Finding Bliss (Bliss #1)

by Cassie Strickland

  Another knock sounded on the door before she could respond. It was thrown open suddenly, and Grey and Sam came rushing into the house, both of their faces panicked. Seeing the lady on the couch with me, Grey halted, causing Sam to collide with his back and let out a loud oomph. She regained herself quickly and walked around him, saying, “What in the… Oh, hey, Mrs. Birdie.” She gave us a big, killer smile.

  “Hey, Sammy dear.”

  I was a bit embarrassed to see them, not wanting this to become a neighborhood affair. I was already second guessing myself, so I didn’t need everyone else to think I was incompetent or unfit. Therefore, I didn’t know what to say. “Uh…”

  “Sorry, darlin’.” Grey seemed a bit sheepish now that he saw Mrs. Birdie taking control. “I listened to her cry for a while, and I started to panic when Sam told me it’d been going on all mornin’.”

  “Yeah, and I told you not to rush in here, too,” she nagged, rolling her eyes at her brother. “Sorry, Clara. He can be a steamroller if you let him be. I give you permission to slap him next time.”

  “Oh, stop that, Sammie. He’s just worried about our girlie here,” Mrs. Birdie cooed.

  I turned just in time to watch Mrs. Birdie grab, albeit carefully, the back of Bella’s thighs and pushed her knees into her chest in what looked like the most uncomfortable contortionist act.

  “Uh, I don’t think-” A loud fart startled me. I stared at Bella, baffled.

  “It’s just a little gas,” Mrs. Birdie explained, completely at ease.

  I. Was. Not.

  She did the motion again, and Bella let out another longer, louder fart.

  Gross.

  My mouth was almost on the floor by the time she was done.

  “See, all better,” Mrs. Birdie assured me as she picked up Bella. Bella’s cries quieted as she snuggled her cheek against Mrs. Birdie’s bosom. “Stacy was breastfeeding her, so Bella’s only just gettin’ used to the formula. I’m surprised she lasted this long, the poor thing. Did Grey not tell you?”

  “I, uh… No.”

  I glanced over at Grey to find a cute hue of pink tinging his cheeks. He was adorable when he blushed.

  “I, um, didn’t think about that, Mrs. Birdie,” he admitted. “Sorry, Clara. I should have.”

  “It’s all right, Grey. I get it. You’ve had other things on your mind,” I murmured, not wanting him to feel guilty.

  “There are a couple of things that will help,” Mrs. Birdie continued. Bella was already asleep in her arms, drained. “I’ll send Sam to the store with a list.”

  “Thank you,” I expressed with the utmost sincerity. “She hasn’t stopped since…well…last night.”

  “No wonder the poor dear is all tuckered out,” Mrs. Birdie whispered softly, enamored by Bella. She gave me a small smile. “I bet you are, too.”

  I nodded my agreement, but my stomach decided it had different ideas. It let out a brash, angry growl.

  “Come on, Clara,” Grey said behind me. “Why don’t I take you to get some lunch?”

  I turned my head, peering over my shoulder at him. “If you think I’m taking Bella anywhere now that she’s finally asleep, you’re nuts!”

  “Mrs. Birdie has her. You look like you need a break.”

  “Grey-”

  “Go on, dear,” Mrs. Birdie urged. “Miss Bella will be fine with me. She can nap in the kitchen while I prep for dinner.”

  “I-”

  “Go put on some shoes, Clara,” Grey insisted.

  I looked down at myself, seeing my pajamas. It was another thing I was embarrassed about – I was a mess. There was no telling what my hair looked like. Had I brushed it this morning? Did I even brush my teeth? I couldn’t remember.

  “Grey, I’m disgusting. I need a shower-”

  “You look beautiful, Clara. Slip on some shoes and grab your stuff. Let’s go.”

  It was my turn to blush. “But…”

  “I’d listen to him. Grey always gets his way,” Sam chimed in, grinning.

  I rolled my eyes, but gave in…somewhat. “Let me rinse off and throw on something halfway decent.”

  Grey gave me a wink that nearly caused me to swoon.

  That wink was lethal.

