by J. Naomi Ay
"Don't you worry, Renee Jean," Caroline struggled to sit up higher as both Michael and I reached to prop her pillows behind her back. "A little hair soup won't hurt me at all. My word, you'll make the very best nurse unless you want to be a doctor instead."
"I'm not sure.” She blushed and looked shyly at the doctor.
"RJ," Michael replied. "I think you could be anything you want. Come sit with me over here and I'll show you how to read your Auntie's lab test report. Now her Co2 is at 28 which is fine. Her creatinine is at .61 which is excellent too. Her potassium is too high at 6.5, but I'm not going to worry about that."
"Why's that?" RJ asked just as Katie burst through the door. We all looked at her as if she had come to make an announcement.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt anything. I just wanted to tell you we'll be entering the worm tunnel really soon."
"What does that mean?" I stroked the fine hair on my wife's head. "Will there be any danger or discomfort, do you think?"
"It may be a little bouncy. It's best if you all stay seated. This ship ought to hold together, so as far as danger goes, probably not."
"Ought to?" RJ squeaked.
Katie squeezed the girl's shoulder and shook her head. "It's travelled in and out a bunch of times already. Don't you worry. Nothing will happen. Let's just make sure Aunt Caroline stays comfortable."
"I'm fine, Miss Katie," Caroline said and held out her hand to her friend. "I've got the very best care in Dr. Michael, and my nurses are both first rate." It was then that I glanced at Michael's face and noted the rapt attention in his light grey eyes. In fact, his concentration was on Katie as if a magnet had drawn his senses there. "You know," my wife continued. "You and I have been through just about everything while flying in space."
"That's right," Katie agreed. "We were Spaceforce officers and Girl Scouts too. We are always prepared and always ready, Semper Paratus, hoorah hoorah."
"Hoorah, hoorah," Caroline called and the two of them giggled like girls.
Just then, the ship rocked, and I tripped on my feet while Katie stumbled on hers. Michael bolted from his chair and grabbed her in his arms, holding her against his chest.
"Excuse me," Katie coughed now as the ship leveled out. Michael quickly dropped his hands. Katie pushed herself away, her face bright red. "I had better get back to the bridge. I'm sure Zork needs me to assist." She glared at Michael as she bolted out the door.
"Sorry." Michael blushed too. "I just didn't want her to fall down. I was afraid she could have fallen on top of Caroline."
"It's alright, Michael," I replied. "No harm done, I assure you. His Imperial Majesty is too far away to know."
"I hope so." Michael winced and scratched the bald spot on his head. "I've heard he can see stuff liked this from way far away. In fact, I've heard a whole lot of scary things about him. You don't think he'd kill me for catching his wife?"
"You're safe," I insisted. "Just try not to do it again, unless of course, you're really saving her life."
Michael nodded and headed toward the door. "If you're alright for a while, I think I'll go do a little reading."
"Can I come with you?" RJ begged. "Can you tell me more about the tests? What does it mean when her globulin level is low?"
"Sure, kid. I'll give you a lesson in blood platelets and plasma cells. By the time you get home you'll be an expert in hematology." He chucked RJ's cheek and tweaked his bowtie just for her.
"Cool!"
The two of them departed, leaving Caroline and me alone. My wife turned to me with a wicked expression in her eyes.
"Did you see him, Taner? Did you see the way he looked at Katie when he held her in his arms? I swear, I've seen that look before. My stars, this is like déjà vu."
"Well, he is the spitting image of Jerry Waldman."
"Nuh uh. Something else is strange about him, but I just can't put my finger on what it is."
"He is an odd duck," I laughed. "I can't argue with you there. Why don’t you close your eyes now and see if you can get a little sleep. I'm going to take this soup back to the galley and grab a bite of dinner myself. I'll come back to read to you as soon as I've finished."
"That'd be wonderful." She sighed and closed her eyes. "Read me a fantasy, a story about a handsome prince in disguise."
"I'll see if I can find something like that as long as the prince doesn't have fangs, clawed feet or makes it his life's mission to torture everyone around him."
