Hindsight

by Jody Klaire

  Renee got out. Was she going too?

  “My mother hates them,” she said, getting into the driver’s side. She ran a wipe over the wheel and started to press buttons on the console. Instead of the cool map and things that were on there, now it just looked like the dash in any car.

  “Planes?” I got out, feeling my legs wobble and went to the passenger side. I pulled the things out of the dash, wondering when I’d learned I had to.

  “Too noisy.” Renee shrugged, still running her hands over the dash. She had hardworking hands. Somehow they looked strong, agile like she could hang off a mountain with them or perform some kind of intricate detail. Her nails were neatly cut but with grazes from our scrape in the warehouse.

  She met my eyes, raising her eyebrow.

  I cleared my throat. Why’d I feel like I’d been up to something? I concentrated on wiping down the door handle, anything not to look at her. “Ain’t half as noisy as bugs.”

  “You mean choppers?” Her voice held a curiosity.

  My cheeks heated up. “Uh huh, the things you fly are just big bugs.” I wagged my finger. No way was I meeting her eyes.

  “Now you sound like Urs.” She poked me in the shoulder and got out. “Next you’ll be competing about which is better, four wheels or two.”

  I followed her around to the trunk. She had a case that looked like she travelled a lot, stickers and stuff all covering the sides. If I didn’t know there were guns, vests, and all manner of things inside, I’d think it was.

  “Competing is your thing with her.” She cocked her head at me and I shrugged. “I guess there’s some things between you that ain’t for me to tread on.”

  “Tread?” Renee raised an eyebrow as I took the case off her.

  I did the heavy lifting. “Yeah.”

  We headed toward some small building to the left of the hanger. Aunt Bess stretched out her back and bent over to examine some flower growing at the side of the wall. Was she gonna take a picture of it?

  “You know . . . sharing . . . well . . . the sharing stuff,” I mumbled. I didn’t get why she just couldn’t tell me.

  Renee stopped.

  I tensed.

  Looked around for the danger. “What?”

  I gripped the flaps on the case. Ready to wrench it open. Ready to run. Had they followed us here?

  “You think Urs and I are . . . ?” She put her hands on her hips. Her frown wrinkled up her nose. “How and . . . how . . . did you get that idea?”

  What? I glanced around. No pursuers?

  Renee glared at me.

  I breathed a sigh of relief, peeling my white fingertips off the clasp of the suitcase. “You said you loved her.”

  “I do.” She stared up at me. Fiery, stormy gray.

  I didn’t get how I’d irritated her so much. I rubbed the back of my neck. “She’s beautiful and you’re beautiful.” Guess I sucked at being supportive. “You’re both awesome and, well . . . awesome.”

  Renee’s frown smoothed and her eyes twinkled. She smiled up at me. Her shoulders relaxed and she sighed. “I got defensive again, didn’t I?”

  “Kinda.” Defensive? I thought she was gonna hurl me over her shoulder for a second.

  “Urs is like a sister to me. I love her. I’m not in love with her. Sorry I reacted that way.” She rubbed my biceps. I glanced at Aunt Bess who looked like she was taking a picture of the flower with her fingers now. Guess I wasn’t the only crazy Lorelei.

  Renee started to turn toward the office.

  I let out a growl.

  She turned back around, raising her eyebrows.

  She knew full well what she was doing. Man, I wanted to shake her sometimes. “So tell me already, will you?”

  She cocked her head—bemused, wrinkled up mouth, twinkle in her eyes. “Why?”

  I slammed the case on the ground and pulled myself up to glare down at her. “’Cause, you’re gonna go live some place with them.” I wagged my finger at her. “If you don’t tell me nothin’, how can I visit?”

  “What makes you think you’ll need to visit?” She bumped my arm with her shoulder, a teasing twinkle in her eyes. “Maybe I have a thing for Mrs. Stein?”

  I knew my face twisted all shapes as Renee burst into laughter.

  “No?”

  “I’d drive you to Serenity myself.” I shuddered a few times, then picked up the case, headed to the door, and hit the buzzer. “I’ll miss you is all and . . . well . . . I don’t know how I can figure that.”

