Freakshow

by Jaden Wilkes

  “That’s cool,” I said in an attempt to sound nonchalant. It obviously didn’t work.

  “Seriously, stay away from him. He’s off limits, and honestly? Way out of your league. He would never date a norm,” Joanna said with a hiss.

  “Are you into him?” I asked and looked Joanna in the eye. I didn’t know why I was being so combative over this issue, but I wanted to know more about him.

  It was bizarre though, Cairo appeared to be my age, and Orion only seemed ten years older. How was it that Orion looked so young? Good genetics, or maybe he sacrificed babies in his spare time. Either way, I felt a hint of something mysterious at work.

  “No, of course not,” Joanna snapped, obviously lying to me and perhaps herself. “He’s not the kind of guy any girl should want to hang out with. He might look good, but he’s dangerous. You seriously should stay away from him.”

  “Okay, point taken,” I said, but of course the risk of a dangerous man only made my ears perk up. I did love taking risks after all, and what was one more scar on my heart if it meant the possibility of feeling something at all?

  We continued the tour and I couldn’t help myself, I started to yawn. Joanna didn’t seem to like me, and let’s face it, she wasn’t a very energetic, interesting woman. I wondered what her performance was like...probably not that great if she was being punished by babysitting the new girl.

  We were headed over to the animal tents when a tall figure blocked our way. The sun was behind him, so it took me a moment to realize it was Cairo, the man who made me weak at the knees and my body feel loose and strange.

  “Who do we have here,” he asked Joanna with a charming smile. Now that I could see him up close, I took note of his perfect, white teeth and full, kissable lips. Oh, I needed to find out what those lips taste like.

  “Hey,” Joanna said, and looked at me, “this is Liv, the new ticket girl. Your dad just hired her.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Liv,” Cairo said and held out his hand. “I’m Cairo, but you can call me Cai.”

  I shook it and couldn’t help but note his calloused, strong fingers and warm, dry skin. It was a delicious handshake; almost electric with the little jolt it gave me. Something reacted deep in my gut, some animalistic reaction to his pheromones or something, but it was there and I liked it.

  “Hi,” I said. “Nice to meet you.” I smiled at him and congratulated myself on remaining cool, calm and collected in the face of immediate, overwhelming horniness.

  “Joanna boring you silly yet?” he asked. Joanna shot him a glare.

  “Not really, it’s all very interesting,” I replied.

  “How about I take it from here, Joanna? Isn’t there something you need to be doing right now?” Cai said, not breaking eye contact with me. I felt something there, something powerful and unnamed, but something that was unavoidable. Is this what insta-love felt like? Or was it more like insta-lust? Would Cai be able to break through and make me feel something? I hated the little shimmer of hope he gave me, but it couldn’t be ignored.

  “Not really,” Joanna said and crossed her arms stubbornly.

  “It’s okay, I’ll show her the tigers and the rest of it, then take her to security to pick up her photo card,” Cai insisted.

  Joanna sighed and frowned, “Whatever. If your dad flips his shit, it’s on you.” She stomped away.

  “I hope I didn’t just get into trouble here,” I said and watched Joanna’s retreating form.

  “Not at all, she just loves rules and discipline. I can tell that you, however, aren’t that kind of girl. I figured I should be a gentleman and rescue you from boredom,” he said and shot me a smile that melted my insides. Damn.

  “Why thank you, Sir,” I smiled and hooked my hand on his arm when he offered it. I somehow managed to suppress a shiver of delight at his touch.

  “Have you ever been to a Freakshow?” he asked on the way to the animal tent.

  “Never,” I said. “What do you do here?”

  “I’m a fire breather,” he said and laughed when I glanced at him suspiciously.

  “What about the beard?” I asked. “Doesn’t it ever go up in flames?”

  “Not unless I fuck up,” he said with a grin. “But seriously, I just swallow the fire and blow it out, it never comes near my face technically. Just my lips.”

