by Diane Burke
Sam’s breath caught in his throat. Sarah had missed him. Sarah had had as much trouble letting go of him as he had of her. Maybe there was hope.
“What are you asking of me, Rebecca?” The pain in Jacob’s voice was evident in the harshness of his tone.
“I’m asking you to love her, Jacob...as much as she has come to love us. I am asking you to love her enough to let her go...to let her find her heart again...to let her be happy. Hasn’t she been through enough? Isn’t it selfish to keep her here when we know her heart is elsewhere?”
“But the boppli...”
“I know, Jacob. I know.” Rebecca’s voice choked on sobs. “But she is not happy, and without Samuel I don’t believe she ever will be.”
As Benjamin and Sam slowly moved forward, they saw Jacob throw his shovel to the ground.
“What you are asking of me is too much. If she leaves, we must shun her. We could not speak to her again. We would have to turn away if we passed her on the street. We would lose Sarah forever, just as we lost Peter, and we would lose our only grandchild. I cannot, Rebecca. I cannot do this.”
Rebecca stepped into his arms and held him tightly. “But you will, Jacob. You will let her go because you love her. You will let her go because it is what is best for Sarah.”
Sam’s throat constricted, and his admiration and affection for this couple grew. He saw the tears and pain etched deeply in Jacob’s expression, and it tore at his heart.
“Perhaps there is another way.”
Jacob and Rebecca startled at the sound of Benjamin’s voice and stepped apart.
Benjamin entered the stall with Sam close behind. “Excuse us for this surprise visit, Bishop, but I believe what I have to say might help.”
Jacob blinked in surprise. “Benjamin, what is this about?”
He glanced between the two men. “What are the two of you doing here?”
“Forgive me for the intrusion in what is obviously a private conversation, but I think it is time to speak the truth,” Benjamin said.
“What truth?” Rebecca asked.
“The truth that we all lost Sarah the day we lost Peter.”
Rebecca gasped, and her hand flew to cover her mouth.
“It’s true.” Benjamin hurried to finish what he wanted to say. “Do not misunderstand me. We love this Sarah. She is kind and sweet and loving. But she is not the same woman who stepped into the schoolroom that day. She has no memories of that Sarah. She has no memories of us or our way of life. All of us have watched and waited for many months for that woman to return, and she hasn’t.”
Benjamin stepped forward and placed a comforting hand on Jacob’s shoulder. “You know I speak the truth. This is a new woman—in Sarah’s body, ya—but it is not the Sarah we knew. It is not the woman who was married to Peter. It is not an Amish woman.”
Jacob opened his mouth to protest, but Benjamin raised his hand to stop him.
“Listen to me, Jacob. She speaks Englisch and can only remember some words of our language. She attends our services but can’t participate because she does not understand the words of the songs or service. She is not Amish, Jacob. She is Englisch. She was born and raised Englisch. And after the shooting...” Benjamin looked steadily into Jacob’s eyes. “It is the Englisch woman who came back to us.”
“What are you saying?” Jacob shook his head and stepped away from the three of them, his expression showing how hard he was trying to deny what he knew he had to do. “You are telling me that I should let her go? That I should shun her?”
Benjamin smiled widely. “We do not shun the Englisch, Jacob. We befriend them. We welcome them into our homes for visits. We welcome them to join us in our services and gatherings, ya?”
A smile creased Rebecca’s face as understanding dawned on her. “And this would be acceptable to the community, Benjamin?”
“Forgive me, but I have already taken the liberty to speak to the elders. They agree that the woman residing in Sarah’s body is more Englisch than Amish. They love her but...” Benjamin shrugged his shoulders. “If God has wiped away her memory, if God has erased the Amish part of her and replaced it with her Englisch roots, then it must be God’s will, ya? And who are we to question God’s will?”
All four adults stood in silence as each processed the conversation.
Sam’s heart pounded so hard in his chest, he thought it might burst. This was it. The moment of truth. If the bishop and the elders decreed that Sarah was not Amish but Englisch, then they would not have to shun her. She could remain an active part of their lives.
Hope filled every pore of his body. Sam bowed his head and prayed. He prayed harder than he had ever prayed before. And he waited.
When an eternity seemed to pass, Rebecca clasped her husband’s hand. “Jacob?” Her eyes never left his face as she waited for his answer.
Jacob brushed the tears from his face. “It is true that Sarah was born and raised an Englisch child.” He turned to face them. “It is also true that since that horrible day in the school, she has no memory of the Amish ways. She does speak the Englisch language well, and she struggles to learn ours. It is true that she loves God, but she does not know or understand our Ordnung, our Amish rules and laws.”
Jacob smiled widely. “What happened to Sarah was God’s will, and I will never go against God’s will. Sarah is Englisch.”
Rebecca flung herself into Jacob’s arms, and even though public displays of affection were frowned on in Amish life, this was an exception that all four adults could live with.
Jacob slid his arm around his wife’s waist and faced Sam. “Sarah is inside. I am sure she would like you to meet her daughter.”