  I made no sense to myself. I was pretty sure Renee would be lost. I was crazy. She knew I was crazy. Aunt Bess looked like she was sketching the flower on her palm now. Crazy and in good company.

  “What if I did stay in Oppidum, theoretically, when we’ve retired and I’m bearing more natural highlights than I am now?” She met my eyes, glitter filled hers.

  “Think I’d miss you even if you weren’t in the cabin.” I shrugged, not knowing why the whole situation gave me stomach ache. Renee was entitled to happiness wasn’t she? “I don’t get it.”

  “I’m starting to.” Renee smiled at me.

  My cheeks were getting warmer and I didn’t know why so I pressed the buzzer again. “You are?” I was glad one of us was. “’Cause to me it sounds kinda weird.”

  Renee held my gaze, soft, gentle. “You think it’s weird to want to live with me?”

  Uh oh.

  She’d sock me one if I got this wrong. “No, I think it’s weird that . . . well . . . I’d miss you so much. I mean, I love Frankenfrei, I love my parents but I ain’t fixing to have them under my feet.”

  “Makes you feel awkward?” Renee stopped me from pressing the buzzer again and held my hand in hers. “Makes you feel a bit . . . different?”

  Where was the guy? Why was he taking so long and why did my cheeks and neck feel like they were on fire? I weren’t looking at her, I weren’t gonna get sucked into her eyes. Nope. It was some shrink thing. It was some condition—to add to institutionalized. Maybe it was change? Lots of folks didn’t like change.

  “Aeron?”

  I sighed. “Yeah, makes me feel like I got a screw loose.”

  Renee leaned up and kissed me on the cheek.

  “What was that for?” I stared at her. How’d me being crazy make her so happy that her aura was shooting sparks all over the place?

  She beamed up at me with a smile so warm that she gave me an energy hug with it. “Maybe Nan has it right.”

  A guy appeared the other side of the door, fumbling with his keys.

  “She did?” Nan was normally right about things. I got that. She was probably right about whatever Renee was talking about. “Why, what she say?”

  Renee smiled up at me as the guy fiddled with the locks. Her smile warm, her eyes gentle, her aura firing off its lightshow. “There’s hope for you yet, Lorelei, there’s hope for you yet.”

  Chapter 43

  FREI SHIVERED, EVEN though the heat was on and the seats were warm against her bitter cold skin. It was evening, the interior of the car lit up with its twinkling display. It was one of many cars that she owned. Most of them cost more than a large family home. Some cost more than a large mansion. This one was one of her favorites. The brand was sleek, inventive, and could harness raw power without compromising any other area. A workhorse of a luxury car . . . especially with a few upgrades.

  “Did we lose them?” she asked, hoping that she was speaking in a language Jessie could understand. Aeron and Renee appearing in her memory had sent a supercharged wave of energy through her. She hoped Aeron wasn’t suffering for it. She managed to turn her head and look at Jessie. Poor kid, her head was so close to the wheel that her chin almost rested on it.

  “Think so. I don’t know how. There was even a helicopter.”

  Frei tensed. “Did you see the color?”

  Jessie shook her head, her eyes locked on the highway. They’d left the city a while back, judging by the expanse of green. She caught sight of the sign up ahead,
Susquehanna River and Sugar Run Road. They were in Pennsylvania, following the river by the look of it.

  “Did it have a spotlight?” The police didn’t give up. There would have been stingers across the road. She had “runflats” on so maybe there had been and the car had taken it in stride. It wouldn’t have surprised her. She pulled down the flap overhead and peered into the mirror. There were no lights behind.

  “No, Miss Locks. It hovered for a while then swung away.” She shrugged. “Then the police all disappeared.”

  She frowned. CIG maybe? No, this wasn’t a CIG registered vehicle. Those who had run her plates would have set off the glitch she’d installed and crashed their system.

  “They left after the chopper backed off?”

  Jessie nodded. Frei felt a twinge of pain in her stomach. She tried to hold in the grunt, slamming her eyes shut and knowing the second she did, that she shouldn’t have.

