Apache-Colton Series

by Janis Reams Hudson

  Matt felt a tightening in his chest. “Going somewhere?”

  Serena paused and looked at him. “I’m going home. I’ll send Kali out with the wagon to pick you up. I’ll have her bring a cane so you can get rid of those crutches. Your horse will be at the livery.”

  “Just like that? You’re leaving? I thought you came here to talk me into going home.”

  “I came here to get you on your feet. You’re on your feet. You’ll come home when you’re ready.”

  Serena turned away and walked around the corner of the house toward the lean-to and makeshift corral. She refused Matt’s help with saddling the horse and shortening the stirrups.

  “Rena, don’t go. At least not like this.”

  She gave him a wry smile. “Don’t go away angry and hurt, just go away? Is that what you mean?”

  “I’ve hurt you,” he said quietly. “I never meant to do that.”

  “I know, Matt. Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”

  She tied the carpetbag behind the saddle and checked the cinch one more time. With eyes stinging, she hiked her skirt, revealing the pants she wore underneath, and swung astride into Matt’s saddle. She had to swallow twice past the lump in her throat to get her voice to work. “There’s plenty of food inside if Kali doesn’t make it out ‘til tomorrow,” she said without looking at him. “And Matt?”

  “Yeah?” he couldn’t keep the dismal tone from his voice.

  “When you get ready to come home,” she said, still not looking at him, “just send word ahead and I’ll…go visit friends in town, or something.”

  “There’s no need for that, Rena.”

  “Maybe, maybe not.” She looked at him them. “All I know is that I came here to make you feel better, and I’ve only made you miserable. I don’t want my presence at home to keep you away from Joanna. She needs you a lot more than she needs me.”

  “Rena—”

  “Good-bye, Matt.” She kicked the black roan gelding, and he sprang from his haunches into a trot across the clearing and down the trail toward town.

  Dust swirled in the horse’s wake and clung to the thin film of sweat on Matt’s skin as he watched Serena disappear.

  “Damn.”

  The little adobe shack wasn’t the same after Serena left. At times it took on the proportions of a huge cave, its emptiness rolling on forever. At other times it shrank to claustrophobic proportions, and Matt found he had to go outside to breathe.

  But at any time, anywhere he looked, he saw Serena. She was there before the darkened fireplace, or curled up asleep on her now empty mattress, or sitting across the table from him, or outside trying to chop wood. Or at the creek, lying naked in the crystal clear water.

  Matt cursed vividly, trying to banish the pictures and the feelings they roused in him.

  The nightmare came again that night, for the first time in weeks. Angela laughed beside him on the wagon seat. Abe Scott rode out from the trees and pointed his gun. Angela threw herself in front of Matt. Scott fired. Angela crumpled against Matt’s chest.

  Then, as happened that last time, Angela’s features changed, and it was Serena who lay dying in his arms, whispering, “I love you.”

  Matt came awake with a start. “No!” Sweat soaked his body. His lungs struggled for air. He tossed off the blanket and staggered outside.

  It was nearly noon the next day before Kali showed up with the wagon. Hank and Josh rode in a few seconds later.

  “About damn time you got here,” Matt growled.

  “My, my, aren’t we testy this morning,” Kali said with her brows raised. She nodded to Hank and Josh. The two dismounted and began loading everything from the house into the wagon.

  “Serena said you could use this.” Kali threw a man’s walking cane more or less directly at Matt’s head.

  Matt jerked and caught it just before it bounced off his face. “What’s eating you?” he demanded.

  “Humph.”

  Matt shook his head, then went to help Hank and Josh finish loading. After crating up the chickens and tying the goat to the back of the wagon, Matt took the reins from Kali and headed the wagon toward town.

  Matt gave the black roan a final pat and stepped out of the stall. Serena was as good as her word. Horse and tack had been right where she’d promised—at the OK Corral. But then he had known they would be.

