“No, I’m not,” she said, her voice full of false remorse.
“We did not sleep together over Spring Break,” Ben said, stepping between us. “Brynn, tell her we didn’t sleep together.” He was pleading with her.
“We didn’t technically sleep together over Spring Break or last fall,” Brynn said, “but I’d consider what we did as sex.”
“It was not,” Ben protested, and his voice got really high-pitched.
“Was any part of you inside her at any point?” I asked, turning to Ben. He just looked at his shoes.
I stared at him for a few seconds, but he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. I took that as my answer.
“I thought so,” I said, shaking my head a few times.
It was just like over the summer when I’d gone up against Ashleigh. He was shirking away from the situation, and I was fighting for us. But I didn’t really feel like fighting anymore. He’d cheated on me for months, whether he thought it was cheating or not, and then had the audacity to get mad at me for doing it once. Granted, there was something fundamentally wrong with our relationship if both of us ended up cheating, but he was a giant hypocrite. And I was just done.
I felt betrayed, and even though I’d fallen out of love with him a long time ago, I’d respected him up until a few minutes ago. I could have lived with him wanting to date Brynn. It wasn’t cool, but I didn’t care that much. But the fact that he’d betrayed me over and over again made me feel sick. I’d had it so ingrained in my brain that he’d never cheat on me that I hated myself for what I’d done with Zack. Now I knew that what I’d done had been nothing. At least I’d had the decency to end things with him as soon as I could. Ben was an asshole.
“Brynn, you’re pathetic, and if you think he’s not going to cheat on you down the road, you’re delusional. Ben, screw you. Just screw you,” I said, turning on my heel. I had no other words for either of them at that point.
I didn’t give either of them another glance or a chance to respond before I stormed out of the ballroom and headed to the hotel bar. Toby, having witnessed the tail-end of my encounter with Ben and Brynn, sidled up next to me as I was placing my order for two tequila shots.
“Make that four,” he said to the bartender as he sat down beside me.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Zack
I was letting myself out of Jen’s apartment when a cab pulled up in front of the building. I stopped short as Emily stumbled out in a pair of the sexiest heels I’ve ever seen. She giggled once, turned back to whoever was in the cab and said “Goodnight.” Then she blew a kiss, and I knew it was another guy.
My shoulders slumped involuntarily, and I wished again that Jen didn’t live downstairs from her. I didn’t want to know she was seeing other guys.
“Well, well, well,” she said, having spotted me. “If it isn’t Zack Easton, lead singer of Liar’s Edge and the guy who lies about everything! How ironic!”
I didn’t say anything as she approached me, teetering on heels that made her inches taller. Her legs looked amazing, and I couldn’t stop wondering what they would feel like wrapped around me again. My mind flitted back to the time she’d worn that incredibly sexy leather skirt and we’d ended up having sex in the ocean, her legs wrapped around my waist. I almost had to shake my head to bring myself back to the present where a very angry version of the same girl was glaring at me.
“Where have you been tonight, Zack? Huh? Been spending some time with your daughter?” she asked, sneering at me. “I thought you had a show tonight? Did you bail? You like to do that too.”
“Lily’s sick,” I said, pacifying her with a response, even though I despised her tone. “I came over to check on her after the show.”
“Yeah, you did,” Emily said haughtily, as she swayed back and forth. “That’s really nice of you. I can actually tell you played tonight. Do you know how I can tell? Do you? Because you look all hot and sexy and rock star-ish like you do every time you play. And your hair is disheveled and sexy, and that’s how you look after you play, because it always falls sexily over your forehead when you look at your guitar, and it is hot!”
I couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto my face. She thought I looked hot. She thought I was sexy. She was drunk and probably not in her right mind, but she was being honest. That much I knew.
“Oh, no,” she said, stepping closer to me and putting her finger up to my face. “No, you do not get to smile at that, mister. I will not allow it.”