  I stared up...way up...at those lips, they were so luscious I had the sudden vision of myself grinding on the front of him, sucking and nibbling those amazing lips.

  I mentally gave my head a shake and cleared the thought before replying, “Oh, but it still sounds very dangerous.”

  “It can be, but I like danger. You could say it’s my middle name,” he smiled at me and winked. I blushed and looked away, suddenly extremely interested in the tent we were approaching in order to avoid looking at his gorgeous smile. His teeth really were perfect.

  “I believe it,” I replied and walked under his arm as he lifted the tent flap back for me. His scent drifted over me, it was masculine and he smelled powerful, musky and earthy. It didn’t even make sense to me, but he smelled like he would fuck me hard and drag me back to his cave. He smelled primal.

  And I liked it, I really, really liked it.

  Normally I didn’t go for meatheads and cavemen types, but with that body and those lips, I decided I’d take Cai any way I could get him.

  The good thing about this job being a short term thing for me was that I could maybe fool around without getting too attached. It was perfect.

  “Careful, I don’t know if the sweepers have been through yet,” he said and held his arm out in front of me to block my way as our eyes adjusted to the light.

  “I think I can handle a little sawdust,” I replied and lifted my booted foot to showcase my best pair of Docs.

  “They’re nice,” he said and smiled at me in the dim light. His teeth glowed, making him seem predatory, again like a wolf. I saw the resemblance to his father just then. “But I don’t think they’d survive a fresh, steaming pile of elephant shit.”

  “Oh,” I said and caught his meaning. I blushed and was grateful he couldn’t see my red cheeks at the moment.

  “I want to introduce you to the trainer. He handles the lions, tiger and–”

  “–bears, oh my?” I giggled behind him. He turned and raised a brow and I immediately felt ridiculous for making such a stupid joke.

  “That’s pretty clever,” he laughed and continued into a large, open area. It was circular, brightly lit, and had a tall wall surrounding the training area. Several platforms, large, brightly coloured balls and hoops were scattered here and there.

  “Alexi?” Cai called, “is anyone home?”

  “Right here,” a male voice replied and the trainer stepped into the light with a tiger on either side of him. I had never been so close to a wild animal, not even on the farm back home. I gasped, stepped back and grabbed Cai’s arm out of instinct.

  “Hold still and watch Alexi work his magic,” Cai said and placed his hand over mine. He turned slightly towards me so we were almost facing each other in the brightly lit training tent. I watched Alexi give the big cats commands, they obeyed with precision, and in all honesty I wasn’t that terrified at the moment. Still, I didn’t want to pull my hand away, didn’t want to admit that my heart was pounding at his touch, not the tigers, and didn’t want our intimacy to end.

  I finally realized the little performance had come to a halt and reluctantly took my hand back. I could feel the weight of his hand on my flesh, signaling like a fire in spite of my lack of feeling...somehow his touch got through.

  Get ahold of yourself Liv, I thought, not understanding where this lack of control was coming from. I wasn’t prone to flights of fancy in the real world, had the Cirque drawn me into some alternate reality where I was considered normal and had daydreams about kissing the boss’s son?

  “Now we test your mettle,” he said and shot me a sly smile. We walked to the centre where Alexi had the two tigers, each on a
round platform. He was standing in between the cats in what appeared to be riding breeches and a black shirt. He was shorter than Cai, but a little taller than me. He had sparkling blue eyes, grey hair and a barrel chest. His face was lined with wrinkles that indicated he’d lived a life full of humour.

  He smiled, bowed, shook Cai’s hand, and turned to me. “Pleased to meet you,” he said, “I am Alexi. These are my animals.”

  “They are gorgeous,” I replied, “and my name is Olivia...Liv for short.”

  “What a whimsical name,” Alexi said, “charming.”

  “Thank you,” I replied, “are all the animals yours?”

