Finding Bliss (Bliss #1)

by Cassie Strickland

  “What in the hell was Jon doin’?! This is sick, Grey! Sick. My stomach is churnin’ right now.”

  “I know, Sam. I know.”

  “Not yet you don’t…” She was vibrating with fury, but she took a deep breath and worry replaced her anger. “Are you okay? Is Clara?”

  “Clara’s fine. She’s sleepin’ right now. I’ll be fine once we finally wash our hands of this.” I pointed toward the house. “I want to forget I ever knew Jon.”

  Sam’s mouth parted with shock. “She talked to you, didn’t she? She finally told you what happened between them?”

  “Yeah, Sam. I know everythin’.”

  She put her hands on her hips and prompted, “Well?”

  Like hell.

  I shook my head. “If Clara wants you to know, she’ll tell you. I’m not betrayin’ her trust.”

  She gave me puppy dog eyes, pleading, “Come on, Grey. It’s me. I’m not gonna tell anyone.”

  I shook my head adamantly. “No, Samantha. Don’t ask me to do that.”

  “It must be big if you’re usin’ my full name.” She frowned and chewed on her lip, but then sighed her acquiescence. “But I’ve already figured that out. I need to show you somethin’.”

  “Has Chelsea or the guys seen?”

  “No, but Chelsea’s really worried about Clara. She told me how Clara ran out of here, how scared she was.”

  I nodded, blowing out a rough breath.

  Justin and Adam were good friends of mine. We’d known each other since we were kids. I’d usually trust all of them, Chelsea included, no matter what. But this was too big. They might not have been as close to Jon as I was, but they knew him. I didn’t want this to get leaked to the town. People would spread it like wildfire, and I knew a lot of them wouldn’t believe Clara – Jonathan was too revered. It could blow back on Clara in the worst possible way. She’d be an outcast again.

  I wasn’t doing that to her.

  “Whatever you hear, whatever you find out, Sam, it stays within the family. No one outside of us will ever know.”

  Her expression said like I’m that stupid. “They’d crucify Clara.”

  I nodded, agreeing. “It would get ugly. She’s already got enough demons to battle, we can’t add more. She’s stuck in this town if she wants to keep Bella.”

  “My mouth’s shut, Grey. Swear.”

  I knew I could count on her.

  “Let’s get this done,” I muttered, heading for the front door.

  “Can you at least tell me if what I suspect is true? Did Jon do somethin’ to Clara? Those pictures Grey… He was stalkin’ her, wasn’t he?” Her questions came out in a rapid fire as she followed on my heels.

  “Sam…”

  She stopped me before I could go inside and grabbed my shoulder, begging, “I just want to know if it’s true. The man we knew…that isn’t the same one that had pictures of his sister hidden away in a dark closet. I need to know. I don’t need the details, Grey. It, well…I feel betrayed.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling tense. She was putting me in an uncomfortable position. “I’m not gonna tell you. All I can say is that Jon was a sick individual. Do you know the meanin’ of a psychopath?” She stared at me strangely and nodded, but I explained it thoroughly, like Clara did with me. “That was him,” I finished. “Down to the letter. We never knew the real him.”

  She stood there, slack-jawed, as I turned and rushed inside. Dad was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He nodded and ascended them without a word. I followed him into Jon’s closet, passed the hanging clothes, and into the hidden room.

  “This way,” Dad told me as he pushed on one of the walls. It opened into a long, unfinished hallway.

  “What in the…” I drawled as I continued to shadow him. As we went down the hall, there were windows lining it on one side. You could see into every room, every bathroom. “Have you looked in the rooms?” When we passed one window, I saw Justin and Chelsea pulling bedding off of a bed, stuffing them in trash bags, clueless they were being watched.

  “Yeah, Sam and I did. Each window has a mirror on the other side. You can’t move them. You’d never know there was anything on the other side, either.”

  Nausea roiled through me. He built this house for his sick, twisted perversion.

  “Do you know how many young woman have come through here?” Dad asked, voicing my exact thoughts.

  Catching the tail end of our conversation, Sam joined us, asking, “Did Jon have a computer?”

  “I’m sure. Why? What are you thinkin’?” Dad questioned.

