“Okay, let me think,” I said before launching into the only story I could think of in that moment – the one about a beautiful princess named Emily who no longer wanted me to be her prince.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Emily
“You’re completely depressed. Why are you even going?” Rachel asked from where she sat on my bed, painting her fingernails navy blue.
I was sweeping my mascara wand over my lashes a few more times until they felt sufficiently coated. I turned to face her. “Because I am a glutton for punishment.”
She rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic. You got to wallow over Zack for months. You don’t get to do it again, because quite honestly, I think you could have had him. From what you said, he was interested in you, and you’re the one who changed her mind.”
“You have no way of knowing that. Besides, he’s a liar. Because of that, I can’t be with him, even if he did want me, and it makes me sad. I’m wallowing.”
“So why are you going to Winter Formal?”
“Because Toby asked me, and he’s kind of cute in a Joaquin Phoenix kind of way, and I need to get back out there and date.”
“Ben asked you,” Rachel reminded me, “and you told him you weren’t going.”
I shook my head in frustration. Ben had been attempting to suffocate me ever since we’d gotten home from Thanksgiving two weeks earlier. I’d seen him a few times, but I was trying to put some distance between us. He’d asked me to my own formal, which seemed a little odd, and I’d told him I wasn’t going. Then yesterday when we were in the library, Toby Zyler, a ZBT who I was partnered with in my PR Strategies class asked me if I was going to formal.
I think he was just making conversation, but I’d told him no, and then I think I probably got a little teary-eyed because the next thing I knew he was hugging me, and I was blubbering about getting my heart broken, and I think he thought I meant because of Ben, so he offered to take me to formal, and I’d agreed. I then realized that Toby had a bit of a crush on me, because he got really excited, and I couldn’t bring myself to back out, so yeah, now I was going to my formal with a shy, but sweet, wavy-haired boy from class.
“You could come with us to the Liar’s Edge show,” Rachel said, and I just glared at her.
“Not happening.”
Liar’s Edge was playing at Devil’s Hangout, and Rachel was going with Cassie. It was the show I’d originally planned to go to, and a part of me knew I was going to formal so I wouldn’t be tempted to end up at the bar, but I just couldn’t see Zack again.
“Well, you look–”
“Don’t say I look like a princess,” I warned, holding my finger up to stop her. In years past I would have welcomed the compliment, but now it just felt wrong.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Rachel said, as she got up from my bed. She kissed me on the cheek as she walked past me and grinned. “I was going to say you look beautiful, hot and sexy. I hope Toby helps you get over Zack.”
“Me too,” I said, knowing it wasn’t going to happen.
***
“Ben, what are you doing here?” I asked, cornering him by the bar.
His back was to me, and he hadn’t seen me yet. I’d been taking a picture with Taryn, Carrie, Brittany and our dates and had noticed him walk into the ballroom. Now he was at the bar ordering a beer. I swear if he came to my formal to try to convince me to be his girlfriend, I was going to lose it. But what was strange is, he didn’t know I would be there.
Ben spun around as if he’d been shocked. “Emily,” he said, and I could hear the panic in his voice. He suddenly got all darty-eyed, as if he was afraid someone would see us talking, but then his eyes narrowed, and he glared at me.
“You lied to me,” he simply said.
I swallowed hard. “No, I didn’t. When you asked if I was going to formal, I wasn’t, and then Toby asked me, and I decided to go.”
“Whatever,” Ben said, taking a sip of the beer the bartender had handed him. “I’m sick of this anyway.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m sick of you lying to me,” he said, shaking his head.
“Ben, I said I was sorry, but I told you I didn’t want to be exclusive. You knew that. You shouldn’t have just expected I would bring you to my formal. What are you doing here anyway?”
“You really can’t have any less respect for me, can you?” he asked, throwing me off guard and dodging my question.
“What? No, Ben, that doesn’t have anything to do with it.”
