Hindsight

by Jody Klaire

  “Lorelei.”

  I sighed. Renee had her hands on her hips and her eyebrows raised.

  I looked at Frei who frowned. “Renee, spit it out.”

  “Jessie,” she said again. “Was an asthmatic.”

  I held up my hands. “She asked.”

  Renee kept her eyebrows raised and now Frei was staring at me too.

  “She did. Scout’s honor.” I saluted.

  “I’ve told you before,” Renee muttered. “You were never a scout.”

  I sighed. “Fine. I went up to take a shower and Stosur was trying to help Jessie to breathe. She reacted to the flowery shampoo or something.” I shoved my hands in my pockets. “She was wheezing so bad an’ I headed in, just to see if she was okay.”

  “And?” Frei looked like she wanted to throttle me.

  “And she wasn’t. She got upset, she’d been through a lot and I told her that I could help.” I smiled. “So I got her to ask and I got Nan to check and then I did what I’d been itchin’ to do since I met the kid.”

  Frei hugged me.

  She knocked me two steps backward with the force of it but Renee was still scowling. “And why are you exhausted?”

  “Long shift?”

  Frei let go and Renee stuck her hands on her hips.

  I didn’t know why I was bothering, I could feel that she already knew. “I started wheezing, an’ I didn’t want Jessie seeing so I went looking for you.” I nodded, hoping it would stop Renee socking me one. “I did but I kinda collapsed.”

  Frei and Renee scowled at me.

  “Collapsed?” Renee put her hands on her hips.

  “Yeah, so Stosur helped me into the bathroom . . . so I had a spotter and she is kinda freaked.” I held up my hands. “An’ I was gonna tell you . . . sometime.”

  Frei smiled at me, kissed me on the cheek, and sauntered off toward the bedrooms. I grinned after her, relieved that she wasn’t mad.

  “Sometime?” Renee shook her head at me as I looked back at her.

  “Yeah . . . when you were in a really good mood and maybe drunk.” She raised her eyebrows and I shrugged. “You like me better when you’re drinking.”

  She moved and I slammed my eyes shut, tensing for it. Only no fist made contact with my chin. I peeked open an eye as she slid her hands around my waist. “I like you all the time.”

  I breathed out my relief but it turned into a yawn.

  “Come on, Lorelei,” she whispered up at me and took my hand. “I don’t know about you but a nice soft, warm bed sounds perfect.”

  “You knew anyhow, didn’t you?” I asked as she led me to the bedroom and pulled back the covers. “The chocolate?”

  She nodded.

  “How?”

  She smiled. “Because you’re you.” She helped me into bed and laughed as I flopped back into the pillows. “And I wouldn’t want you to change, ever.”

  Chapter 83

  SUNLIGHT BROUGHT ME out of a deep sleep and I rolled over to see that Renee wasn’t on her side of the bed. I sat up, frowning. I hadn’t heard her get up. Guess I’d been sleeping heavy.

  I headed into the hallway and felt Frei lurking to the side. How long had she been waiting for me there?

  “You found my lock,” she whispered, leaning against the wall. “I know you and Renee saw . . . lived through . . .”

  “Yeah.” I ducked back into the room and retrieved the lock, wrapped in a hanky, from the dresser. “Guess you need it back.”

  She nodded. “I didn’t leave it in your coat . . .” She sighed. “It was before . . . I made sure it was in the biker jacket . . . after Caprock.”

  I smiled. Renee and I had slept, a lot, after we’d busted out the kids on gala night. I’d never thought of checking the pocket but I loved the jacket, even when I wasn’t wearing it on a bike.

  “I did it for a reason.” She unfolded the hanky and took the lock in her hand. “I was trying to keep my promise to you, that I wouldn’t push you away.”

  “You were?” I leaned against the wall, enjoying her attempt at openness. She was trying for me. Now I’d seen all she’d been through, I understood why it was so hard.

  “I want you to see.” She held onto the lock, squeezed it then dropped it into my upturned palm.

  Her head swam with the concussion as she watched the helicopter fly away. Renee had created enough of a diversion to buy the plane time to lift off. She turned around to see the kids all gazing at her like she was some hero. Every one of them had pulled together, a real team. She caught Jessie watching her and her heart pounded. When the kid had climbed to the top of the tower, she’d known something was special about her. It had been easy to get a sample. Even so, her hands shook as she reached into her pocket and pulled out the paper with the results on it. Foolish to keep it on her but somehow, it had given her the courage she’d needed to face Jäger alone.

  She was a mother.

  Jessie was hers.

  It didn’t matter about how, or why, Jessie was her own little girl.

  Tears filled her eyes as she soaked in the reality of that. If it hadn’t been for Aeron, for Renee, if they hadn’t loved her like they did, she would never have known.

  Aeron’s warmth as she laughed rumbled through her aching head; Renee’s smile floated in front of her eyes. They weren’t blood on paper but they were in her heart. She adored them, they lifted her, they were proof she could be better.

  How could she put that into words? How could she thank the two people who were closer than sisters? How could she tell them that they had shown her the way, shown her how to love, shown her how good love could feel?

  She took the lock she always carried from her pocket and held on tight, pouring every single ounce of feeling she had for them into it.

  They were her friends.

  They were her family.

  They were her heroes.

  I opened my eyes, and Frei was already walking away. I touched my fingertips to my tears. “Back at you,” I whispered through them.

  She half-turned, her icy blues as cool as ever. “Just don’t expect flowers.”

  RENEE HAD HER feet up on the coffee table in the enclosed courtyard when I found her. Maybe she’d needed space and a relaxing morning? She’d put up with me enough on the road.

  “You on your second cup already, huh?” Renee didn’t just drink small cups, oh no, she drank from a jug.