She smiled as I kissed her hand, and then I headed to the galley where I dumped her soup down the sink.
Michael and RJ were sitting on the couch with their heads together. Discreetly, I watched them noting the look of adoration in RJ's eyes. I considered what Caroline had meant when she said Michael had stared at Katie in the same way. Luci and Joanne were sitting at the kitchen table while Luci showed off pics of her grandchildren. Joanne looked bored, and her face was a little green.
"Would you like a little more soup?" Luci asked. "Some more soda crackers to help you keep it down?"
Joanne shook her head. "I should go back and sit with Caroline. Isn't it my turn to be on shift?"
"She's sleeping," I assured her whilst taking some soup for myself. "Take it easy, Joanne. Otherwise, you'll make yourself sick as well." Sitting down at the table, I glanced at Luci's grandchildren. "Beautiful children. They look like you, Luci. Fortunately for them, they don't take after your boys or Berkan at all."
"Oh, Taner," Luci laughed. "You're so kind for saying that. Genetics are funny, aren't they? Why Joanne, I hope your baby turns out to look just like you and your mother. The two of you are practically peas in a pod, matching pearls in an oyster shell."
"What?" I gasped. I hadn't realized that Joanne was expecting.
"Taner, don't look so surprised. You'll soon have your own grandbaby. That certainly will perk Caroline up."
"Taner and I are not related," Joanne replied coldly and pushing herself away from the table, she excused herself and left the room.
Michael and RJ watched her go. I stared at my soup wondering if Caroline knew.
Luci sighed heavily and shook her head. "That poor girl," she remarked. "So much anger at such a young age."
"She's not always so mad." RJ smiled apologetically. "She's just having a really hard time right now. I mean, wouldn't you if the first time you met your mother, she was practically dead? Oh, oops! Sorry about that. I didn't mean to…"
"It's alright, RJ," I said. "We understand what you mean. You've been a wonderful help to Caroline, and your presence has made her very happy."
Dr. Michael grinned at RJ and then shut the book they were looking through.
"I think I'll go take a peek at our patient and see what the monitors are saying right now. Want to come with me, Dr. RJ? I'll show you how to run a cerebral scan."
"Cool!" RJ stood up as a scream echoed through the halls.
"Good heavens, what is that?" Luci cried.
Dr. Michael bolted out the door and slammed right into Katie.
"Why are you always bashing into me?" Katie yelled, as a second scream sounded throughout the ship.
"I'm so sorry," Michael cried. "Do you see my glasses anywhere? Without them…"
"I know, I know, you're blind as a bat! I think you're blind as a bat with them on!"
"Who's yelling?" Zork emerged from the cockpit. "I mean besides you, Goldie. Aw, fuck, Doc, what are you doing on the floor again? Goldie don't move. You'll step on his glasses."
Somehow, Zork picked everyone up including the doctor with his glasses, and we all headed down the hall to the area where the scream had last been heard. It was Joanne, who had yelled, as she pointed at the floor at a strange black object sitting there. It was small and fluffy with two enormous eyes and a pointed nose and mouth. Its tongue was out, and it was smiling.
"What is it?" she shrieked as the creature shivered, its coat seeming to ripple in waves. The appendage it had at the rear of its body wagged back and forth
in rhythm.
"It's a dog," Katie remarked while shoving the doctor aside as he tried to dust her off after their collision.
"What's a dog doing aboard?" Zork scratched his bristly chin. "Hey Andy? Have you any idea where we might have picked up the pooch?"
"They're coming through the worm tunnel," Andy's calm disembodied voice replied.
"They are?" I asked. "You mean there's more than one?"
"Oh, yes," Andy said drily. "The tunnel is wide open. In fact, I'm changing course as we go through."
"What are you doing that for?" Zork yelled, now heading back to the bridge. "Follow the navigation track I programmed into your system."
"Sorry, Zork," Andy retorted as another voice began to speak.
"Our circuits have been overridden by something else. We are heading into another dimension of time and space and sound. It looks like a lot of fun. I think we'll all enjoy it."
"Mandy!" Zork screamed. "Don't you dare touch that yoke. You know you can't drive worth beans. We need to take the passengers to Omega Centauri."
