Graffiti Heaven

by Marita A. Hansen

  “I cook, I clean and I only did it once with Ash.”

  “Which you shouldn’t have done, you’re a child.”

  Tiana jumped up. “I’m not a child!”

  “You can’t even get married without my permission—”

  “But I can move out.”

  Her mother stood. “And go where? Because this boy won’t want you now.”

  “He said I could move into his place.”

  “He what?”

  Levi got up and headed for the door.

  “Stop, Levi,” their mother said. “Tell her she’s talking nonsense.”

  He shook his head. “She can do whatever she likes, it’s got nuthin’ to do with me.” He left the room.

  Their mother’s glare shifted back to Tiana. “You’re going to Tonga or I’m washing my hands of you.”

  “I’m not leaving Ash.”

  “He attacked your brother!”

  “You don’t know what he’s been through.”

  “I don’t care what happened to him, but I do care about what he did to Levi. That hooligan should be locked up; Levi’s just too soft-hearted to press charges.”

  “Cos he knows what happened to Ash.”

  “Ash, Ash, Ash, he’s all you can think about, it’s like he’s brainwashed you into forgetting what should be important to you: your family.”

  “I hafta do this, Mum, please understand.”

  “No, you will do as you’re told.”

  “Goin’ to Tonga will only make things worse.”

  “You can’t live in sin.”

  “But I can’t live without Ash. You should know how bad it feels to lose someone you love; I’ve heard you at night crying over Dad. You’re fighting to get him back, and I’m fighting to get Ash back. Why can’t you understand that?”

  Her mother closed her eyes and breathed in and out, her expression strained.

  Tiana continued to watch her, getting more and more upset. “Please, Mum, please understand. I don’t meana hurt you, I love you, but Ash is the world to me. If you knew him you’d understand why.”

  Her mother opened her eyes and reached out, brushing Tiana’s cheek. “I didn’t want this for you; you were such a good girl before this boy.”

  “I’m still me.”

  Her mother started crying. “But he’s not a good boy.”

  “He is, otherwise he would’ve run when I told him I was pregnant.”

  “You’re making a mistake, Tiana. He isn’t family; he won’t protect you like we can.”

  “He is family now.”

  Her mother shook her head, her face miserable.

  Tiana took a hold of her mother’s hand. “Regardless of whether I’m making a mistake or not, this is what I want. Ash has been hurt and the only way I can win him back is to live with him.”

  “But, what about your schooling?”

  “I’ll still go.”

  “How? Money doesn’t magically appear.”

  “Ash said his cousin will pay. He’s his guardian.”

  “I haven’t even met this boyfriend of yours. How do you expect me to trust him and his cousin to look after you?”

  “You’ll just hafta have faith in me, Mum, and it’s not like I’ll be that far away. They live in Pleasant Parade.”

  “Pleasant Parade? Oh Lord, Tiana, this’ll end badly, I know it.”

  “Whatever way it ends, it’ll be my making, not yours, Dad’s, or Levi’s. Mine.”

  46

  Ash

  Ringing filled Ash’s ears. He pushed out of bed and lumbered down the passage, grumbling about answering the phone so early. He was starting to get into the habit of sleeping until noon, a much better hour to get up at.

  Hunter’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

  “Stop calling me, Tane, Ash doesn’t wanna see you.”

  Ash leaned against the lounge wall and exhaled loudly. His damn father again. Why couldn’t he leave him alone?

  “What?” Hunter said. “But Dante’s s’posed to live with me.”

  Ash straightened at the mention of his brother.

  “Bullshit, he wouldn’t go with you. Eh?” Hunter went silent for what seemed like ages. “The poor kid. No, no, Ash doesn’t think that, he blames himself, not Dante. We had no idea.” Hunter went silent for a few more ticks. “What? You’re kidding me? Nah, I ain’t complaining, it’s a deal. Give my love to Dante and tell him it’s not his fault, and if he ever wants to come over he’s more than welcome, just make sure you don’t come with him. Yeah, or I’ll shoot ya, so do as you’re told. Fuck you too.”