  He left by way of Allen Street and ignored the burned-out ruins that stretched more than a block beyond the livery. Not much “ruins” left, actually. The air rang with the sounds of hammers and saws. The rebuilding was well underway. Matt wondered if the town would think to do anything about the lack of available water should something else catch on fire.

  He stepped incautiously around a stack of lumber and was rewarded with a shaft of pain up his shin. He cursed sharply. He’d forgotten to pamper the damned leg. He could practically hear Serena scolding him.

  He gripped the cane tighter and led with it.

  The next unburned building he came to housed the Crystal Palace. Matt stopped there for lunch. Afterwards he walked the streets, visiting saloons and friends. If he was honest, he’d admit to himself he knew the saloons a hell of a lot better than he did the people.

  He wasn’t sure he was ready for that much honesty.

  He didn’t feel like talking. What he wanted was a drink. Damn.

  But he wouldn’t.

  A shudder ripped through him at the thought of what he’d gone through to dry himself out—what Serena had gone through. What she had put him through.

  No. No drink. He wouldn’t go through that again. Not by choice.

  It was dark before he realized it. How long had he been walking around aimlessly? Three hours? Four? He couldn’t remember. Each hour seemed like the last.

  What was he doing here anyway, he wondered. Marking time. For what? But he knew the answer. He was ready to go home, but he wasn’t ready to face Serena. What would he say to her? How should he act?

  The questions were always the same. The answers were never there.

  After dinner, he wandered into the Last Chance for a game of poker.

  Kali greeted him at the door with a frown. “You still in town?”

  Matt glared at her. “Nice to see you, too.” He then took an empty chair at a back table and waited for the current poker hand to end. Kali had pestered him all the way back to town that morning about his going home. He might be a lot more inclined to comply, except for her damned belligerent attitude.

  He won a moderately large pot in his first round, then lost a few dollars in the next. That was usually the way it went for him. Because he didn’t really need the money, and wasn’t a serious gambler, he nearly always came out ahead. It was the poor slob who bet his last dollar trying to win enough to feed his family who usually lost.

  Matt was bored. If he stayed in Tombstone it would be the same thing night after night. The same lifeless faces, the same raucous laughter from Kali’s same girls, the same stale, smoke-filled air, so thick it burned a man’s eyes and lungs just thinking about it.

  With a grunt of disgust, he threw in his hand and headed for the door. Just as he reached it, the door swung in and Caleb nearly stumbled into Matt. It was the first time they’d seen each other since the day of the picnic.

  “Howdy, Colton,” Caleb said casually. “See you’re up on your feet. How’s the leg?”

  “Fine.”

  “Noticed your sister left town this morning.”

  Matt grunted and tried to step past Caleb to reach the door.

  “By the way,” Caleb said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I thought I’d go calling on Serena in a few days. I’d like to see more of her.”

  Matt had an immediate flash of Serena lying in the shallow water of the stream. I’d like to see more of her. He clenched his fists and turned back toward Caleb. “Just what do you mean by that?” he demanded.

  An expression suspiciously like a smirk crossed Caleb’s face before he took on a look of total innocen
ce. “Why, just that I’d like to spend more time with her…get to know her. She’s a beautiful woman.”

  Matt didn’t think about what he did next. An unconscious effort sent one foot back a half step and his right fist plowing into Caleb’s mouth.

  Caleb staggered into the bar and slid to the floor, a stunned look on his face.

  “You keep the hell away from Serena. No cheap tinhorn drifter is fit to wipe her feet.” Matt spun toward the door.

  “Matt?” Kali called.

  He stopped halfway through the door and glared back.

  “Where are you going?” Kali asked sweetly, a secretive, satisfied smile playing on her lips.

  “Home, damn it.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Faster! Faster, Uncle Pace!” Joanna screamed as Pace ran his horse directly at her.

  Serena grinned at Joanna’s look of total concentration. The child might consider it just a game or a trick, but Joanna knew Pace expected the best from her, and she would give it.

  In the past year, Pace had taken it upon himself to teach Joanna everything the girl could learn about riding. The feat they practiced now was one Grandfather Cochise had taught the twins years ago. To Joanna it might be a game, but to the Apaches, the ability to jump onto a running horse could mean the difference between life and death.

