Go Naked In The World

by Chamales, Tom T. ;

How plainly Nick remembered the day his grandfather had given it to him, writing the inscription in the wrinkled old shaky hand. It was only a few weeks before he died. Nick opened the book.

  All things are hard: man cannot explain them by words. The eye is not filled with seeing, neither is the ear filled with hearing. What is it that hath been? The same thing that shall be. What is it that hath been done? The same that shall be done. Nothing under the sun is new. Neither is any man able to say: Behold this is new: for it hath already gone before in the ages that were before us. There is no remembrance of former things, nor indeed of those things which hereafter are to come, shall there be any remembrance with them that shall be in the latter end.

  Then his eyes skipped across the page:

  I said in my heart: I will go and abound with delights and enjoy good things. And I saw this was also vanity. Laughter: I counted error, and to mirth I said: Why art thou vainly deceived?

  Then:

  And when I turned myself to all the works which my hands had wrought, and the labors wherein I had labored in vain, I saw in all things vanity, and vexation of mind and that nothing was lasting under the sun.

  He threw the book furiously across the room. Got up. Went downstairs and made himself a drink. Mary was in the kitchen talking to the maid and said something to him but he did not answer. He took the drink back upstairs. He paced the room with an animal fury, the drink untouched on his dresser for a long time.

  Yvonne knocked and he answered crossly: “Leave me alone.”

  “Daddy’s home. It’s dinner.”

  “I don’t give a good goddamn—leave me alone,” he hollered so loudly that Old Pete could hear him downstairs.

  “Leave him alone,” Old Pete hollered at Yvonne.

  In wisdom—indignation. In knowledge—labor. In love—hate. In violence—relief. He looked at the drink. Now they say in this bomb—energy. Fools—mortals. Fools. Fools. Fools.

  He took a book from the shelf, opened it, read a few lines and put it back. He looked at his old copy of Look Homeward Angel. Took it down carefully, remembering now there was something there in the first page, something that had to do with everything he had been thinking about. Slowly he opened the book.

  Each of us is all the sums he has not counted: subtract us into nakedness and night again, and you shall see begin in Crete four thousand years ago the love that ended yesterday in Texas.

  Then he read:

  The seed of our destruction will blossom in the desert, the alexin of our cure grows by a mountain rock and our lives are haunted by a Georgia slattern because a London cutpurse went unhung. Each moment is the fruit of forty thousand years. The minute winning days like flies buzz home to death and every moment is a window on all time.

  My God! My God, he said to himself, thinking now of the newspaper account of the bomb being first exploded on the desert of Nevada.

  And read again: “The seed of our destruction will blossom in the desert.”

  Then thought of penicillin and sulfa: “The alexin of our cure grows by a mountain rock.”

  And thought of what Old Gus had said about: “Knowing without knowing, winning the race without running.”

  Nick closed the book and stood staring out the window, the book in his hand, for a long time. Then, quietly he put the book away and went into the master bedroom and picked up the phone and called Nora.

  “I read about it,” Nora said. “I wish you the very best, Nick.”

  “Can I see you?”

  She hesitated a moment: “Yes.”

  “Now?”

  “Yes.”

  “I’ll be right down,” he said.

  “I’ll be waiting,” she said without any trace of turbulence, and he remembered how she had touched his hand that night at the wedding when Old Gus was playing the lament in the darkened room with all the old hill people singing.

  Gently he hung up the phone.

  CHAPTER XXXIV

  WHEN you thought about it, with Nick engaged and Nora openly acknowledging to herself that she was in love with him, it was only logical that they should go back together again. There was a time element now, an urgency, and they intended to get all they could in while there was still time. They went out practically every night; though, occasionally, in the evening she would have to make a “call.” Then Nick would usually sit in her apartment and read and listen to records until she returned. He thought it odd that he felt no trace of jealousy now about whom she was with, though one night he visualized her being with Old Pete and had a momentary sense of panic, then called home on some pretense to verify his father’s whereabouts.

