Graffiti Heaven

by Marita A. Hansen

  “Then don’t say you’d top yourself.”

  “I told ja you’re like a son to me, so I have every right to try and protect you, and if you cared about me, then you’ll live.”

  “I haven’t done anything, so stoppit.”

  “Joel told me ‘bout you running across the road, so don’t bullshit me ‘bout accidents. And if it means I’m blackmailing you into bein’ less reckless, then boo-fuckin’-hoo. Wake up, Ash, cos what you do affects the people who love you, and right now you’re pissing me off with this selfish attitude.”

  Ash went to snap back, but stopped himself. He’d thought the same way after the Pacific Island prop had tried to shoot himself.

  “Well, you gonna stop fighting me?” Hunter asked.

  “Sons are s’posed to fight with their dads,” Ash mumbled, not sure why he’d said it.

  Hunter went silent for a moment, then barked out a laugh. “Yeah, right, not like you do. And since you called me dad that means I can ground you.” He stood up. “So, get off your arse, I’m taking you home—our home.”

  Pulling a face, Ash got to his feet. “You can’t ground me.”

  “I can only try.” Hunter placed a hand on Ash’s back and prodded him forward. “Let’s go.”

  Ash headed for Tiana. She was sitting next to her brother as the nurse attended to Levi’s bleeding nose. Ash had thought they’d finally come to an understanding, but after what he’d done to Levi he wasn’t sure if she wanted to move in with him now.

  He stopped by her bed. “I’m not sorry ‘bout what I did to him, but I’m sorry it upset you.”

  She turned her head away from him. Hurt, he stared at her back. But he’d deserved it after what he’d put her through.

  Hunter patted his shoulder. “It’ll be alright.”

  “No, it won’t.” Ash shook off Hunter’s hand and walked out the door, wondering whether Tiana had finally had enough of him.

  44

  Jenna

  She’s not dead, she’s not dead… Jenna kept repeating the words in her head as she paced the hospital waiting room, too anxious to sit down while Kelley was in surgery.

  “Jenna?”

  Jenna turned around. She hadn’t seen Kelley’s mother in about ten months, and was shocked by how much the woman had changed. Shauna’s once plump face was now gaunt, and her wrinkles more pronounced, making her appear in her fifties rather than her mid-forties. She was wearing a blue smock, and her auburn hair was streaked with grey, the mass pulled back in a bun.

  “What’re you doin’ here?” Shauna asked in a soft lilting Irish accent. Her tone didn’t appear to be accusatory, making Jenna wonder whether Kelley hadn’t told her mother about their run-ins.

  “I was with Kelley when she was hit.”

  Shauna’s eyes crinkled, making her look like she was about to cry. She walked over to the chair by the magazine table and sat down. “But I thought you two weren’t friends anymore, she never mentions you.”

  “Um … she’s goin’ out with a friend of mine, which is why I was with her,” Jenna said, her discomfort growing.

  “She hasn’t told me ‘bout a new boyfriend.”

  “Not like I tell my mum everything.”

  “Well, I wish she wouldn’t tell me half the things she does, because I’m sure she says it to shock me into paying her attention.” Shauna looked down. “I haven’t been that attentive since her brother died. I knew it was affecting her, but I was too wrapped up in my own grief that I couldn’t deal with hers as well.”

  “I thought she was an only child,” Jenna said, feeling sick.

  “She didn’t tend to talk ‘bout Liam because she hated that he was always away with the Navy. She got so mad last year when he was sent to East Timor that she took down all of his pictures and hid them. When he came back last Christmas she was so happy.” Shauna started crying. “He died when he went to pick her up at a friend’s birthday party. A gang blocked off a road and when Liam got out of his car they…” She covered her face, muffling her sobs.

  Jenna stared at Kelley’s mother in shock. Her birthday party.

  The sound of approaching footsteps caught Jenna’s attention. A female doctor in blue scrubs rounded the corner, and headed for Shauna. “Mrs. O’Brian?”

  Shauna wiped her face and stood up. “Is Kelley alright?” she asked, not correcting the doctor over the Mrs.