  ♥♥♥

  As soon as we were seated in our booth, it seemed as if there was a line of people waiting to talk to Grey. I fidgeted in my seat as they came to our table, completely uncomfortable. Because this was the first time I’d been out in public since the funeral, everyone seemed interested in my presence, passing it off as wanting to say a quick hello to Grey. Grey was handling it wonderfully, stopping any questions before they were directed at me.

  I wanted to kiss him.

  Well, not really…

  Maybe.

  Grrr.

  The man he was talking to said goodbye quickly, but eyed me with interest before walking away.

  “They can’t help their curiosity,” Grey remarked, noticing my unease.

  I tucked my hair behind my ear and nodded. “I know. I get it… I just don’t like being under the microscope.”

  “It will get easier, Clara. I promise. Once the newness wears off, they won’t even bat an eyelash at your presence in Bliss.”

  I took a sip of my sweet tea, not commenting further.

  “Have you left the house at all in the last few days?” he queried. He leaned back in his seat and threw his arm across the back of the booth, watching me.

  “No, I’ve been too busy with Bella. Which reminds me, I need to pay you back for all the groceries. That made things a whole lot easier for me.”

  He waved me off. “It was my mother, actually, so forget about it.”

  “Still, it was very kind. I appreciate it.”

  “How is it with Bella, honestly? You’ve told me that she’s fine, but I need to know if you’re copin’. Are you okay?”

  This guy just gets better and better.

  Seriously.

  “Other than this morning, we have been great.” I was beaming as I spoke of Bella. It might have been my thoughts regarding Grey, too, but I wasn’t confessing that to anyone. “She’s precious. There’s no coping involved. I love that little girl.”

  “I’m happy to hear that. I’ll admit, I was a bit nervous when you got here…not knowin’ what would happen to her. Seein’ that you care so much makes me happy, puts me at ease.” His expression spoke of his sincerity.

  “That means a lot…” I cleared my voice, cringing a bit at how breathless I sounded. “To know you care so much about her is…sweet.”

  “Mom wants to stop by soon. She says she’s havin’ Bella withdrawals.” His eyes crinkled at the corners with humor.

  I laughed a bit. “I bet. She can come over whenever. I wouldn’t mind the company.”

  Suddenly, all the humor fled from his face. “Shit. I’m sorry, Clara. I was tryin’ to give you some space to adjust. If you were lonely, you should’ve told me. I would‘ve gotten you out of the house sooner. I could’ve told Mom and Sam-”

  “No, Grey. Don’t take that on. The fact that you’ve loaned me your house is huge and wonderful…and enough. I need to find my footing on my own here. You don’t need to hold my hand every step of the way.”

  “God, Clara.” He scrubbed his face with one hand. “I’ve had to stop most of the town from stoppin’ by. With how you’ve been, I didn’t want to overwhelm you any more…”

  I should take that to heart in a negative way, and I usually would have if it were anyone else, but I knew Grey was looking out for me. He’d seen my ups and downs since arriving – I couldn’t fault him for that. In fact, I appreciated it.

  “It’s fine, Grey. Really. I’m glad you kept everyone away. I probably would’ve been overwhelmed by too many new faces. But if your mom and sister, even you for that matter, want to stop by to see Bella, I don’t mind.”

  He gave me that beautiful smile of his, and I swear, I felt it down to my toes.

  “Good,” he murmured as the wa
itress sat our plates in front of us.

  We were silent for a few moments as we ate. Grey broke the silenced and asked, “Have you thought about contestin’ the will some more?”

  I have.

  A lot.

  But something in my gut told me it was the wrong decision.

  “It seems selfish to want to go back to Chicago and take Bella away from people that love her.” He listened to my words intently, completely focused on me. “If I’m truthful with myself, it would be stupid to go back, too. All I do is work, and that’s not an option now that I have Bella. When I said I’d care for her, I will. I cannot imagine hiring a nanny or taking her to daycare. As far as my friends go, I can always visit. I think it’s best to give Bliss a try.”

  Grey was smiling broadly by the time I was done. “I admire you for that, Clara. Seriously, to give up everythin’ you know for her…” He shook his head back and forth, his approval gleaming in his eyes. “That takes balls.”

  I choked slightly, laughing at his candor. “I don’t see it that way, Grey. To me, it’s not about giving up anything. You have no idea what I’ve gained by having her.”

  Thoughts of my little girl came to mind, but the memory was too painful. I pushed it away, deciding that I needed to enjoy my time with Grey. The past needed to stay in the past.