EIGHTEEN
Sarah couldn’t tear her eyes away from her daughter. She traced her finger across the baby’s soft skin. When she saw the child’s lips pucker and suck in sleep, she smiled with joy. She examined the exquisite, perfectly formed little fingers. She grinned at the way her tiny golden tufts of hair stood up at attention, and she wondered if it would remain that way as she grew.
For the hundredth time today, she offered a prayer of thanksgiving to God for blessing her with this tiny miracle.
A light rap sounded on the door. She made sure she was properly covered with the blanket and then called, “Come in.”
The door opened.
“Samuel.”
The word escaped her lips as a gasp of surprise. Her mouth fell open. Her pulse raced. She must be dreaming. This couldn’t be real. Her eyes took in every inch of the apparition standing in front of her. The dark brown hair that still wanted to fall forward across his forehead. The rasp of a day’s growth of beard. The dark, compelling eyes that stared back at her with such longing, she didn’t think she could draw another breath.
“Can I come in?”
Unable to speak, Sarah simply smiled and nodded.
Sam fell to his knees beside the bed and gazed at the tiny infant held in her mother’s arms. The touch of his index finger to the child’s fist caused the baby’s fingers to startle open, and then they fisted tightly around his finger.
“She’s so beautiful, just like her mother.”
A warm, tingling sensation flowed through her body when his eyes caught hers.
Thank you, God.
Samuel had come. He was here with her on one of the most important days of her life and was meeting her daughter. Her eyes welled with tears.
“Samuel, what are you doing here?”
“Where else would you have me be?” The baby still clutched his finger, and Samuel seemed hard-pressed to claim it back. He glanced up at her, and the look of awe and joy in his eyes stole her breath away.
Sarah glanced at the open doorway and then back at Samuel. “Do Jacob and Rebecca know you are here?”
“Yes, o
f course. They are in the barn with Benjamin. They gave me their blessing and sent me in to see you.”
Sarah’s mouth fell open, and for a moment she didn’t have any words. When she finally found her voice, she could no longer hide the tears that flowed down her face.
“I don’t understand. Gave you their blessing? What does that mean?”
Sam grinned and placed the index finger that wasn’t being held in the baby’s fisted grip against her lips. “It means God has answered our prayers, lieb. He in His infinite wisdom devised a way for us to be together, and I will fall on my knees in thanksgiving every day for the rest of my life.”
He replaced his finger with his lips in a kiss so sweet, so tender, that she thought she’d never forget this moment of absolute joy.
This wasn’t an apparition. This was real. The feel of his touch on her skin. The taste of his kiss on her mouth. Samuel was here, with her, on one of the most important days of her life. He was crooning over her baby. He was smiling down into her eyes and stroking her cheek. She didn’t understand it all, but at that moment it didn’t matter.
“We have much to talk about, Samuel.”
“We do, lieb. But we also have time...lots and lots of time.”
Why had Samuel suddenly appeared at her door? How could he possibly have Jacob and Rebecca’s blessing? But Sam had proved himself to be a man of his word. For now, just seeing him was enough.
Overwhelming waves of emotion gripped her. Tears tracked down her cheeks like streams escaping a dam. But they were good tears, happy tears. For what could make this day more perfect than to be sharing it with her newborn daughter and gazing at the man she loved with all her heart?
She swiped the back of her hand against her face. Must be hormones setting off these endless tears.
Sarah quietly watched Samuel interact with her daughter.
“Hello, little one,” he whispered in the deep, caring voice she had come to love. His tender expression as he gazed down at the baby touched Sarah’s heart. When he glanced up, his eyes glistened. Hmm. Was he having a surge of hormones, too?
They spent the next few hours sitting, the three of them—talking, laughing, enjoying their first day together.
Rebecca had come into the room twice. Once just to see if anyone needed anything, and then hours later with a tray laden with sandwiches, fruit and tea.
Samuel took the time to repeat the conversation that had occurred in the barn. He told her that Benjamin had approached the elders, and after several hours of deliberation, they came up with the solution that everyone believed was the right one, one all could happily live with.
Once again Samuel fell to his knee beside Sarah’s bed. This time he wasn’t focused on the sleeping child in her arms. This time he clasped her hand and looked deeply into her eyes.
“I love you, Sarah. I think I have been in love with you from the very first moment you opened your eyes in that hospital room. You were so vulnerable and lost and frightened.” He grinned widely. “But you were also strong, resilient and determined.” He drew her hand to his lips and kissed her palm. “From the moment I looked into those beautiful blue eyes of yours, I knew my life was about to change.”
Samuel reached into his pocket, extended his hand and opened it.
Nestled softly on his palm was a simple silver band with a small diamond stone. “I know the Amish do not exchange wedding rings. But neither of us are Amish, Sarah. We are Englisch, and I would be honored if you would accept this ring and agree to be my wife.”
Sarah stared at the ring.
Was this really happening? Had God truly answered her prayers?
She smiled such a wide grin that her face hurt. “Yes, Samuel. I will wear your ring. I will be your wife.”
He slipped the band on her finger and clasped her hand in his.
“The repairs on my house are almost finished. I think you will like the house, Sarah. It has a large kitchen and lots of windows for light. There is a stone fireplace in the living room, and there are four bedrooms upstairs.”