  Nick had taken an apartment in an apartment hotel on the near north side after a considerable argument with Old Pete. Pat wasn’t due up until the middle of September for Pierro’s and Marci’s wedding. Nick hardly did a thing at the office. He showed up later and later every day and left earlier and earlier. Old Pete was getting very upset about the haggard way Nick showed up and the hours he was keeping. Nick and Nora began to go to the race track a lot. They usually took a table in the clubhouse at Arlington and Nick drank considerably and when he felt the drinks began to gamble rather heavily. After the track they would usually go back to her apartment and clean up and then go out to dinner at some fine restaurant and later go to the Chez Paree or the Empire Room of the Palmer House.

  Around the first of September Nora told Nick he was beginning to get a little flabby and they decided to go to the track only every other day instead of every day. Nick began to work out at a health club and on those days they went to the beach.

  Nick had not stopped by Old Gus’ once since he had come back from Atlanta. Twice Nora had asked him to take her there but he had made an excuse each time and she knew he didn’t want to go. She never pressed him anymore. And they hardly ever had an argument. It seemed that now that they had so little time they took great pains to be considerate of each other’s feelings. Nora knew he wasn’t in love with Pat. And knew, too, not only intuitively but realistically, that he was nothing but a pawn in Old Pete’s hand. To her, his future looked as dark as hers and it was as if they both knew that they were soon to die, together, and were having one more fling.

  One day at the race track they ran into Pierro and Marci. It was after the fifth race at the clubhouse bar. Nick was surprised to see Pierro have three drinks before the bell for the sixth race. Pierro and Marci, however, were not surprised to see Nora with Nick. There would always be some kind of a Nora or Ellen, Marci had told Pierro, in Pat’s life with him.

  After the formalities, Nick said: “Nora’s helping me to have one long bachelor fling.”

  “Two months,” Nora smiled. “A two-months bachelor party,” she said with a kind of abandonment. “Nick’s out to set the record.”

  “How did you ever get Pierro out to the track on a weekday?” Nick asked Marci. “Old Pete’s been saying how hard he’s been working setting up his new office.”

  “You’ll have to come down and see it,” Marci said. “It’s really unique.”

  “I prefer he wait until it’s complete,” Pierro said. I think you’ll like it. Your father’s been driving me batty, though. He stops by almost every other day.”

  “I’ll bet,” Nick grinned. “‘How much does this cost? How much does that cost?’ The hell with him.”

  “I’m building a five million dollar building down in Atlanta,” Nick said. “A garage in the basement, then an office building and a hotel on top of the office building.”

  “‘I’ already?” Pierro said.

  “That’s right,” Nick said cockily. “That’s one old man I can handle. That is, unless the whiskey of this world suddenly runs out.”

  Pierro was smiling, looking at his glass. “Your father told me about the project,” Pierro said. “He said: ‘We were building it.’ “

  “That’s what he thinks,” Nick said. “But you’re going to do it. And, goddamn it, I’m going to give you the freedom you need to do it the way yo
u want.”

  “I think you would,” Pierro said, his fingers tightening around the glass. “As much as you hate me, in so many ways, I think you would give me that freedom.”

  Nick could tell Pierro was feeling his drinks.

  “That’s awfully nice of you, Nick,” Marci said and touched Nick’s hand. Strangely, a sudden tinge of jealousy winged through Nora. She dismissed it quickly with womanly control.

  “Well, it’s not only because I think he’s good,” Nick said, “I know he’s good. I don’t know why, but I know it.”

  Nora standing there, visualizing these new horizons, this new life, that these three stood here creating suddenly felt very left out. What business did she have with people like these? A whore! A common whore!

  Nick took her hand, conscious suddenly that they all had been rather rude leaving her out as they had. She managed a smile.

  “Where will you go on your honeymoon?” Nora asked Marci.

  “I’m afraid there won’t be any for a while. We’ll be up to our necks in debt,” Marci said. “But we’ll manage one someday.”

  “I was thinking of going to South America the first of the year,” Nora said.

  It was the first Nick had heard of it. He didn’t comment.

  “I’ve always wanted to go there,” Marci said. Ever since I read The Purple Land and Green Mansions.”

  “That’s not like the jungle I was in,” Nick said.

