Seductive Secrets (The Debonair Series Book 3)

by TC Matson

  “I want you to run big air on the freestyle and even bigger air on the half. Pull out different tricks for each run. But most importantly, I want you to suck up your fear and stomp a five-forty reverse.”

  My eyes go big. “I haven’t attempted that since Aaron tried killing me.”

  I hate his knowing smile. “Precisely. It’s sick as hell. Work through the mental block. If you can do it on the tramp, you can do it in the powder. You haven’t been fond of hard technical tricks since your big spill in Utah. You’re lucky your style is unique.”

  “I can’t just—”

  “Not with that attitude.” He stands. “You know how to achieve it. The falls suck, but the lands are euphoria. You know it. You’ve experienced it. You’re letting someone else and a shitty situation run your fears. I’ve got more faith in you than you do. I don’t get it. You’ve run some pretty sick comps in the past few years. What’s so different about this one?”

  I lift a shoulder, unsure what to say. I don’t know why I’m scared of this one. Maybe subconsciously I’m worried about Max being there? I don’t know.

  He nudges my shoulder. “I haven’t seen this nervous little girl in a long time. Tuck her back into your pocket and quit thinking. Just let your body guide you.”

  “When I get to the line, I will,” I reply.

  He shakes his head. “Before the line. Before the comp.” He squats beside me. “Losing the land was a big hit to the heart. I know. It wasn’t mine and I still felt it in my soul.”

  I swallow the lump in my throat and pick at my fingernails. “I did everything I could to get it back. Just to have that piece of Dad. All the years and memories I have of us out back.”

  “You don’t need the training area to be close to your dad. He’s with you. In your heart. He’s the fire still burning inside of you. If Frank were here, you know what he’d say? He’d tell you to suck it up, get up and keep moving like you have been all these years. The snow on that land melted every year. But your motivation and determination…” He taps his chest. “That doesn’t end. That’s the gift from your dad you should cherish. Teaching you the beginner tricks for you to conquer the advanced ones. I know the land was important, but that’s a chapter in your book you need to turn the page from. Another chapter lies in front of you. One your dad would be proud you wrote.”

  My fingers blur as tears stream down my cheek, but I don’t lift my head.

  Tim kisses the side of my head. “Be brave, Avery. I’ll meet you at the top on Saturday.”

  Avery

  It’s Friday. The day before Kid’s Bazaar and I’m at work bored as hell. Years ago, I’d be on the mountain playing in the powder, running everything through my head, and only focusing on the competition, but I’ve grown confident in myself despite being nervous about Max being there.

  I’ve been surfing the web most of the day, checking out my competition lineup. There’s only one name I’m excited about—Emma Hughes. Although she’s labeled as my rival, we’re far from rivals. She’s the sweetest, most down-to-earth person I’ve ever met. We’ve never exchanged a bad word, only positive and motivational pep talks. We’ve never shared bad blood, regardless of how badly the news loves to create conflict. We ignore it.

  Max: Dinner tonight? Please.

  Me: Yes! But I can’t stay long.

  Max: My place at 7?

  Me: See you then.

  Between Max being busy with another expansion and finalizing plans with Zach, and my training on my off time, I haven’t gotten to spend a lot of time with Max this week. My excitement is shredding me to pieces as I ride the elevator up to his floor. When the doors open and my eyes land on the man I’m crazy about, I all but want to throw myself at him.

  He yanks me to him, wrapping his arms around my waist, and kisses me. Instantly I melt against him.

  “I’m just going to throw it out there. I’ve really missed you,” he says, keeping his face close to mine.

  “Me too,” I breathe, smiling up to him.

  He presses his lips to mine once more and I tingle from the tenderness of it. “I made dinner,” he says, releasing me and grabbing my hand.

  The table holds two plates, each with a steak, vegetables, and a baked potato. A candle sits between them along with a glass of whisky for him and Sangria for me.