“Had a little to drink tonight, princess?” I asked, knowing that would really set her off.
She was really hot when she was mad. I’d never seen her like this before. It was actually turning me on, especially because she looked like a hot rocker chick. Part of me wanted to pull her into my arms and have my way with her, but she kept her distance, so I knew I couldn’t do that.
Her eyes narrowed to slits. “You do not get to call me that anymore!” she declared, her finger, still inches from my nose, emphasizing her point. “I am not a princess. It’s just like they say in that Maroon 5 song – ‘fairytales are full of shit’ – and they are stupid, and so are you. I am not your princess. I’m not anyone’s princess!”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I said, knowing she’d never hear me out. She was too drunk, and she probably wouldn’t even remember what I was telling her, but I had to say it. “Emily, you have been my princess since the moment I met you. I just didn’t realize it at the time.”
“Ughh!” she said, stomping her foot in frustration. “I can’t even handle you right now, Zack Easton. I can’t handle you. Just get–”
Before she could continue her rant, she stumbled forward and ended up right where I wanted her – in my arms.
“Hey,” I said, looking down at her, my arms holding her up. She was looking right back at me, her full pink lips so close to mine.
“God you’re beautiful,” she murmured just before she kissed me.
It had been so long since I’d felt her lips against mine, but in an instant it was as if we hadn’t spent any time apart. It was like coming home again, and I hungrily kissed her back, pulling her body flush against mine wishing she’d let me have more, wanting her to do what she’d done that summer and pull me into her bedroom so we could shut out the world and just be together.
It had been a shitty night. Derrick hadn’t played well due to a hangover, Andrew had screwed up Glimpse. And I’d been distracted knowing Lily was sick and I couldn’t be with her. Being with Emily just might be the thing to turn my night around.
She’d run from me before, though, and she wasn’t happy to see me, so it stood to reason that she’d run again. I knew I’d screwed up, but all I wanted was to make it up to her. I wanted to make things right between us, and I was hoping she’d let me.
But all too soon she pulled away.
“I hate that you’re a good kisser,” she said to me as she stepped back out of my arms. Cold air rushed over the warmth her body had created when it had been pressed against mine. “I hate that you live here, and that you spend time at Jen’s, and that you’re in a stupid band that I love but can’t go see anymore, because I don’t want to run into you. I just – I think I just hate you.”
With that she turned and stalked off, her tiny purse swinging at her side as she left me standing on the sidewalk wanting her more than I ever had and sick with the knowledge that what I’d done had made her hate me.
Chapter Thirty
Emily
After throwing up most of the night, I slept most of the next day. My mind reeled, and images from the night before flashed in my brain, mixing with dreams. I relived what I’d learned about Ben, then I had a dream that I’d been yelling at Zack. Then I remembered seeing Ben and Brynn make-out across the ballroom. I recalled taking shot after shot of tequila at the hotel bar with Toby and sharing a cab home. Then I had an amazing dream that started with me kissing Zack outside of my apartment before I dragged him upstairs where things turned s
lightly erotic. It was a good dream, and despite my hung over state, I woke up smiling. Apparently my dreaming mind forgot that I sort of disliked him.
I’d been up for a few hours replaying the events of the night before in my head since Rachel wasn’t home, and she wasn’t answering her cell phone. I’d have to wait until she got home from wherever she’d gone to sound off to her about all the things I’d learned about my sham of a relationship with Ben. But I was restless in the apartment alone, so I decided to take a walk, hoping the frigid cold would help bring some clarity.
When I ended up at Starbucks, my head had cleared considerably, so I decided to sit inside and warm up for a few minutes. As I was ordering my drink, I looked over and saw Zack, of all people, sitting in one of the comfy armchairs in the corner writing in a notebook. My stomach flipped as memories from my dream came back to me in full force, and I felt my cheeks heat. I had to remind myself it had been two weeks since I’d seen him and not twelve hours. And it was just a dream.