  A door slammed shut in front of her. Its locks snapped into place. She let out an anguished cry of frustration and kicked at it. It faded and the ward reappeared again. She’d lived through this the first time. Why did she have to relive it?

  Her stomach creased her up with pain. She dropped to her knees, locked back in the role once more. She crawled toward the bathroom but her strength evaporated and she collapsed with the agony.

  “What is it?” Doctor Stosur hurried over, papers fluttering from her desk in her wake. “Where?”

  All Frei could do was grip hold of her stomach like it would rupture. It squeezed tears from her eyes, stole her breath. All she could manage was a whimper.

  The doctor picked her up in her arms and hurried down the corridor. She was placed on a hard bed. The room stark white, equipment on silver trays. The doctor felt over her stomach. Warm hands working over the skin.

  Frei whimpered then sobbed as a wave of agony stabbed through her. The doctor scowled and met her eyes, panic, anger, worry rippling through them.

  “Stay with me. We have to do this together.”

  Frei’s head throbbed, skin prickled, pain smashing into her over and over. “I . . . can’t.”

  The doctor rolled up her sleeves, hurried over to the sink, and scrubbed at her hands. “You have to stay with me. I need you to stay conscious.”

  Frei forced open her eyes. Her body burned. A new level of agony ripped through her and her eyes rolled.

  When she woke. She felt beaten all over again but somehow . . . better. The familiar surroundings of the ward came into view and she could hear the doctor’s voice. She normally only spoke in German to Frei. She maintained a different accent to everyone else yet she was speaking German to someone else now.

  “I need to speak to him. It’s about his girl.” She sounded worried, exasperated as if the person she spoke to wasn’t cooperating.

  Frei opened her eyes and shifted, only to wince as the drip in her hand pulled. She didn’t know what had happened but she felt like she’d been out for days. The doctor sat at her desk, no nurses present, no students either. Strange. They must have been in the other ward down the corridor. Maybe she’d had something contagious?

  “It doesn’t matter who I am, just get him.” The doctor glanced up. Her eyes softened. “You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

  Like someone had cut out her insides. Frei managed a smile.

  “Good.” The doctor’s eyebrows dipped. “What . . . no . . . well, go in and get him. It’s important.” Her gaze flicked up. She frowned, cut the call, and stashed the phone in the desk.

  “Stay asleep,” she whispered, picking up her pen.

  Frei shut her eyes. The door slammed open and she tried not to jump. “Nurse said there was a complication.”

  Jäger.

  She tensed up more, trying not to wince at the pain in her stomach. A sore pain. Not the agony that was there before but prickly like a wound.

  “Another bleed. We were lucky. It’ll take her past gala night to recover if we’re not very careful.” The tone was tight, the flicker of rage below the surface clipped her words.

  Jäger sucked in a breath. Frei could almost see the threatening look of disapproval. She didn’t want him to hurt the doctor. She didn’t have the strength to get up and stop him.

  Fear rooted her there, just listening.

  “That’s not acceptable.”

  “Then take it up with whoever hurt her.” If the doctor was scared, she wasn’t showing it through her voice. She sounded like she was trying to slice Jäger with it. “I advise that she be taken out of the school at earliest convenience. Her parents need to know.”

  “That is unnecessary.” Jäger sounded stunned and rattled. Was it down to being told Frei was still sick or the fact the doctor wasn’t buckling beneath his threats? “Fix her up to attend.”

  “That’s not in her best interests, so no.” The tone was icy, blunt, unyielding.

  Fear trickled through Frei’s aching stomach. She wanted to warn her, to tell her that Jäger would hurt her but she was frozen there, too terrified to move.

  “It is in your best interest.”

  Frei tensed.

  Jäger’s boot squeaked on the floor.

  Silence.

  Then a grunt, a yelp.

  Jäger’s not the doctor’s.

  “Try that again and I’ll teach you how to use it properly.” Icy, razor sharp, intent poured through the doctor’s voice.

  A heavy, thudding, thump rattled through her bed. She squeezed open an eyelid.