  “I’ve always wanted to go to Rio. My husband and I planned to go there before the war,” Nora said.

  “Well,” Nick said, “the war, she is over. The legions return. Now the question is whether or not we should bum Rome.”

  “No, not Rome,” Pierro said. “First Chicago.”

  “And you will rebuild it,” Nick said.

  “It needs rebuilding.”

  “I wouldn’t know,” Nick said. “Will you provide in this new city, this new Chicago, facilities for those who cannot see or have lost their limbs? You should provide for that.”

  “I don’t know why you’re so morbid about the war,” Pierro said. “There have always been wars. There always will be.”

  “Atomic war,” Nick said.

  “Each war is new militarily,” Pierro said. “Atomic energy will provide the means for a great new civilization. There will be no atomic war. It will be outlawed. It has to be.”

  “Nothing has to be,” Nick said.

  “Atomic war will have to be,” Pierro said. And Nick knew that Pierro, too, had given this new monstrosity considerable thought.

  “Are you betting the sixth race?” Nora asked Nick.

  “We bet every race,” Nick said.

  “We’re about eighteen ahead, aren’t we, Pierro?” Marci asked.

  “About.”

  “I’m with you,” Nick said. “We’re down almost two hundred.”

  “You don’t gamble like that?” Pierro asked with obvious astonishment.

  “I like to gamble,” Nick said. “I won twelve hundred here day before yesterday.”

  “That’s a lot of money,” Pierro said seriously, thinking that he had lived one whole year abroad on less than that. Nick never would know the value of money, he thought, and would never have to.

  “Don’t worry about money,” Nick said. “We’ll make all the money there is to make. More money than Old Pete ever dreamed of.”

  “Not more than he ever dreamed of,” Pierro said. “Money-wise Old Pete knows what infinity is, I think,” Pierro grinned.

  How different he was since he had been going with Marci, Nick thought. Christ, he smiles, grins, makes a joke, takes a few drinks. She’s all right, this woman, he thought, looking over at her; tall, red-haired, full bodied, august.

  “I’ll take the bets,” Nora said.

  They picked a horse and gave her the money and she walked away.

  “I don’t think Pat would like this,” Pierro said.

  “Or Old Pete. Or Old John Rakis,” Nick said. “It’s just not done openly. I mean it’s all right if you sneak it but it’s just not done openly. I’m not married yet, anyhow,” Nick said sardonically, obviously peeved, touched off by Pierro’s remark. Somehow he wouldn’t have minded so much if Pierro hadn’t said what he had in front of Marci. “I didn’t take any oath about keeping my virtue when I became engaged. And Pat didn’t either. And who the hell do you think you are? A director of the social-moral code, or something? Christ, Nora knows I’m going to get married—so what’s wrong?” He had, during the last sentence, Marci noticed, such a look of incredulous hurt as if he were truly being condemned for a crime he had not committed that Marci was forced to laugh her most infectious laugh.

  “Shit,” she said, “Nick,” she laughed on, “you’re so full of it. It’s funny.”

  Nick began to laugh too.

  “I really don’t think it’s very considerate carrying on like this publicly,” Pierro said. “I mean as far as the family is concerned.”

  “Oh, come off it,” Nick said.

  God, Marci was thinking, but Pierro was such a snob at times. Really. Well, she’d get him over that. In time, she’d get him over it. Marci and Pierro left after the seventh race.

  Two nights later Nora and Nick were at the Chez Paree watching Joe E. Lewis. Nick had dropped eight hundred at the track that day. Lou Duck dropped by the bar to have a drink and saw them sitting at a table and next day called Old Pete and told him. Old Pete paced his office quite a while then called a friend of his down at City Hall. Three days later, on a “call” at the Fox Hotel, Nora was picked up by the vice squad for “soliciting” and held on five thousand dollars bail. She was bailed out immediately after the hearing by “unknown persons” the paper said. The very same afternoon the clerk at Nick’s apartment hotel informed him that one of his checks bounced—”insufficient funds.” And he realized he was broke. He knew he couldn’t go to Old Pete for any money without giving him an explanation. So he went to young George Stratos who was to be best man (it was good business Old Pete and Nick had decided) at Nick’s wedding Nick knew George was a heavy gambler and would understand Nicks predicament. George was only too glad to lend Nick the money and swore he wouldn’t say anything to anyone. The truth of the matter was that young George didn’t have the twenty-five hundred in cash that Nick wanted and wen to Charlie for the money. Charlie demanded an explanation and easily pried it out of George. They both decided however, it would be better not to tell Old Pete. “You tell him, Nick,” Charlie said, “that if he needs any more don’t hesitate to ask. In fact, give him three thousand. It ain’t gonna hurt none to have him obligated. But make him sign a note, you hear? He’ll sign it, don’t worry.”