“I know you went out to see some band while we were home over Thanksgiving – the night you cancelled our plans and told me you had to stay with Rachel because she and Chase were fighting, and then you were with Chase and Rachel at Static, and they seemed to be getting along great. Then you left with some guy in a black F150. Eric saw you. You lied to me when you cancelled our plans, and that was a shitty thing to do, especially because you did it so you could hang out with another guy. I don’t care how much you don’t want to be exclusive, I deserve more from you. I would think our history alone would dictate that, but I guess not.”
I looked up at him knowing there was no way out of this situation. “I sorry. I know. I suck.”
“Why?” he asked, his voice hard. “What did I do to deserve this from you?”
“I’m sorry,” I said again, knowing that it wouldn’t help. “I’m sorry Ben. You didn’t deserve any of this, please know that.”
“Who’s the guy?”
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the backlash that would ensue when I told him, and then I chickened out. “I’m sorry I did it. Really, I am,” I said instead.
“Who’s the guy?” Ben asked again, this time through gritted teeth.
I swallowed. “Zack.”
Ben threw his hands up in the air. “The guy from the beach. Great. That’s just great. What the hell is he doing here? I thought he lived somewhere else. What are you doing talking to him, huh? After everything he put you through, why does he deserve to talk to you again?”
“I can’t help the way I feel about him!” I said, louder than I intended. “I’m sorry that I fell in love with him, Ben. I’m sorry that I never really got over him, but I can’t help any of it. I feel the way I feel, but it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does,” Ben said then, not getting it.
“No, it doesn’t,” I said sadly, wishing things were different. “It’s over between us.”
I expected Ben to hug me and tell me that I was a great girl and Zack was a fool for not wanting me, but that was a stupid thing to assume. Ben was hurt. He wasn’t going to console me over another guy.
“Get over yourself, Emily. He hurt you once. He left you. What made you think he wasn’t going to do it again.”
I sucked in a breath at the harshness of his words. “He didn’t leave me. I walked out on him this time,” I said, regretting the words as soon as they were out of my mouth.
Ben laughed. “Then you’re on your own, sweetie,” he said bitterly. “Good luck to you. Wow, I can’t believe how stupid I was to think I had a fighting chance with you. I can’t believe I let this drag on this long. You never loved me did you?”
I felt my face fall. “Ben, no, please don’t think that. You were my first serious boyfriend. Of course I loved you,” I said, hoping he believed me, because I wasn’t lying. I just wasn’t in love with him anymore.
He shook his head. “Emily, I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be your crutch anymore. You broke up with me a long time ago, and I was an idiot to think that we could ever get back to who we were. I was going to tell you the next time we saw each other, but you’ve been avoiding me, so I guess I can just tell you now. I’m seeing someone else, and I think I just want to see her.”
It took me a minute to remember where we were, and that since we were at my sorority formal, he was obviously seeing one of my sisters. Great.
I didn’t say anything, but the look on my face tol
d him I was waiting for him to explain. My blood started to run cold when Brynn walked up to us and tucked her arm around Ben’s elbow.
“There you are,” she said, smiling her snake-like smile at him.
Her long brown hair was pulled into a low ponytail that cascaded over her right shoulder in waves, just hitting the top of her ice blue strapless, floor-length dress. She looked gorgeous and perfect and sophisticated, just like someone who would make great arm candy standing next to a future CEO.
Ben pulled away and looked at her, then at me, and Brynn finally made eye contact with me. “Oh, Emily. You look really pretty tonight,” she said, fingering the pearls she wore around her neck, and I knew she was patronizing me.
I was wearing a short black satin dress and silver spiked heels. I thought I looked hot, but my outfit was definitely more appropriate for a red carpet than it was for a sorority formal, especially when your sorority was known for sweet girls in pearls. If I had a rock star on my arm, I might not look so out of place, but alas, Zack wasn’t here.
No, I admonished myself. I would not think of Zack.