  “Ursula has the best coffee. Her machine costs more than most cars.” She shook her head, sniffing at her cup. “Worth it. Definitely worth it.”

  “At least it ain’t green tea or that stuff Doctor Llys drank.” I shuddered.

  “Decaffeinated?” She cocked her head.

  “Smelled funny.”

  She smiled and leaned on her fist. “It tasted disgusting.” She tapped the cup with her finger. “Which is why this tastes so good.” She motioned to a can of pop on the table. “You have your own caffeine fix.” She watched me for a moment. “You look like you slept well and you sounded like you were imitating one of Frei’s cars.”

  I yawned. Might have been why I didn’t hear her get up. “You look kinda rested yourself.”

  Renee nodded. “Amazing what happens when you can’t feel everyone else’s feelings.”

  I took a seat and opened the can. “You lost them in the river huh?”

  “And you got yours back.” She tutted and muttered “dimwit” my way.

  “So you are enjoying the peace and quiet?” I asked, hoping we could skip over the Jessie bit. I wasn’t sure if talking about it would make her change her mind and get mad.

  She studied me for a moment and stroked the pad of her thumb over my hand. “I have to say that although it was nice to be close to you, I’m happy without the constant buzz.”

  “Funny, I kinda feel relieved I got them back.” I drained the can, happy when Renee handed me another. “Guess I understand why they were taken away.”

  “Is this where you say things are clearer in hindsight?” Renee
’s eyes glinted with amusement.

  “No.” I snapped open the second can and fixed her with my best stern stare. “You makin’ fun of me?”

  Renee raised an eyebrow. “So you weren’t going to say that?”

  I shook my head. “I was gonna say . . .” I motioned her closer.

  She leaned in.

  Her curiosity piqued.

  “What?” she whispered.

  I took a sip.

  Her anticipation rippled. “What?”

  The sun was warm. My mother loved me; Aunt Bess had her kittens; Frei and Jessie were safe; Fleming hadn’t fired our butts; and Renee was smiling.

  I felt the heat in my hands, yeah, and I was freaky again.

  It felt good. It felt right.

  I met her eyes, moving closer until I could almost touch noses with her.

  She breathed in, her eyes swirling with questions. The rims of her irises caught flecks of sunlight, bringing out the blue.

  There was something special about those gray eyes.

  “Tell me . . . what?” Her whisper was raw with the need to know.

  “You really want to know?”

  She studied me, searched my eyes, her aura bracing. “Yes.”

  I leaned in and shook my head with as much seriousness as I could muster. “You got a cappuccino moustache.”

  Renee touched her fingers to her clean lips, narrowed her twinkling gray eyes, and I didn’t need any burdens to know what she was gonna do next.

  It didn’t matter, I still chuckled, a real deep belly chuckle, as her napkin hit me smack in the face.

  About the Author

  Jody has been everything from a serving police officer, to recording artist/composer and musician until finding her home in writing. She lives in sunny south wales with a “lively” golden retriever and other furry friends.

  Oh, and she has a slight affection for cake . . .

  Website: http://jodyklaire.wordpress.com

  Facebook: www.facebook.com/jodyklaireauthor

  Twitter: @jodyklaire

  The Above & Beyond Series, Book 5

  NOBLE HEART

  TEASER

  Off-limits. Hostile territory. A bug to plant and only one route in and out. I shuddered. If Renee and I got caught, our cover would be blown; Frei’s cover would be blown and I didn’t like the idea of trying to slip out of a house full of guards with automatic rifles, bad attitudes, and heat sensors.

  Calm. Renee’s thoughts fired reassurance at me. We plant the first device. She smiled up at me, pulled me toward her again until I was half-cwtching her, half-cwtching the wall. I weren’t real sure how she could breathe. Tracks whoever comes up and down the corridor.

  She pulled something out of her blouse. Snapped it to the wall. Grinned up at me.

  She placed her finger to my lips, pulled me over to the opposite wall. Odd place to try and judo throw me but I’d follow. Once again, she reached in her blouse.

  Did she have an entire tool kit in there?

  Her gray eyes twinkled with laughter as she looked up at me. Perks of being a woman, Lorelei.

  I raised my eyebrows. Nobody gave me that kind of bra.

  She smiled. Camera.

  She placed it to the wall.

  A light slid from the ceiling above us.

  Flashed red.

  Uh oh.

  Renee’s face drained. She glanced down the corridor.

  No chance, they’re already heading our way, I thought. One way in and guards were sprinting along it toward us.

  Renee grabbed my hand. Dragged me along the corridor. She tried each door handle.

  Locked.

  I let go of her and tried some. All locked.

  Renee hurried to the windows. No fire escape.

  “Call the chief,” a guard shouted out. The ratcheting of rifles. “Check the rooms in case they came back this way.”

  “Sir.”

  I met Renee’s eyes. They’re getting closer.

  “They can’t get out. They’ll have to go through us.” Said like the guard was ready to pull the trigger.

  Cold sweat trickled down the back of my neck.

  Renee gave me a calm look like we weren’t in a pickle. It’ll take too long to pick the lock.

  I glared at the door I’d just tried. Stared down at the handle. It wobbled. Why not?

  I barged into it. The handle buckled. Door cracked at the side. I fell into the room. A slave’s room: bed, chair, desk, lamp. Bland.

  Renee hurried in and over to the window. I shut the door and leaned against it. Pretty sure that if they figured I was behind it, holding it back, they’d just open fire.

  “Any ideas?” I whispered.

  “Too far up,” she whispered in her fake accent. “We can’t risk the venom in the spikes.”

  The guards grew closer. I got a flash of them investigating where we’d planted the devices.

  I met her eyes. She was trying for calm, for controlled, for agent, but fear was prickling all over her.

  Yeah, we were in a big pickle.