Murder of a Royal Pain

by Denise Swanson

  “It’s one of those nonsecret secrets,” a shorter, slightly thinner woman stated. “Everyone knows, but no one says anything. Now it’s out in the open.” She turned to the third woman and demanded, “Isn’t that right, Kay Lynn?”

  “That’s because no one wants to hurt her husband. He’s so distinguished.” Kay Lynn tsked. “And with him being a minister, it’s hard on him, having a drunk for a wife.”

  “I wonder if Evie killed Annette and then blacked out.” Andrea asked the middle woman. “Laurie, didn’t you tell me that she was really ticked off about the whole head-of-Promfest thing?”

  “Yes,” Laurie agreed. “She was really mad at Annette about that, but then she just let it go and even agreed to be Annette’s assistant. I think Annette had something on her and threatened to tell.”

  “You’re probably right,” Andrea concurred. “And I bet Evie stayed on the committee to keep Cheyenne in the running for prom queen. If you’re not one of the Promfest movers and shakers, no way will your daughter be elected.”

  Kay Lynn nodded, and Skye decided it was time to leave. If she stuck around much longer, someone was sure to notice and start grilling her about finding the body.

  Because she had been so late getting to Mass, Skye’d had to park across the street. She stood at the corner, waiting for a break in the stream of cars pouring out of the lot. Finally an older sedan paused. The sun visor was down and a scarf obscured the lower half of the driver’s face. All Skye could see was a hand motioning for her to go.

  Waving back, Skye stepped off the curb. While she walked, she dug her hand into her purse, feeling for her key ring. As she pulled it out of her bag, she glanced downward to separate the car key from the others on the ring. Immediately she heard an engine rev, and when she looked up, a chrome grille was roaring toward her. She stood frozen. A nanosecond later she flew into the air, sailed across the asphalt, and landed on the side of the road.

  CHAPTER 15

  Show Me the Meaning

  “I’m fine, really.” Skye got up, brushed the dry leaves and dirt from her shins, and looked herself over. Her clothing had survived her fall better than she had. Her hands and her knees were scraped and bloody, but her skirt was pristine.

  A concerned group of parishioners surrounded her, and Skye heard one man mutter, “We never used to have crazy drivers in Scumble River. There’re too many outsiders here these days.”

  “What happened?” Skye directed her question at the three women she had been eavesdropping on a few minutes prior. They had managed to work their way to the front of the crowd, and stood facing her.

  “You were nearly run over.” Andrea ripped open a packet of Wet Ones. “Here, you’d better clean up before you stain your nice outfit.”

  “Thanks.” Skye gingerly wiped the blood from her palms. “I remember a car stopping to let me cross the street, but when I got to the middle of the road, it seemed to speed up and I couldn’t move.”

  “Yeah.” Kay Lynn dug through her purse and produced a small tube of antiseptic ointment. “You were doing a deer-in-the-headlights imitation.”

  “Then suddenly I was airborne.” Skye couldn’t stop talking, her heart was racing, and it felt as if she had chugged a triple espresso.

  “You were lucky.” Laurie handed Skye a couple of Band-Aids. “Some guy came out of nowhere and pushed you out of the way.”

  Kay Lynn gave a ragged little laugh. “I thought you were roadkill for sure.”

  Skye looked around the circle. “Where’s the guy who saved me?”

  Everyone glanced at his or her neighbor until Andrea answered, “He must have left.”

  “Does anyone know who he was?” Skye asked. “I want to thank him.”

  The group shook their heads.

  “Did anyone get the license number of that car?” Skye tried again.

  “No,” Andrea admitted. “We didn’t really see the whole thing. Only the back of some guy shoving you out of the street and a big car roaring away. Did anyone see anything else?” she asked the others, who all shook their heads.

  “But I did call the police.” Laurie added, “They should be here any minute.”

  As if her words had conjured it up, the distant sound of a siren grew louder. Everyone waited in silence as a squad car pulled up next to them and Roy Quirk got out.

  He frowned when he saw Skye. “I should have known you’d be here.”