  “Yes,” he said, “I bring them all with me. I trained in Moscow and came to Canada twenty years ago to be a plumber, but couldn’t get the circus out of my blood. Ten years ago Cairo’s father took a chance on me and I’ve never looked back.”

  “That seems like a long time to be traveling around,” I said but saw a certain appeal. I myself hated commitments, as evidenced by Jason being my longest relationship and that had only been a few months. And we all knew how that ended, him and my best friend humping like dogs in heat when they thought I was at work.

  “It is, but it’s the life you want, or the life you’re not used to. Either way the first few months makes or breaks most folks.”

  “That’s actually why I brought you here,” Cai said, “to see how you reacted around the tigers. Well, that and to have a reason for you to grab onto me and gasp like a nineteen fifties film starlet.” He reached out and stroked the ears of the nearest big cat, it dipped its head in complete submission to him. I was impressed at how subdued they were around him, as though they recognized him as alpha.

  I also hoped he didn’t notice my blush this time, but I went even redder when I caught Alexi’s raised brow, watching me watching Cairo. “So did I pass?” I asked.

  “Definitely. You’ll do well working here. You wouldn’t believe how many people panic next to the big cats. You’ve done well, we need people who are good with the beasts.”

  “So basically if I don’t pee myself or get my face eaten off, I’m hired?”

  “Pretty much,” he laughed and gave me a sidelong glance. “You’re funny, I like funny.”

  I’m funny, and he likes funny. I felt a little thrill of pleasure course through my body. Strange how just a word from him made me feel so goofy.

  I followed him as we left; Alexi gave me a wink and said welcome aboard as we passed. I glanced at the big cats and swore one of them saw a pork chop on two legs when I got too close. Of course I couldn’t react at this point.

  The cat could take my head in its mouth right then and all I’d be able to do is crack a joke and hope Cai would touch my body as he saved my life.

  He thought I was funny, he said I passed his test. I couldn’t stop thinking about what he’d just said and I smiled to myself.

  I didn’t know how I’d become so obsessed with a man I’d just met, but part of me loved it, and the other part wanted to run, to get away from the danger of a man who held me in such thrall.

  I completely ignored the running part of course, and followed him like I was in the desert and he was leading me to water.

  I wanted to drink, and I wanted to drink deeply of him.

  Chapter Three

  The day moved slowly as Cairo took me from one area to the next, acquainting me with my coworkers and showing me the ropes. I couldn’t shake the gut feeling that there was something more at work, some kind of deep connection between the two of us, but ultimately I wasn’t one for believing in the mystical. Then again, the way he made me feel was undeniable.

  We toured the storage containers and circled around the big top, the performance tent, and went to the staff dressing rooms and practice area. It was another tent, but of course like all of them, the term ‘tent’ was misleading. They were more like portable theatres, the canvas was so thick it was almost solid, and the internal structure looked like it could withstand a fairly strong hurricane.

  They were probably put together better than my apartment back in Richmond, and definitely more solid than the ram shackle farmhouse I’d grown up in.

  “Here’s where you’d get ready if you were a performer. We’re like a big family back here, we ask for advice on routines, share information, basically give each other as much support as possible. It’s a tough job, and sometimes it can get you down,” Cairo turned to tell me.

  “Especially when you’re one of the freaks like me,” a female voice said from behind me. I turned and had to suppress my gasp of surprise.

  I was face-to-face, well, face to waist with the largest woman I’d ever seen. I was acutely aware of Cairo watching me, judging my response, which only added to the awkward sensations flooding my brain at that moment.

  I’d never encountered somebody so different from the norm, even during all my trips to the Children’s Hospital growing up. At the hospital, most of the injuries or diseases had disfigured people in ways that were expected but in this case nature had created something that set off alarms of, “Different! Different!” in my head.

  But, as my mom always told me, “You can think it, just don’t say it.” I mentally checked my alarm at the door, held out my hand and said, “Hey, I’m Liv. I just got hired.”