  Ash walked into the kitchen. “Why’re you making a deal with my father?”

  Hunter put the phone down and turned around. “He said he won’t hassle me anymore, and that you can stay here.”

  “Not like he has a choice. And why’s Dante with him?”

  “Your bro doesn’t wanna live with us.”

  “Cos of me?”

  “Yeah, he thinks you blame him for what happened to your mum.”

  “What? Where the hell did he get that from? I haven’t said a word to him.”

  “Maybe that’s the problem, you won’t talk to him.”

  “How can I?” Ash screwed up his face. “He saw what Chaz did to me. He saw it! How can he not find me disgusting?”

  Hunter tapped Ash’s head. “Get it into your thick skull that NO ONE thinks you’re disgusting, not Dante, not me, not Tiana or Joel.”

  Ash batted Hunter’s hand away. “I find myself disgusting, but I guess I’m no one.”

  “Shit, Ash, don’t say that.” Hunter opened his arms then dropped them. “I wanna hug you, but I never know whether it’ll upset you or not. I can never say or do anything right with you.”

  “It’s not your fault, it’s mine. Everything’s my fault.”

  “I thought we’d gotten over this blame game. You and now Dante, the two of you need to stoppit, cos it’ll keep eating you both up. You can’t change the past, but you can change your attitude. This is why I want you to go back to a counsellor. It doesn’t hafta be that dozy bird from the hospital, it can be anyone of your choosing.”

  “I don’t wanna talk about what happened, I wanna forget about it.”

  “How’s that working out for you?”

  “You don’t hafta be a smart cunt! This shit happened to me, not you.”

  “It happened to the whole family, but Dante and you are suffering the most. You should talk to him; maybe you two could help each other.”

  “Why can’t you tell him it’s not his fault?”

  “Cos he needs to hear it from you.”

  “I can’t, so get off my case. And why the fuck does he blame himself for?”

  “The knife wuz Dante’s. He brought it in, not your mother.”

  Ash went still. “What?”

  “He lied, cos he wuz scared everyone would blame him. He confessed to your father last night.”

  “No, that ain’t right; I saw my mum fighting with Chaz.”

  “You witnessed the end. Dante walked into the room first and saw what Chaz wuz doin’ to you. Dante attacked him with the knife, but wuz pushed down and repeatedly kicked. Your mother tried to protect him. She grabbed the knife off him and went at Chaz, which is what you saw. That’s why Dante blames himself for her death.”

  Ash placed his hands on his head. “It’s not his fault, he wuz tryna stop Chaz.”

  “He doesn’t see it that way, like you don’t see it my way. You’re ashamed, yet it wuzn’t your fault either. Chaz caused all of this, not you, not Dante. The lawyer reckons he’ll get ten years for it, I just hope that Dante’s new statement doesn’t change things. It shouldn’t. But personally, I think Chaz will get his due either way, cos that sick fuck won’t last a year inside.” Hunter smiled, the expression cruel. “I’ve got a few mates in prison. If the bastard doesn’t hang himself, they’ll make him want to. I’ve also told them to mark his face so everyone will know he’s a paedophile. Jail will be hell for
him, cos paedos are the lowest of the low, no one can stand them.”

  “But, he’s not a paedo—”

  “Yes, he is, you were fifteen, that’s under age, and regardless of whether he goes away for murder or manslaughter he’ll always be marked as a paedo. Two teardrop tattoos under his left eye will show that.”

  “I thought teardrop tats meant sumpthin’ else.”

  “You watch too much American television. The meaning isn’t the same here.”

  The doorbell rang. Hunter went to answer it, with Ash close behind. Hunter opened the front door, his large body blocking Ash’s view.

  A woman spoke, the accent Pacific Island. “My daughter said you’re willing to house her because your son—”

  Tiana’s voice cut her off, “It’s his cousin, Mum.”

  “Sorry, your cousin got my daughter pregnant and asked her to live with him. I assume he’s told you all about this?”

  Hunter shook his head.