  “Hey, I’m the victim.” Skye was in no mood for any of his crap. “Someone nearly ran me over; then instead of seeing if I was okay, the driver fled the scene.”

  “Whoa.” Quirk took a pad and pen from his breast pocket. “Start from the beginning.”

  After Skye told him what she remembered, he asked the people standing around, “Did any of you get the make, model, or license plate of the car?”

  They shook their heads.

  “Anyone recognize the driver?”

  More shakes of the head.

  “Can anyone identify the guy who pushed Miss Denison out of the way?”

  Everyone remained silent, except Kay Lynn who volunteered, “He had a great butt. I’m positive I’d recognize it if I saw it again.”

  “Thank you.” The muscle beneath Quirk’s right eye twitched. “I’ll be sure to get in touch with you if we ever have a rear-end lineup.”

  The crowd snickered.

  “Since you didn’t see anything, you all can leave now.” Quirk made shooing motions with his hands. “And when I say now, I mean immediately.”

  After the group dispersed and she was alone with Quirk, Skye asked, “So what are you going to do? I could have been killed.”

  “Not much we can do with no witnesses or evidence.” He shrugged. “It was probably some old lady who mistook the gas pedal for the brake.”

  “You don’t think it might have something to do with the murder?” Skye couldn’t believe he wasn’t admitting those events could be connected. “Didn’t Wally tell you that a couple of weeks ago I received a threatening note and my tire was slashed?”

  “Yeah. He told me.” Quirk’s face turned an ugly shade of red, and his eyes blazed. “I don’t appreciate your running to him every time you don’t get your way.”

  “What are you talking about?” Skye sputtered. Why was Quirk getting so huffy and defensive? “I might be the intended victim.”

  “There’s no evidence that the killer was after anyone but Annette Paine. I’m not going to let you sidetrack the few resources I have from that investigation and send everyone on a wild-goose chase.” Quirk got into the car. “I know you like being the center of attention, but it’s not going to happen while I’m in charge.”

  “But—” Skye cut herself off, took a calming breath, then said, “I’ve been threatened, almost run over, and Annette was in a costume she wasn’t supposed to be wearing.”

  “Your ‘threatening’ note was probably from some kid you’d ticked off, and lots of people knew Mrs. Paine was dressed as a witch. She threw a very public fit when Mrs. Miles didn’t show up, and she made it clear she would take her place.”

  “Oh.” Skye hadn’t known that. “But why was she in my assigned spot?”

  “You arrived late and have a reputation as a bit of a flake.” Quirk started to close the squad car’s door. “My best guess is that she was checking up on you.”

  He flashed Skye a smirk that she wanted to rub off his face with an electric sander. The word butthead clamored to pass her lips, but she bit her tongue. Mouthing off wouldn’t do any good. And although Quirk was patronizing her, he was telling her details of the case he would otherwise refuse to share.

  Before driving off, he said, “Whoever murdered Mrs. Paine probably followed her, and when he or she saw she was alone—since you weren’t where you were supposed to be—he killed her.”

  Shit! Skye hobbled toward her Bel Air, her knees aching from her fall. Could Quirk be right? Had her tardiness given the murderer the opportunity he or she needed? Maybe Annette was the intend
ed victim after all. Maybe the driver of the car that had nearly mowed her down really was a confused senior citizen.

  Engrossed in thought, Skye opened the door of her Chevy and began to slide inside. Before she had settled into the seat, a deep-timbred voice asked, “Are you okay?”

  Her scream was loud enough to make the statue of Saint Francis in front of the church come to life. Skye put a hand to her chest, trying to slow down her heartbeat so she could speak. “You can’t be here. Get out right now.” All she needed were new rumors floating around about her having an affair with Kurt Michaels.

  “That’s a cold way of greeting the man who saved your life.” The reporter grinned back at her from the Bel Air’s passenger seat.

  “You were the one who pushed me out of the way?”

  “Yep.”

  “Did you see who was driving or get the license number?” Skye asked. “Why didn’t you stick around?”