  A sad expression washed over the doctor’s tired face. “I’m sorry, Mrs. O’Brian, we were unable to repair the damage done to your daughter’s spinal cord—”

  Shauna gasped. “She can’t be dead!”

  “No, she’s very much alive; she just won’t be able to use her legs.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Because of her spinal injury there is only a remote chance she will regain feeling in her legs again, let alone movement.”

  Shauna shook her head vigorously. “But my girl couldn’t take that, she’s so active, lives to run. You must be able to do something, anything.”

  “I’m sorry, but her injuries are too extensive.”

  Jenna covered her mouth to stop from making a sound, but her cry broke through. The doctor glanced over her shoulder. Jenna shot out of the room. Kelley and not running didn’t go together; the girl was the school champ, the only thing outside of boys that Kelley loved. And Kelley had been telling the truth about her brother, and maybe even Ash too, and all she got was Jenna attacking her—making her disabled.

  Not knowing where she was going, Jenna headed down another corridor, the white walls and rooms all looking the same. She took the first elevator, shaking her head when an elderly Maori woman asked if she needed help. She got out at the next floor, passing two nurses and a doctor. She ran down another corridor, getting more and more agitated when she couldn’t find an exit. She took the next left and banged into a tall male as he exited a room.

  “I know you,” he said.

  Jenna looked up at Tiana’s brother. He had a plaster across his nose, and his left eye was reddened. She spun around, too ashamed to speak to anyone she knew.

  He grabbed her arm. “Hey, wait a mo, what’s wrong?”

  She shook her head, trying her best not to cry.

  “Come with me.” He prodded open doors, checking each room. He stopped at the fourth one, and directed her inside a small space lined with shelves of bed linen and towels. He sat her down on a stepping stool. “What happened?”

  Jenna shook her head, unable to confess.

  “I don’t think you ever told me your name,” he said, squatting down in front of her.

  She wiped her eyes. “It’s Jenna.”

  “In case you’ve forgotten my name, which I highly doubt since I’m gorgeous, it’s Levi.”

  Surprised he was flirting, Jenna stared at him.

  “Chill, babe, I’m joking. Why ya so upset?”

  She shook her head.

  “Did sumpthin’ happen to a family member?”

  She shook her head again.

  “A friend?”

  She went to shake her head, but stopped. “She used to be my best friend.”

  “What happened to her?”

  “She was hit by a van.” Jenna started crying. “She won’t be able to walk again.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry.” He took a hold of her hand. “Do ya have family here or do ya need me to call someone?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t face my mum.”

  “Why?”

  “Sh-she-she told me to stop it, but I woo-wouldn’t li-listen.”

  “To stop what?”

  “To stop fighting, but I thou-thought Kelley had stolen my boyfriend. I-I chased her, and she ran out in front of th-the van.” Jenna covered her face, too ashamed to look at him.

  “Sounds like an accident.”

  “No, I caused it; she woo-wouldn’t have been hit if I wasn’t chasing her.”

  “What are ya gonna do about it then?”

  Jenna uncovered her face, not understanding the que
stion. “What?”

  “Are ya gonna slink away or are ya gonna try and make up for it?”

  “She’s disabled now, how can I make up for that?”

  “Be there for her. She may not want your help, but you hafta try.”

  “But, she’ll hate me.”

  “You still hafta try. Do your parents know?”

  She shook her head. “I can’t tell them, they’ll hate me too.”

  “I doubt that, and they needa know.”

  Jenna wasn’t sure she had the guts to tell them. “But, I’m not that strong.”

  “I don’t believe that, you look like a tough li’l thing.”

  “You don’t know me.”

  He shrugged. “Why are you at the hospital then? You could’ve just taken off and denied everything.”

  “I was scared she’d die, and I didn’t want to leave her alone.”

  “That means you care ‘bout her.”

  “I s’pose.” A few hours ago she wouldn’t have thought so, but now, finding out about Kelley’s brother had changed things. And it was probably true too; otherwise she wouldn’t have been so hurt after Kelley had trashed their friendship.

