Tempt ME

by Mia Ford

“That sounds great, you do have to go to sleep right now but you can tell me all about it in the morning. Does that sound good? I’ll wait for breakfast and we can talk about it then.”

  “Okay, Daddy, goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, Son.” I kiss him on the head again. “I love you.”

  “I love you too,” he murmurs sleepily. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  I step back and switch off the light but I don’t leave his bedroom right away. I prop myself up against the door frame and watch as he slides his eyes closed and he drifts into a deep sleep which I hope brings happy dreams along with it. I don’t want him to know the horror of real life, especially when he has already been through so much himself already. Even if he doesn’t realize it yet, it’ll hit him soon that he has no mother or grandparents. I’m dreading the day when he asks me all about it. Every single mother’s day, I brace myself for the questions, but so far they haven’t yet come.

  After a while I give up staring at my adorable little boy and I make my way down the stairs where I will spend a long evening alone dealing with work stuff. Mostly, the things that Katy has given me to look at. There’s a whole lot of restructuring plans that I need to lay out for her by Monday, and I don’t want to fuck it up. She might think that I’m a bit of an arrogant asshole with her because there’s a lot that I just can’t negotiate, but I do take this seriously. I do need this to work.

  As I hit the bottom step, I make my way towards the kitchen and I grab a tumbler from the cupboard. I won’t drink much alcohol because I’m home alone with Liam, but I do need just one to steady my nerves., I remember way back when, I used to spend my Friday nights out in seedy night clubs, dancing away, hitting on the hottest chick in the bar, then it would usually be on to an after party where things would get really crazy…I never would have expected my weekends to end up like this. Me at home with my baby boy, wondering if I’m allowed to feel just a little bit lonely.

  This is why I’m glad to have Ally around, because she helps to starve off the loneliness and the sexual frustration, and she doesn’t want anything more. I don’t know if she knows about Liam, but she hasn’t ever asked. She doesn’t want to get to know me, she doesn’t want me to be her boyfriend, she’s just content to have fun. I can fuck around with her in the office, then come back home and have my real life. It’s like the best of both worlds.

  I thought I was content with that too, I always have been, but now there’s something about it that feels a little hollow. I don’t want to pursue things with her, but I don’t know if I’ happy to just keep fooling around either. I feel a bit dissatisfied with all of it, and knowing that Liam isn’t happy with me being away from the house so much either makes it even worse. I would love nothing more than to give him that full family unit, but how can I make that happen? Without Victoria, that just isn’t ever going to happen. When she died, she took away the chance for that to happen so now me and Liam are stuck. We’re in this rut now, and that’s all there is to it.

  “Right.” I shake my head and knock my drink back, before making me way over to the table where I have all my work set out in front of me. “Let’s get to this.”

  I rub my head hard and stare down at the white bits of paper as the words upon them start to swim in front of me. I guess I’m tired and weary with it all. I really want to settle down and come up with a miraculous plan that solves everything, but it just isn’t happening. I’m too stuck in the detail that I don’t want to lose my business. It’s almost as if I can’t see the bigger picture.

  I stare at my cell phone wondering if it’s too late for me to call Katy with some questions. She said that I always can, but it is a Friday night. I don’t know much about her but for all I know she could be out on the town living it up. I know most lawyers are too busy for a social life like that, but Katy might be different. She might somehow manage to be a kick ass lawyer and a social butterfly at the same time.

  I don’t need to call her, I tell myself angrily. I can do this by myself.

  The thing is, I don’t think I necessarily need to call her, I think I might want to. She seems to care about this working out just as much as I do, and while she might have her own agenda for that it’s nice to have someone who’s solely on my side. I want to hear her reassuring voice, I want her to tell me that she’s going to make sure that everything is okay. I just want to hear her whatever she has to say. I can’t believe I was actually disappointed when she came into my office instead of Grant. Now, I actually like her a whole lot more. I think I will always prefer her and choose her first.

  For a moment, I wonder what it would be like if she was here. I never invite women back to my home for obvious reasons. There’s no way in hell that I’m ever going to introduce random women that I sleep with to my son, but I try to picture how Katy would fit in here. Is this the sort of house that she would like, or would she think that it’s too much? Would she assume that I’m flash, or maybe she loves somewhere just like this? Maybe she earns just as much money as me. I mean, I guess not, but she might be wealthy enough. I don’t know why she would even be here anyway, what would she be doing? Working? No, that would be weird and there’s nothing else that would bring her here.

  I sigh loudly, I need to stop thinking about her. It’s getting a little weird. She’s just my lawyer, she isn’t the sort of person that I’m ever going to have even a friendship with. This is just a distraction, a way to procrastinate from what really needs to be done. I need to work until this is set, until I know exactly what I want to do.

  Chapter Eight – Katy

  “Yeah, okay. I see what you mean,” Evan admits with a regretful smile. “I guess that’s what I’ll have to do. I know that I’ve been a bit difficult to work with, it’s just that this business is important to me, it’s like my baby and I’ve built it up from almost nothing. I know that I need to downsize but actually turning that into a plan is something else. Seeing it just makes it that much more real, you know?” His face is a mask, but I can see the cracks through it, that run deeper than he’s saying. “But yes, if you think that’s right then that’s right.”