  “No, no, and I didn’t stay because I didn’t want to have to deal with the cops.” Kurt relaxed against the seat back and rested his right ankle on his left knee. “There were enough people around to help you if you were hurt.”

  “Why?”

  “Why what?” His response seemed automatic.

  “Why didn’t you want to deal with the police?”

  “It’s no big deal.” Kurt examined the crease in his jeans. “Quirk and I just don’t see eye-to-eye.”

  “About what?” Skye felt as if she were playing Twenty Questions and losing.

  “Things going on in town.”

  “Like the murder?”

  “Like the murder.” Kurt’s warm hand closed over Skye’s. “I’ll bet he thought your almost getting run over just now was an accident.”

  Skye nodded.

  “What do you think?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I thought it might be related to Annette’s death, but then Quirk told me a couple of things that make me wonder.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like maybe it was someone who mistook the gas pedal for the brake.” Skye half turned to face the reporter. “You read about that in the paper all the time.”

  “True.” Kurt ran his fingers through his thick blond hair. “But happening so soon after the murder . . . I don’t buy it as an accident. Maybe the murderer thinks you saw something and can identify him or her.”

  “That’s an interesting theory.” An idea glimmered at the edge of Skye’s mind. “You know, Annette’s husband was at Mass today, and I heard that he was playing around on her. If he killed her, maybe he was the one who tried to run me down.” Skye frowned. “No, Linnea was with him. Surely he wouldn’t think a hit-and-run was an appropriate father-daughter activity.”

  “No,” Kurt agreed, “but about ten minutes before you came out of the church, I saw Linnea get into a car with a group of friends.” Before Skye could respond, Kurt asked, “What else did Quirk say that made you think it was just an accident?”

  “He said a lot of people knew Annette was dressed as a witch.”

  “Oh.” Kurt thought for a half second, then said, “So what? A lot of people may have known, but all it takes is one who didn’t know.”

  “That’s right,” Skye agreed. “I hadn’t thought of that. I’m sure people who were on time and already in their places didn’t know.”

  “Right.” Kurt leaned back and put his tennis shoe–clad foot on the dashboard. “Quirk could still be barking up the wrong victim.”

  “Great. Just when I thought I wouldn’t have to be scared anymore.” Skye shook her head. “After my little chat with Quirk, I know he’s not going to look into any other possibilities, which leaves Hope, Nina, and me dangling like worms on a hook. If the murderer wants any of us, all he has to do is snap us up.”

  “If Quirk won’t investigate, we’ll have to.” Kurt turned to face Skye. “My boss says you’re the Scumble River Nancy Drew. Let’s use those talents.”

  “I’m guessing the reason you’re so gung ho is that you’re hoping for an exclusive.”

  “That’s one thing I’m hoping for.” Dimples appeared in Kurt’s cheeks. “A chance to spend more time with you is an added bonus.”

  Skye felt a surge of attraction, and frowned at him. “Let’s keep this on a professional level.”

  “Why?”

  The single word sent a shiver down her spine. “Because I’m already seeing someone, as you very well know.”

  “It doesn’t look as if you’re engaged.” He reached across her and captured her left hand, pretending to examine it closely. “Are you?” He kissed her wounded palm before releasing her hand.

  “No, but that’s not the point.”

  “My philosophy is, until you walk down that aisle and say ‘I do’ in front of a preacher, things can change.” His voice had taken on a velvety timbre, like a country singer crooning a sexy ballad.

  She drew her brows together. With Wally out of town and Quirk acting like a jerk, she needed an ally who knew how to get people to open up and spill their secrets. Trixie was good, but she didn’t have Kurt’s training or the opportunities that being a reporter afforded him. From what Skye had read in his column, Kurt was a whiz at persuading Scumble Riverites to tell all.

  “Look.” Kurt cut into her thoughts. “Flirting is harmless, and if it could develop into something more, don’t you want to know that before you find yourself married to the wrong guy?”

  Skye reluctantly nodded. “But it won’t develop into something more.”

  “Probably not, but at least we’ll have some fun.”