  “Are you gonna visit her again?” Levi asked.

  Jenna looked down. “I can’t.”

  Levi tapped her knee. “You caused this, so you should.”

  Jenna raised her gaze. When she’d first met Levi she didn’t think there was much inside his pretty head other than hooking up with girls, one of those players that didn’t give a stuff about consequences, but now she saw how he could be related to Tiana, his you-gotta-do-the-right-thing personality similar.

  “Well?” he said. “Are ya gonna do sumpthin’ or are ya gonna pretend you didn’t ruin someone’s life?”

  Jenna breathed in at his harsh words, because they were true—she had ruined Kelley’s life.

  Levi’s expression stayed hard. “If someone doesn’t tell ya this then you aren’t worth it, and, babe, you’re worth it, cos you cared enough to be here.”

  She shrugged, not believing him, because if she was worth anything Kelley wouldn’t be disabled.

  “So, what are you gonna do first?”

  She shrugged again, wishing he’d stop asking her questions.

  “Where are your parents?”

  “Home.”

  “My mum’s here now, so if you want I can take ya home and stay with you while you tell your parents.”

  “I can’t tell them.”

  “You can and you will.” He stood up. “And if you don’t then you’re a coward.”

  “I’m not a coward! I’ve taken on people bigger than me.”

  He held out a hand. “Then don’t let your excuses win.”

  Jenna stared at his hand for a moment, then took it and stood up.

  ***

  On the drive home, Levi had chatted constantly, telling her about Tiana getting hurt, him wanting to go to her school, as well as throwing in his favourite telly programmes and bands. Jenna had the feeling that he was trying to distract her from what she had to do, but it didn’t, because all she could think about was that her mum had been right.

  Levi pulled on the handbrake and got out of the trash heap called a car. It probably belonged in a junk yard, but it had still gotten her home, no matter how much she wished it had broken down.

  He opened her door. “C’mon, you might as well get it over and done with.”

  She got out and watched as he locked up.

  Once done, he indicated towards the house with his head. “You gonna go inside or stand out here staring at me?”

  “Stay out here.”

  “Then why didja lemme drive you home if you were gonna chicken out?”

  “You can’t shame me into telling them.”

  “They’re gonna find out anyway when that girl tells her mother what you did.”

  Jenna stomped past him, receiving a “That a girl, you can do it.” She didn’t think so, but with him behind her she didn’t think he’d let her back out either.

  The smell of chicken soup hit her nose as she stepped inside her house. Vic looked up from his position on the couch. “Mum, she’s home! And she’s brought a new boyfriend.”

  “Shut up!” she snapped. “He’s not my boyfriend, you idiot.”

  Her mother came running through the kitchen doorway. “Jenna, where have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you.”

  “I haven’t,” Vic piped up.

  Their mother shot a glare at him. “I didn’t ask you, so be quiet.”

  Grinning, Vic refocused on the telly.

  “Where’s Dad?” Jenna asked.

  “In the garage with Nate.” Her mother’s gaze moved to Levi. “And who’s this?”

  “A friend. Can you please get Dad and Nate; I have something to tell everyone.”

  Her mother’s expression dropped. “You’re not pregnant, are you?”

  “No! Why would ja think that?”

  Looking intensely relieved, her mother pointed at Levi. “Because he’s here and you want to talk to the whole family. Plus, you’ve been acting weird lately.”

  “I’m only here to help Jenna.” Levi extended his hand. “My name’s Levi Lilu. It’s nice to meet you, Mrs… Sorry, I don’t know your last name.”

  “Hamilton.” Smiling, Jenna’s mum shook his hand. “It’s nice to meet you too, and it wouldn’t be so bad if you were Jenna’s boyfriend.”

  “Mum!” Jenna said.

  Her mother frowned. “What’re you yelling at? He’s a lovely, polite boy. I’ll go get your father and see whether you’re so loud when he comes in.” She turned and walked through the kitchen doorway and out the back of the house.

  “Sorry, she’s a sucker for a nice smile,” Jenna grumbled.

  “You think I’ve got a nice smile?” Levi said.