  “Typical. Well, it doesn’t matter anyway, because he promised my daughter and he has to live up to it. So, are you going to let us in or make us stand out here while you look like a fish opening and closing its mouth?”

  Hunter stepped aside. Ash moved back as an older and fatter version of Tiana entered the house. He backed up even more as she focused on him, the woman’s stern expression scary.

  “Ash, I presume?”

  He nodded.

  She glared like she wanted to slap him, then walked past and sat down on the couch, indicating for Tiana to sit next to her. Tiana left her bags by the door and walked up to him.

  “Tiana, come here now,” her mother said.

  Tiana mouthed, “Sorry,” at Ash then went to sit next to her mother.

  Her mother focused on Hunter again. “I need your answer. Will you or will you not look after my daughter?”

  “Ash,” Hunter said. “Didja get Tiana pregnant?”

  “Yeah, I meant to tell ya yesterday, but after what happened at the hospital I forgot.”

  “My daughter being pregnant is hardly something you should forget,” Tiana’s mother said. “And now you have a child on the way, I will speak to my priest about arranging for a wedding before Tiana starts to show—”

  “I can’t get married,” Ash said.

  “Then you shouldn’t have gotten my daughter pregnant.”

  “But we’re only sixteen.”

  “That’s not a problem, I’ll give Tiana permission to marry, and you can get your guardian to do the same.”

  “No, I’m never gettin’ married.”

  “That is not your choice now.”

  “Yes, it is.”

  She shook her head, then turned her attention back to Hunter. “Well, is Tiana allowed to live here or not?”

  Hunter nodded.

  She stood up. “Good, I will return tonight to check on her.” She walked over to Ash. “And if anything bad happens to Tiana, I will hold you personally responsible, young man, and you’re not to go anywhere near my son again or so help me I will come down on you like a ton of bricks. And regardless of what you say, you will marry my daughter.” She raised her chin and walked out the front door, leaving him dumbfounded.

  “What just happened?” Hunter said, looking stunned. “And why the hell didja offer me up to support Tiana for?”

  “I didn’t have a choice, her mother wuz gonna send her to Tonga. And my parents supported you when you were in the same situation.”

  “Just what I bloody need! Well, since you’ve fucked things up in more ways than one, the old deal’s off. I will only support her if you go back to school.”

  “But, you said I didn’t hafta.”

  “Don’t care, you can’t raise a baby on drug money, you saw what it did to your father, so you’re finishing school and then gettin’ a legit job.”

  “You can’t go back on what you said.”

  “Then you should’ve used a bloody condom, so you’ll shut it and do as you’re told like I had to.”

  Ash’s jaw clenched.

  “You can start back after the school holidays since there’s only a few days left.”

  “Please don’t make me do this.”

  “It’s happening whether ya like it or not.”

  “No, I can’t go; they’ll all know what happened to me. I told ja, Joel knows.”

  “He won’t talk.”

  “What do you know? He hates gays.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Ash, no one thinks you’re gay, so stop acting stupid.”

  “I’m not stupid!”

  “I don’t have the time for this, I’ve gotta work, so reign in your bloody temper and deal with it.” Hunter headed for the door.

  “You can’t do this to me!”

  “I did nuthin’, you got the girl pregnant.” Hunter walked through the front door, closing it behind him.

  “Shit!” Ash raised his hands to his head and turned to Tiana. “Why didja do that for? You could’ve at least phoned and warned me.”

  She grimaced. “My mum made me come straight over.”

  “Your mother’s freaking scary as hell.”

  “Yeah, sorry.”

  He walked over to her. “Why’re you even here? I thought you hated me after yesterday.”

  “I could never hate you.”

  “You turned your back on me.”

  “You hurt Levi.”

  “He fuckin’ deserved it.”

  “He didn’t, Joel made him talk.”

  “Shit! I can’t go back to school, I can’t. Everyone’ll know.”

  “Joel won’t tell anyone, he told me to keep it a secret. He’s tryna protect you.”

  “More like he doesn’t want anyone finding out he’s best friends with a sick fuck.”