  Skye chewed her thumbnail. Lives could be in danger. Maybe her own. “Okay.” She could handle Kurt. He was like an overgrown puppy, cute but harmless. “Here are the ground rules. One, we can’t be seen together—there’s already gossip. Two, no touching. And three, nothing in the paper until we nail the killer.”

  “Fine.” Kurt’s blue eyes twinkled.“Here are my rules. One, I don’t care about gossip. Two, you can touch me anytime you want. And three, anything I find out, I print.”

  Skye’s face was set in hard, tight lines. “Either we compromise or we don’t work together.”

  “Compromise isn’t generally in my vocabulary, but I can compromise on that.”

  “You are so not funny.” Skye blew out an exasperated breath. “Here’s my counteroffer. I really don’t want to be gossiped about, so we’re careful about being seen together, okay?”

  “I can live with that.”

  “If I touch you, you can touch me back, but you can’t initiate contact.”

  “Sounds good.”

  “We talk over any info before you publish it, and if it would mean that the killer might get away or not be convicted, you don’t put it in the paper until I say so.”

  “Deal.” Kurt held out his hand.

  Skye shook.

  “See? I knew you wouldn’t be able to resist touching me.” Kurt’s look was teasing. “Now I get to touch you.”

  “No.” Skye backed away, but there wasn’t very far she could go without getting out of the car.

  “Yes.” Kurt leaned forward.

  Shoot. He was going to kiss her. Right here in front of the church. Truth be told, she was a little curious. She hadn’t kissed that many men. There had been her high school boyfriend, the guy she dated in college, the one she met in the peace corps, her ex-fiancé, Simon, and Wally.

  Each one had been better than the guy before him. Could Kurt top Wally? She closed her eyes. She could feel his breath on her face and she resigned herself to the inevitable. But instead of masculine lips pressed against hers, Skye felt a gust of wind. She shivered and her eyelids flew open. Kurt was standing outside the car.

  He smiled. “I’ll take a rain check on my touch.” He leaned down. “In the meantime, why don’t you look into Hope Kennedy’s enemies, and I’ll see what I can discover about Nina Miles. We both should try to find out what skeletons Annette had in her closet.”

  “Okay.” Kurt started
to walk away, and Skye called after him, “Wait a minute. I locked my car before going into Mass. How did you get inside?”

  “You drive an old ragtop.” He reached in his pocket and showed her a folded length of metal clothes hanger. “Piece of cake.”

  Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Skye pounded the steering wheel as she drove home. Why did she get the feeling she had sold her soul to the devil with the blue jeans on?

  The remainder of Skye’s Sunday was a waste. When she’d talked to Wally before church, she’d forgotten to tell him about the gossip and get his permission to tell her aunt about his real reason for leaving town, so she wasn’t able to take care of that chore. And neither Hope Kennedy nor Evie Harrison was answering either the door or the phone. The only task she had accomplished was grocery shopping.

  Eight o’clock Monday morning, Skye sat at her desk in the high school and stared bleary eyed at Travis Idell’s file. The psychiatrist was still not returning Skye’s calls, and Mrs. Idell was growing more and more enraged by the school’s lack of action. She was now threatening to bring the matter to due process, which had thrown Homer into a tizzy.

  He had threatened and cajoled Skye, but she had stood firm, agreeing only to review the file once more. Now, as she looked over the paperwork in Travis’s folder for the fifth time, she was again amazed that a professional had allowed an assessment of such poor quality to leave his office. She’d seen some badly written reports in her time, but this one was a doozy.

  Her favorite line was, Travis appears to have a slight case of dyslexia, and because of this the principle has suspended him from school on several occasions.

  However, no matter how amusing she found the report, the bottom line was that there was nothing in it to support the idea that Travis had a learning disability. She had already explained to Homer that if everyone else on the PPS team agreed Travis qualified for service, the team could put him in special education. At that point, she would write a dissenting opinion, but her statement would not interfere with the placement.

  She knew Homer would have grabbed at this chance to pacify the Idells if she hadn’t also pointed out that if, later on as an adult, Travis felt being placed in special ed had harmed him, he could come back and sue the district and the individuals who had signed off.