  Our conversation is light and about nothing much as we sit together and eat. He tells me about his waitress Marcy fumbling to tell him she was pregnant and Caleb cutting his baby sitter’s dog’s hair…again. His laugh fills an odd emptiness I’ve had all week and it warms me as I listen to him. I really missed him, much more than what I wanted to admit.

  “Are you nervous?” he asks looking over his glass.

  I shake my head. “Not right now, no. I will be tomorrow. It never fails.”

  The corners of his lips tic, but never fully raise. “Tomorrow I’ll get to see you in your element. You’ve seen me in mine, been to my winery, my home, but I’ve never gotten to enter your world.”

  My stomach drops as the guilt about keeping Maddi from him starts to gnaw at me.

  “Does it make you nervous that I’ll be there?”

  Scrunching my face, I bounce my head from shoulder to shoulder. “Not really. When I’m up there, I’m Aubrey and I’m used to the eyes on me. Making my way to the starting line is when I’m the most nervous, when I feel the weakest in my moment, but by the time I strap in and glance to the run, I’m over it. I’m hyped by then.”

  His smile is sweet. “I would’ve never pegged you as an adrenaline junkie.”

  I titter. “I’m not necessarily addicted to the adrenaline as what I am for the feel of the board. Like you with wine, I really enjoy it. I feel free and in control even when I’m not. My parents, more so my dad, shared his love for snowboarding with me and in some weird way, I feel closest to them.”

  He nods without a voice.

  “My parents were on the way back from a dinner date. They had one several times a month. Said it kept their love strong. It was late. It had snowed the night before, but the roads were clear. Somehow dad lost control of the car and…” I blink, realizing what I’m saying hasn’t come from my mouth in so many years. “They wrecked.” The words fall flat with so much sorrow. “Ryan got the call.”

  He reaches over the table and grabs my hand. “You don’t have to relive this right now, Avery.”

  I lift a shoulder, nonchalantly. “I know. Being so close to a competition is when I miss my parents the most. They were my biggest cheerleaders. God, my mother’s yell could be heard over everyone else’s,” I puff a giggle at the memory and then I frown. “The last competition they saw was when I just turned sixteen. I’ve matured and grown in eight years.”

  “They’d be proud of you,” he says.

  “For sure. I lost my mind at first. I didn’t know how to cope. Losing one parent is hard enough, but both was devastating. And then not long after, my grandmother passed. I was lost.”

  “You deserved to be lost. Who wouldn’t have been?”

  If he only knew I ran off with a shitbag and got knocked up and then he tried to kill me…I bet his opinion of me wouldn’t be so high.

  “Will you be busy Sunday?” I ask. I have to face my biggest fear of losing him and tell him about Maddi.

  “Depends. Will I be doing something with you?”

  “Yes,” I reply.

  “Then, no. I’m not busy at all Sunday.” His grin is lopsided and loving and contagious.

  He pulls me to my feet and moves me to the living room, looking out the large floor-to-ceiling windows. Snow flurries over the city, light and easy. I’ve always thought that when it snows, the world becomes silent, falling under the spell of its magical meditation sensation.

  I twist toward him, planting my hands on his chest and peering up to him. “Before things move too far and I’m forced to awkwardly hurt your feelings, I’m incredibly superstitious. No sex the night before an event.”

  Amused, his eyes li
ght up. “Then I’ll stand here and hold you while we watch the snow.”

  The feeling is immense. It’s explosive. It’s intense. And I can’t stop myself from saying it. “I love you.”

  He inhales, clearly relishing the words and the effect they have on them. “I love you too.”

  We stand at his window for a long time, together, his arms around my waist drawing circles on my hips. It’s sensual and intimate, like we’re connecting on a level that’s deeper than any love making we could have had.

  All my thoughts circle around him, fantasizing about what my life will be like with him in it. In two days, everything will change for us. He’ll know my entire truth… I just pray he accepts it.

  Max

  Zach pulls out a chair for Jade before taking a seat beside her and across from me. It’s bitterly cold outside and the little bit of snow Mother Nature put down last night only makes it seem colder. I wasn’t able to see Avery this morning and unfortunately, I won’t be able to go to the top of the slope and give her a good luck kiss, or hug, or just touch her. I’m massively excited for her…to see her.