  Yvonne saw the papers first and tried to keep them from Mary. But Mary had a phone call and, after the call, demanded Yvonne go get all the papers. Mary cried reading the papers. Nick called home and Yvonne answered.

  “Did you see the papers?” Yvonne asked.

  “What about them?” Nick asked.

  “Didn’t you read about Nora?”

  “No, what happened?”

  “You better get a paper. Your sweet ‘lady’ is about the biggest call girl in town.”

  “I found that out some time ago,” Nick said. “That’s why we broke up.”

  “You’d better not talk to Mother, she’s very upset. The phone’s been ringing like mad.”

  “Christ,” Nick said, “I didn’t do anything. I didn’t know what she was when she went to the wedding with me.”

  “No, I don’t think you did.”

  Nick had a quick drink after he talked to Yvonne. While he was having the drink in the bar of the Field Building, after just having seen George Stratos about the money, Lawrence Green, the banker, walked in. Nick invited him over for a cocktail.

  “I’m buying this one,” Green said, “or I’m not having one. I haven’t seen you since you became engaged. One for your good luck.”

  “Fine,” Nick said.

  “Looks like you’re going to b
e a wealthy man,” Green said.

  “I’ve got nothing against money,” Nick said.

  Green grinned. He really liked Nick. Nick never acted it out with him like Old Pete or the Stratos brothers or the other Greeks he did business with.

  “I hear she’s beautiful, too,” Green said. “And intelligent. That’s a rare combination.”

  “You don’t believe what the Greeks tell you, now do you?” Nick grinned. “Well, in this case, they’re not padding it. She’s got it all.”

  “What have you got against the Greeks?” Green asked.

  “Not a thing except that they’re too Greeky. I’m proud of my Greek blood but I’m American, too. It’s funny about Greeks, immigrant Greeks,” Nick said. “They only trust each other—then they end up screwing each other. They’re narrow. You don’t give a damn who you lend money to, do you? As long as it seems a good risk. I’m sure you don’t. I’m sure you wouldn’t favor a Jew just because you’re a Jew. But there’re lots of Jews who would. That’s narrowness.”

  Lawrence Green laughed his distinguished laugh. “Your father could learn a few things from you, I think. You should do big things down in Atlanta,” Green said. “I’ve a few holdings down there myself.”

  “Is there any place you don’t have a few holdings?”

  “Atlanta’s a coming town. We should get together, Nick. I think we can help each other.”

  “I’d like to work with you,” Nick said sincerely.

  “Why don’t we have lunch some day? Just you and me,” the banker said.

  “Tomorrow?” Nick said.

  “Fine. Why don’t you come down to my office? We’ll go from there.”

  They made an appointment for one o’clock.

  “You know that idea about building a hotel on top of an office building—” Green said. “Your father told me about it.”

  “I think it’s a hell of an idea,” Nick said. “But I think there’s one thing wrong with it. I think the office building should be on top of the hotel.”

  Green studied Nick with his shrewd green eyes for a moment. “Why do you think that, Nick?”

  “One of the most disturbing things that can happen to a hotel guest, in my opinion, is to have a long wait or a long ride on an elevator. It’s different in an office. A lot different. Besides, it’s not natural to go up twenty flights to eat or drink or banquet. It’s premature for this day and age. We’re all in too much of a hurry. We have an urgency from the war that will not end abruptly as the war has now ended though the pace hasn’t ended with it. Maybe, in years to come when we have much leisure, such a hotel would be all right. That’s just my opinion,” Nick said.