When I got my drink, I walked over to him, conjuring up as much confidence as I could. I felt bad about taking off on him with no explanation after we’d gotten coffee, so I figured the least I could do was be polite and say hello. My stomach twitched as I watched him, his hair falling into his eyes as he scribbled furiously in his notebook. I had to remind myself that I was the only one aware of the impure thoughts I’d had of him just hours earlier. He had no idea what I’d been doing to him in my mind. I had nothing to be worried about.
“Writing some new lyrics?” I asked, smiling a warm smile at him as his head jerked up in surprise. He quickly flipped his notebook over on his lap, so I couldn’t see what he’d written.
“Hey,” he said tentatively when he saw me standing over him.
He laid his notebook on the arm of the chair and appraised me, as if waiting for me to make the first move. And I guess he had every right. I was the one who’d bolted on him over Thanksgiving. He’d tried to extend an olive branch, and I’d pushed him away.
“I’m sorry about taking off on you,” I said.
He looked at me quizzically. “Don’t worry about it,” he said, smiling a small smile, as if waiting for me to go on.
I wasn’t sure what else he wanted me to say, so I just stared at him for a few seconds. His hair fell over his forehead in that perfect way it always did, just hitting the top of his eyebrows, and his eyebrow ring glinted in the light from the lamp on the table next to him. His light brown eyes looked both thoughtful and amused, and his full lips twitched as if he wanted to say something else.
Finally he said, “I thought you hated me.”
Okay, so that was a little dramatic, but maybe that was the vibe I’d given off when we’d parted ways a few weeks ago.
I shook my head. “I don’t hate you, Zack. But you hurt me, and I’m not going to lie and say it was fun. It was just awkward seeing you, and having coffee, and then you showed me the picture of you and Lily, and I just needed to leave.”
He nodded. “Do you want to sit?” he asked, and I knew it was his way of extending an olive branch yet again.
So I sat, giving him the benefit of the doubt and telling myself I wouldn’t run this time.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, appraising me, and I knew he could tell I was upset.
I sighed and settled back into the armchair next to his. “I just found out last night that Ben cheated on me a few times while we were together, with a sorority sister of mine, so I sort of drank myself into oblivion and am now super hung over, and I just feel kind of shitty overall.”
Zack made a face. “That sucks.”
“Have you ever cheated on someone?” I asked him.
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “Of course Jen is the only person I’ve ever officially called my girlfriend, and I never cheated on her, but I don’t think it’s something I’d ever do. It’s why I didn’t date anyone seriously after her. I knew what I wanted, and it wasn’t a girlfriend.”
I squinted my eyes and nodded, sort of amazed that we were having this conversation. It was incredibly different from the stilted conversation we’d had at the coffee shop in Charlotte. Now it was as if we were two old friends talking. He was speaking so frankly about his past. His guard was completely down, it seemed, and I knew then that all summer, even when I’d thought he was opening up to me, he’d always been very measured in what he’d shared. He’d been cautious about revealing too much because he’d been keeping two huge secrets. Now his secrets were out, so I guess he didn’t have to watch what he said.
“I cheated,” I said, and he nodded. He knew that I’d cheated He was the guy I’d cheated with. “Am I a horrible person?”
“No, you’re not,” he said sincerely, smiling just a little.
“Am I bad in bed or something?” I asked, and he laughed out loud. “What? Am I?”
I was suddenly panicked that I was and that was why Ben had cheated.
“No,” Zack said then, no doubt sensing my worry. “Definitely not.”
“And you’ve slept with a lot of girls, so you would know,” I said then, realizing too late that I probably shouldn’t have said that.
A dark shadow crossed his face. “I guess I have,” was all he said, and I knew I should change the subject.
“So how do you like living back in civilization?” I asked and achieved my goal. I watched his mood switch gears, the darkness disappearing.