“Um, hey babe?” Ben said then, and both Brynn and I answered him. When he looked over at me, shifting his gaze from her, I knew his address had not been meant for me. He turned back to her. “Can you give us a few minutes?”
“Can we take a picture first?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him. “The photographer is leaving soon.”
Ben glanced at me hesitantly and then back at her. “Sure,” he sighed.
“I’ll be here,” I said flatly, turning to the bartender. “Dirty Martini, please.”
I shifted to lean on the bar, facing the room and watched as Ben guided Brynn, his hand on her lower back, to the photographer in the corner.
Dylan Pierce smiled at me as she ordered a glass of chardonnay from the bartender. When he handed it to her, she turned and leaned on the bar next to me, facing the same direction, so she too could survey the room. I was already halfway done with my drink. My eyes hadn’t left Ben and Brynn.
“So I guess you finally know,” Dylan said to me.
“Excuse me?” I asked, turning toward her.
She gestured with her wine glass. “Ben and Brynn.”
“Know what?”
“They’re together,” Dylan said pointedly, as she gestured again. This time Ben was smiling as he kissed Brynn, and she giggled.
Yup, they were together, and I’m not going to lie. It made me a little jealous. I felt a tight knot form in my stomach. I hadn’t seen Ben and Ashleigh together, except for the one kiss, but this was different. He wasn’t just hooking up with Brynn. He liked her. I knew the look he was giving her all too well.
“How long have they been seeing each other?” I asked, knowing that as one of Brynn’s best friends, Dylan would have the inside scoop.
Up until a few days before, Ben had been focused on begging me back, but somewhere in the time since we’d last slept together and now, he’d found himself a new girlfriend.
“Off and on since you guys broke up,” Dylan said, and that surprised me.
“Really?”
“Yeah. He came back to school for football and they hung out a few times. It was just casual, but I think she was hoping for something more after all this time.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, and Dylan’s mouth twitched, as if she’d revealed something she shouldn’t have.
“I, um, I just mean that Ben was finally single. I don’t know if you know this, but Brynn’s sort of had a crush on him for a while,” she said quickly, and I fought the urge to pummel her with questions and accusations. I’d save those for Ben.
“Really?” I asked, acting floored by this knowledge.
Dylan nodded. “Yeah, it’s sort of why she’s always hated you.”
Yeah, that made total sense.
“Awesome,” I said flatly, so glad that my ex-boyfriend had decide to smack me in the face with his new girlfriend at my Winter Formal.
I wondered if Brynn knew that Ben and I had been sleeping together for the past month. She probably did, which is why she was gloating now. If they’d made it official and were together, she knew Ben was done with me. Well, I guess I was better off anyway. I hadn’t wanted anything serious with him, and it was good that he finally realized it. Now I didn’t have to feel guilty every time he told me he loved me and I couldn’t reciprocate, but something still didn’t sit right with me. And I suddenly knew why that was.
Next to me Dylan drained her wine glass and waved at Jordan Nash who was across the room. “Have fun,” she told me before she left to join Jordan on the dance floor.
“One more, please?” I said, turning to the bartender.
I suddenly felt like numbing my pain, and there was one surefire way to do that. By the time Ben came back over to me, I had a big fake smile plastered on my face and a fresh drink in my hand, having downed the second one the bartender made for me as soon as I had it in my hand. I had a nice buzz going.
“Do you want to go somewhere to talk?” Ben asked.
I shrugged. “Here’s fine,” I said with false cheer. “Tom here has been looking out for me, and I sort of want to stay close to him.”
“Okay,” Ben said, eyeing Tom warily.
“So you and Brynn,” I said, and Ben just stared at his shoes. “Come on Ben, we’re adults here. You have a new girlfriend. That’s great.”
“Yeah, well. You know.”
“Sure, sure,” I said, really laying it on thick. “Dylan told me all about you guys, and frankly, I’m happy for you.”