  “You’re not sick, and have more faith in Joel; he says you’re like a brother to him. He was really upset after what Levi told him, and was afraid you’d hate him cos of what he did with Salma.”

  “Really?”

  Tiana nodded. “He loves you.”

  “But, I thought he’d hate me.”

  “Nope, he cares more than you realise.”

  “So, no one at school knows?”

  “Only me and Joel.”

  Feeling hopeful, Ash took a hold of her hand. “Thanks.”

  “Does this mean you’ll go back?”

  “If no one else knows, then yeah.” He sat next to her. “And will you be alright goin’? What with you bein’ pregnant.”

  “I’ll deal with it.” She dropped her gaze. “Didja mean that ‘bout never gettin’ married?”

  He let go of her hand. “Yeah.”

  “Why?” she said, looking upset.

  “Cos I don’t wanna hurt you like my father hurt my mum. You’ve seen me, I lose it at times.”

  “Only cos you were hurt.”

  “My father wuz hurt too. So, promise you’ll leave me if I do anything wrong. You and the baby are more important than what I want.”

  “You won’t do anything wrong.”

  “Just promise.”

  “Okay, I promise. And what happened with your father?”

  “He grew up in an abusive family. He wuzn’t always violent, but he had a really bad temper and would punch me if he thought I’d lied to him. It got worse when he started taking meth. I tried to hide it from my mum by pretending I got into fights with other kids, but my father went too far one day and beat me up. She divorced him cos of it.”

  “That’s horrible, you would never do that.”

  “I don’t think so either, but I know how people can change. I do remember the good times with my father, like when he stole a neighbour’s car cos I wanted to go to the beach.” Ash laughed. “He got into so much shit for that; almost went to jail, but my neighbour decided to change his story. My guess is, my father told his mates to threaten the old bloke.”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Yup, that’s my father. I wuz nine at the time. My mum wuz visiting Hunter in the psyche ward, so
my father took the rest of us up to Muriwai beach. He bought us fish and chips and ice cream. I’ve never been happier. I even remember calling him Dad that day and he smiled at me like I wuz the best thing he’d ever seen.”

  Tiana shook her head, her expression astonished. “I really don’t know that much about you, do I?”

  “I guess not.” The phone rang, making Ash get up. He walked into the kitchen and grabbed it. “Kia ora.”

  “Ash?”

  Ash froze, freaked out by the coincidence, let alone hearing his father’s voice.

  “I know it’s you, Son, so no use in ignoring me.”

  “What do you want?”

  “To see you.”

  “You can’t.”

  “If you see me at least once I’ll go back to prison.”

  “Why? Cos you’ll attack me again.”

  “No, to kill the pervert who hurt you.”

  “What do you care? You hate me.”

  “No, I don’t, I love you, Son.”

  “Bullshit!”

  “I ain’t lying, and what have ya got to lose? If I go back to prison Dante will hafta live with you, he won’t have a choice cos your grandparents can’t handle him.”

  Ash heard Dante yell at their father.

  “Can it, Dante,” their father said, his voice muffled for a moment. “Sorry, your li’l bro is throwing a tantrum.”

  “That’s nuthin’ new.”

  “Yeah, I’m finding that out the hard way, and I can’t smack the li’l bugger for it either.”

  “If you touch him—”

  “I said I wouldn’t, so chill, boy. So, can I see you? It won’t take much for me to get sent back, I just hafta break my parole, then I can go take care of that sick bastard for you.”

  “Hunter said he’s got mates in there that’ll sort him out.”

  “I don’t want Hunter connected to this, and I should do it, you’re my son.”

  “You can’t kill him.”

  “Why not? I have a right to.”

  Ash gripped the phone. He wanted Chaz dead so bad, but he also wanted the bastard to suffer. “Hunter said he’d get Chaz marked as a paedo.”

  “That’s a good idea, paedos are hated. One hung himself while I wuz in prison, cos he wuz constantly hounded.”

  “Which means you don’t needa go back in,” no matter how much I don’t want you out.