  Pace raced toward the child at an all-out gallop. When he neared, he leaned down and extended his arm to her. Joanna’s concentration was fierce as the dust swirled and the pounding hooves came closer. Her eyes were riveted on her uncle’s arm. At just the right moment, she jumped into the air, wrapped both arms around his, and sailed up, up, and up. Her short legs spread wide. Her skirt, with boys’ pants underneath, flapped in the wind. With a half-shout, half-grunt, she landed with a jolt right behind Pace on the horse’s rump.

  Pace swung the horse wide and headed back toward Serena. He let out a shrill, spine-chilling Apache victory cry. Serena laughed and answered with one of her own, then Joanna’s youthful voice chimed in, too.

  “Sounds like a bunch of wild Indians around here.”

  Serena froze. Her heart missed a beat. She, Pace, and Joanna all turned toward the sound of the deep voice.

  Pace grinned. “Well, it’s about damned time.”

  Serena smiled nervously and wiped her suddenly sweating palms on her dusty skirt. She glanced from Matt to Joanna. The girl’s wide-eyed look of wonder, of yearning, tugged at Serena’s heart. But when Joanna clung to Pace’s waist without moving, Serena grew concerned. “Jo?”

  Joanna hugged Pace’s back and stared at the man approaching them. He looked like…Oh. Oh! Heart pounding, she jerked into sudden motion. She scrambled down Pace’s leg as if it were a ladder, then ran to Serena and clutched her aunt’s arm with both hands.

  “Is it him?” she demanded breathlessly. “It’s him, isn’t it! He came…just like you said he would.” She couldn’t take her gaze off the tall, blond-headed man who watched her from a few feet away. It had to be him. It had to be! The scar…the bear claws around his neck. It had to be him.

  Joanna didn’t wait for an answer. She stepped forward hesitantly, suddenly more afraid than she’d been since the day he left home, all those years ago, when she was little. “Did…did you come to see me?”

  The big man with the scar on his cheek just like Grandpa’s knelt before her. His eyes looked shiny. “Of course I did, Pumpkin,” he said hoarsely. “Aren’t you my favorite girl?”

  Joanna blinked. A tear ran down her cheek. She swiped at it with the back of her hand. It was him! It was! Every­body called her Pumpkin, but only her daddy ever called her his favorite girl. Her voice cracked when she answered the way she always had, before he went away. “You m-mean…ex…cept for…Mama?”

  Matt’s own eyes filled then. He hadn’t expected her to remember that. He forced his response past the lump in his throat. “Except for Mama.”

  He held out his arms and Joanna threw herself at his chest. “You came! Oh, Daddy, Daddy, you came home!”

  Matt closed his eyes and hugged her to him, his heart cracking at all the missed hugs, the missed years. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks.

  The rest of the day and evening turned into a celebration. The whole family went wild with joy at Matt’s return. Travis got emotional; Daniella cried. Jessica, the little organizer, made certain everyone had a chance to hug the prodigal. Spence, the future doctor of the family, actually tossed his beloved books aside for the entire evening, although he did, much to his parents’ secret amusement, question Matt thoroughly on the condition of his newly healed leg.

  Through it all, Matt and Joanna clung to each other as if afraid to let go.

  Serena watched with a bright smile pasted on her face. Her cheeks hurt from forcing the expression to remain in place, when what she really wanted was to hide in her room and cry.

  She was overjoyed and thankful Matt was home. The light in their parents’ eyes, not to mention Joanna’s, made whatever she was feeling seem insignificant. But where did his homecoming leave her?

  In Tombstone, Matt had needed her. Now he didn’t. In the two days she’d been back, her parents had constantly needed her reassurances that he was all right, that he would be coming home. Now they didn’t. For the past three years, Joanna had needed her. Now she wouldn’t.

