still in her pajamas, a pair of white shorts, and a t-shirt and the air chilled her to the bone. She shook her head. Keith swept her up into his arms and carried her to a door.

  A man in a black suit opened the door. Keith walked in and dropped her feet first on the floor; grabbing her hand, he led her to an office. He opened the door, revealing his father looking out a window, and Arther sitting on his desk, grasping a few manila folders.

  “She doesn’t know anything. I asked her,” Keith said.

  Why did he say that?

  Mr. Wilkerson turned and walked over to Katie, holding his hand out to her. Katie took a step back and turned for the door, but Keith grabbed her and spun her around so she faced his father. Every inch of her trembled. Something was going on. There had to be more than her just leaving.

  Mr. Wilkerson reached for her arm and tugged her close to him, making her ram into his chest. He didn’t appear to notice the tears that fell as he placed two hands firmly on her cheeks, and raised her eyes to his.

  “Look at my eyes,” he said.

  Katie concentrated on the glare.

  “Who is Josh Hockman?”

  That name sounded familiar, but she couldn’t place it. Who could he have been?

  “Katie?”

  “Sir, I don’t remember.”

  “You don’t,” he said in a soft voice.

  “No.”

  He squeezed her head. Pain filled her. She gripped his hands as the hair on the back of her neck tingled.

  “Did anybody ask you for anything of Keith’s, such as a hair.”

  “No, sir.”

  Mr. Wilkerson studied her eyes before he dropped his hands from Katie’s face and sat back in his chair, folding his hands in his lap. “She’s not lying. I don’t know who did it now. Everybody close to him didn’t give it.”

  “I told you.” Keith wrapped his arms around Katie’s waist and pulled her close to him.

  “What is going on?” she whispered.

  “Tomorrow, we’ll go to Seattle, and we’ll let them talk to her and Keith.”

  “About what?” Katie asked.

  Mr. Wilkerson sliced a hand through the air. “You know nothing, that’s all you need to say.”

  “And if they ask why she took off?” Keith asked.

  “Katie will say, that’s personal and has nothing to do with Hockman.” He paused and glared at her. “Do you understand me?” Mr. Wilkerson shouted.

  Katie jumped back against Keith.

  “Take her away.” He waved them off.

  Keith dragged Katie out the door and into a bedroom with one king size bed draped in white silk sheets. Katie rubbed her shoulders as a shiver filled her. Tonight she’d be laid out on that altar for his lustful greed. He opened a suitcase, and picked up her white nightgown, handing it to her. And here was her sacrificial gown. Tears brimmed in her eyes. How could he expect her to slip back into the role he had designed for her?

  “Please, Katie.” His eyes were soft - the Jekyll replacing the Hyde.

  Katie took it from his hands, and slipped out of what she was wearing and put it on. Keith removed the suitcase from the bed, and held out his hand for her. She walked closer to him, and he pulled her down on top of him as he lay on the bed - the touch of his solid body under hers sent prickles through her. Keith caressed her back with his fingertips, ruffling the gown, and his other hand immersed itself in her hair.

  “Go to sleep, my love, you are safe,” he whispered.

  Katie closed her eyes, but her pulse poured through her. He had won. Never would she be free.

  THIRTEEN

  The Wilkersons flew on a private jet to Seattle, and Katie found herself, staying in the same hotel room from before. Keith was next door with his father, and she was locked in. She lay on the bed. If she just had a phone, so she could call her parents, just to see how they were. She had pleaded but Keith wouldn’t let her.

  She sat up when Keith walked in and took off his coat and tie, dropping them on the floor. Katie brought her knees to her chest as he sat on the bed and lay down so his head rested at her feet.
His eyes fixed on the ceiling, and didn’t move even when she crawled over to him. Why did his deep blue eyes flicker with anger?

  “Would you please tell me what is going on?” she asked.

  He lowered his eyes so they looked into hers. Keith placed a hand behind her head and brought her lips to his. He kissed her and then let go of her head and sat up.

  “You would have let me go, if this Hockman thing wasn’t happening,” she said.

  “I still would have come for you.”

  Katie folded her hands in her lap; she had hoped he would have said yes. A yes would have given her some hope for his soul - but now she realized his was just as black as the man who sired him. She never had a chance to help him change. Katie wiped a tear from her eye and looked at the ceiling. There was only one hope for her, although He probably wouldn’t listen. She had long tossed away any right to seek His help. Please, change him. Please. If God only would then she might have a chance, but Keith seemed far too gone for the Lord to be able to save him. No, not even God could change a man like him.

  “Can I please call my parents? I promise I’ll tell them I came back.”

  “They’re here.”

  “They are?” Katie gripped her hands together as a chill raced through her. Her family had walked into the lion’s den.

  “Apparently, the cops wanted to talk to them.”

  “Please, Keith, they don’t know anything.”

  He shook his head.

  Katie’s eyes filled with tears. Would she ever see them again? Her family was the most important part of her life on earth.

  “What did you tell them about me?” His fingers dug deep into the sheets.

  “Tell me what’s going on.”

  Keith spun around and threw her on the bed, pinning her as he glared into her eyes. “Did you tell them I hit you?”

  “No.” She shook her head, her curls half covering her eyes.

  “What did you tell them?”

  “Nothing.”

  “What did Shelly say?”

  Katie swallowed hard. Shelly probably had told them the truth - outlining how he had locked them in a room, while he threw things at the door.

  In a quieter and lower tone, he said, “I know what she said.” He sat up. “I read her testimony to the cops.”