“You are?” Ben asked, his head snapping up.
“Oh yeah. Absolutely. She’s a great girl. So sweet. You guys will be great together.”
“I guess,” Ben said hesitantly, eyeing me like he wasn’t sure what angle I was playing at.
“Hey, and now I don’t have to feel so guilty,” I said, hoping he would play right into my hand.
“Yeah,” he said, laughing a non-humorous laugh. “You can let yourself off the hook. You don’t have to pretend like you want to be with me. I’ll leave you alone.” He shook his head.
“Oh, but Ben, that’s not what I’m talking about,” I said, draining my drink. Tom had another one ready for me on the bar, so I picked it up and took a big sip.
“What are you talking about?” he asked slowly, and I think he finally caught on to what I’d learned.
“Now I don’t have to feel guilty for cheating on you,” I said. “Because you cheated on me first.”
All the color drained from Ben’s face, but he tried to cover up the truth. He should have known I’d be able to read him after five years.
“No, I didn’t,” he said, doing that fake laugh he did whenever he lied.
“Oh, but you did. Dylan told me all about it,” I lied, knowing I’d caught him. Now I just needed him to confirm the truth.
“Em, I’m sorry,” he said in a rush. “I didn’t mean for it to happen. She just attacked me at a party, and nothing else happened. I swear.”
I laughed out loud. “Raise your hand if that story sounds all too familiar. Nice try, Ben. You already used that excuse when you were making out with Ashleigh last summer.”
“Hey, that was the truth,” he said, pointing his finger as if to punctuate his point.
“And what you just told me wasn’t the truth?” Oh, I so had him.
“No, no. Seriously, I was drunk and had been partying kind of hard because we’d won that night, and Brynn was there, and she kissed me. Then things sort of got out of hand, but it was just that one time, and we didn’t have sex.”
“What are you talking about?” I asked, picking up on the time of year he was referring to.
Ben started. “Wait, what are you talking about?”
“This summer,” I said pointedly. Dylan had mentioned Ben and Brynn had hooked up when he’d come back to school, but we’d been together for the first two weeks he’d been back, so I knew there was a good chance he’d chea
ted on me with her.
“Oh,” Ben said, his face falling, and I suddenly realized that I was right. “You know about that?”
“I do now,” I said through gritted teeth, even though I didn’t know shit. “But I’d like to hear it from you. I think you owe me that much after everything we’ve been through.”
Ben sighed. “Em, this isn’t the time or place. Can’t we just admit that we both cheated and move on?”
I narrowed my eyes and shoved him hard against his chest. “You fucking bastard,” I hissed. “I cheated on you, yes, and that was really crappy, but I at least had the courtesy to break up with you the next morning, and then I even stayed on the phone with you for two hours so we could talk about what I’d done while you called me a whore and a slut. But you apparently had an ongoing affair with one of my sorority sisters and have the nerve to ask if we can just move on?! Are you joking?”
“No,” Ben said, looking away.
“So, just tell me,” I said, hands on my hips. “How many times did you and Brynn actually sleep together behind my back? Twice?”
Ben eyebrows knitted together. “It was just once, this summer, and you broke up with me the following week. It was stupid, but it was the only time. I didn’t have an ongoing affair with her.”
“Come on, Ben. Don’t lie to me. That couldn’t have been the only time. You said something about partying after a football game. I’m not stupid.”
Ben kept shrinking away from me as I stepped toward him, backing him up against the wall of the ballroom. “It was the only time, and it didn’t mean anything. I didn’t love her. I loved you.”
“Ben, don’t forget about Spring Break,” Brynn said coyly, having come up behind me.
I spun around to face her.
“Shut up, Brynn,” Ben said from behind me, but we both ignored him.
“You were out of town, and he was frustrated, so I helped him out,” she said, smirking widely. “That was a great week. Thanks for taking that trip.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked her, and she shook her head.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 50