Recreance (The Aeternum Chronicles Book 1)

by H. G. Chambers

  “Oren? Are you awake?” she asked quietly.

  He did his best to steady his voice, “Yeah.” He was too shaken by the dream to say more.

  She stood from the chair and made her way over, taking a seat on the bed next to him. “Are you…how are you feeling?”

  “I’ve been better,” he said honestly. He saw the bandage on her forehead. “You’re hurt.”

  “Oh it’s nothing. Just a scratch really, but Mags insisted I—” The change in his expression stopped her. “It should be healed in a day or two,” she concluded awkwardly. “I got off easy, really. You took the brunt of it.”

  Oren nodded, feeling the bandage on his head. “How long have I been out?”

  “About two days. You really took a beating, Oren. We weren’t sure if you were going to pull through.”

  “Heheh,” Oren laughed weakly. “You won’t be rid of me that easily.”

  “Apparently not, and here I was making plans to hock your stuff,” she grinned.

  He gave a soft chuckle. “Tell you what, you help me up out of this bed and you can have my stuff.”

  Clem looked him up and down. “I don’t think so, bub. I’m not dealing with the fallout when Khalil discovers I helped you re-break yourself.”

  “I guess that’s fair. He can be unrelenting.”

  “Oh he’s not so bad, once you get to know him. There’s a chaupar board here. I thought Hatch was good, but oh man, Khalil’s on a whole other level.”

  “I was never very good at chaupar,” Oren confessed.

  “That just means you haven’t played enough. Now we’ve finally made it here, I think we might have some time to fix that.”

  Oren laid his head back, and looked at the dim stony ceiling. The thought of relaxing in one place for a while seemed marvelous. Then he remembered Magdalene. How long had they been on the road? Two months? Three? Eventually the days blurred together.

  “Oren, I need to talk to you about something,” Clem said seriously.

  “Uh-oh. Last time you said that, we ended up running for our lives.” Oren smiled.

  “Ha ha, very funny,” she replied dryly. Then, “I’m serious.”

  “Okay, okay.”

  She took a deep breath. “Khalil told me what he saw when I fell behind in the woods…when the hasai were attacking me.”

  Oren sat up. She had his full attention.

  “I don’t know how much you remember,” she looked at him questioningly. He didn’t say anything and she continued, “One of those wretches grabbed onto me. It was clawing at the canister in my coat when you and Khalil heard me and came running.”

  Oren nodded.

  “It looked to me like the hasai was startled by your arrival, which gave me an opening to shove it back and break free.” She pushed a strand of hair off her face, tucking it behind her ear. “Apparently, there was more to it than that. Khalil said he saw the light around me…bend…to the point where I couldn’t be seen. He calls it lensing” She looked into Oren’s eyes, gauging his response.

  Oren had forgotten the whole thing until now. He had a feeling about what she was going to tell him, but let her continue uninterrupted.

  “Khalil told me the truth about the Ascension, Recreants, and how the Ministry takes people before they…” she fumbled for the word, “kindle.”

  Oren felt his blood heat up. He hated the Ministry. Not just for what they did to him and his family, but for aligning itself with the dark nightmares that had been hounding him and his friends.

  “Oren?” Clem asked.

  “Sorry, I’m listening.”

  “He said those that do kindle, do so after being alive for a century and a half. One hundred and fifty years,” she mused. “To be honest, I never expected to make it that far myself.” Clem paused to think, chewing her thumbnail. “Khalil says he’s not sure why or how, but…he believes I’ve kindled early.”

  Oren’s suspicions were confirmed, and he nodded. Clem looked a little disappointed that he wasn’t more surprised.

  “Me! A seventeen-year-old, of all people! I didn’t believe him at first, but I started thinking about it, and there were other times when I wished I were invisible, and wasn’t seen. I just thought I was lucky,” she smiled.

  Oren was fascinated, but couldn’t help feeling a sting of jealousy. “That’s incredible, Clem. Really, that is amazing!” He did his best to sound enthusiastic.