  Cairo approved, I saw his small smile out of the corner of my eye. I did a mental fist pump at having passed another one of his tests.

  “Hi Liv, I’m Lara, the Giantess in case you didn’t notice,” Lara said, her voice was deep and melodic and kind. I liked her immediately.

  “Oh I’m sure she took note of your lovely largeness,” Cai said, his own deep, smooth, voice full of mirth, “but Liv here is at expert level of non-reaction. Not bad for a normal on her first day.”

  I understood he meant that as a compliment, but for some reason it really rubbed me the wrong way. I wanted to yell at him and tell him that I was just as freaky as the weirdest freak they had performing. I had lived a life as an outsider, and I totally got the whole detached, aloof act, I had lived that fucking act every damn day of my life.

  But of course I didn’t, the other thing I had perfected over the years was to force myself to think before I spoke. Blurting out embarrassing information wasn’t part of my condition though, I was certain I’d inherited that particular trait from dear old Dad. He’d been the king of awkward moments, and although it made me laugh now, I was grateful I’d managed to overcome it.

  I also knew the knee-jerk reaction to his assumption that I was normal came from my own deep-seated issues surrounding the idea of what was normal. From the years I’d been teased at school and the years my sister had snarled at me, blaming me for the death of our parents, I’d struggled with my normalcy.

  I took a deep breath, straightened my shoulders, mentally shook off my anxiety, and said, “I’m seriously okay with it all. I mean I’m not going to pretend that you’re not like, what, ten feet tall? But it ain’t no big thing, as long as you’re a decent human being.”

  “Well, it’s closer to eight feet, and I can be a raging bitch on crack at times, but overall I like to think I’m good people.”

  “Then we’re cool,” I said with a grin.

  I could feel Cai’s approval and knew I’d moved another step closer to his acceptance. With all these hoops to jump through, I wondered if anyone had made it past the first day.

  We made a bit of friendly small talk with Lara, and then we were on our way. He took me to a seating area where we could watch the performers work on their act. He wanted to talk and kept asking me questions about my upbringing, but I was too enthralled by the people on stage to reply. This was access to something that would normally be beyond my budget, so I wanted to take in as much as possible.

  “You enjoying the show, Miss Normal?” Cai teased me when I didn’t respond to his previous question about my family.

  “Yes, very much,” I said and watched a family of tumblers working with a brightly coloured clown. I didn�
��t see anything right off the bat that was especially freakish about any of them. “So do you allow normal people in the Cirque as performers?” I asked and indicated the family.

  “We do and we don’t,” he replied. “They’re all normal in terms of physical oddities, but they do possess certain abilities that are useful for other performances. I mean beyond the general oddities of the Cirque, the ones you are aware of. A couple of them are sword swallowers, there’s a human rubber band too. See the older fellow? He can still twist himself up in poses you’d take an hour to get your head around. Each one of us are considered family, and we’re all together in this because of our individual qualities that keep us bonded.”

  “So if you’re not unusual looking, you can earn your way in,” I said, not taking my eyes off the performers, not wanting to make eye contact with him. I knew it was crazy, but I thought I might like to stay with the Cirque maybe a little longer. Maybe because of Cai.

  “That’s right,” he said and leaned towards me, “so do you have any special talents you want to share?”

  I looked at him, saw the humorous glint in his eye and felt red heat in my cheeks. “I might have a thing or two up my sleeve,” I said but didn’t think I’d manage anything beyond taking money and handing out tickets. I just didn’t want him to stop talking, end our orientation session, and forget about me the moment I was gone from his sight.

  “I believe that,” he said and winked. My face burned again, my body’s response to him was uncontrollable and completely illogical.

  After a lifetime of blending into the background, here I was figuring out how I could stand out in a room full of professional freaks.

  Those eyes though, those lips. I realized I was staring at him a little too long and looked away, suddenly focused on the stage.

  “Let’s take you to the ticket area,” he finally said, “then we can wrap up your orientation and get your training started.”