  Serena had never felt so adrift and alone in her life. She shouldn’t feel this way, she knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t help it. When Matt carried Joanna off to bed, Serena slipped out of the salon and made her way to her own room, where she quietly buried her face in her pillow and wept.

  “Come on, Pumpkin,” Matt said softly to his yawning daughter. “Let’s get you to bed.”

  “She’s in your old room, Matt,” Dani informed him. “Yours is now the next door down the hall.”

  Matt closed his eyes and breathed a silent thanks. He hadn’t thought of having to sleep in the room he had shared with Angela, but he was grateful someone else had. He wasn’t sure he could have handled sleeping there. Just entering the room was going to be bad enough.

  But when Joanna opened the door and led him in, it wasn’t bad at all. The room looked totally different from when he and Angela had shared it. It was now a little girl’s room, complete with ribbons and lace and bright yellow ruffles hanging from a canopied bed he’d never seen before.

  “Where’s Rena?” Joanna asked, peering back down the hall.

  “I imagine she’s still in the salon with the others.”

  “But she has to tuck me in.” Wide green eyes stared up at him expectantly.

  Matt suffered a sudden attack of nerves. It had been years since he’d helped his daughter get ready for bed. He’d forgotten what to do. Finding Serena seemed like a much easier task. “Would you like me to go get her?”

  Joanna smiled shyly and nodded.

  “You get ready for bed and I’ll go find Rena.”

  But Serena wasn’t in the salon with the others. He checked the study and then the courtyard before heading for her bedroom. He knocked softly on the closed door. “Rena?”

  Serena stiffened. She hurriedly wiped the remainder of her tears away. What did he want?

  “Joanna says you’re supposed to tuck her in,” Matt called through the door.

  Serena sagged with a mixture of relief and disappointment. He hadn’t come to see her, after all. Joanna had sent him. “I’m coming.”

  She opened her door and crossed the hall into Joanna’s room, barely looking at Matt. Tucking Joanna into bed was something she’d been doing every night for three years. It was a ritual they shared, a nightly hugging and kissing and prayers. No matter what happened during the day, they could always count on those few minutes together.

  But things were different now, with Matt home. Suddenly Serena felt like an intruder, as if she didn’t belong to this intimate good-night scene. She felt even more awkward when Joanna insisted Matt sit next to Serena on the edge of the bed.

  The mattress sagged under hi
s weight. Serena leaned forward to keep from touching him while Joanna said her prayers.

  “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. And God,” Joanna added, her hands clasped tightly together, “thank you for letting my daddy come home. Amen.”

  “Good night, sweetheart.” Serena kissed Joanna and gave her a hug. Then fled.

  After swallowing the giant lump in his throat, Matt kissed and hugged his daughter, turned out the lamp, and caught up with Serena in the hall. He took her by the arm and turned her toward the courtyard. “Walk with me a minute?” he asked.

  Serena fought a shiver and kept her gaze lowered. She didn’t want him to see what his touch did to her. He led her to a stone bench in the dark courtyard and pulled her down beside him. The night was warm, the air still. Matt dropped her arm and propped both elbows on his knees, then turned his head to look at her.

  “Do you know,” he said softly, “that the only thing you’ve said to me since I got home is ‘I’m coming,’ and even that was through a closed door.”

  “I-I didn’t…realize. I’m sorry.” Her mouth felt dry and her heart pounded. He sat so close she could feel the heat from his body. “Welcome home, Matt.”

  “Do you really mean that?”

  “Of course I mean it.” She tried to meet his gaze, but couldn’t. “This is your home. Where else should you be?”

  “But?”

  Somewhere in the hills beyond the creek a coyote howled. “But what?”

  “You don’t seem very glad to see me.”

  “It’s not that,” she said quickly. “It’s just…I thought you were going to write first,” she blurted.

  “So you could leave? So I wouldn’t have to face you? This is your home too, Rena. You shouldn’t have to leave because of me.”

  Serena scuffed a shoe along the smooth stone beneath her feet and turned her face away from his piercing gaze. “I just thought you’d be more comfortable if I wasn’t here, that’s all.”