  She didn’t seem to notice the insincerity. “They say that if I practice, I’ll be able to do it at will, and not just when something’s about to kill me,” she said excitedly.

  “They?” Oren asked.

  Clem looked away. “Khalil…and your great grandmother, Magdalene. You may have guessed by now that she can, ah…gather, too.”

  Oren did his best not to take his frustration out on her, and kept his mouth shut.

  Clem continued, “Well, turns out I actually am pretty lucky. She’s a void weaver. That’s what they call us. I’m like her, Oren. Pretty cool huh?”

  Clem was clearly excited. Oren didn’t want to be negative, but he couldn’t help it any longer. “You are not like her,” he snapped. “She is a heartless, selfish person who would sell out her family in a heartbeat for her own survival. I don’t understand how she can even live with herself knowing what she’s done. Believe me, Clem. You are nothing like her.”

  Clem sighed. “You should talk to her.”

  “Talk to her? Are you kidding me? I can’t wait to get out of this bed so I can get as far away from her as possible.”

  “She saved your life, you know.”

  “It’s a little late for gestures, don’t you think?”

  “Well, I’ll always be grateful to her for it.” She said softly, with no trace of sarcasm.

  Oren crossed his arms.

  Clem persisted, “Look, I’m not saying you have to like her, or even stick around here if you don’t want to. I’m just saying you should hear her out. There might be more to the story than you know.”

  “Doubtful.” Oren was still looking away.

  They sat in silence for a time before Clem spoke, “There’s something else.”

  Oren finally looked over at her again.

  “Khalil didn’t want me to mention it to you,” she hesitated, then resolved to continue. “He says he thinks you’ve kindled too.”

  “He what?” Oren nearly shouted.

  “I’m really am glad you’re feeling better, Oren. You owe me a game of chaupar once you’re on your feet.” She stood and rushed out, forgetting to close the door on the way.

  Oren realized his jaw was hanging open and closed it with a click. He thinks I’ve kindled? Oren racked his brain, trying to think of times he might have inadvertently done something extraordinary. The flight from New Arcadia. He vividly recalled the hasai blade, flying toward the center of his face. The pain that followed. I should be dead. What happened to me? Was I gathering?

  Oren ran his hand along the raised skin on his side; a permanent reminder of the hasai amon branding he’d received soon after leaving New Arcadia. It felt warmer than the rest of him. Back in Masada, the healing treatment seemed more like a ritual than medicine. How long ago was it? Oren wondered. Must be at least two years by now. They said the brand would be permanently dormant afterwards, but it didn’t feel that way. He pushed a hand through his curly hair.

  Oren did feel different, but he didn’t think it had anything to do with the brand, or with kindling. Coming face to face with death had changed him somehow. He was at a crossroads. Part of him wanted to run; to just disappear and be freed from the burdens of responsibility. He knew enough now to survive on his own, and maybe if he stopped fighting, the Ministry would leave him be. He thought of Khalil and Clementine. Would they leave, if given the chance? No. He didn’t think so.

  The only other option left was to face that which he feared. To fight it, rage against it, and destroy it. Oren hated being afraid. He’d had enough of letting fear control him. No, he would not al
low it to drive him into hiding. I will stand with my friends and defy everything the Ministry stands for, even if it kills me. He clenched his fists, galvanized by his resolve.

  17

  Kai

  “Close your eyes,” Magdalene instructed. Clem obeyed. “Good, now observe your surroundings.”

  Clem felt the cool air on her skin. It was moist from the spray of the nearby waterfall. This is so exciting! she thought. This room, along with the rest of the refuge, had been hewn from natural stone caverns, hidden behind a massive sheet of flowing water. It was impressive, and judging by the inscriptions on the wall, quite ancient.

  “Our universe exists as a result of the rules that govern it. They dictate all things great and small, from the rotation of our planet around its star, to the number of protons present in an atom of carbon. They hold us to this world, and keep you rooted within one single stream of reality.”