  I feel a little bad actually. I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting these changes, especially when it seems like he’s more invested in this than I’ve ever seen before, but I don’t have much of a choice. I’ve seen and worked with many business owners in my time and never have I worked with someone so dedicated before. It seems that the business drives him more than the money which is unusual. Still, sometimes things have to be said, I have to be cruel to be kind.

  “I do think you’re going to have to consider shutting areas down and I know the ones that I’ve suggested might be close to your heart, but they’re the ones that aren’t performing as well.”

  I watch intently as Evan nods slowly, my heart fluttering the entire time. I don’t know what’s making me so nervous about his answer, but there’s something strange going on inside my chest. I’m confident in what I’ve suggested, there’s no doubt about that, it’s just making him understand it.

  I need to drive the point home. “I’m looking at this from the point of view of the banks. When you meet with them to ask for more time to sort out your financial situation you need to do it fully armed. Having a strong plan that shows how willing to change you are is a big step towards that.”

  Evans lifts his eyes to look at me and as our gazes connect I feel a powerful jolt in my chest. I could try to ignore it, to pretend that it never happened, but if I’m honest with myself this isn’t the first time that’s happened. I’ve been feeling all kinds of conflicting emotions around him since I very first laid eyes on him. Sometimes I hate his guts, he drives me insane with his terrible attitude, but there are other occasions such as this one where I feel that maybe Robyn might be right. I might actually like Evan. After all, he’s gorgeous, he has a certain charm to him and a powerful charisma, and also, he makes little almost flirty comments that make me tingle all over.

  Despite the f
act that I know it’s wrong, quite frankly it’s a bit of relief. I’ve been stuck on the unattainable Grant for so long that I was starting to worry that he’s the only person I can be attracted to. I can’t recall having a crush or a tingly feeling with another person for years. It’s just a shame that it’s happened now with someone else that I can’t act upon my feelings with. Evan is also out of reach, even if he wanted something to happen too. We couldn’t even fool around to get it out of our systems. Messing about with a client is like the number one no go in the lawyer ethics hand book… the one with all the unwritten rules, I mean, it just isn’t done. I can’t start breaking rules now.

  “Good job you’re as smart as you are beautiful,” Evan says with a wink.

  From anyone else I wouldn’t like these comments that fly at me every so often, catching me off guard, but I can’t help getting a cheap thrill when Evan speaks to me like that. I still think it’s the lack of male attention that I’ve had forever, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. “What would I do without you?” he says.

  My cheeks heat up and I fix my eyes on the papers in front of me for a moment. “Oh well, I don’t know about that… I’m just trying to do my job.” I cringe, noticing how dorky I sound, but what else can I do? I can’t respond in any similar way. I have to behave myself. I suck at flirting anyway, so it’s probably a good thing. This man who undoubtedly spends every night with a different supermodel isn’t going to be impressed by me anyway. “Trying to save you your business.”

  Evan tips his chair slightly so his head moves closer to me so I can feel his breath tickling my cheek. That causes a ball to form in my throat as I’m paralyzed to the spot. I only have to look at Evan to know that he’s thinking some terrible thoughts. His eyelids have grown heavy and there’s a glaze over his eyes. Despite the fact that I’m much more plain and boring than he’s used to with my scraped back dark hair and my make up free face, plus this pant suit that doesn’t exactly show off my body, Evan seems to find me attractive and that thought alone is almost intoxicating…

  Knock, knock.

  Me and Evan leap apart like we’ve been electrocuted as someone knocks at the door. I can feel all the color drain from my face as I try to refocus my eyes on the papers in front of me. All the images and words written down might be swimming everywhere but I’m doing what I can to at least look like I’m busy. I have no idea what almost did or didn’t happen with Evan but then I’m glad we got interrupted. My brain nearly switched off then, I nearly acted on impulse, and that would have been utterly dreadful. I could have screwed up everything, my non-existent love life and my budding career.

  “Come in,” Evan calls out in gruff, slightly strained voice.

  “It’s only me,” Ally’s sing song voice rings through the office. I almost roll my eyes at the sound of her voice. She seems to want to make it very obvious to me that she has some kind of stake on Evan which is just fine by me. She can have him, I can’t. I don’t want him anyway, not really…

  “Oh hi, Ally, is erm…” Evans sounds uncomfortable. “Is everything okay?”

  “Oh yeah, it’s fine.” She steps closer to him, right up into his personal space which is a place that she seems to be very familiar with, and she brushes something off his shoulders. It’s a familiar gesture that makes my heart pang with that loneliness again. I want someone to touch like that. “I just wanted to remind you that you have that call… later on.” That seems to be some not too subtle code with them two. She’s always going on about calls. “I just wanted to see if you’re going to be ready or not, or do you need me to reschedule it.”

  Her words make me feel silly. I don’t want to get tangled up in some love triangle. In a way, I’m already in one – not that the other two people know about me – so I don’t want to add to that drama. Luckily, I won’t have to see Evan forever, he isn’t like Grant, so soon enough I can push all of this to the back of my mind and never think about it again.