Katie bolted toward the bridge, calling to Zork to disconnect and go to manual, as a pack of dogs came barking down the hall. They were all little and fluffy like the first one. Alone, they would probably have been cute. Forty or more was a disaster waiting to happen.
"This is so weird," Joanne gasped.
"What do we do now?" RJ cried.
"Sit! Stay!" Luci commanded, although none of them obeyed.
The door to my cabin cracked open, and Caroline stood there clutching the wall.
"My goodness," she wept. "If it ain't my little dog, Sparky."
Sparky and all of his brothers turned and headed back to Caroline, who knelt and scratched each one behind their ears. She collapsed on the floor, so they jumped into her lap, and licked her face, wiping away her tears.
"Shoo!" I waved at them as I hurried to help my wife. "Go on, get out of here, you mutts. Get back to where you came from! Come Caroline. Let me take you to bed."
"Oh Taner," she cried as I lifted her in my arms. "If that wasn't the sweetest dream I've ever had. My little dog, Sparky has been dead since I was twelve."
"Was it a hallucination?" I asked the doctor as he checked Caroline's vital signs once she was safely back in bed. The dogs had all disappeared as quickly as they came. "Did they really come or did we all just imagine what we saw?"
"They were real alright," Joanne frowned and pointed at the floor.
"Shit!" Zork yelled from the bridge.
"Indeed," the doctor agreed.
"Blessed Saint," Luci shrieked. "Somebody clean this up!"
"Oh, well," Caroline said. "Poor little Sparky never really managed to be house trained."
"Andy!" we all called. "Please turn on your vacuum cleaner system!"
"Sorry," Andy replied though he sounded like he was smirking. "My vacuum cleaner system isn't working. It's in one of the black boxes that is still running defective code."
"I'll take care of it," the doctor announced and went to the closet to fetch a broom. RJ volunteered to help, and grabbing a mop, the two of them whistled while they returned the floor to an almost sterile condition.
"He really is a very sweet man," Caroline remarked. "I wish I had a sister who could marry him."
"Forget it," Joanne sneered as we all turned our eyes on Katie.
The Empress was coming from the cockpit, a worried expression on her face. She didn't see the patch of wet floor that RJ had just mopped. I slapped my head as Katie stepped, skidded and went flying right into the expectant Michael's open arms. There they were tangled on the floor once again.
"This is ridiculous," I moaned.
"Insane," Luci agreed.
"Something very strange is going on," Caroline laughed while Joanne just shook her head.
"How many times do I need to pick you guys up?" Zork demanded as he reached down and hefted the doctor off of Katie. "Somebody would think you were doing this all on purpose, Doc. We all can see you have a massive crush on Goldie, but the way to woo a girl ain't to make her trip all over you."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Michael stuttered, his face once again a bright shade of red.
"That's enough, Zork!" Katie snapped. "I wish the both of you would just leave me alone. Now, let's get down to business and try to get this ship back on course. Your bloody android has diverted us from Omega Centauri to someplace entirely different. Go downstairs to your boxes and attack them with a hammer if you have to."
"Where are we going?" RJ cried.
"I don't know," Joanne whispered and grabbed her hand.
"It'll be fine, girls," Luci declared and took them both by the arm, escorting them into their cabin.
Katie and I locked eyes. "Don't worry, Taner,” she said. “We'll figure it out. In the meantime, Michael, will it be alright if we're late a day or two?"
"It should be fine." He pushed his glasses up his nose with a finger. "As long as it isn't too much longer. Three days, well maybe four would be the maximum."
"It won't be that long," Katie assured us and turned to go back to the cockpit when the ship began to shake.
The engines shuddered and groaned. They made the most horrific noise before they slowed and then, completely stopped.
"Oh god," Katie muttered.
"Blessed Saint," I cried.
"Aw shit!" Zork screamed from below as the lights went out and left us drifting in the dark.
Chapter 13
Berkan
"Berkan," my father said interrupting my bath.