  There was a long silence, and Clem risked a peek with one eye. She closed it quickly at Magdalene’s disapproving look.

  After a moment, she continued, “These rules have one commonality; a single, universal constant underpinning them all. Without it, our very existence would be nothing more than a fleeting, immaterial set of probabilities.”

  There was another pause; then she asked, “Do you understand what I’m saying, child?”

  “Yes, Magdalene,” Clem answered as she had been instructed.

  “From now on you will refer to me as Magistra.”

  “Yes, Magistra.”

  “This universal energy pervades all things physical and metaphysical. It exists throughout the past, present and future, for it is timeless. It is called kai, and it is limitless in both quantity and power.

  “Gathering is the manifestation of kai. In practice, it is the act of drawing on kai energy, and expending it to exert your will on the natural forces of the universe. Reaching a state where one is receptive to kai energy can take many months. Learning to use it with intention can take years. Now, sit…and keep your eyes closed!”

  Clem slowly lowered herself down onto the rug. She blindly shifted the pillows around and sat cross-legged.

  Magdalene continued, “Place your hands on your knees. Allow yourself to become adrift, floating in the vast sea of the infinite. Be free of the weight of your burdens, and step beyond the boundaries of time into the now.” Magdalene’s voice took on a chanting tone.

  Be not awed, lest you be overwhelmed

  Be not afraid, lest you be driven from yourself

  Recognize the radiance of Pure Truth

  Subtle, yet glorious and resplendent

  Recognize the radiance of your own true nature

  Clem listened, trying to understand. Am I doing this right? Why isn’t anything happening?

  She took a breath and made an effort to just relax, allowing the words to flow over her like water over a stone. She slowly let go, and felt herself drifting into a dreamlike state. Time ceased to exist. She became both the stone, and the millions of mineral particles worn from it and carried downstream…only the stream was not water, but waves of energy ejected from a dying star. She was no longer the stone, but a planet, disintegrated and carried across the cosmos.

  From the midst of radiance

  Comes the natural sound of reality

  Reverberating like a thousand thunders

  A distant, low rumbling filled the space between the words, growing louder.

  Be not daunted, terrified, or awed

  It is the sound of the one true self

  The reverberation grew to completely overwhelm the voice. The vibrations became more and more powerful, until she could feel them surrounding her, enveloping her. They should have been deafening, yet she felt no pain. The vibrations grew faster and faster until they became a solid permeating hum. Within it Clem heard symphonies upon symphonies of music. She had never even known such beautiful sounds could exist.

  A light glowed through her eyelids. She opened them, and the hum immediately went silent. Everything around her was made up of millions of tiny tendrils of golden, glowing light. Even Magdalene, sitting across from her with legs crossed was teeming with spectral energy. The room was silent but for the small clinking noises the tendrils made as they interacted and transformed.

  She looked around and saw Khalil leaning up against the wall. He too was made of brightly glowing strands of light. Even brighter than Magdalene. He spoke, but instead of words leaving his mouth, golden waves vibrated through the air. They spread through the room, colliding with her and bouncing off the walls before dissipating.

  Clem now understood why no words could truly describe kai. It would be like trying to describe color to a blind person, impossible to truly capture without seeing it for yourself. She looked down and noticed that the tendrils making up the floor were flowing toward her. They moved slowly at first, then began to speed up. She looked up and saw the same thing happening as light began flowing through the air toward her, filling her up. It was euphoric. She wanted more, and more flowed to her until she herself was glowing brilliantly. Magdalene stood, and large vibrations shot from her mouth, but Clem barely noticed. She was one with the kai, bathed in its warm light and free of every worry, every fear and every concern she’d ever had.

  A brilliant light exploded behind her eyes and all went dark.

  ***

  “Ugh, my head. What happened?”

  “Ah, thank goodness. You are awake.” Khalil stood smiling. He looked relieved. Wait here, I will prepare some tea. It will help with the pain.”

  After a few minutes he returned with a steaming mug. The herbal fragrance filled the room. Clem sat up and took the mug, warming her hands.