“Four? Are you planning for us to have several children, Samuel?”
Sarah almost laughed out loud at the embarrassed flush that colored his neck.
“Would that be acceptable to you?” He looked at her earnestly.
“More than acceptable, my love. I want to fill our lives and our home with many, many children.”
“I do have one thing I must talk to you about.”
She was surprised by the seriousness of his tone, and she waited for him to continue.
“I am a cop, Sarah. I’ve been a cop my entire adult life. I don’t know any other way of life.” He gazed deeply in her eyes. “But I’m willing to try to be something else. A farmer, maybe. Or perhaps I can learn woodworking. I did a decent job on that table I finished.”
Sarah cupped his face in her hand. “I do not know Samuel the farmer. Nor have I met Samuel the woodworker. I only know the man I met and the man I love with all my heart...and that man is a cop. A very good cop, I might add. And I wouldn’t want him to try to be anything that he is not.”
“Are you absolutely certain? I want you to be happy, Sarah. I do not want you to have any regrets.”
“No regrets. But one ironclad rule.”
He arched an eyebrow in question.
“There are never to be guns in reach or sight of the children. Not ever.”
“I promise.” Samuel leaned forward and sealed the promise with a kiss.
“Speaking of children,” Sam said, turning his attention to the sleeping infant in her mother’s arms. “What have you decided to name this precious one?” Sam gently stroked the wisps of golden locks that continued to stand straight up in the air.
“I don’t know yet,” Sarah replied. “I’ve been holding her for the last few hours and trying to decide what name best suits her.”
“I know what we should call her.”
We? Did he say “we”?
Sarah’s heart felt like a bird thrashing in her chest. The three of them were going to be a family. She didn’t believe it was possible for a person to be so happy.
“Faith.” Sam’s eyes locked with hers. “Let’s name her Faith.”
When Sam’s lips touched hers in a passionate kiss full of promises for the future, Sarah knew he was right. Faith was the perfect name. Sarah had complete faith that they had a long and happy future stretching out in front of them. Their future was in God’s hands—and God was good.
EPILOGUE
Jacob snapped the reins, and the horse and buggy cleared the curve and approached the white house on the hill.
“What time will Samuel be joining us?” He glanced over at his passenger and smiled. “Rebecca has baked a fresh apple pie, and she will not allow anyone near it until Samuel arrives.”
Sarah grinned. “He won’t be long. He got called over to the Millers’ farm. Someone tampered with his fencing, and his cows are scattered up and down the road.”
Jacob chuckled. “That must be a sight. Cars and cows on the same roads. Perhaps the cows will win, and the Englisch drivers will go away—permanently.”
Sarah laughed. “You know you don’t mean a word of that, Jacob. The tourists provide an excellent market for your produce and Rebecca’s pies.”
Jacob pulled up to the hitching post.
“I know. I know.” He waved his hand dismissively. “But I cannot help but wish I could steer my buggy into town without horns blasting and my horse being skittish each time the cars rev their engines or rush past.”
Jacob jumped out of the buggy and tied the reins to the post.
“Kumm, kumm, everyone has been waiting.” Rebecca beckoned to Sarah and stretched out her arms. “Let me have the boppli.”
Sarah smiled as she handed her sleeping daught
er down into her grandmother’s waiting arms. Jacob came around and offered her a hand getting out of the buggy.
Sarah followed the two of them to the grove, where picnic tables covered by white tablecloths dotted the horizon. Even from this distance, Sarah could recognize most of her neighbors already socializing.
“Sarah, Sarah!” William and Mary raced across the lawn in her direction. “Did you bring any cookies with you?”
Sarah laughed. “Get the basket off the floor of the backseat of the buggy. Carry it over to the table, and I will let each of you sample one cookie apiece.”
The children dashed off.
Benjamin followed them with his gaze. “They should not be asking you for cookies, Sarah. I will speak with them.”
“Nonsense, Benjamin. They are children. Let them be.”
“Only if I am also allowed to sample the wares.”
Sarah’s eyes widened with surprise, and she laughed. “Well, Benjamin, if I didn’t know any better, I would swear you are just a big kid yourself.”
The sound of her daughter’s voice caught and held Sarah’s attention.
“Looks like someone just woke up from her nap.”
Faith squirmed in her grandmother’s arms and tried to get down.
“No, precious. If I put you on the ground, you will get dirt all over your hands. Let’s sit down at the table, and Grandmom will fix you something to eat.”
A car approached, kicking up dirt and dust as it sped closer.
Jacob shook his head from side to side. “There’s something about cars and speed that appeals to Samuel, but I am afraid I will never understand.”
“I understand it, Jacob. Samuel doesn’t want to miss Faith’s first birthday party. Why don’t you and Benjamin join the others? I will wait here for Samuel, and we’ll be over in just a moment.”
The warmth of the sun beat on Sarah’s face, and the light breeze ruffled the wisps of hair framing her cheeks. Sounds of laughter and conversations wafted on the air. The party was in full swing, and from her vantage point she could see her daughter basking in the love and attention.