His face appeared on the screen of the vid above me. He displaced my football game which was in the last two minutes before the half. The Cougars had the ball while the Lions were defending. The ball was hiked, and a whistle was blown.
"Just a moment," I tried to switch the view so I could see if the Cougars managed to score, but my father's face burst into the center of the field again.
"What are you doing?" he demanded.
"Having a bath," I began to say. "And, watching a game while drinking a beer, which in my mind is equivalent to Heaven. What do you want? Why are you bothering me right now? Can't it wait until I'm at least dry and clothed? You're as bad as the Imperial Pain in the Ass who, thank the Saint, is now on vacation."
"I'm sorry to bother you," my father chuckled. "I just wanted to invite you to dinner tonight. Your new step-mother wishes to introduce you to your step-brother and sister-in-law."
"Oh, good heavens," I declared. "You haven't tied the knot and committed yourself already?"
"Not yet, but as soon as the ladies and the Emperor returns, we'll go ahead with a quiet family wedding."
I rolled my eyes and finished my beer. Then, I fortified myself with two more.
"Is dinner tonight in your suite at the Palace or somewhere else?"
"We are in Charlotte's suite as she'll be cooking in her kitchen. Be here by seven or any time after six. We'll have drinks and appetizers on the deck since it's not raining, and then we'll go inside for Charlotte's special roasted turkey and candied yams."
"What is a yam?" I dared to inquire. "Why would anyone make a candy out of it?"
"It's something orange and comes from Earth. She had them shipped here just for me. Apparently, they are high in anti-oxidants and vitamins B and C."
"Lovely," I replied and reached for my towel, ending my bath far too early. "I'll see you all tonight then." Then, I shut off the game, for certainly there was more entertainment to be had.
Dressing in somewhat normal clothes, just trousers and a shirt, I didn't even bother with a tie. I chose not to wear my Robes of State or don my Imperial Medallion, as I didn't need to impress anyone, I thought. Certainly, Katie's brother knew who I was, and it would be silly to put airs, or flaunt my station just for him.
However, when I arrived at Charlotte's door, exactly at seven o'clock, I discovered I was severely underdressed. They were all decked out for a ball, it seemed. In fact, Charlotte wore a g
listening tiara upon her head. Allen was dressed in the robes of an Imperial Duke. Stella was garbed in a gown that would have made Luci green with envy. Her face was tight and her hair even stiffer.
"Good evening, Father," I greeted Loman, and then, I kissed my future step-mother's hand. "Allen, it's good to see you and Stella, you are looking lovely. I trust you are all enjoying your stay here?"
"Lord Berkan," Allen replied, clearing his throat, his bald pate now bristling with implants. "Shall I fix you a drink? What suits you tonight, a spot of brandy or perhaps a margarita?"
"Vodka," I replied. "And I'll take it straight up. Better yet, just give me the bottle."
"Ah, Lord Berkan," he laughed and waved to the bartender, who winked as he poured me a neat double shot. "Shall we go out and enjoy the deck?"
"It is lovely now that it has finally stopped raining,” I declared, reclining on a chaise after tossing back my entire double drink. "I wonder if it is because Senya has gone away on vacation.”
"Who?" Allen inquired.
"Senya," I repeated. "Your brother-in-law, the man who has been married to your sister for thirty years."
"Oh, yes," Allen cried.
"You must mean Ron," Stella agreed.
"Indeed." I retrieved another full glass. "So, do you like our fair planet, Allen? How about you, Stella? It's been now, what? Five years you have been amongst us?"
Allen cleared his throat and looked pointedly at me, while Stella grimaced in her tightened face.
"Shouldn't you refer to me as sir?" Allen said, a smile plastered across his face. "After all, I am a duke, while you are only an earl. Is that not the proper procedure?"
"I beg your pardon?" I coughed on my drink and spat out precious drops, which I most likely needed.
"As we understand the protocols," Stella explained. "An earl addresses his superior in that way. Isn't that right, Allen, Sir Duke, my darling husband?"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Neither could I speak or respond. That I should address this nimrod fool as my superior was beyond comprehension. I fortified myself with yet another double shot and then I sat down at the dinner table fully loaded.