  “I need to go actually,” I announce while leaping up. “I’m sure you are busy with all your calls.” I don’t meet with either of their eyes while I make my passive aggressive remark. “And I have stuff that I need to do as well. I’ll take my paper work with me and leave your bits for you to complete…”

  “But, Katy,” Evan interrupts, sounding a little sad. I shouldn’t be satisfied that he doesn’t want me to leave but I can’t help myself. “I thought we were going to have lunch later on?”

  “We were?” I shake my head, vaguely recalling a conversation about food but I didn’t think that it was anything set in stone. “I don’t think I can. I think we both need to take a break from this today and come back to it with fresh eyes in the morning, after a good night of sleep.”

  I’m torn. Part of me wants to stand my ground just to show Ally that I can’t be intimidated by her. I don’t want to play her game but I also don’t want her to win. On the other hand, the much more rational side of me just wants to get the hell away from this weird and confusing situation. I don’t want to be near Evan while he’s making me feel all odd inside, and I also don’t want to see Ally looking at me like I couldn’t ever compete with her even if I wanted to. I already know that, I don’t need reminding. No one would ever look at a drab old me over her. I’m irrelevant, but I don’t need to be reminded. I need to just go, I need to get out of here while I still have a tiny bit of dignity.

  “Oh, right, I see. So, we could just do lunch another day then?”

  This isn’t something that I need to have a working lunch for, I’m not a client that he’s trying to win over and I haven’t even really done anything that he needs to thank me for either. It seems he just really wants to take me for lunch. It’s been so long since anyone’s wanted to feed me that I can’t help feeling intrigued. I want to know more about Evan Debroils, I want to know more about what he’s like out of this office… if he ever leaves. He seems to be a workaholic, just like me.

  “Fine,” I reply while swinging my handbag over my shoulder. “Let’s do lunch tomorrow then.”

  Evan’s face lights up, he looks like a child who’s just woken up on Christmas morning to lots of presents. The sight of him makes my heart race at a million miles an hour in my chest. It causes a warmth to explode from my heart and to trickle through all of my veins. My mouth runs dry and for a moment it’s as if I can’t get enough air in my lungs to breathe properly.

  I cannot like him, I think determinedly to myself. I need to stop this now. It’s silly, I’m like a hormonal school girl. I’m an adult now, I need to act as such.

  “See you tomorrow then,” he tells me with a smile. “I look forward to it. Meeting in the morning, then lunch. I’ll take you somewhere nice since you’ve worked so hard for me.”

  “Great.” Oh God, he’s making my heart hurt. I want him too much. “See you then.”

  “Yeah,” Ally joins in through gritted teeth, reminding me that she’s here. “See you tomorrow, it’s been really great to have you here.”

  She hates me, but that doesn’t mean I have to act like her. “See you then, Ally, thank you. That’s very find of you to say.”

  She is another reason why I can’t ever like Evan, not that I really need a reason. She likes him, they have or are probably sleeping together which I’ve noticed every single day that I’ve been here. It’s messy, much too messy and full of drama for me.

  It’s much better for me to keep my distance as much as I can until all of this is over. Work is fine, lunch is okay if maybe pushing it a bit, but that’s all. If I keep this simple and I push all my emotions down, then I might just survive this unscathed.

  Hopefully!

  Chapter Nine – Evan

  Oh my God, what is wrong with me? I think with a smirk as I take my seat opposite Katy in the cozy little Italian restaurant I’ve chosen for lunch. This isn’t a date, it’s just a normal business meal.

  I know that, I’m not an idiot. Just because I’m paying for this out of my own money rather than the busin
ess expenses doesn’t make it any less of a work thing, so I don’t understand why I feel so giddy inside. Last night I could barely sleep, I just kept thinking about what it would be like to be alone with Katy in a much more relaxed atmosphere. I lay awake in my bed all night long planning what I would say to ensure that we don’t have an awkward silence. Then all morning I’ve spent wired, like an excitable bunny. Even Katy has noticed it, it’s embarrassing. It’s as if I’m on my first date ever! It’s crazy. I can’t work out why I’m being such a freak.

  Once my butt hits the chair, I cough to try and cover up the rapid breaths falling out of my mouth. I also want to cover up the noise my heart is making as it rattles against my rib cage, trying to burst free from my chest. I wish I could be as cool as I normally am, this suck!

  “This is a nice place,” Katy tells me with a thin smile. “Do you come here a lot?”

  I can see what she’s asking, she wants to probe if I bring a lot of women here. I can see why she’d think that because it has got much more of a romantic date like feel to it than what I really planned for. There are candles in the middle of each table, which are lit despite the fact that it’s mid-afternoon, the tables are small which means we’re sitting quite close to each other, and the high backs to the chair give quite a private, intimate feel. I suppose this is the sort of place that I’d bring a date. Not that I ever date. Even in the old days when I used to fool around a lot I didn’t really date.

  “No, I came here once with a business colleague,” I tell her honestly. “But I think we sat at a much bigger table, this feels a bit too close, doesn’t it?” I figure I should just address it so she doesn’t feel awkward. “Do you want me to ask if we can move?”