  “He took pictures of Clara – why not take more? What better way to remember, to reenact everythin’.”

  Rage boiled in me again.

  Lighting this place on fire was sounding better and better.

  I placed my hands on either side of a window, my head falling forward. I wanted to use my fist on each window, demolish everything.

  Knowing me, Dad put his hand on my shoulders to stop me. “That’s not gonna help anythin’, Grey. I’m just as angry as you are, but punchin’ holes through these will do nothin’.”

  Except make me feel a little better, I wanted to say.

  “Dad…” My voice came out strangled, almost as a plea. Not only had I heard what he’d done, but I was also witnessing the demented proof of it. The shock was agonizing.

  “I know,” he whispered from behind me, his pain raw. “I feel the same way, Grey. We welcomed this monster into our family.”

  “You didn’t hear her, Dad. You don’t know what… I…that wasn’t our Jon. How was he two different people? How did we not know? How did we not see it? He was sick. Crazy. What he did to her…” I couldn’t hold back the words. The anguish, the tortured pain I was feeling, was blindsiding, overpowering.

  “Come here, Grey,” Sam whispered and pulled me into a hug.

  I went to her hesitantly, but I finally wrapped my arms around her, craving some sense of solace.

  “Sometimes things in life aren’t what they appear to be,” Dad said behind us. “Sam was right – people hide things. Sometimes the person you know the best is the one hidin’ the biggest secret. You can’t fault yourself for being trustin’. It’s human nature. We all trusted him, Grey. Don’t feel like you betrayed us because of it.”

  “Fuck,” I muttered under my breath and released Sam.

  “Why don’t you get out of here? Sam and I will take care of everythin’. I’ll trash the pictures. Think about what you want done with these mirrors. If you sell this place…”

  “Who cares about sellin’ this place, Dad? I don’t want anythin’ Jon has left me. Fuck, board it up for all I care. I don’t ever want to step foot in this place again.”

  “I’m right there with you,” Sam mumbled, eyeing the windows with disdain.

  “I know that’s how you feel now, son, but you’ve gotta get rid of it. It now belongs to Clara and you. You’ll have to pay property taxes and all that bullshit. Better to do this the right way then fuck yourself in the end.”

  Shit, he’s right.

  “Okay, Dad.”

  “I’ve got a buddy that can take care of these.” He pointed to the windows. “We’ll get them sealed off. He’ll be discreet. We don’t need the rumor mill goin’ again.”

  Isn’t that the God’s honest truth.

  “I’ll try and find his computer…see if there’s anythin’ there. Should we call the cops, though?” Sam questioned apprehensively.

  “Nah. It’ll only start rumors. There’s nothin’ we can do. He’s dead.”

  “I agree with Grey.” Dad clapped a hand on my shoulder, offering me a bit of comfort. “Go take care of Clara and Bella. We’ve got this.”

  ♥♥♥

  I opened my parents’ front door and called out, “Mom?” Closing it behind me, I followed the sound of Bella’s cries.

  “In here, Grey,” she hollered from the kitchen.

  Once passing through the living room, I walked
down the hall and into the kitchen. Bella was laying in the playpen, her face beet-red as she screeched.

  “What’s goin’ on?”

  Mom shook a bottle of formula franticly. “She’s been like this for the last few minutes. She was sleepin’ peacefully, and then she woke up, screamin’ her pretty little head off.”

  I picked Bella up, letting her rest her head on my shoulder, her screams almost ear-shattering. She made little grunts between cries as she took fistfuls of my shirt. “Hey now. What’s wrong, darlin’? Is Mrs. Emma not takin’ care of you?”

  “She’s just hungry,” Mom told me as she passed me the bottle. “She took an extra-long nap, so I’m not surprised.

  I laid Bella in the crook of my arm and fed her the silicone nipple. I smiled as her wails quieted and she swallowed thirstily. “There you go, sweet thing. All better now.”

  Mom put the canister of formula in the diaper bag as she eyed us thoughtfully. “You’re really good with her, Grey. That little girl loves you.” I smiled brighter, knowing I returned that sentiment. “I think it’s time you settled down and had some of your own.”