  “You damn well know you do, you cocky sod.”

  Vic started laughing from the couch. “Dude, you really don’t wanna go out with my sis, she’ll crush your balls then make ya eat ‘em.”

  “Shut up, you!”

  Vic laughed louder. Jenna spun around and went to push past Levi. She couldn’t do this, her temper was too bad.

  Levi blocked her way.

  “Move it!” she snapped.

  “Nope, you’re not chickening out.”

  “I’m not chickening out; I just can’t stand listening to him.”

  “Bullshit, you’re using him as an excuse to back out.”

  Jenna shoved Levi’s chest. “Get outta my way or I’ll hit you.”

  He opened up his arms. “Go right ahead, but if you do, it means you don’t give a shit ‘bout what happened to that girl, you coward.”

  “I’m not a coward!”

  “Yes, you are, otherwise you’d talk instead of bashing people.”

  “What the hell do you know?”

  “Cos I used to do the same thing.”

  Footsteps sounded behind her. Jenna turned around as her mother returned with Jenna’s father and oldest brother. She backed up a step into Levi, who placed his hands on her shoulders. Her father’s eyes narrowed. Levi let go of her and prodded her forward.

  “Who’s this?” Jenna’s father asked.

  “Her boyfriend,” Vic said loudly.

  “Is not,” Jenna said. “He’s just a friend.”

  “Yeah, friends with benefits,” Vic laughed.

  “Get out!”

  “Don’t wanna be ‘ere anyway, there’s nuthin’ on TV and you’re boring.” Vic stood up and walked into the kitchen.

  “Sorry about my rude son, Levi.” Jenna’s mother indicated towards the couch. “Please take a seat.”

  Jenna walked over and sat down with Levi, while the others took the remaining chairs. Scared, she stared at a burn mark in the carpet, not sure if she could confess.

  Levi took a hold of her hand. “You can do this.”

  She shook her head.

  “Yes, you can, just tell them.”

  “Tel
l us what?” her mother asked. “What is this about, Jenna?”

  Jenna looked up. “Do ya remember Kelley O’Brian?”

  Her mother nodded, while her father shook his head.

  “Last year she dumped me as a friend, didn’t tell me why. Then at the pools last January she made a pass at Ash. Since then … I’ve been hitting her.”

  Her mother frowned. “Is this why you came home badly hurt the other day? Kelley hit you back?”

  “No, a girl called Fa did that.” Too ashamed to look at her mother, she focused on Levi. “I look for fights sometimes and even punched your sister when she slept with Ash.”

  Levi stiffened.

  “I tried to make it up to her, even kinda thought of her as a friend after what happened to Ash.”

  Levi let go of her hand and turned his head so she couldn’t see his face.

  “I’m sorry I hurt Tiana, I really am, she didn’t deserve it, but I was upset she’d had Ash.”

  Her mother interrupted, “But, you aren’t goin’ out with Ashley anymore.”

  “That’s another reason why I’m always angry; I want to be with him, but he doesn’t want to be with me. Everyone I care ‘bout leaves me.”

  “But we’re here, honey. We would never leave you; you just need to talk to us more.”

  “You can’t promise that. People die, like Grandma Ivy.”

  “Is this about her too?”

  Jenna nodded, and wiped her eyes. “I loved her, I loved Ash, still do, but it doesn’t matter what I want, they left me. People always leave me.”

  “Everyone loses someone sooner or later, but they don’t all go round hitting people because of it.”

  “I can’t help it, things get too much and I lose it.”

  “Then the principal’s right, you do need to see a behavioural counsellor. And you also hafta stop taking off every time I want to discuss something with you, like earlier. Jumping out a window is ridiculous, Jenna. Why didja do that for? I just wanted to talk with you.”

  “You don’t talk, you yell.”

  “Because you’re so rude, and where didja go?”

  “To Kelley’s house.”

  A worried expression dropped over her mother’s face. “Oh God, Jenna, what didja do now?”

  “We argued and I ended up chasing her.” Feeling like she was going to puke, she breathed out. “She ran out in front of a van and now she won’t be able to walk again.”