  Jäger gripped himself, whimpering. Blood dribbled from his hand. The doctor held the knife in hers. She stood over him as he crawled to the wall. “If you touch her again, I’ll remove it completely.”

  Jäger hauled himself up the wall and slumped against it. His grunts full of agony. He fell through the doorway.

  The doctor closed the door, placed the knife in her top drawer, and washed her hands.

  Frei couldn’t help but stare. It was so controlled. So . . . cool.

  “You should be resting,” the doctor whispered without so much as looking at her.

  Frei nodded.

  “I don’t know about you but I’m in the mood for a drink.” The doctor pulled a flask from inside her white coat. “In my family it’s traditional at a time like this to celebrate.”

  Frei wondered how often the doctor’s family had needed to stand up to men like Jäger. The doctor took a swig and held it out to her.

  She took it, sniffed at it, then coughed. It smelled like the stuff Huber drank.

  “It’ll grow on you.” She smiled and held it out once more.

  Frei took a sip. The liquid burned all the way down her throat. She spluttered and the doctor laughed.

  “You were calling Huber, weren’t you?” Her voice was hoarse. Her stomach throbbed and she touched it, only to find a gauze.

  “I had to remove . . . something. It’ll take a while to heal.” She swigged her flask again and placed it away. “And yes, I was.”

  “He’ll think I’m angry for not helping my sister.” She studied her hands, tears brimmed up and trickled down her cheeks. “I got her out though.”

  The doctor lifted her chin. “Is that why he hurt you?”

  She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Not the only reason. He hurts people a lot. He hurt the doctor before you. I’m just a slave. He does what he likes to slaves.”

  There was no trace of shock in her eyes. “The only way that works is if you consent to it.”

  Frei bit her lip. “How can I argue? I’m just . . . I’m just me.”

  The doctor smiled. “Yes you are and you’re no one’s slave. No matter what position they put you in, in binds or not, you are free in there.” She tapped Frei’s chest. “Never forget that.”

  Frei reached out as the doctor stood. “You sound like you understand.”

  The doctor gave her hand a quick squeeze and walked back to her desk. “More than you’ll ever realize.”

  Chapter 44

  THE GUY AT the airfield l
ooked distracted at best as he took Renee through a load of forms. I didn’t really get what they were talking about and took a pencil and paper out to Aunt Bess instead. She was really intent on the flower, still eyeing it like it was treasure.

  “It mean something to you?” I asked, handing her the pencil and paper.

  She looked up, glee in her eyes. “No more than every other slice of beauty nature sprouts up.” She motioned for me to bend down. “Look at the petals, the way they curl on the edges. The hole, here, where something nibbled at it. A little flower with a whole lot of story.”

  I looked down at it. I loved nature too. I loved the way the fields swayed in the winds and the green seeping up to a gloomy gray sky. “I ain’t ever looked at a single plant that way before.”

  “An artist’s eye.” Aunt Bess sketched away. I watched in awe. It took her minutes to recreate the flower in great detail. “Some folks would pick it, would press it, removing that little slice of treasure for their own purpose.” She shook her head. “I’d rather thank it for giving me pleasure and go on my way.”

  She walked over to a tap jutting out of a building nearby, picked up a turned over bucket, filled it, and headed back over. She watered the plant with such great love that I could almost see it glisten through the water.

  The plant shimmered like it enjoyed the offering and I leaned against the wall pretty taken by the whole picture. “How come you know how to drive like that?”

  Aunt Bess put the bucket back. “I had an adventurous youth.”

  “You did?” I could see that there was a big wall around her. She weren’t giving much away.

  “Shorty, there are some things that are best left where they lie.” She smiled at me. “What’s taking so long anyhow?”

  I led her into the building and the guy looked like he was gonna fall asleep in his coffee. “Guessing he had a late night.”

  Renee looked at us, impatience prickled through her aura. She was trying to be polite but I wondered if she’d reach over, take the forms off him, and fill them in.

  “I can do the flight plan,” she said in a sweet voice with a, “my grandmother could do this faster than you,” underlying it.