  My smile faded as I remembered Clara’s revelation. The fact that she couldn’t have kids was saddening, but the reason for it was even more devastating.

  I shook it off.

  “Don’t start, Mom…especially not today.”

  She ambled over to me and placed a hand on my arm, her concern settling over her features. “What’s wrong?” She tipped her head as something else came to mind. “Where’s Clara? I figured she’d be the one pickin’ up Bella.”

  I grunted and turned away so she couldn’t see my face. “Everythin’s fine, Mom. She was tired, so I told her to go home and take a nap.”

  “You’ve never been good at lyin’ to your mother, Grey. What’s goin’ on?”

  Bella started fussing a bit, so I bounced her and kept my gaze downcast. “Just…talk to Dad. I don’t have it in me to repeat it all. It’s been…a long day. I need to take Bella to Clara.”

  I heard Mom huff behind me, but she’d never been one to pry. She had other ways of finding out.

  “Fine,” she granted.

  I turned and nodded to the diaper bag. “Is it all there? As soon as Bella’s done, I’m headin’ out.”

  “Yeah. All her stuff is ready to go.” She walked to the fridge and pulled out some orange juice, making herself a glass. “I was goin’ to talk to Clara when she got here, but since she’s not comin’, you can ask her for me.”

  “What’s that?”

  She took a drink and then sat her glass down, eyeing me closely. I could tell her mind wasn’t on whatever she was talking about – she was still trying to figure out what was wrong with me.

  “Thanksgivin’ is next week. I wanted to invite her and Bella. They don’t need to be alone for the holidays.”

  I groaned.

  My parent’s Thanksgiving feast was a full on party. They invited all their friends, as well as the rest of my family. I had tons of aunts, uncles, and cousins, and not to mention my grandparents. My Mom’s folks had passed away, but my Dad’s parents were still very much alive and kicking. They bought an RV a while back and have been driving around the country, exploring. That was fine and all, but they were interesting characters. Very interesting. I wasn’t sure if I wanted Clara introduced to all that craziness just yet.

  “Mom…” I started to complain.

  She cut me off by wagging a finger at me. “You can’t have her sittin’ at home all by herself, Grey. She’ll have a wonderful time.”

  “Do you remember what happened last year with Grandpa Raiden?”

  Mom rolled her eyes. “The old goat was just playin’ around.”

  “Mom…”

  Mom started giggling. “He’s a big ole flirt, Grey, always has been. There’s no harm in that.”

  “There’s a line between flirting and sexual harassment.” Once that was out of my mouth, images of Clara and Jon came to mind. I closed my eyes and shuddered.

  “Grey?” Mom questioned, sensing the sudden change.

  “Fine. I’ll talk to Clara about it, but you better tell Grandpa to leave her alone,” I warned, my protective instincts raging over Clara’s comfort and safety.

  “Okay.” She didn’t sound convinced.

  Bella finished her bottle, so I handed it over to Mom and positioned Bella on my shoulder again. “Help me out, would you?” I asked as I burped her.

  “Are you sure you’re okay, honey?”

  “I will be, Mom. Promise.”

  I just had to convince myself of that fact.

  ♥♥♥

  “Clara,” I whispered as I swept away some long strands of hair from her face. “It’s time to get up, sleepy head.”

  I hated to wake her, but I knew she wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight if I didn’t. Plus, she’d beat herself up for not being awake for Bella.

  She groaned adorably, muttering, “Five more minutes.”

  “Come on, darlin’. I’ve got plans for us this evenin’, and Bella’s wantin’ to see her auntie.”

  “Grey?” she whispered, and then her eyes slowly fluttered opened. “Hey. What are you doing here? What time is it?” She glanced around the room in confusion.

  “You’ve been asleep for a couple of hours. It’s after six.”

  She sat up and stretched her arms over her head as she yawned. I forced my gaze away from her chest as it arched toward me. “Mmm,” she groaned again. “What’s going on? I don’t remember…” She trailed off as the lights dawned in her eyes. “Oh. Right. Jonathan’s house.” Her eyes skated to the side, not able to look at me. “Uh, thank you for earlier. You were very kind.”

  Good God, here we go again.