He chuckled lightly. “I like it,” he said honestly, running a hand back through his dark hair. “But I miss my mom and the beach and Phil’s. The island was home for a really long time, and every place on it has a memory of her. I feel closer to her when I’m there, but living here, I get to be close to Lily and see her all the time. I can’t beat that.”
I wondered if he wanted me to ask him about Lily and that’s why he brought her up. I was tempted, but a part of me just wasn’t ready. I hadn’t expected to see him that day, so I hadn’t mentally prepared for what it would be like to hear his side of the story, if he even wanted to share it with me. Did I want to know why he’d hid her from me? Yeah, I did.
“Zack, you said you were doing okay, but are you really?” I asked instead. “I mean, with your mom and everything?”
He sighed. “My mom died. I’m doing as well as can be expected. I just miss her – every day, but I’m glad she’s not in pain anymore.”
“She was in pain?” I asked, feeling dumb for saying it, but I felt like I had to say something, and that was all that came to me.
“Yeah. It got really bad at the end. It was a struggle for her to just take a breath, and I hated seeing her like that, but sometimes I just wish I had one more day with her. Just one more good day, you know?”
I nodded and wanted so badly to take his hand in mine, but we just weren’t in that place anymore.
“She was an amazing woman, Zack, and she loved you so much. I know I didn’t know her well, but I could see that what made her happy was when you smiled. She was happy in her final days, and I know that, because you were there with her.”
“I know,” he said quietly, his gaze set on a point in the distance. He wasn’t really focusing on anything in particular. I watched him, just as I’d done all summer, half expecting him to suddenly switch gears, smile at me and tell me he wanted ice cream. Of course, he didn’t.
“Zack, do you maybe want to grab dinner or something?” I asked, surprising myself, but I so desperately wanted him to snap out of his trance that I’d taken a shot in the dark. I never should have asked about his mother.
“I can’t,” he said, and he actually sounded regretful as he looked down at his watch.
“Oh,” I said, feeling my stomach drop. I looked down at my lap, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw him turn to look at me.
“We have band practice at seven.”
I tried very hard not to keep my face from falling. I wanted to maintain my somewhat cool exterior around him.
“Would you maybe want to come over late
r?” he asked, catching me by surprise. “We could hang out – watch a movie or something.”
I looked up at him, searching his face for what that meant. His expression was neutral but friendly.
“Okay,” I said, trying to keep my voice level, but all the time I was reading into his invitation. My heart was pounding in my chest.
“Why don’t you come over at eight-thirty,” he said, getting up. “I’ll text you the address.”
I nodded, unable to move from my chair. Before he turned to leave, he leaned down and hugged me, and the familiar scent of him caught me by surprise. The smell mixed with the feel of his arms around me put me into sensory overload and a rush of feelings came back all at once.
“I’ve missed you, Em,” he said, as he squeezed me. “Thanks for being a good friend. I’ll see you later, okay.”
I felt myself nodding, but not really reacting. It wasn’t until he was gone that I realized he’d called me his friend.
His friend.
He thanked me for being a good friend. When exactly had we become friends?
Suddenly, all I could think was, But, I don’t want to be your friend.
I knew I’d made a huge mistake in pushing him away. But could I let him back in knowing he’d lied to me twice? Did he even want back in? Things were suddenly so muddled. Maybe he did just want to be friends, but at the coffee shop over Thanksgiving, he’d seemed like he wanted more. When he talked about me kissing Vincent and dating Ben, he’d seemed jealous. Was he?
Now I was more confused than ever.
Chapter Thirty-One
Zack
“Hey man,” Leo said, when I walked into his garage.
He’d converted it into a studio when he’d bought the house two years earlier, back when we’d been a thriving band with the chance of a record deal. Now it felt like we were starting over, building our fan base and hoping for what we’d had in our back pocket not so long ago.
Broken Fairytales Series Box Set (Broken Fairytales, Buried Castles, Shattered Crowns) Page 51