  Grey’s eyes traveled my face as he murmured, “I guess I don’t.”

  My phone went off, causing me to jump. I fished it out of my purse, worried about Bella. I knew Mrs. Birdie and Sam had her, but this was the first time I’d left her. I was anxious. Seeing Paige’s name, I relaxed and hit decline. I’d call her when I got back to Grey’s.

  “It’s goin’ to be okay, Clara,” Grey expressed sympathetically. He understood exactly where my mind had gone. “They’ll take great care of Bella.”

  “I know that. I…I…this is just new, and I want to be with her all the time.” I played with the napkin in front of me, avoiding his gaze.

  “You can’t be there every minute of every day. You need some space…some fun. You’ve been all about Bella. Let yourself enjoy some free time. You deserve it after the last week you’ve had.”

  I snapped my eye to his. “Fun? Grey, my time with Bella has been fun. This has been the most amazing experience since…” I had to think about it for a second. “Well, ever.”

  “You’re tellin’ me the most fun you’ve ever had has been with a baby?” He was amused and horrified at the same time.

  I felt my hackles rise. “Yes. What’s not to love? She’s an amazing child.”

  His face gentled, and I had this foolish urge to run my fingers along his jaw. “I’m happy that you love her. She’s blessed to have you, Clara. But…you have to find a life here, as well.”

  I couldn’t believe Grey was starting this conversation. He reminded me of Galen and Paige right before I left Chicago.

  “What do you expect? My life is completely crazy right now. I don’t have time for much else until everything is settled. I don’t even have a place to live yet, Grey.”

  He reached over and stilled my hands. Feeling his skin against mine sent a current of electricity throughout my body, but then I looked down to find that I’d completely shredded my napkin. My face flamed, and I pulled my hands back.

  The waitress came to check on us, interrupting us. I was relieved because I needed a moment to gather my thoughts. Once she was gone, I decided to nip this conversation in the bud. I could tell by the look in his eye that he wasn’t going to drop the subject, too.

  “I’m not a social person, Grey. I like to be alone most of the time. Fun for me is sitting at home, reading a book. I remember our conversation the other night – you’re adventurous. You like the outdoors and things like that. That isn’t me. I don’t need time away from Bella or anything like that, because honestly, I’d rather be doing that than anything else.”

  He grinned. “You’ve gotta live a little bit. What about the movies?”

  A small ache formed in my heart. I hadn’t been to the movies since…forever. I used to love going. But that was another life…a long, long time ago.

  “Not a big fan of them. I’d rather rent one and watch it at home,” I lied.

  He shook his head. “We’ve gotta get you to have some fun, darlin’.”

  “Grey-”

  “Just trust me, okay? I’m gonna get you out of the house more often. Not a lot, and not for anythin’ crazy or dangerous.” His eyes sparked with determination.

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “I like bein’ around you.”

  Now, why did I like that answer?

  That was a stupid question to ask myself. Of course I knew why I liked it.

  “Grey…”

  “You need a break now and then, Clara. It’s healthy. You can’t be about the baby all the time. Mom, Sam, and Mrs. Birdie love Bella like she’s one of their own. You know you can trust them. Why not?”

  That was true. I did have babysitters that I could trust, even though I hadn’t known them long. But…what Grey was proposing was sounding more like dates. “As friends?”

  I swear, his eyes darkened, but he grinned. “Of course.”

  This idea reeked of trouble, but I was helpless against it. I was a sucker for any attention Grey gave me.

  You’re being careless, Clara.

  “Come on, darlin’,” he urged me after a minute, and then he flashed me a come-hither smile that I was sure had convinced women of doing something entirely different. “It can’t be that bad? It’ll help you meet people, as well. I have friends in town that you haven’t met yet. They’re awesome.”

  He could sell snow to an Eskimo.

  “Fine.” I had to hold back from smiling in return. “I’ll do it. But, it can’t be an all the time thing, Grey. Just here and there. Bella comes first.”

  “Deal.”

  It was then that a woman came rushing over to our table. She had auburn hair that curled around her shoulders. Light freckles sprinkled the creamy skin along her nose, cheeks, and chest, which worked for her in a big way, making her appear super sweet and innocent. Stunning navy-blue eyes peeked out from dark lashes, and they fixated on me. “Hey, Grey,” she said, her voice carrying a heavily Southern note. It was more so than Grey’s or anyone else’s I’d met here. “I thought that was you when I dropped off today’s orders.”