  “Hey, darlin’,” I murmured and palmed her cheek, forcing her to meet my gaze. “It’s just me. I told you before I’d never look at you differently, and I won’t. You have nothin’ to be ashamed of.” I leaned in and kissed the side of her mouth, only lingering briefly. “Why don’t you get cleaned up and put on something nice. I’m takin’ my girls out to dinner.”

  She blinked repeatedly. “Um, dinner? Why?”

  “I told you we’d celebrate your new house tonight, and I don’t go back on my promises.”

  “But…after today?”

  I breathed in deeply, keeping my patience in check. “Today happened, Clara. It happened. We can’t do anythin’ to take that away, nor can we change the past. We aren’t gonna let that change anythin’ we have here or in our future, either.”

  “But how can it not?” she cried, her eyes welling.

  “Shhh, now, darlin’.” I leaned in and touched my mouth to hers softly, quieting any arguments she had.

  I didn’t think I’d ever get used to feeling her mouth on mine. Our encounter in the closet was still at the forefront of my mind. We were hot, combustible together. It was not the time for those thoughts or feelings, though. I needed to take this slow, ease her into our relationship. Plus, if we’d ever get to the stage where she was intimate with me, she needed to trust me, and it took time to build it to that degree.

  “Grey…” she murmured as I pulled away.

  “No more. If you want to confide in me more, I’m always here for you – I promise you that, Clara. But if you never want to bring that up or say his name, I’m fine with that, too. It’s your call.”

  She rubbed her lips together, holding in her emotions. When she regained control of herself, she whispered, “You’re a good man, Grey. Probably the best I’ve ever met.”

  I grinned. “I don’t know about that, darlin’, but I’ll try to be that for you.” I got to my feet and held out my hand for her. “Now, get up and get that beautiful ass in the bathroom. I want to see you all dolled up for tonight.”

  She put her hand in mine, fighting her smile. “You’re too much, Grey.”

  As she got to her feet, something else veiled her face. I wasn’t sure what it was or what it meant, though.

  She
went up on her tip toes and kissed the corner of my mouth. “Thank you for everything,” she whispered against my lips, then turned and walked to the bathroom.

  It felt like someone just sucker-punched me in the chest.

  ♥♥♥

  Twenty minutes later, Clara exited the bedroom, looking refreshed. She had on a pretty white blouse and a heavy red jacket paired with jeans and knee-high, black boots.

  I met her in the middle of the living room, saying, “You look beautiful, Clara.” And it was the truth, whether she was just waking up, walking around in her pajamas, or wearing her designer duds.

  Coyly, she dipped her chin and gave me a tentative smile. “Thank you.”

  “You all set?”

  “Yeah. I just need to change Bella.” She batted her eyelashes at me. “If I have to get all dolled up, as you so eloquently put it, so does she.”

  I chuckled as she sashayed toward the swing and bent down in front of it. “Hey there, sweet girl. Did you have a good time with Emma today?” Bella squealed when she saw Clara and held out her hands. Clara’s face gentled as she unstrapped her and pulled her into her arms. “I missed you too, baby girl.”

  After Bella’s change, we were walking to my Tahoe when Clara’s Cadillac pulled up with Justin’s truck right behind it. I had my arm around her shoulder while I carried Bella in my free hand. She was swaddled up nice and cozily in her car seat.

  “Oh,” Clara gasped. “I forgot about all about my SUV.”

  “I told Justin and Chelsea to bring it back for you when they were finished.”

  She tipped her face up to mine. “You think of everything, don’t you?”

  “I try,” I murmured and kissed her temple.

  As we approached, the passenger side door of Justin’s truck opened and Adam’s head shot up over the top of it. He stood on the doorframe, his arms folded on the top of the door, and stared at us, saying, “Well look at the happy family.”

  I ignored him and focused on Chelsea as she climbed out of Clara’s Cadillac. She came around the front and gave us both a warm, welcoming smile as she held out the keys for Clara. “I so want one of those. That drive was amazin’.”

  “Uh, thank you,” Clara responded uncomfortably.

  Chelsea’s smile vanished as she studied Clara. “Feeling better? You ran out of there pretty fast.”