  “Tell me Clementine, what do you remember?” he asked gently.

  Clem took a sip of the tea and concentrated. She tried to grasp the memory of what had happened but it was difficult, like trying to think sideways. “There was a loud noise…a beautiful hum. Then everything got bright, and…” The kai, she thought. “It was so warm, so pristine. Then…darkness.”

  Khalil nodded. “I have never encountered one who achieved tranquility on their first try, much less gathered.”

  Clem felt pride, mixed with guilt and some fear of having done something wrong. “What happened? How come I’m here? Where is Magdalene?”

  “I am very sorry Clementine, but I was forced to render you unconscious. You gathered a dangerous amount of kai. Enough to destroy yourself and everything around you. We did not expect you to even perceive it, much less gather it. I hope you will forgive me for what I had to do.” Khalil made a fist with his right hand and wrapped it in the left, then bowed his head.

  Clem felt the lump on the back of her head. “I gathered? I gathered! This is fantastic!”

  “Yes, but you nearly destroyed yourself—”

  “Wait till I tell Oren! He’s going to die of jealousy!”

  Clem sat up in bed.

  “You really should rest a while before moving about. Your head—”

  “Oh I’ll be fine, really!” She spun her legs around to the ground and stood. The world started to spin, and Khalil guided her back to the bed.

  “As I was saying, your head took quite the knock. Had you not excelled so quickly through your lesson, you would have learned that holding kai takes a physical toll. It is not something that should be done without great need.”

  “Maybe…maybe I’ll just rest a little while more, but please tell Magdalene I want to continue my lessons as soon as possible.”

  “I will pass your message along, though I must warn you, you gave her quite the shock.”

  “Yeah…sorry about that.” Clem stifled a yawn.

  “How could you have known? Part of the responsibility lies with us. Get some rest, Clementine. We will continue once you’ve regained your strength.” With that, Khalil made his way from the room.

  Clem set her tea down on the side table, which was actually more of a wooden crate. I gathered! She thought excitedly
before her eyes closed and she slipped back into sleep.

  Clem awoke and crept down the hall, listening to voices coming from one of the closed doors in the tunnel. The conversation was muffled, and she had to creep right up to the wooden door to understand them. It sounded like Magdalene and Khalil were having an argument.

  “…because they are incredibly complex! You can’t expect me to simply decipher overnight what an entire team of scientists took years to develop,” Magdalene sounded annoyed.

  “If you are unable to learn its purpose, then perhaps we should bring these to Masada. The Ko’jin has highly capable Recreants with knowledge of such things.”

  “Hah! If it’s this difficult for me, your recreants would be like primates attempting to derive the laws of fluid dynamics. Honestly Khalil, I don’t understand why you cling to that derogatory label. You act as if being called a recreant is something to be proud of.”

  “Amongst my people, it is a badge of honor. A victory over the inevitability of Ascension.” Khalil calmly explained as if giving a lesson.

  There was a pause, and some shuffling of paper.

  “Look, I need more time,” Magdalene argued, “At least three weeks before I can say anything with certainty.”

  “Why not request help from Clementine?” Khalil asked.

  “Clementine? She is a child,” Magdalene scoffed.

  Clementine frowned.

  “You may be surprised,” Khalil persisted, “She has an affinity for mechanics…particularly in the areas of magnetic variance and geological potential energy.”

  Clem nodded curtly at Khalil’s endorsement.

  Magdalene sighed. “Perhaps you’re right. I’m sorry Khalil. I’ve just been under a lot of pressure lately. With everything riding on this, the…incident with Clem yesterday, and Oren…” She sighed again.

  “Oren will come around once he’s ready to speak with you,” Khalil reassured her.

  “Do you think so? I have my doubts. On top of it all I had to leave so much of my research behind in the city. It’s like having to work blindfolded…but I will figure it out. Mark my words, Khalil. Aut viam inveniam aut faciam. I will either find a way, or make one.”