  An overwhelming surge of jealousy shot through me when Grey scooted out of the booth and embraced her in a solid hug, picking her up off the ground slightly. “Chels, good to see you, sweetie.” He placed her back on her feet, but kept his arm around her shoulders. “Clara, meet my good friend, Chelsea Reinhart. Chels,” he continued, glancing down at the woman, “this is Clara.”

  Chelsea shrugged off his arm and stepped to my side of the table. She grabbed my arm and pulled me – she was so overly exuberant, I had to follow her lead – from the booth, only to embrace me in a tight hug, as well.

  Guess these people were huggers.

  This was something I wasn’t accustomed to or felt comfortable receiving.

  “It’s so good to meet cha’! I saw you at the funeral, of course, but I didn’t get a chance to offer my condolences.” She pulled away and held my arms, observing me with remorse and concern. “Ya holdin’ up okay? Grey’s been houndin’ everyone to leave you alone, or I would’ve stopped by sooner. I was just tellin’ my husband, Justin, that if Grey didn’t lift his ban soon, I was gonna stop by without him knowin’.”

  Why does knowing she’s married give me a huge sense of relief?

  Grey laughed behind us. “I shoulda’ guessed,” he teased her.

  “Hush, you,” she said over her shoulder. She turned back to me, her eyes roaming my face. Like Grey’s did the first time we met, they went a bit funny, though she whispered, “Ya sure are a pretty thing, aren’t cha’?”

  “Uh…’’

  “Let her breathe, Chels,” Grey admonished while pulling her away from me. He tugged her down into the booth nex
t to him, telling me with his eyes to sit back down. “Sorry, Clara. She can be a bit much.”

  Chelsea gasped, demanding, “Take that back!”

  Grey let out a deep bark of laughter, causing a lot of heads to turn. A lot of those heads belonged to women who appreciated the sight just as much as I did.

  If there were ways to turn off this attraction, I would.

  Although…

  No, I would.

  Chelsea rolled her eyes at me, saying, “He loves to pull my leg, the ass. Anyway…you okay? How’s that little sweet pea doin’ these days?”

  I wasn’t sure what it was – probably her light and bubbly personality – but I liked her immensely. “We are doing okay…getting settled into a routine. Mrs. Birdie is keeping her so that Grey could take me to lunch.”

  “A lunch that I’m interrupting,” she noticed, her eyes dancing with mischief. “Sorry. I can go if y’all wanna be alone.”

  Does she think this is a date?!

  Would people around town think we were dating if they saw us out together more than once? I hadn’t considered the rumors that would swirl through town when considering Grey’s little proposition.

  Good job, Clara.

  “You’re fine,” I rushed, maybe a bit too quickly. “We were just finishing up. It’s nice to meet you…since it looks like I’ll be here for a while.”

  She nodded, her expression transforming to one that held sympathy. “I hope you don’t mind Emma tellin’ me. I still can’t believe Jon and Stacy did that, God rest their souls.”

  I had a feeling I would be having this conversation with people for a while.

  “It’s fine, I guess. A big change. As long as Bella’s happy, I’m happy.”

  Grey had a tiny grin tipping his lips when I glanced at him. I wondered what he was thinking, but Chelsea interrupted that thought.

  “I don’t want to cut this short, but I have a bunch of orders I have to deliver. I run a small bakin’ business out of the house and deliver baked goods to restaurants and stores around town.” Interesting, I thought. “Why don’t we make plans sometime soon? Maybe grab lunch or somethin’. Better yet, Grey can bring you to Bobby’s one night!” Her eyes lit with mischief again. “It’s a little bar we like to go to frequently. I’m sure you’d like to get out every now and again. You wouldn’t have to twist Emma’s arm too much to get her to keep Bella for ya, I’m sure.” She grabbed a napkin and a pen from her purse as she talked, scribbling something on it. “Here’s my number. We’ll make it a double date.” After shoving the napkin into my hand, she gave Grey a quick hug and stood, not giving me a chance to respond. “Nice to meet cha’, Clara. Can’t wait!”