  I’m focused on seeing her at the winners’ dinner put on by the president of Kid’s Bazaar. She’ll be there. Even though I’ve never seen her snowboard, I know she’ll be sitting beside me. At least I pray so. It’ll be a long ass dinner if she isn’t.

  “This is so cool,” Jade says and pulls out a pamphlet from her purse. “Have you seen the schedule?”

  “No. I’ve been so busy with your dumbass husband and the land, I haven’t had time to go over anything. You’ve been in charge of it.”

  Zach laughs deep and drapes his arm over the back of her chair. “She’s loved every bit of it.”

  Jade nods. “It’s true. I like spending your money.”

  It makes me chuckle. “Of course you would.”

  “Are you excited to see this? I mean, the woman you’re dating is a pro in a sport you care shit about,” Zach says.

  “I’m learning to enjoy it.” I smirk. It’s not that I don’t care for snowboarding. I’ve just never had a reason to like it. I’ve always been buried in my wine and winery.

  “Next up is the women’s snowboarding freestyle. And immediately after, we’ll be moving onto the halfpipe. This is going to be a doozy with several of the free stylist participating in the halfpipe. I think it gives them one heck of an interesting advantage. To see the different participants switching tricks…It’s going to be great.”

  I take a sip of my soda and then stand, shrugging into my jacket.

  “Awww. Are you going to be outside cheering her on?” Jade asks, doey-eyed. I’m telling you, she’s planning my future behind those eyes.

  “Yeah.”

  “Today, we’ll witness a battle of the pros!” the announcer says enthusiastically. “Emma Hughes and Aubrey Neal will be competing against each other in both their niches—freestyle and halfpipe. We’ve seen this before, folks. And it’s never a dull moment. They sure know how to work the crowd by impressing us. This is going to be epic, John.”

  The snow crunches under my shoes—the ones I didn’t put a damn thought into when I put them on. They offer no warmth and here I am trekking through the snow like I’m in boots. White clouds billow in front of me as my breath hits the cold air. The sun is bright, giving the illusion of warmth. It’s fucking cold.

  I make my way to the red barricades at the end of the skiers’ run. It’s packed here with throngs of people braving the cold, supporting their favorites. Many hold signs. Some have shirts over their jackets.

  Aubrey Neal will seal the deal…

  Hughes will not lose…

  Pride swells my chest knowing they’re here to cheer on my girlfriend.

  I get to the front of the people for the best possible view without having to sit in the stands. I want to see it all. Experience it all. And I hope I’m in the right spot for her to see me when she finishes.

  As several riders come down, the announcers describe the tricks. It’s a fucking new language to me. I’m in a foreign land unsure what the hell anything is. But one thing’s for sure, the last jump causes my heart to stop. The skiers fly high, some doing spins, some doing flips…way the hell in the sky.

  The woman I have fallen for enjoys this and it’s baffling as fuck. It’s contrasting to what I know of her.

  As I continue to watch impatiently, a little girl with bright red cheeks in a puffy red jacket skips around me. Her purple gloves match her snow pants, her black snow boots kicking up snow, her braided hair bouncing to the beat under her pink and gray beanie.

  Jade use to be the same way. Looked the same way, her eyes engulfed with elation. Snow animated her. When we would go sledding, Jade would skip ahead of me, regardless of how deep it was or how many times she fell face first in it.

  “Hi,” the little girl says. “Your coat is thin. You’re going to get really cold.”

  I chuckle at her introduction. “It’s not as thin as you think.”

  “Momma says if you don’t bundle up, you can get newphonia and you don’t want that. You get a big fever and you can’t get out of bed. I don’t want to get that sick because being in the bed all day is booorrriiinnggg.” She rolls her eyes as she emphasizes the word.

  Yep. Jade made over.

  “Pneumonia definitely makes you really sick.”

  She looks to my shoes and kicks the snow beside them before blinking up and squinting against the sun. “Did you even know it was going to be cold today?” She should’ve just called me an idiot. “Your feet has got to be cold. I have another pair of socks on if you want them but they’re pink, but no one will see them under your shoes. At least your feet will be warmer. These boots keep my feet really warm. They make me sweat. You want my socks?”

  Holy shit. This little girl can chatter. “No, sweetie. You keep them on and stay warm so you don’t get sick. I’m fine.”

  “Ohhhkaaay, but when you get newphonia, don’t be mad at me because I tried telling you but you’re the one not listening.”

  It makes me laugh. “No way would I be mad at you.”

  She sticks her mitten covered hand out. “I’m Maddi. My momma says talking to strangers is bad but she says helping people is good. You have to talk to strangers if you want to help people but you don’t look like you’re mean and if you are, my momma will beat your butt. She has this stuff and if she sprays it, you’ll scream and get sick.”

  I laugh again and shake her little hand. “I’m Max. Your momma sounds really smart. You know, you remind me a lot of my sister when she was your age.”

  Her face lights up, a smile stretching from ear to ear before it wilts away and she crinkles her red nose. “I asked momma if I could have a sister once and she told me no and bought me a doll. Do you like your sister?”

  I bet her mother has her hands full with her. “Very much.”

  “Do you like dogs?”

  It surprises a chuckle out of me. “I do. Do you?”

  She looks down to her feet, frowning. “Yeah, but momma won’t let me have one. I killed a fish once. His name was Sushi, but he was fake.”

  My brows jump high and I bite my laugh. “You managed to kill a fake fish?”

  Her nod is small. “He was in my dream. I forgot to feed him.”

  Glancing around, I scan for someone who may be looking for their child. As much as she talks, surely whoever she’s here with has noticed the quiet.

  “Maddi, where are your parents?”

  “Aunt Rave went to get me some hot chocolate because it’s cold and I really wanted some and Uncle Roo went to the bathroom but he told me to stay right where I’m at which is right there.” She points to a spot no more than ten feet away. “And Momma is up there.” She tosses her thumb toward the hill. “We got here late because Aunt Rave got stuck in traffic and made me miss the snowman building.”

  Jesus. Does this girl meet a stranger? I squat beside her and roll a small snowball. “Want to build a snowman with me while
we wait for your uncle and aunt?”

  She giggles, covering her mouth. “You sound like Anna. She sings it to her sister, but Elsa can’t go outside.”

  “Are these your friends?”

  The question lands me the most intense look of stupidity. “It’s a movie.” Ouch. That “duh” hit me square in the forehead. “Have you never sawed Frozen? Maybe your sister would like it, but it’s old. Momma said I used to watch it all the time and I seed it a thousand times. Do you know how to build a snowman? If not, I can show you. I’ve made bunches. I know I could’ve won the building competition.”

  I chuckle. “Do you ever run out of energy?’

  Her blue eyes gleam. “Momma asks me the same thing.”

  I pat the snowball in my hand. “I’ll have you know I’m a pro snowman builder. But if we’re going to make one, we need to make it small. Since he didn’t buy a tickets, I don’t know if he’s allowed in.”

  “Okay,” she whispers.

  It’s nostalgic sitting here with Maddi and building a snowman. I haven’t done this in…damn, I’m getting old. Jade and I used to build them in our front yard and if Dad took us to the winery, we’d make one to greet the customers. Jade loved it. I dealt with it.

  Together, we make a small snowman, maybe a foot and a half tall, when she turns him. “He needs to be able to watch. He has to see. He’ll be sad if he misses it.”

  “Then let’s not let him miss it.”

  She takes off one of her gloves and rams her fingers into the top snowball, making a pair of eye holes. “Here’s his eyes. Pretend they’re blue. No…Green! I like green better. Is that okay?”

  I nod, smiling before scanning the crowd over her head. Who the hell leaves their kid in a crowd unsupervised?

  The crowd comes alive and Maddi springs to her feet, placing her hands around her eyes to shield the sun, and then shakes her head before plopping back down on her knees in the sun. “Can we call him Popsicle?”